The Secret Life of Beatrice Alright

Chapter 19

NINETEEN

The snow is at least five inches thick, or as MrsBrennan would say twelve centimetres, and it plays havoc with traffic. I’m late for work and, in spite of the cold snap outside, I am sweating when the bus pulls up at the hospital stop.

‘Watch it,’ someone shouts at me, as one of my Tesco bags hits him in the leg when he descends the bus steps ahead of me.

‘It’s just teddies,’ I snap back.

‘Yeah, well, next time keep your shopping to yourself, right?’

‘It was an accident. Jesus. Sorry.’

‘Now, now, where’s our Christmas spirit,’ a lady with even more bags than me says, appearing behind us as the bus pulls away.

The man’s face softens. ‘Look, I’m sorry. Just feeling the pressure of all the bits and pieces that need to be bought at this time of year. Need to win the damn lotto.’

‘It’s okay. Me too,’ I say.

The three of us part and go our separate ways, but I think about Christmas the whole walk into the hospital. I left Cora’s flat in such a kerfuffle this morning that Christmas was the last thing on my mind. But the big day is next week and, as of right now, Ellie and I might be spending it on the street.

I take Malcolm’s wellies off at the main doors and slip into my worn work shoes. Upstairs, Elaine is waiting for me.

‘And what time do you call this?’ she asks, pressing her finger against the face of her watch as if I can see it from where I’m standing.

I sigh. ‘The weather.’

‘Yes. Yes. I suppose none of us can control that. It took me an hour longer than usual to come in this morning. The M50 was at a standstill.’

‘I don’t drive,’ I say. ‘Had to wait on the bus.’

‘Right. Right. Well, can you get an earlier one tomorrow, then?’

I grimace. ‘I would. But I have to drop my daughter to crèche and they only open at eight.’

Elaine turns, but I still catch her rolling her eyes.

‘Okay, fair enough, but I’ll have to adjust your wages if you’re going to be late all this week. I’m sorry, but it’s only fair to those who are making it in on time.’

The tips of my shoulders are burning from the weight of the plastic bags in my hands and I wait for Elaine to say something about them. Ask me if I was late because I’d been running around Christmas shopping, that way everyone else does. But instead, she says, ‘Nice wellies.’

I glance into the bag in my left arm. The handle is digging into my palm now and stinging, the bright red wellington boots are sitting on top and hiding a multitude of teddies bellow.

‘Sensible choice in this weather,’ she continues. ‘I might get myself a pair.’

I smile, relieved by the shift to small talk.

‘Right, well, dump your stuff and get going. Could you start with the men’s toilets please? They’re not pretty, I’m afraid.’

Normally my stomach would heave a little at the thought of it, but I’m so relieved Elaine didn’t notice my entire life was wrapped up in Tesco plastic that I hurry towards the storage room with new-found energy. I dump the bags in the back and pull out the mop and bucket.

The day is long and full of bodily excretions. One of the other cleaners asks me if I’d like to join her and the new girl in the café across the street for lunch.

‘They do the nicest acai bowls,’ she tells me.

‘I’d love to,’ I say, wringing out my mop that smells like feet, underarms and bleach all at the same time. ‘But I already have plans. Thanks so much though.’

‘Maybe next time,’ she says.

I try hard to smile. ‘Yeah. Definitely.’

‘She never comes,’ I hear her whisper to the new girl as they walk away.

‘Then why do you keep asking her?’

‘Dunno. Just thought maybe some day I’d find out why she’s so weird?’

‘Is she weird?’

‘God yeah.’

They continue talking, no doubt about my personality, as they fade out of earshot. I sneak an unopened rice pudding and some apple juice off a tray a patient has finished eating from and make my way into the storage room to have my lunch. I’ve just taken my phone out to scroll through flat listings as usual when it begins to ring, and Cora’s name pops up on the screen. I take a deep breath and answer.

‘Hey,’ I say, trying hard to sound casual.

‘Heya. Where did you go this morning? I was on the early shift. I thought we could have brekkie together.’

‘Oh, erm, yeah, sorry. Ellie was up and singing her head off, so I thought we’d hit the road early.’

‘You know I love Ellie’s singing,’ she says.

Ellie has a voice like a strangled crow, but Cora always smiles when she sings. Finton is a different story, and the moment of pause between us tells me that we’re both thinking about that.

‘I didn’t want to wake Finton,’ I go on. ‘I know he’s on a later shift today.’

‘Yeah, yeah, he is. God, what time did ye guys leave? Was anywhere even open?’

‘We got brekkie,’ I say, proudly.

‘Oh. Okay. Cool.’ She sounds as if she doesn’t believe me and I fight the urge to elaborate about Ellie’s eggs. ‘Well, anyway, it’s my turn to cook tonight so I was wondering what Ellie would like. I won’t make curry, don’t worry.’

I laugh. ‘Actually, we won’t be home for dinner.’

‘Oh.’

‘Yeah. Erm. I found a place.’

‘What?’ Her voice rises an octave. ‘When?’

‘Just…’ I stutter. ‘Erm, literally just now. But it’s ready and available immediately.’

‘Really? Somewhere came up this close to Christmas?’

She sounds disappointed.

‘Yep. So I have to pounce.’

‘Yeah, yeah. Of course.’

I can tell now she is definitely disappointed, and I’m not sure why. I thought she would be thrilled to get her space with Finton back.

‘Erm, okay, I’m delighted, Bea. Is it a good location for work? Send me the address, yeah? Just in case you’re moving in with a bunch of serial killers or something and I have to come and hit them over the head with a Christmas stocking.’

‘A Christmas stocking?’

‘Well, I’d fill it with rocks first, obviously.’

I laugh. ‘Duh, obviously.’

I hear Cora inhale, and seriously she says, ‘I’m happy for you, Bea. See, what did I tell you? I said everything would be all right, didn’t I?’

I wince and hope I can push words out before I choke up. ‘You were right.’

‘Okay, cool,’ she says quickly, and I know this is the part of the call where she has to hang up soon and go back to work. ‘But send me on the address, because I would love to come around and meet your new roomies. I’ll bring cake. And I promise to leave all Christmas stocking and rocks at home.’

‘Yeah. Course.’ I swallow hard. ‘I’ll send everything on later. Okay.’

‘Cool. Cool. Gotta go. Someone’s here for chest X-ray. Byeeeee.’

‘Bye.’

I slide my phone back into my pocket and drop my face into my hands. I take some deep breaths, enough for the smell of bleach to make me light-headed, and look up again.

‘Welcome home, Beatrice Alright,’ I say out loud as I look around the storage room.

The idea hit me while I was on the phone with Cora. I hid Ellie in this storage room for a day. Sure, I lost her, but that’s because she was awake. Sleeping kids don’t go walkabout. And she and I only need somewhere to sleep. By day, she’s in crèche and I’m in work. So by night we can be in here. Who will ever find out? It feels slightly genius and slightly insane at the same time. But it’s a solution and the absolute best answer I can come up with right now.

I glance around at Ellie’s and my new home, then I sit down and lean back against an industrial-sized drum of antibacterial floor wash to enjoy rice pudding, and I’m sorry I didn’t nick some jelly too.