Chapter 11
Chapter 11
Jane locked herself in her room as soon as she arrived home, ignoring her sisters’ barrage of curious questions. She needed to ponder. Of course all she could ponder was Grayson. In leisurely detail. When they were together, her brain ceased all but its most basic functions.
She would have thought less of him today had she not been so strangely touched by all the emotions he revealed when he had shouted at his sister. The love and sheer panic of a man who was finally realizing that he could not control the world.
Pompous Grayson. He meant well, even if his heavy-handed methods left something to be desired. She did not understand why she felt so at ease with him. Perhaps because he was not easily shocked by the things she said, and she had done a very shocking thing.
Would her secret shock him?
Probably—if his treatment of Chloe were any indication. Even his liberal standards apparently extended only to the male prerogative for misbehavior.
But no matter what happened in the end, for this moment he made her feel valued, and no one, except her dogs, had ever seemed to value Jane for herself.
Except that Grayson didn’t know who she really was. Or what she had done. What would he think if the truth were revealed?
As surprisingly enjoyable as the day spent with Jane had proven, Grayson did not look forward to the inevitable confrontation with Chloe that same evening. Of all his siblings his younger sister was the one he worried about and collided with the most. Possibly because in too many ways they were alike.
Arrogant. Adventurous. Always taking up lost causes.
Attracted to trouble. Determined to have their own way and damn the consequences.
He paused outside her bedroom door, bracing himself for another battle. At times like this he wished their spine-of-steel sister Emma were here to do the honors. Or even Heath, whose gentle intensity seemed to disarm women quite effectively. Having Jane at his side would help, even if she scolded him afterward. Grayson realized that in personal matters he possessed all the tact of a battering ram. But there were certain issues on which one must stand firm. He was the head of the family whether he liked it or not. He would be obeyed.
Why did Chloe defy him at every turn?
What was he going to do about her?
He opened the door. He had no inkling of what to say.
She was seated at her desk, her wavy black hair spread across her shoulders like a raven’s wing. She looked young and vulnerable but grown up at the same time. She stiffened her back as he entered the room, but did not turn around. “Ah, my gaoler appears,” she said. “Please leave the bread and water by the door.”
“Chloe.”
“Grayson.”
He started to speak, then paused as he noticed a sketch of Brandon sitting on her desk. Brandon had been the baby of the family and Chloe’s fervent champion as well as partner in childhood mischief. His death, on top of their father’s, had devastated her at a time when she should have been preparing herself for marriage.
Once again he blamed himself for not being with his father and Chloe when they received word that Brandon had been killed. For months Royden Boscastle had been begging his eldest son to come to their country home for a week of hunting and entertaining old friends. Grayson had put him off and promised to come at a later date, not realizing that time was running out for their reunion.
Had Royden Boscastle had a premonition of his death? Grayson could not help wondering whether his father would have survived if he’d been at his side to soften the blow of Brandon’s murder. Chloe and their father had been alone when the letter came, and she’d held him in her arms, helpless and afraid, as he died. The shock and sadness had changed her.
“What did you think you were doing today?” he asked her quietly.
“I do not want to discuss it.”
He sat on the edge of her chaise. “Chloe, turn around and talk to me. We will discuss this.”
She hesitated, then turned, her blue eyes cold . . . and wounded. He sighed, his heart aching for her.
“What did you expect me to do?” he asked in chagrin. “He was a soldier, for the love of God.”
Her pen tapped the desk. “So, if I had been kissing a duke, you would have granted your approval?”
“Of course not,” he retorted. “But at least someone of your own class, well, if you really were in love, marriage would have been an option. I’d never even seen him before.”
Her white teeth worried the edge of her bottom lip. “And what did you intend to gain by bringing Jane along to witness my disgrace?”
“Jane defended you, actually.”
“Someone ought to defend her against you,” she burst out, the blue eyes so like his full of fire.
He drew a breath, allowing the insult to die unchallenged. “Chloe, you can’t tell me that you really love that young man.”
“I might.”
He shook his head in chagrin. “I don’t like this wild turn you have taken. Nor do I approve of your work at the Foundling Hospital and the Female Penitentiary for that matter, with ruined young women and whores.”
“Nobody cares about them, Grayson,” she said, her voice underscored with passion. “They have no parents to watch over them.”
No parents. Was her sense of loss so acute, so pervasive, that she felt more at home with these anguished beings than her own family?
“I care about you, Chloe,” he said in bewilderment. “All of us do.”
“Then allow me to live my life as I please.”
“Not until what pleases you meets my approval.” He rose, his large hands buried in his pockets as he began to pace behind her. “Perhaps we should find you a husband. I don’t know. Someone Papa would have chosen.”
A flicker of pain darkened her blue eyes and was masked before he could decipher it. “Papa would have let me choose for myself.”
“We both know that’s a lie,” he said quickly. “He was a tyrant, Chloe, as much as we loved him. He could be quite hurtful at times.”
She came to her feet, her cheeks flushed, her voice distressed. “Don’t say that.”
“Well, it’s true. It doesn’t mean I didn’t love him. Or that I don’t miss him as much as you.”
“I want to go to Nepal,” she said unexpectedly.
“What?” he said in astonishment.
“I want to find Brandon’s body.”
He vented a deep sigh. He wasn’t about to tell her that animal scavengers had probably left no remains to be brought home. That Brandon and his companions had died in a ravine after being ambushed by rebels. As far as he knew, no one had revealed the grim details to her. In fact, no one really knew for certain what had happened, despite Heath and Drake’s efforts to uncover the truth.
“It’s out of the question, Chloe,” he said, shaking his head for emphasis.
“It was Papa’s idea.”
“Perhaps for him to go.”
“Devon said he would take me.”
“Then I shall wring the young devil’s neck when he comes home,” he said, his deep voice rising at the very thought of the danger involved.
She stared at him, clearly fighting tears, of defiance, of grief. “One day I shall do exactly what I like.”
“Not if I have a say in it.” He put his hands firmly on her shoulders. She stiffened and refused to meet his gaze. “Don’t see that soldier again,” he said, sounding so much like their father that he winced.
“You’ve probably frightened him away forever anyway,” she muttered.
“I hope so.”
She lifted her gaze to his, a glint of amusement in her eyes. “You might have frightened Jane away, too.”
Grayson struggled against the urge to laugh as he remembered the setdown Jane had dealt him in his sister’s defense. Had everyone underestimated her? “She took your side, if you must know.”
“I like her, Grayson,” she admitted, expelling a deep sigh. “There’s something appealing about Jane. Please don’t do anything to make her situation worse.”
He looked surprised. “Chloe, it’s partly because of you that I have become her friend. You convinced me in the chapel that helping her was the right thing to do, and it made me think. And, you know, it’s really odd, I like her, too. It’s so easy to talk to her.”
“Just don’t take being her friend too far,” she said quietly.
He exhaled in relief, tempted to take her in his arms like the little sister she would always be to him. So Jane was to be their common ground, the link to reestablish their damaged relationship. Jane, his sensible peacemaker and unwitting seductress.
“I think Jane is able to take care of herself,” he said. “Especially if we remain loyal to her.”
“I hope so.” Chloe gave him a tentative smile. “Perhaps she will bring out the best in you.”
“Not the beast?”
She laughed reluctantly, unable to resist his charm. “For her sake, I hope not.”