forty-four
I follow the archangel downstairs to join Sam, nodding to Brendon and Alicia as they squeeze past us and head for the empty bedrooms to take their turn sleeping. Brendon shoves me into the wall playfully as he passes. I shake my head, but can hardly manage a smile.
One thing plays on my mind when I look at them, when I think about what their being here means.
We’ve been silent for a while, the three of us hiding behind the curtains in the living room. I stand by the window, occasionally peeling back the material to scan the shadows for any signs of darkness. They’re still and empty, but it doesn’t bring me comfort.
“Is Xavier…” I begin.
“Alive?”
Sam finishes the question I couldn’t bear to ask. “He’s the director. He doesn’t go out into the field unless there’s no one else left.”
My heart feels lighter, only by a fraction. No matter what has happened, I know Xavier is safe.
“Did you find Jeremy?” Sam asks.
I stiffen, the heaviness on my heart pressing back down in full. The archangel takes his turn peering out the window next to mine, acting as if he couldn’t care less about the conversation between Sam and me.
I take a breath, feeling a lack of air in the room. “The angel took him. The same one you’ve been tracking.”
The fallen angel. Though I don’t tell him that. I have no excuse for why I know it.
Sam stops his pacing, and I don’t need to turn back to know that he’s staring at me. “The monster with the blades for feathers?”
The archangel’s jaw ticks, but he doesn’t look away from the window.
“Yes,”
I whisper, my gaze darting back to the shadows.
Sam’s sigh reeks of pity. “Jones… You know he’s probably —”
“He’s not dead.”
The words cut like blades as they sneak through my gritted teeth, so sharp that the archangel’s attention is pulled towards me.
I look at Sam, my brows pulled closely together. His expression softens, pity etched on his features. I despise every inch of it.
“I suppose if anyone is stubborn enough to find someone who’s lost, it would be you,” he says.
I appreciate his attempt to lighten the conversation, as obvious as it may be. I offer him a smile. “Determined, you mean.”
“No, he was right the first time.”
The archangel doesn’t look at us, nor does he sound as if he’s joking. The small tug on his lips is the only thing that gives him away.
Sam chuckles. “I think I like him.”
He slumps onto the sofa, leaving the archangel and I to survey the shadows. “How did the two of you meet?”
The past few days flash through my mind like a movie. Our first meeting in the train station, our second in the park, our third at the Luminary, and everything that’s happened since.
“I saved her life.”
The archangel’s tone is cool, but his mouth curves.
My expression matches his, the memory of driving my blade into his abdomen once fearful, now fond. “And then I saved his.”
Sam scoffs. “Amara Jones, always the saviour.”
I roll my eyes, remembering who I’m talking to. “For a moment, Sam, I thought this might’ve changed you a little. Made you into an actual human being. How silly of me.”
Sam’s elbows rest on his knees as he looks away from me. “You’ve always thought you know best when it comes to humanity. That there’s only one way to be a good person. Glad to see that this hasn’t changed you either.”
“Sam —”
“What? You’re sorry? You feel bad? Yes, Amara, I get it – you have empathy, you want to save people, you’re as selfless as you are reckless.”
He pauses and looks towards me, but I don’t see disdain in his eyes as I expected. Rather something akin to sadness. “And I’m just the guy willing to punch his way through a battle, no matter who the enemy is. Tell me the target and I’ll shoot, right?”
I shake my head, ignoring the twang of guilt in my stomach. “I didn’t say that.”
But I’ve thought it many times.
“I didn’t cry as I watched my team torn apart by beasts. I didn’t scream as Kate was mauled in front of me. I don’t emote the way you do. I don’t show empathy the way you do. It doesn’t mean that I don’t feel.”
He stands and takes a step towards me, and I see the archangel straighten, watching him closely. “I don’t fight for humanity just because that’s what my orders are. I fight for the cause that I believe in. I fight for what is right. You’ve never seen me that way.”
He points at me with an aggression that I’m used to, but it feels different. He looks different, the lines of his face softer.
I don’t respond right away, a little unsure of what to say. He’s right; I have never seen him as someone capable of empathy. I’ve always thought of him as a brute, willing to follow whatever order is given, no matter who pays the price. I’ve never tried to know him further than that, despite the years we’ve spent fighting together.
“All you’ve ever done is taunt me,”
I say finally. “I’ve never seen any other side of you.”
He lowers his hand, his shoulders squaring. “I taunted you because I’ve always known that you don’t respect me.”
The guilt in my stomach turns sour. Part of me wants to reach out and touch him, though I almost think it would be an insult for this to be the first time we’ve ever hugged. “I’m sorry that I never tried to know you. I’m sorry that I judged you without trying to understand.”
And I mean it. I never wished to learn more about him, just because I didn’t like what was on the surface. But maybe in another life we could have been friends. Maybe if we survive this, we’ll get that chance.
I look over to the archangel, who watches us closely, wearing an unreadable expression. His eyes shine brightly in the moonlight that sneaks through the curtains. It illuminates his features, the soft glow that surrounds him becoming more prominent. I wonder if Sam sees it, if he notices the archangel’s otherworldly qualities.
The glow flickers and fades as darkness crawls through the glass. Talon-like shadows reach for his hands.
“Archangel!”
I rush to him, pushing him out of the way of the darkness.
“Archangel?”
Sam’s shocked whisper is laced with fear, but there’s no time for him to be afraid. Not when shadows flood the room and form the shapes of the creatures of darkness that lurk outside.
Daemons walk slowly towards the house, their low growls hungry as they move with intent. There are dozens of them, but that’s not what makes me quake with fear. It’s the large lion with a dark red mane, the black goat with horns that could piece hearts, and the head of a blue dragon with teeth as sharp as knives. They don’t belong to different creatures – it’s as if they’ve been stitched together to become one.
“What in the worlds…”
Sam mutters next to me as we watch the creatures emerge.
“Wake up the others.”
The archangel no longer pretends to be human. His wings reappear behind him, his voice radiating the power that hums beneath his skin.
Sam spits at the archangel’s feet and points his blade towards his face. “I don’t take orders from you.”
“Sam, he’s not going to hurt us —”
He whips his head towards me, blade still in hand. “And you,”
he says through gritted teeth, “you brought the enemy into our camp. You called him your friend.”
I take a deep breath, my hand flexing at my side. The shadows whisper for me to reach for my blade, to take out the threat. The man I have always despised – what harm would it be to take his life?
I freeze. No. I have spilt enough blood over the past days. I will not hurt him.
“Sam…”
I take a step towards him with my hands out in front of me. “He’s not what we thought he was. We can trust him. You can trust him.”
He hisses and takes a step back. “Have you forgotten what they’ve done to us? The whole reason we’re here?”
He points to the archangel. “Because of his people. Because he led them here.”
The archangel’s sigh is impatient. “We do not have time to argue over this. They are going to try to kill me as much as you.”
He moves between us, and I have to step around him to see Sam’s snarl.
Sam scoffs. “The difference is, can you really die?”
“Sam.”
His name is stern on my lips, commanding his attention away from the archangel. “Do you trust me?”
I try to soften my expression, to will sincerity onto my face. Sam is not my favourite person, never has been, but that doesn’t mean I’d lie to him. “You have known me for years. We may not have been friends, but we have trained to fight in this war together. You know me. You know what I stand for. Trust that I trust him. Let him help us, or we will all perish.”
My plea is born of fear, of the hope that he will pick a fight with the beasts that await us outside this house and not the archangel who has protected me so fiercely. If he decides the archangel is the enemy, they’ll all end up dead.
Sam’s eyes search mine. His lips pull into a tight line before he finally looks over to the archangel again. His shoulders relax. “I will wake the others.”
I look back out the window, taking a deep breath. One threat down…
Beastly creatures walk from the shadows and surround the house, daemons coming with them. “What are they?” I ask.
The archangel’s wings open and close before he slowly pulls his sword from its sheath and holds it beside him. “Lilith’s most horrid experiment. The chimera.”
Chimera.
The archangel turns to me, his hands finding their place on either side of my face, tingling warmth accompanying them. “Amara, they won’t survive this.”
I shake my head, his hands dropping as I do. These are my people. The AIA has become my home and my purpose. If they die, I die with them. I have cheated death too many times over the past few days thanks to the archangel, but I won’t allow myself to do it again if they can’t.
I lift my chin. “If they don’t survive, neither do I. Do you understand? If you can’t save all of us, you let me die.”
His exasperation is clear. His gaze drifts out the window and he lets out a breath.
Before I even realise what I’m doing, my hand finds its way to his face, pulling his attention back to me. The heat beneath my fingers spreads a feeling of comfort down my arm. “Promise me that no matter what happens, you’ll find Jeremy. Promise me that you’ll save him.”
“They saw the hellhounds. You know they’re already going to die.”
“I don’t care, archangel. Why should I get to live another day if they cannot?”
The archangel’s features harden. He growls as he removes my hand from his face and walks away without a word.