fifty-five
“Oh, Layla.”
My insides twist, my eyes swelling with unshed tears. “You weren’t supposed to be here. You were supposed to leave, to be free. To save yourself.”
Her expression doesn’t change. She only grips the gun tighter.
“Why didn’t you leave?”
My voice trembles on the question. I wish more than anything that I could walk over to her and shake her by the shoulders. “Listen to my voice, Layla. You know me. We’re a team. We’re friends. This isn’t you. You’re kind, you’re compassionate, you help people. Don’t let him do this to you.”
I still hold the sword in my hand, but I don’t want to use it. Not on her. She’s an innocent girl who cares too much for people. She’s not my enemy. She doesn’t have a single drop of darkness in her. I can’t kill her – I won’t. I’d rather die than murder my friend.
My friend who, only days ago, spoke with fear about taking another creature’s life.
“Only you can make this stop, saviour. All I need is your fidelity.”
Cain’s chuckle makes me shudder, but I keep my eyes focused on the quiet girl in front of me.
Layla stops a few steps away from me. Her gun is still aimed at my head. My free hand moves slowly to grasp the handgun tucked into my belt.
“You don’t want to do this.”
My tone turns firm and commanding, surprising me a little. “Layla.”
I say her name like an angry mother would the name of a misbehaving child. Despite tears shedding from her glassy eyes, her finger still itches for the trigger.
I turn my attention to Cain, and fight the urge to shoot.
“I’m not who you think I am, Cain.”
He smirks. “We’ll see about that.”
Layla puts her finger on the trigger now. Her hand shakes. She closes her eyes tightly and I can see the battle between her consciousness and Cain’s influence as she fights the urge to pull the trigger.
I pull my gun from my belt and fire first.
The bullet flies fast and far, piercing through flesh. I hear a low scream, more of a growl.
Cain clutches his shoulder tightly, black blood staining his flesh. “You little bitch.”
Spit falls from his mouth as he growls the word, his seething tone making me flinch. His wings flex outwards in a display of power. They’re so sharp that I wonder if he even needs a weapon.
Layla drops the gun and falls to her knees, her hands covering her mouth to muffle her sobs. I put my gun back in my belt and walk over to her, placing my hand on her shoulder. The only thing I can think to do in this moment. The only way I can show her my support.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,”
she says between sobs, and I find myself wishing I could hold her tight and take away her pain.
“It’s okay. It wasn’t you. It’s okay,”
I reassure her, but keep my attention firm on the fallen angel who roars in the background, picking a bullet out of his flesh.
I let go of Layla now, holding the sword up high. I watch as Cain’s skin begins to knit itself back together.
“You shot me, saviour. Do you still think you’re human?”
He spits and takes a few steps backward, turning his attention to the remaining humans on their knees. To my human. “You’re going to swear a blood oath, or I’m going to kill every single one of them.”
Blades tear away from his wings one by one. They float quickly through the air and press into the backs of my friends. All except for one.
Xavier rises from his place and walks over to Layla. He bends down and picks up his discarded gun without saying a word, and then aims it towards Cain.
Cain doesn’t react at all; he merely appears bored.
Xavier’s trigger finger squeezes and then releases, sending a bullet flying towards the fallen angel.
I run towards my friend, placing myself between him and Cain. I prepare for Cain’s lash of fury, but the angel only laughs. He stands tall and flicks the bullet off his shoulder. It crumpled into a ball as it met his flesh, not even piercing skin.
Cain’s eyes narrow and his jaw clenches. “Do you still think you’re human?”
he repeats.
Xavier stands still behind me, as if he’s just an empty shell.
“I – I don’t understand,”
I stutter as the voice in my mind fights to take over.
“You are the daughter of the archangels Raphael and Athena.”
A human cannot harm an archangel, yet I did. I injured Nathaniel twice, I made Jeremiah bleed at the warehouse, and now Cain. Xavier shot him with the same agency-issued handgun… with the same bullets… and it did nothing.
“You do understand. You know what you are deep down.”
Cain bares his teeth in a sick grin. “And you will serve a great purpose in Lilith’s army.”
“Are you insane? You slaughter innocent people for sport! Keeping them caged like wild animals. I’d rather let the world burn and be put out of its misery than help torture humankind.”
I take a step towards him, my teeth gritted together.
Cain sighs with exasperation. “Have it your way.”
The fallen angel gestures to Xavier behind me.
Xavier lifts his gun again, this time aiming it at me. Then I hear the sound of Cain’s wings as he lifts into the air in an instant.
My heart slows, the dark pit in my stomach eating away at my every nerve. My friend’s name escapes my mouth in a plea, but as his finger twitches on the trigger, it’s drowned out by the sound of a gunshot.
I narrowly escape the bullet. It’s as if time slows as I turn from my friend and run. I hear nothing but muffled gunshots, ducking low and sprinting towards the door I came through.
The sound of crunching glass follows me through the foyer, lagging behind by only a moment. As if Xavier’s pursuit is slowed by the battle within him. I take that extra moment to run up the stairs that lead towards the training rooms. I can hide in the changing rooms, perhaps in a locker. Give myself time to think of a plan.
The footsteps behind me disappear for a moment, and I hope that my diversion worked.
The training room is empty, but belongings are scattered across the floor as if they were abandoned in a hurry. The lockers in the changing rooms have been left open, and I make sure to close each one before tucking myself into one that’s hidden between hanging coats and towels.
As I close it behind me, I hear footsteps hurry through the door. “Amarrrrrraaaaa.”
He says my name as a drawl, his voice unrecognisable. “I know you’re in here.”
The sound of bullets piercing metal rings through my ears.
“I have to kill you, Amara.”
Xavier’s voice sounds strained, the only indication that my friend lies beneath the surface.
A bullet pierces the locker next to mine and I jump. I breathe, my foot hovering in front of the door.
I see movement through the cracks and, before he can raise the gun, I kick the door hard. Metal slams into his face, distracting him for a moment before he recovers and lifts his gun again. A moment that allows me to jump out of the locker and spin out of the way.
Tossing the sword aside, I push the barrel of his gun up with one hand and to the side with the other, snatching it from his grip. Xavier charges at me, tackling me to the ground. I let him do so, taking the time to empty the chamber of the gun and throw it to the opposite side of the room.
Xavier pins my hands above my head and straddles me, his expression never wavering.
“Xavier, it’s me.”
I know the words have no meaning. He is strong, but the fallen angel is stronger.
I rock my hips, lifting my head at the same time to ram it into his, sending a rush of pain through both of us. Xavier lets go of my wrists and squeezes his forehead. I take the chance to grab his shoulders and rock to flip us over so that I sit on top.
A flicker of recognition washes over his features for a moment before it fades. I stand and run, but hesitate on the threshold of the training room.
I wait for him on the sparring mat, a smile growing on my face as he lingers in the doorway. My hands come up to shelter my face, my right foot forward and my left back.
He and I have stood in the ring like this a hundred times before. We take great pleasure in working out our aggressions on each other. Why not reminisce a little?
Xavier steps into the ring, his moves calculating as he matches my stance. In a state like this, he’ll likely forget that I know how he fights.
He starts with a right hook that flies through the air above my head as I duck. I bring my fist to his stomach. He brings his elbow down on my back. Once, twice, three times. The flesh grows tender, but I drive my knee into his stomach as he tries for a fourth. My foot slams into his, and I spin, my elbow driving backward into his face. Blood trickles from his nose, but he hardly flinches before his fist meets my jaw.
I hear a loud crunch and pain shoots through every bone in my face. I bite down hard as the ache spreads, drawing blood from my lip. I pull my hands back up to guard my face just in time to block his next blow. The agony that follows is almost as bad as if I hadn’t blocked it.
“Xavier…”
I say his name as a plea between breaths.
He thrusts his arm out, but I duck and spin around him, bringing my foot into his back to push him down to his knees.
“Xavier, snap out of it!” I shout.
He spins to his feet and his gaze locks with mine. For a second, I think I see his expression change. For a second, I think I see my friend in front of me. In the next second, he lunges and grabs me by the hair, dragging me backward.
I let out a scream and claw at his hands. A stupid move. I dig my heels into the ground and pull against him with all my strength. The ache is almost unbearable. My eyes well with tears. I kick backward as hard as I can, my foot making contact with his kneecap. Xavier lets go of my hair, screaming in agony and falling to one knee.
Pain is an emotion. It’s an indication that he feels. That’s good.
I spin around and kick again, this time hitting his jaw. Xavier growls, blood splattering out of his mouth. He looks up at me with fury in his eyes. Anger – perfect.
“There he is,”
I smirk as he stands.
A sadistic smile spreads across his face.
My heart drops. It’s not working. I can’t get through to him. I can’t get past the fallen angel’s control of his mind.
The archangel said he could speak to the minds of those he’s bonded with, so if I am who they believe I am, then I should be able to speak to Xavier’s mind, right? I should be able to reach him.
Xavier, listen to me.
I send the words out, hoping they find their way to him. Perhaps in the same way that Jeremiah was able to pull the strings in my mind, I can unravel the darkness within Xavier’s.
You need to snap out of it. You need to look at me.
His fist connects with my eye, and I topple forward but regain my balance. I drive mine into his stomach and slam my foot down on his yet again.
Xavier, please, I beg, desperation clawing at me.
I don’t know what else to do, but I can’t keep hurting him. This man is the only family I have. He is the only person in the worlds that I trust. He is kind, he is clever, he is selfless. He is strong, he is funny, he is everything to me.
If one of us is going to die, it’s going to be me.
Xavier grunts as he grabs hold of me, drawing his arm back to punch again.
Xavier!
His eyes connect with mine and he stops, his smile dropping.
“Amara…”
My name is hardly audible. Unshed tears fill his eyes.
Xavier’s hands move to cup my cheeks, a grateful laugh bubbling from him. “How in the worlds did you do that?”
“I honestly don’t know how to answer that question,”
I laugh back, my hands wrapping around his. Though it’s true: the horrifying reality of what it means weighs on me like a cage. The reality of what I am.
Xavier lowers his forehead to rest against my own. “We need to go.”
I run back to the changing rooms, picking up the discarded sword and tossing him his gun. The echo of sadistic laughter follows us as we flee from the building.