Chapter 15
Chapter 15
If Jason was having a sex dream, he never wanted to wake up. Gabby was in his arms, naked except for a tiny pair of black undies.
He cupped her ass in both hands and dragged her closer. “You were the most stunning woman at that party tonight.”
When his partner stiffened, he knew he had said the wrong thing.
Gabby shook her head slowly. “You don’t need to give me words like that. I don’t expect compliments.”
He ground his teeth. “Is this about Cate?”
“Not specifically, but good grief, Jason. Your ex-fiancée has a regal Grace Kelly beauty. I know you’re attracted to me, but the truth is the truth.”
“So I can’t think you’re beautiful, because of Cate?”
“That’s not what I said.”
She made him frustrated and crazed in equal measure. He took her wrist and dragged her to the bed. He wanted to get undressed, but they had to sort something out first. When he pulled back the covers and gently shoved her onto the mattress, she clutched the sheet to cover her breasts.
Shaking his head wryly, he flopped down beside her and rested his head on his hand. “You’re an incredibly lovely woman, Gabriella. Just looking at you makes me ache. Your creamy skin is smooth and warm. Smoky gray eyes hold secrets. Hair so soft and silky I want to wrap myself in it. And your body. Damn, woman. Curves in all the right places. I can’t even see anyone else when I’m with you. I’m breathless.”
Her eyes rounded during his speech. A hint of pink bloomed across her cheekbones. She searched his face. “You really mean that, don’t you?”
He traced her lips with a fingertip. “All that and infinitely more. But until you tell me you understand, I’m not taking off a single other piece of clothing. You can’t have me, Gabby, unless I know you hear me loud and clear.”
Her lips twitched. “I bet I could seduce you.”
His pulse kicked. His mouth dried. He smiled. “Maybe so. But you’d hate yourself in the morning.”
She reached up with the hand that wasn’t clutching the sheet to run her fingers through his hair. “I do believe you. I’m not sure how it happened, but I believe you.”
“And what do you think about me?” He closed his eyes and rolled onto his back. “Did my masculine butt win you over? Or my broad shoulders?”
When he didn’t hear an answer, he opened his eyes and frowned. “Gabby?”
Her smile was wistful. “It was your heart. I loved the way you talked to my mother and did things for her. And the same goes for how you treat your own mom. Nothing about a man can be any sexier than a caring heart.”
For once, he was taken aback. Speechless. Her words touched him deeply. He’d spent so much time beating himself up recently, it was incredibly healing to know that Gabby liked and respected him. “I’m glad you think I qualify,” he said gruffly.
She was on her elbow, still holding the sheet. “I do,” she said quietly. “ Now can we undress you?”
His heart pounded. This entire day...this interminable evening...all the hours adding up to this moment had finally led him here. To Gabby’s bed. He rolled off the mattress and onto his feet. “Whatever the lady wants.”
Removing his tux pants and kicking off his socks was no problem. Having Gabby stare at him when he was down to his boxers made his sex twitch. No man could object to his woman appreciating the show.
“Close your eyes, Gabby,” he said.
Her eyelashes flew wider. “Why?”
“I’m too close to the edge. You looking at me like that is fuel for the fire. I don’t want to come too soon.”
“Okay.” She settled onto her back. Instead of closing her eyes, she squinched them shut. Both her hands were white-knuckled on the edge of the sheet.
His heart thumped hard at his sternum. This woman was the most intriguing mix of confidence and vulnerability. She carried a gut-level innocence that humbled him.
When he lay down beside her, she flinched. “Easy, sweetheart,” he said. “I won’t do anything you don’t like. I promise.”
Now her eyes were open, the pupils dilated. “I believe you.”
This time was for him, though that was probably selfish. It was an unimaginable privilege to stare at her. This was her bed. Her room. Her sanctuary. The space was elegantly feminine. Not frilly at all but filled with soothing colors and tantalizing scents.
Experiencing Gabby in this very personal environment was another layer in knowing her intimately.
He reached beneath the covers and drew her panties down her legs and completely off her feet. Gabby’s ragged sigh as he tossed them aside made him smile. Carefully he reached under the sheet a second time, found her flat belly, and stroked it. Her whole body was tense and braced.
“Relax, Gabby,” he whispered. “Let me touch you.”
Muscle by muscle, he coaxed her into enjoying the moment. It was a careful choice on his part to avoid her sex for now. He needed her to trust him, wanted her to feel uninhibited and free.
Instead, he learned every inch from her throat to her shoulders, rib cage to navel. He kissed her forehead and her eyelids. The little sounds she made pushed him closer to the limits of his control.
When the time was right, he gently tugged the sheet away. Seeing Gabby warm and wanton and naked was a kick to the chest. He was so hard, he ached. When he pressed his cheek to her stomach and kissed her there, his lover’s ragged sigh echoed in his brain.
He slid a hand between her thighs and found her damp and ready for him. Because he wanted this moment to be perfect, he decided to give her first dibs on the orgasms. He didn’t want to disappoint her.
Gabby arched her back with a breathless keening cry when he stroked her in the one spot that centered her pleasure. “I want to watch you,” he said.
His guttural words did something to both of them—it was a big ask so soon in their sexual relationship.
She stared at him with a hazy expression that combined confusion and alarm and need. “Jason, I—”
He repeated the focused caress, and she came apart. He captured her cries in a desperate kiss. “All the way, Gabby. All the way.”
Her climax was a gift to him. He held her close as she trembled in the aftermath. The feel of her in his arms was like finding a path in the darkness. Gratitude and wonder washed over him in equal measure. Against all odds, he had found redemption.
After her breathing stilled, he stroked her hair. The words I love you trembled on his lips. He wanted so badly to say them. Wasn’t this the universe giving him a second chance? Gabby had appeared unexpectedly in his drab world and brought life and depth to his two-dimensional existence.
He had almost forgotten what it felt like to be truly happy.
But he was neither a fool nor an idiot. The woman in his arms was not where he was on this journey. Her life had been just fine before he arrived. Orderly. Productive. Admirable. It was no secret that his Gabby liked to be in control. No surprises. No big changes.
She was attracted to him—he knew that. She even enjoyed his company. But it might not be enough.
Pushing aside the uncomfortable thoughts, he kissed her temple. “That was fun,” he said lightly. His chest was tight, but he had to keep things easy and carefree.
Gabby yawned. “Understatement. You have a gift, Mr. Brightman. I’m impressed.” Her impish grin eased some of his turmoil.
He dragged her closer and let the kiss go deep, his tongue tangling with hers. “I haven’t even showed you my best work yet,” he said, trying to breathe.
When they kissed, it was a connection almost as intimate as sex. Their lips clung. Her tongue urgently dueled with his. She bit his lip and whispered his name until he was almost insane with the need to take her hard and fast.
Without warning, she scooted down in the bed and slid both hands inside his knit boxers. She palmed his butt. “Time for these to go,” she said. The smug satisfaction in her words told him she recognized his shuddering need.
When she pressed a kiss to the head of his sex through the cloth, he cursed, his hips arching off the bed. “No,” he said sharply. “Let me have you.”
She sat up without warning and stared at him, her gaze hot with an emotion more akin to annoyance than passion. “I thought this was an equal exercise. I’m not your little innocent protégé, Jason. I’m a full-grown woman with a few fantasies of my own. Are you threatened by that?”
He put a hand over his face and groaned. “Hell, no. But this is only our third time to...” He waved a hand.
“Fuck?” Her gaze was still pissed.
“Don’t talk like that,” he said, his teeth clenched. “It’s not you.”
Storm clouds gathered in her gray eyes. “Maybe I say the F word twenty times a day. You don’t know me.”
He sat up and faced her. “Yes, I do know you. And my knowing makes you uncomfortable. You don’t like it.”
Silence fell between them. A succession of emotions flitted across her face. Shock. Chagrin. Reluctance. She inhaled sharply and let the breath out slowly. She shot him a look from beneath lowered lashes. “I suppose I don’t. I’m sorry, Jason.”
“Am I really that scary?” he asked. His erection had deflated, which was probably best under the circumstances. The pit of his stomach curled, and not in a good way.
“The truth?”
His stomach tightened further. “Yes, please.”
“You are scary,” she said quietly.
His eyes burned. “Is this because you think I’m a flight risk? That I might hurt you like I did Cate?”
She stared at him for so long he almost climbed out of bed. Just when he was ready to admit defeat and call time of death on this relationship, Gabby shook her head slowly. “No. It’s not that. I think what happened with your and Cate’s wedding probably taught you some valuable lessons about yourself.”
“Then why are you afraid of me?” This time, he was the one to find shelter behind the sheet. He scooted up in the bed and propped his back against the headboard, the covers over his lap.
Gabby copied his posture, her hands twisting. “When you and I were in Blossom Branch, I shared some things with you that even Cate and Leah don’t know.”
“And why was that?”
She chewed her bottom lip, her face pale and haunted. “I thought it would chase you away.”
“But it didn’t.”
Her breath hitched audibly, half sob, half rueful chuckle. “No, it didn’t. You seem to be a particularly stubborn man.”
He reached for one of her hands and twined his fingers with hers. “Only where you’re concerned.” He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers. “If you tell me to leave you alone, I will. But I don’t want to walk away from this. Just so we’re clear. I think you and I might be perfect for each other.”
She closed her eyes, sighed, and dropped her chin to her chest. “No,” she whispered. “We’re not.”
“Why do you believe that, Gabby?”
After uncurling her fingers from his, she rested her elbows on her knees and put her head in her hands. Her voice was muffled when she spoke. “Couples need at least something in common. You and I are too different. You were born with that shiny silver spoon in your mouth, and I—”
She stopped short.
“You’re what?”
“I pinch pennies.” She sat up and stared at him, her eyes shiny with tears. “I worry about the future. I wonder if any of my mother’s mental health issues are hereditary. I’m cautious and not spontaneous. I always count the cost of any endeavor, both literal and emotional. The farthest I’ve ever traveled from Atlanta is Macon for a work conference. Once the sexual fire between you and me burns out, you’ll discover that I’m boring as hell. And although you haven’t brought it up, I don’t even know if I want to have kids.”
He blinked, trying desperately to process the flood of information. “I see.”
“I only wanted to have sex with you, Jason. I’m lonely, and I’ve always liked you. But you keep dangling the prospect of more, and that scares me to death.”
For the first time, he understood the full scope of the obstacles in his way. “Do I?” he asked weakly, struggling for the words to make this better. “Dangle things?”
Gabby shot him a wry look. “You introduced me to your parents.”
He winced. “And my mother is taking you to lunch Monday.”
“Indeed.”
Inwardly he floundered, embarrassed at how badly he had approached this relationship with the woman who had him tied in knots. “I understand what you’re saying. I do. And maybe you’re not wrong. We are very different. But...”
“But what?” The naked yearning on her face gave him a sliver of hope.
“But we could take things slowly. Not the sex, obviously.” His laugh was not filled with humor at all. More like rueful awareness that no matter what happened, he would take whatever crumbs she was willing to give him. “Let me be your lover, my beautiful Gabby. The other...well...”
Her chin lifted. “Well, what?”
He shrugged. “There’s no clock ticking. You have your job and your mom. I have the remodel from hell. In between, let’s be together. We gave ourselves five days, almost six, to think this through. Is sex with me something you want?”
This sweet, gorgeous woman was the queen of awkward pauses. Even now, she didn’t blurt out an answer. She studied his face, her gray eyes pools of mystery. After an eternity, she nodded. “Yes.”
Like a shock to the heart, that single affirmative syllable breathed life into him. Jubilation swelled in his chest, even though he was only now accepting how badly she could hurt him. The end of his wedding plans with Cate had been traumatic. If Gabby decided he wasn’t worth the effort, walking away from her would wreck him.
He swallowed hard. “Good. I feel the same.”
“So we’ll have an affair?”
Anxiety echoed in her question.
“Does anybody really use that word anymore? Well, maybe when it’s a politician and a married woman. But other than that, I think what we do in private is our business only. You can tell people or not tell people. I’ll play this your way, I promise. All that matters is our friendship.”
Finally, a real smile lit her face. “Friends with benefits.”
“Something like that.”
More silence gathered. Like an actor who had forgotten his lines, Jason had no idea how to get off the stage. “I should probably go,” he said, trying to disguise his utter misery at the thought.
Gabby scooted closer, shaking her head. “Don’t go. I swear I won’t squabble with you anymore. I want you, Jason. That’s not going to change anytime soon.” She cupped his cheek in her hand. “You make me laugh. You make me yearn. We may not have forever, but we have now.”
It wasn’t a perfect speech, not to his way of thinking. But he was wise enough to know when it was time to regroup. “Yes, we damn well do,” he said quietly. She had invited him to spend the night. That was huge. Yet he had almost ruined things.
Together, they eased down into the bed, wrestling with covers. Studying each other with sideways glances that were edgy and uncertain.
When they were on their backs, he shucked his boxers the rest of the way and tossed them on the floor. “I have protection,” he said. “If you’re ready.”
She moved half over him, one hand on his chest, her palm covering his heart. “I’m ready.” She smiled sweetly. “But I’d really like to touch you. Is that okay?”
He gulped. “Sure.”
This time, she didn’t move much at all. With her gaze locked on his, she found him beneath the covers and stroked him gently. Her smile was more naughty than sweet. “You have a most impressive body. Even better than in college when I watched you jogging shirtless across the quad.”
His eyebrows shot up. “You watched me?”
“Only freshman year,” she said quickly. “Not when you and Cate started dating. That would have been creepy and gross.”
When her fingers wrapped around his reenergized erection, he gasped, his forehead damp. “Feel free to watch all you want.”
“I think I’ll watch your face instead,” she teased. “To see what you like.”
“I swear, darlin’, if you’re doin’ it, I like it.”
She leaned down and pressed her lips to his. A baby kiss. An innocent kiss. It shouldn’t have revved his motor, but it did. He curled a hand behind her neck and pulled her closer. “Kiss me like you mean it.”
She took him at his word. Having Gabby in his arms, eager and lush, made him ravenous. He pulled her on top of him and took the kiss deeper still. Her body nestled against his perfectly. He ran his hands from her shoulders to her ass, barely able to breathe.
She splayed her hands on his collarbone. “Hurry, Jason.”
“Give me half a sec.” He reached for the bedside table, grabbed a condom packet, and ripped it open. Honestly, he had never reconsidered protection at any point in his life, but for a split second, the image of a pregnant Gabby filled his brain.
Shaking off the disconcerting thought, he took care of business and rolled back to her. “You want to be on top?”
She blushed. “No thanks. Boring, remember?”
He smiled, moving over her and settling between her thighs. “Never.” He held her gaze and held his breath as he entered her slowly. “I’ve thought about this all week.”
“Me, too.” Her breath caught audibly when he surged deeper.
Being inside her felt more perfect and right than anything he had ever experienced. The way she looked at him tightened his chest. His Gabby might think they were too different, but how could she doubt this?
He tried to take things slowly. It was late, though, and he had wondered if this moment would ever happen tonight. The need to come clawed in his gut. “I can’t, I can’t...” he groaned.
Gabby wrapped her legs around his waist. “Don’t hold back. I’ve got you.”
When he came, he lost himself for long, wrenching moments. Gabby’s embrace tethered him, bound him to her whether she wanted it or not.
He knew she hadn’t come this time. How could she in such a rush to the finish line? When he mumbled as much with his face pressed to the curve of her shoulder, she stroked his hair. “We’re one for one. I’m good.”
Sleep claimed him. When he roused eons later and glanced at his watch, it was almost two. Shit. How could he check out with so much at stake?
Gabby was on her side, facing away from him. His body spooned hers. One of his arms had settled loosely beneath her breasts.
He inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of her hair and the fragrance of warm skin and sex. “Gabby?” he whispered, not sure if she was as out of it as he had been.
Immediately she rolled onto her back. “Yes?”
“Have you slept?”
Her smile was heavy-lidded. “Dozed. On and off.”
His eager cock nudged her hip. “Again?”
“Oh, yes...”
This time, he didn’t ask her preference. After donning a second condom, he lifted her on top of him without thinking and thrust wildly. There was a tiny second of uncertainty on his part. Maybe a tendency to freak out. Because, hell, this carnal desperation was wild and agonizing. Unprecedented.
He fucked her with everything he had. Soul, mind, and body. She leaned forward, her fingers gripping his shoulders. Though he loved the way her hair brushed his face, he wanted to see her eyes.
“Sit up,” he croaked.
“Okay.”
He steadied her with his hands on her hips as she did what he asked. But now she was still. Her gaze was guarded.
Inside her, his sex trembled and swelled impossibly more. “Touch your breasts. How you would if you were alone.”
Something flickered in her gaze. But she cupped the creamy mounds of flesh and pressed them together.
“Now the nipples.”
Her jaw dropped. Even in the dim light, he was certain her cheeks turned pink. She used two fingers to bracket her left nipple. It was pert and taut.
“Ah, Gabby...” He touched her where their bodies joined. She gasped, wiggled closer, and then cried out when she hit the peak. He held her through the storm. Then, when her body went lax, he rolled her under him and took her hard and fast until his own climax roared through him like a tornado obliterating everything in its path.
When he could breathe, he shifted to one side, afraid his weight was too much for her. But he rested his cheek on her shoulder and pressed his hand flat on her stomach, as if he could keep her from leaving him.
Gabby sighed. “Good night, Jason.” Her voice was slurred with exhaustion. No wonder. She had probably been up for hours.
“Good night, Gabby.” He reached down and pulled the sheet and blanket and comforter to cover them. His eyes were heavy already when she lifted his hand from her stomach, kissed his fingers, and then rolled to her side away from him.
He pulled her bottom into his groin, shuddered with satisfaction, and let the darkness claim him.