Chapter 23
23
Taylor
W hen the social wraps up, we help the guys pack up, and it’s a little after eight by the time we’re heading back to our place.
But this time, something’s different.
This time, we’re boyfriends.
Brenner Dean is my boyfriend.
And I’m his boyfriend.
That’s fucking wild.
It’s the best feeling, and even better seeing how excited he seemed about it throughout the rest of the social.
On the way to our place, Brenner says, “Glad some girls Sadie’s age ended up showing.”
“I am too. Although, she was having plenty of fun before they got there, which I was happy about. Not sure she’ll go on any of these dates she was bound and determined to get, but if one of them clicks, I imagine her mom will be driving them out to the nearest Applebee’s for a nice Friday evening get-together.”
Bren laughs. “That’s the tragedy of trying to date when you’re that young. Needing your parents to drop you off on dates.”
“You think when we tell our parents, we’re not going to have to go on dates with them?”
He cringes. “Fuck. Don’t spoil all the sexiness of today.”
I laugh. “Just being realistic.”
“Well, stop.”
“Or you’ll do what?”
“Give you another dance lesson.”
“Asshole.”
Bren rests his hand on my thigh. “Is that what you’re gonna give me tonight?”
“Is that what you want tonight? Some ass?” I sneak a glance as he considers it.
“I’m trying to decide if I want to fuck my boyfriend or get fucked by my boyfriend. What does my boyfriend want?”
Between him touching my leg and saying the word, my cheeks flush with heat as desire pulses through me.
“Yeah, that’s right,” he goes on as he slides his hand toward my crotch. “I know what my boyfriend likes when I say it.”
There it is again, and he’s emphasizing it in a way that’s really getting me going. Brenner and this word shouldn’t have this kind of power over me, but it’s so hot, I don’t really give a fuck.
“Oh, you like that a lot .” He grips the stiff erection crimping in my jeans.
Fortunately, we’re around the corner from our place.
He offers another stroke before pulling his hand away, and it’s fucking torture.
“You can just enjoy that feeling until we get in the bedroom.”
I gulp and focus on the road. Feels like an eternity before we get through the main gate of the complex. And as I slide into my parking space, something primal and determined rises within me.
Brenner sports this cocky grin as we get out of the car, clearly loving the way he got me all wound up.
“Maybe we should watch a movie first?” he says as we head through the breezeway and up the stairwell. I shake my head, but he doesn’t let up. “We could order pizza and finish it before the movie.”
I roll my eyes. “How about we bake some brownies? What’s that? Another thirty minutes?”
“Not a bad idea,” he says, and I search around before spinning toward him. I don’t even know what’s come over me, but before I know it, I have him pinned against the wall by our neighbor’s door, my lips smashing against his as I rub this crimping erection against him.
As I pull away, he gasps, and I whisper, “Kissing you now shouldn’t feel any different than all the other times we’ve kissed.”
“No, it shouldn’t,” he says before my mouth is back on his again.
I don’t know what it is—the way he got me all worked up, or because we’re not just fucking around. That he’s my boyfriend.
Brenner Dean is all mine.
I pry my lips from his, searching around the breezeway. “Obviously not gonna fuck you out here.”
He shrugs. “Wouldn’t be the worst thing we could do.”
“No, we’re not doing that,” I say through my teeth. I take his hand and scramble for my keys. When I get him inside, we hurry into my room, and I push him against the wall beside the door, locking lips.
“Someone’s awfully feisty tonight.”
“Someone made me feisty.” I nibble at his bottom lip, tugging before pulling away, our gazes locked.
“Yeah, so what are you gonna do about it?”
I move quickly for another kiss, and we make out as we clumsily make our way to the bed. I strip down, then remove his shirt and pants, so he’s just in his briefs. I hurry to the nightstand to get lube, which Brenner eyes with a strange expression on his face.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Just had the wildest thought. You remember before I came out to Dad, when we had sleepovers in my room?”
I nod.
“Those nights when we were sleeping in the same bed, never even messed around once.”
“We weren’t attracted to each other back then,” I remind him.
“I mean, not like I never thought about it.”
“Perv.”
“You know it,” he says. “We’d sit on the edge of the bed, playing video games with the volume as low as we could so Dad wouldn’t think we were staying up all night.”
“I remember.” I could never forget all the fun we had.
“It’s just wild to think about all those nights we spent together, and that if someone had told me this is where we’d wind up, I woulda told them they were full of shit.”
“Same.”
I reflect on those days when we were just friends having a good time. Laughing a lot. Wanting to hang out as much as possible.
But tonight I want him more than I’ve ever wanted him before.
I want everything he’ll give me, but this time as my boyfriend.
“Have you decided what you want from me tonight?” I tease, and his gaze narrows.
“Working on it. Here, get in.”
He scoots over to make room for me. I slide in beside him, and he moves close, draping his leg and arm over me. His hand gravitates right to my ass.
“That what you want?” I ask.
“Feeling it out.” He gives it a firm squeeze and growls, poking at that fire he’s stirred in me. Then he leans back and slides his hand around to the front, grabbing my shaft and giving a few gentle strokes. “Hard to decide when my boyfriend has the best cock and ass I’ve ever had.”
I roll my eyes. “We both know that’s not true.”
His forehead creases. “Are you kidding me right now? You think you could dick me down into a relationship if that wasn’t true?”
“I think you like me for more reasons than my ass and my dick.”
He shrugs. “Well, two things can be true at the same time. I can like you for those things and because you’re an awesome guy.” He winks, practically glowing after delivering the compliment.
“Someone’s really nailing this boyfriend thing.”
“I know, right? I haven’t even done this shit, and I’m already winning.”
As I laugh, I notice a shift in Brenner’s expression, the broad smile fading quickly as something familiar takes over. Something that reminds me of moments when we were hanging out as kids, something I could see even back then.
“What is it?” I ask.
He starts to say something but stops himself. “Nothing.”
I angle my head, glaring. “It’s clearly not nothing, Bren. Out with it.”
His gaze wanders.
We talked about his mom earlier, so I get why that would flare up from even recalling a time closer to when he lost her. And I just want to be here for him through it.
I wait patiently for him to share before he says, “I was thinking about what it was really like when you would come over, especially if you’d just had to spend time with the Piece of Shit.”
Oh…
A ball of tension constricts in my chest as his words bring back the reality of those nights—both of us struggling with our shit, using video games and jokes to escape the pain.
“Yeah,” I say, reflecting on the bottled-up rage I’d still have in me on those nights.
And now that he’s brought it up, it really feels like we’re back in his bedroom, and I’m carrying the bullshit from having spent the day with my father.
“I remember being so glad when he would let me have sleepovers at your place,” I say. “Like God forbid I spend any more time with Mom, but that was like my sanctuary. You were my sanctuary, Bren.”
“You were mine too. Even before we started discussing it, it was nice being around someone who had his own problems to deal with. It somehow made what I had to carry feel a little more manageable.”
“I know what you mean.” I reach up to him, stroking my knuckles along his cheek. “I don’t know how I would have survived all that if you hadn’t been there.”
“I don’t know that I would have even wanted to survive it if you hadn’t been there.”
I roll toward him and prop myself on my elbow.
“Even before all this,” he says, “feels like it’s always been just you and me against this fucked-up world.”
As his gaze locks with mine, I see all the vulnerability Brenner normally hides from everyone else behind his charm and playfulness. The part of him that’s just a kid still crying for his mom. The part of him he’s scared as fuck is gonna get hurt again.
“It has always been you and me,” I say as I lean into him, taking a kiss.
I grab the back of his head, drawing him closer as I slide my tongue into his mouth, then guide him onto his back, straddling his leg as he hooks his arms around me.
“Taylor,” he whispers as he pulls away from another kiss. “I know what I want.”