The Sunshine Potluck Society

Chapter 26

Joanna was gardening. She hadn’t done it in a while, her knees were already sore. But she’d purchase a special little cushion to kneel on, and it was helping. She dug up a weed and tossed it into the pile. Her gloves were covered in dirt, and it felt good to be out in the late-afternoon air.

The heat of the day had passed. The cool breeze coming in off the water was refreshing. And there were birds swooping and chirping throughout her garden. It was a beautiful day, and she was in a fine mood. Her head was a little dizzy, and there was a feeling in her gut that she should go back inside. But she was ignoring it for now.

“Good afternoon,” Chris said.

He stopped at the end of her driveway and smiled at her. He wore a pair of shorts and a collared shirt, with a cap that covered his grey hair and made it poke out in curls in the back. The look suited him.

“Hi there,” she said, getting to her feet. She brushed the dirt off her gloves, then pulled them off and laid them in the grass. “Going for a walk?”

He nodded. “It’s the perfect time of day for it. Care to join me?”

She glanced at the house. She wanted to go back inside. But his invitation was tempting. Could she manage a walk on the beach? It was what she’d hoped for. She’d longed to feel well enough to do it for years. And she was doing so much better. Maybe the time was right.

“I suppose I could give it a try.” She walked to the end of the driveway. Her stomach formed into a knot as she stepped out onto the footpath.

“We can come back anytime you like,” he said, and he fell into step beside her.

They walked side by side in silence for a while. Then they crossed the road to get to the beach. She slipped her shoes off at the beach entrance, and they trudged through the soft sand and between the dunes, down to the hard-packed damp sand by the water’s edge. All the while, she fought her anxiety to keep it at bay.

Chris was quiet; he seemed deep in thought. Every now and then, he glanced her way.

“Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” he asked.

“Okay.”

“Do you know why it’s so hard for you to go outside? When we spoke about it a few weeks back, you mentioned that the loss of your husband and the restaurant were hard for you. But I suppose I was curious to find a connection. It’s not my business, though, so it’s fine if you’d rather not answer.”

She inhaled a slow breath. “It’s called agoraphobia. It’s been pretty terrible now for about ten years, but lately I’ve been improving. I’m in therapy, and I think having Aaron move in has helped as well.”

“I’ve noticed you seem to be tackling more outings.”

“You know I lost my husband, but what I only hinted at previously is that without him, the restaurant wasn’t going to make it. I was a chef, not a manager. I couldn’t cope with managing the staff, the books, the suppliers. I’d always had Ron to take care of those things. He was the businessperson, and I was the creative one.”

“I can see that. He was a good guy. We knew each other from school. And of course, we were both members of the Rotary Club.”

“That’s right. I remember those meetings. He loved all of that. And you’re right, he was the best,” Joanna replied, recalling him fondly.

She didn’t get upset when she talked about him anymore. But for years, she hadn’t been able to say his name without bursting into tears. “He was my rock. And honestly, the only reason I enjoyed working at the restaurant and cooking was for him. When we had children, I didn’t work at the restaurant nearly as much. He hired another chef, and I filled in when he needed me to. But then the children grew up, and I went back to full-time. We were a great team. I loved the restaurant, the food, the people, being with Ron all day every day. It was the best time of my life.”

“It’s a real blessing to have that kind of marriage and partnership,” Chris said.

A flock of seagulls lifted into the air around them, cawing as they rose on the breeze.

“I was very blessed. But then he died, all of a sudden. I wasn’t expecting it and hadn’t prepared myself for the possibility. After all, he was only mid-fifties. I couldn’t believe it. We were so young. And then he was gone. The restaurant became a huge stone around my neck—I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything other than run the place. It took up every waking moment. And before long, it was losing money. A lot of money.”

Waves crashed to shore. The hushing of the water as it frothed close to their feet was comforting. She felt her anxiety fading.

“I was worried I would lose the place. I started looking for buyers. And then there was a fire. I was at the restaurant late at night, alone. I fell asleep at my desk in a pile of paperwork, and sometime during the night, the smoke set off the alarms. I woke up, completely disoriented and confused.”

“Wow, that’s horrible.”

“It was. I was so scared. I tried to get out of my office, but a beam fell to the ground and pinned me down. I could feel and see the entire restaurant burning down around me. The smoke was so thick. I panicked. I couldn’t get out, and yet I knew if I didn’t that I’d die.”

“I had no idea. I knew there’d been a fire, but I didn’t realise you were in it. I was away at the time, visiting family.”

“I don’t talk about it much. Anyway, someone called the fire department, and they pulled me out of there. I was in the hospital for weeks. Karen did her best but she was busy with her own family. Gwen and Debbie were so great—they cared for me. But when I was back at home and I’d fully recovered, they all went back to living their lives, and that’s when the nightmares started. At first, I didn’t really go anywhere because I wasn’t well enough, but after a while, it was because I didn’t want to, and then it became almost impossible. I’d have panic attacks and flashbacks.”

“I’m sorry that happened. You must’ve been really traumatised by it.”

“Some people would’ve managed it better, I know. And I used to beat myself up about that. But I’ve come to accept it. This is how my mind coped with the trauma of losing Ron and the fire. And after that, the legal issues with the insurance company who claimed I’d set fire to the restaurant because it was in financial trouble.” She sighed. “I didn’t open up about it with anyone for a while. Karen didn’t realise I was going through all of that and she moved away. But hiding it only made it worse for me.”

“That’s a lot for anyone to deal with,” he said.

“Thank you. I’m so grateful for all the help I’ve received, and Emily has truly been a godsend. She’s helped so much in recent years. And it’s made all the difference in my recovery. I really believe that.”

“You didn’t give up on yourself or on getting better. I think that’s been a big part of it too,” he said. “And look at you now — taking a walk on the beach. I think you should be proud of yourself.”

“I am,” she said. “Thank you for encouraging me to join you. It’s a big step for me.”

“How is Emily?” Chris asked. “Is she coping with having Aaron live there?”

Joanna smiled. “I think she’s enjoying it as much as I am.”

“Oh, really?” He grinned. “They would make a good match.”

“I think so too. Although I hate it when things change. I think the two of them would be very good for one another. I love my grandson, and he couldn’t find a nicer, sweeter girl than Emily. She’s a beautiful soul and never has a cross word for anyone.”

“If that’s true, then I hope they can make it work. Because there’s nothing better in all the world than finding that person who makes your heart sing.”

Joanna laughed. “Christopher Hampton, I had no idea you were such a romantic and a poet!”

He winked. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

“Colour me intrigued.”

“I guess you’ll just have to find out the old-fashioned way.”

Joanna dipped her head to hide her smile. She was flirting, and she thought perhaps he was as well. It’d been a long time since she’d had any inclination to do that. And it felt good.