The Sweetest Taboo (A Modern Vintage Romance)

Chapter 12

Ichecked my email and was relieved to see that I was indeed booked on a flight from Billings to Heathrow via Dallas. It was business class all the way. A goodbye present from the Ledgers, no doubt. I didn”t have the energy to fight it.

What had happened last night, and this morning, had left me completely broken.

I took my sneakers off, and crawled into bed and let it all go. I knew from experience that I was still in shock. Still reeling from everything. Still experiencing heartbreak.

I didn”t trust people easily but for some unfathomable reason, I trusted Ace. He made advances at me, but then everyone did. However, once I told him I didn”t do casual and had never had sex, he respected that. We became friends.

I was always working, so when he offered a fully paid vacation, I couldn”t resist. The thrill of seeing something new was irresistible. I didn’t discover Ace’s plan until we arrived in Montana. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have played along. I never imagined he would humiliate me as he did, nor did I expect to meet and fall for his brother.

I fell asleep and woke up feeling discombobulated when there was an incessant knocking on the door.

”Who is it?” I asked blearily.

”Rowan.”

I unsteadily walked the few feet to the door. It was a small hotel room. There was a queen-size bed, a desk, some sort of armchair, and that was about it.

I opened the door. ”Did I forget something?”

He walked past me into the room. I closed the door and looked at him as he stood by the window, which was right above the noisy AC unit that wasn”t doing a great job of cooling the room.

I left him to his silence and went into the bathroom. I took a quick shower and hoped that he was gone by the time I came out. I didn”t have the strength to deal with Rowan. I just wanted to go home and forget these past few weeks ever happened. I”d be fine, eventually, I knew that. I”d recovered from worse.

He was sitting on the bed when I came out in a t-shirt and pajama shorts that I”d set aside to sleep in for the night. I couldn”t stomach food, so I wasn”t thinking about getting anything to eat. I just wanted to get on that flight.

”What do you want?” I asked, leaning against the open door of the still-steamy bathroom.

”I don”t know.”

”I thought you went back to the ranch.”

”I drove for an hour, and then drove back.”

”And you don”t know why?”

He looked at me and shook his head.

”Well, I”m sure there are other rooms in this hotel. You should get one and get some sleep, which is what I intend to do.”

I wanted to walk to the bed and get in, but I didn”t want to be close to Rowan. He made me weak, and right now, I needed to be strong and hold myself together until I could be with Yasmine. Then I could fall apart.

He came to me, and I flinched as he got closer. I looked away from him, not wanting to see whatever was playing on his face.

”You look like a child,” he whispered. ”All fresh-faced and…innocent.”

”We both know I”m not.” I still didn”t look at him.

He held my chin with his hand and turned my face to him. ”You know why I didn”t fuck you last night?”

I didn”t respond. I thought what we did felt a lot like making love, but then again, what did I know? These were the big leagues, and I was just a daft idiot from London who didn”t know her head from her arse.

”I didn”t want to fuck my brother”s girlfriend.”

”I told you—”

”But you”re not his anymore,” he continued as if I hadn”t spoken.

”So, you”re here for a goodbye fuck? Is that it?” I hated that I still wanted him. Hated that I was happy he was here so I could say goodbye.

”Yes.”

It shouldn”t hurt, but it did. I”d fallen in love, but what did he feel? Just lust?

He kissed me then, slowly, languidly, as if we had all the time in the world. A sound escaped me, a moan, when his lips slammed against mine. His tongue penetrated my mouth. He sucked my bottom lip, bit gently. My mouth moved to find his, wanting, wanting, wanting.

”Yes,” he murmured as he brushed his lips against mine.

My breath escaped when he once again bit my lower lip, this time harder.

”More?” he asked.

”Yes.”

”I love that you want me, love that your mouth seeks mine. Love that when I kiss you, your body trembles.”

I eased my fingers into his hair and pulled his mouth down to mine. I kissed him this time. Licked his lips, dipped into his mouth, closed my teeth against his jaw, his lips. I wanted to consume him whole.

I could feel his heartbeat against my hands, a staccato rhythm that matched our arousal, our excitement. The thought of making love with Rowan was like a fire inside me.

He raised his mouth, and I moaned, ”No.”

”You want more?”

”Yes.”

”You want me to kiss you?”

”Rowan….”

He chuckled and nuzzled my nose with his. ”How do you want me to kiss you?” He softly brushed his lips on mine. ”Is this good?”

”Good,” I breathed.

”Or do you want it like this?” He lingered over my mouth; licking, kissing.

”I like that, too.”

”But you like this best, don”t you? When I”m inside you?”

I pulled him close when his tongue slid into my mouth. I whimpered as the kiss deepened. We were only kissing, and yet it felt like we were making love. My breath broke. He stroked my mouth with his tongue, and his hips moved against mine in a beat as old as time.

This wasn”t merely a kiss. It was everything.

My hands clenched in his hair, desperate for the contact.

”God,” he murmured. ”Kissing you is more erotic than fucking another woman.”

He rested his forehead against mine.

”I”m just about ready to come in my pants, darlin”.”

He moved us, lowering me onto the bed. He stretched out next to me, still in jeans, a T-shirt, and boots. I was still fully clothed as well, and yet this was so intimate. He touched my face with a finger, running it over my lips.

”I”ve never seen anyone as beautiful as you in my life.”

Men had said things like this to me before, but I”d never believed them. But when I looked into Rowan”s eyes, I believed him. I kissed his fingers, and when he held one between my lips, I let him in and sucked as he watched.

”Last night, you gave me the best head I”ve ever had.”

I let go of his finger. ”Really?”

”Yes, really. Why do you always ask for confirmation?”

I swallowed. He noticed. Few did. ”I just have trouble believing anything good that”s said about me.”

He stroked a finger down my throat to the valley between my breasts. He circled a nipple through my T-shirt, and it swelled. Then he did the same to the other breast.

”You”re very sensual—and don”t ask, really? You are. I barely have to touch you, and you”re aroused.”

”It”s never happened before.”

I wanted him to believe me, but the way he looked at me, I wasn”t sure he did.

”I want to make love with you. Will you give me tonight?” he asked me gently, sincerely.

”Yes, Rowan, I”ll give you tonight.”