The Sweetest Taboo (A Modern Vintage Romance)

Chapter 19

”You want to tell me what Rowan was doing at your place?” Mick asked me the day after Rowan had come over, while we were getting ready to go to Mick”s Pub for Family Hour.

The bar was a local hangout, and during Family Hour, kids in the neighborhood made a nuisance of themselves at the bar, which Mick loved, but pretended to tolerate. Once a month, for three hours on a Saturday afternoon, the bar transformed. It offered live music tailored for children, storytelling sessions, and child-friendly finger foods, creating a vibrant and inclusive atmosphere.

”He came to apologize for how he treated me.”

Mick had asked me once why I didn”t date, and I”d told him I was busy with a baby, but after I got to know him better, I told him about my summer in Montana after I drank a good part of a bottle of wine.

Since Rowan, I”d been gun shy. I didn”t want to be an arse again. And by the time I was even remotely ready, Yas was gone, and I became a mum. Right now, if I had time to shave my legs, it was a big day. I didn”t even have the time or inclination to use my vibrator. I was always so tired. Maybe once Flora was older, and I had time and money to breathe, I could download some of those apps on my phone and swipe right or left, or whatever, to find the man of my dreams.

”So, he bumps into you at Luisa”s place and comes right over. But he never bothered to look for you for six years?”

”Nope.”

”What a fucking prince.”

I laughed, though it wasn”t funny. I had waited for Rowan to find me and apologize. I had waited for Ace to do the same. After there was no response to my letters, I gave up.

That I was shocked when I saw Rowan was an understatement. And then, when he apologized, I was all but ready to ask him if he was taken over by the pod people, because the Rowan I knew wasn”t big on contrition.

”Whatever. Does it matter, Mick? It”s not like he”s in my life.”

”Mum, I”m ready.” Flora wore one of the new dresses Renata had given her. A pink one with small white flowers. She twirled in our living room.

Mick whistled. ”You look like a princess.”

She grinned. ”Can we go now?”

”Let me find my wallet.” I sighed when there was a loud knock on the door. I opened it and found a repeat of yesterday. Rowan stood there, a wrapped gift in his hand.

”Hi.”

I raised my eyebrows. ”You lost? Or were you just in the neighborhood?”

He smiled. ”I want to talk to you.”

”You already talked yesterday, pal,” Mick called out.

”Rowan, hi.” Flora, too young to feel the tension in any room, ran up to him. ”I have a new dress.”

”And you look absolutely gorgeous.” He crouched in front of her, and my breath caught. How many times had I dreamed of Rowan being the father of my children? Way too many times, because I was a blooming idiot.

”I have a present for you.” He looked at me, realizing he hadn”t checked with me and when I nodded, he added. ”It”s a book.”

”For me? Really?” Flora”s eyes went wide. She wrapped her arms around Rowan”s neck and kissed him on his cheek. Hell! She thinks he”s a friend, and since she kisses Mick, she thinks she can kiss Rowan. Bollocks!

”Thank you,” Flora said prettily and ran to Mick. ”Uncle Mick, I have a book.”

”I see that.”

”Can we read it together?” she suggested conspiratorially.

”Why don”t we take it with us to the pub, yeah? We can open it there. Maybe we can get Sharon to read it for story time?” Mick looked from Rowan to me, and I mouthed, thank you.

”Mum?” Flora was excited.

”Sure. I”ll join you in a little bit.”

After a flurry of hugs and kisses, and Mick warning Rowan to behave, I let Rowan into my condo…again.

I didn”t sit or ask him to.

”It”s Family Hour at Mick”s Pub.”

He nodded. ”I”m sorry. I…it”s Saturday, so I thought you”d be home. Rather, I hoped you”d be home.”

”What do you want, Rowan?”

He pulled out an envelope from his pocket. ”Please, don’t be angry. I talked to Ace, and he told me you sent the money…the money that I—”

”Threw on the bed where we”d just had sex and you called me a whore?” I crossed my arms. He didn”t have a right to be here and bring all those painful memories back. I was over them. It was in the past. I had a child now. I had so much to look forward to.

”This is a check for the amount you sent. I can”t allow you to—”

”I don”t need the money, Rowan. I have a job now. I own this house. I”m doing well.”

”Please, it”s—”

”No.”

He stuffed the envelope back in his pocket, this time crumpled. ”He told me about the letter.”

”Okay. Look, it”s getting late, and Flora—”

”Please, Isha.”

He wasn”t the man who begged, so, the fact he did made me melt. Bugger it!

I gestured to the sofa, and we sat down as we had the previous night.

”Ace told me he lied. That he was jealous of me. I didn”t know. I…didn”t want to believe you over my family. But in my heart, I knew you were telling the truth about everything.”

”We already hashed this out yesterday, Rowan.” I wanted him gone before I fell apart and he could see how much he meant to me. How much him being here made my heart soar and…to its detriment, hope.

”I freaked out when you said you loved me,” he continued, and my heart hammered in my chest. Why would he bring that up? Goddamn it!

”Look, I don”t need excuses or explanations. It was years ago and—”

”Because I”d fallen in love with you as well,” he continued like I hadn”t just ranted about him shutting up.

I froze. I watched his blue eyes…they were calm, clear.

”Good for you,” I finally said. Mr. Rowan Ledger, there”s no way that you”re going to screw me over this time. No way I”ll let you.

”Isha, how I feel about you hasn”t changed.”

I let out a laugh. Not hysterical, but close. ”Bloody hell, what do you want, Rowan? Did you come here thinking I was available pussy? You”re a good looking man with pots of money; just walk down Fifth Avenue, and women will throw themselves at you. And you can fuck any or all of them.”

”I—”

”You see me by accident and decide, hey, now”s a good time to tell the lassie that I love her. Are you out of your bleeding mind?” I didn”t raise my voice. I didn”t want to. I wouldn”t let this man affect me ever again. I”d made that promise to myself, and I was going to keep it.

”I never got over you.”

”Oh, poor baby,” I muttered sarcastically. ”I”m not bloody interested. Or…my God, is that why you brought me the money? You think I”d have sex with you for money?”

He paled when I said that. But it was an honest thought. One caused by him and not because I had a twisted mind. Between him and his brother, they”d taken away so much of my faith in people that I”d never gotten it back.

”I”m sorry you think that. I”m sorry that my past behavior gives you reason to think that.”

”Look, you”ve apologized enough. I forgive you. I forgive your brother. I forgive everyone. Can you please leave me alone?” I rose and pulled my phone out of my shorts when it beeped.

It was Mick: Heads up, Arturo is coming to your place in two minutes.

It was less than that because there was a loud banging knock on the door as soon as I finished reading Mick”s warning.

I opened the door and nodded at Arturo. He walked in and gave Rowan the once over.

”You done with the dude?” he asked me, though he was looking at the dude.

”Yes.”

”No,” Rowan remarked.

”She says she”s done. So, you”re done.” Arturo was six-five, two hundred twenty pounds of muscle. He was a pediatrician at New York Presbyterian and was the sweetest man I knew. He wouldn’t know how to fuck anyone up if it came to that. But he was big and looked scary, and he took advantage of that if you didn”t know him.

”It”s obvious you all care for Isha, and I”m very happy to see that. I care about her and—”

”No, you don”t, fucker.” Arturo walked up to Rowan and towered over him by four inches. ”You think we don”t know what you and your brother did? We do. And we don’t like it. We don”t like you.”

”I know. I fucked up. He fucked up. Doesn”t change how I feel about Isha.”

Arturo leaned down and smirked. ”Maybe. But it changed how she feels about you. And your feelings don”t count for shit, pal.”

”I”m trying to make it right.” Rowan didn”t back down a millimeter.

”Arturo, cut it out.” I rolled my eyes. ”And you too, Rowan. What is wrong with you? You show up after six years and want to…what? You think we”re going to hold hands and walk into the sunset together?”

”Why not?” Rowan demanded.

”This guy has some brass balls on him,” Arturo announced. ”You called Isha a hooker…actually, you said she wasn”t even good enough to be a mistress.”

”I can”t believe I told you all of that.” I looked at Rowan. ”In my defense, I was exhausted and had a few too many glasses of wine, which they made me drink. Flora was sick for the first time. I was vulnerable. Arturo is a pediatrician, so he and Mick were helping.”

Rowan smiled sadly then. ”I fucked up, Isha. Nothing to hide there. And you can talk about your business with anyone; I wish you”d also talk to me about it.”

”I just want you to know that I don”t go about telling my life story to everyone. Art, can we go now?” I was just about ready to lose my mind.

Arturo looked at Rowan for a long moment. ”How good are you at darts?”

”Arturo,” I cried out.

”I work on a ranch, so I spend a good amount of my down time in bars that have dart boards.”

”You beat me at darts and maybe we give you permission to talk to Isha.”

”Bugger it. I”m out of here. Arturo, lock up after you get rid of Rowan.”