The Sweetest Taboo (A Modern Vintage Romance)

Chapter 32

He held my hand as we walked down a paved path that was lit with small lights. It had been cleared of snow. In the night, Rowan”s ranch looked like a winter wonderland. The moon, a slender crescent, hung low, casting a silver glow that reflected off the glittering white, giving everything an otherworldly light. I was wrapped up in a big coat, hat, scarf, and boots.

”Where are you taking me?” I asked.

”It”s a surprise,” he said enigmatically.

”Remember when you took me to that lake?”

”Fuck yeah. You were naked, and I had a hard time keeping my hands off you. Hard being the operative word.” He dropped a kiss on my mouth.

Suddenly, we came to a stop. Before us lay a pool of water, a steaming oasis amidst the snow”s embrace. There were lights inside the small pond, making it glow in the dark.

”What”s this?”

”A hot spring.”

”Was it here last time?”

”Yeah. But not usable. We added the stones, the lights and the steps recently. I thought it would be nice to bring you and Flora here in the winter.”

”How recently?”

He grinned. ”Since you said you”d come to Montana.”

I walked closer to the water. The contrast was startling—the heat from the water hit my face, and I could see the steam dancing upward, merging with the chilly night air. Rowan turned to me, his eyes gleaming with the reflection of the water, a silent invitation.

”You like it.” His voice was low, almost blending into the night.

”It”s very tempting,” I murmured.

”Want to swim?”

I chuckled, remembering the last time we”d done this. I caught my lower lip between my teeth. ”But I don”t have a swimsuit.”

He remembered as well. ”I was hoping this time I could make love with you like I”d wanted to last time.”

We shed our clothes, leaving them on a bench. The cold air kissed my skin, making me shiver with anticipation. When we finally slipped into the water, the warmth enveloped me like a long-awaited embrace. It was a profound relief, a sensation so intense that I let out a sigh, watching my breath disappear into the night.

Above us, the stars blinked, as if the sky was lit up to watch over us. The beauty of it all—the steam rising into the frosty night, the stars, the snow, and the warmth of the water—felt like a dream. Rowan”s presence beside me, silent and steady, made it even more compelling.

”There”s nothing quite like this,” I finally spoke, my voice a whisper against the vastness of the night.

Rowan smiled, his gaze following mine to the heavens, and then back to me. ”You”re right,” he agreed.

At that moment, wrapped in the warmth of the hot springs, with the chilly night air brushing against my cheeks, I felt a connection to the world around me, to Rowan, to the very essence of life itself. It was a moment of profound peace and beauty, a memory etched into my heart, as timeless as the Montana sky.

”Hot springs are good for your skin, they say.”

”Do they?” I kissed his chest and licked his nipples.

He groaned softly. ”I”m always so hard for you. Like a fucking teenager.”

I stroked my hand down from his chest to his cock. I pumped slowly, and he closed his eyes, his hands tight on my waist, as if he were holding on for support.

”Don”t stop, baby. God, don”t stop.”

As I pumped his cock, I moved closer, rubbing my breasts against his skin. He kissed me then, softly at first, and then harder as he got more aroused.

”Wrap your legs around me,” he demanded.

And I floated up, complying. He snapped his hips, and was inside me. We both shuddered at that feeling of wholeness, of completion, of homecoming.

He thrust in and out, using the water to buoy his movements.

”You feel so good, Isha. So, fucking good. I can”t get enough.”

I couldn”t focus on his words. His movements were jerky, and my cries filled the silent night. I didn”t care if there was anyone around who saw us or if someone heard us. It didn”t matter. There was just Rowan and me.

After, he had another surprise in store, a sauna right next to the hot springs. Getting inside after being in the biting cold was heaven. I sat down on a bench, feeling luxuriously warm.

The outer room of the sauna had towels, and he brought them in as he did our clothes so they could get dry since we”d left them outside.

”This is new as well?”

”Yeah. I wanted to give you this experience. Give you…make it good for you. Show you Montana the way I should”ve last time.”

I leaned my head on his shoulder, and he draped an arm around me.

”You showed me Montana last time. It was wonderful.”

”Until I fucked up?”

”I don”t want to keep going to that part of our past,” I told him seriously. ”There were good times, like swimming in the lake, going for a walk, a hike. You taught me how to ride a horse. You gave me my first orgasm with a man.”

”All your firsts with a man,” he growled.

”True.”

”You regret it? That first time with me?”

I nuzzled his shoulder. ”No.”

He looked down at me, forcing me to look at him. ”You don”t? You don”t wish you”d never set eyes on me?”

I shook my head. ”I treasured it. Made me feel pathetic, but I cherished that night. Yas said that love was blind, deaf, and sometimes stupid; and that it was okay for me to love you. She”s the one who told me to write to you and Ace, and close the chapter. I was just going to send the money back with a post-it note saying, ‘fuck you’.”

He chuckled. ”I wish I”d been able to meet your Yasmine. I have a lot to thank her for. Being your family, giving us Flora….”

The way he always kept my daughter in mind was heartwarming. He was already thinking of Flora as his; I knew that. I”d seen it. He never suggested that she not be around when he came over. He wanted her with us. He”d insisted that we take her on some of our Sunday dates when she wasn”t seeing her grandparents.

”If we don”t work out, it”ll hurt Flora.”

”We”ll work out.”

”How are you so sure?”

”Because I”m not giving up. You don”t understand, Isha. After seeing the shitshow my father and Deb”s marriage was, I promised myself that I would not fuck my life up like that.” He stroked my back as he spoke.

”And now?” I really, really wanted him to say he wanted to fuck his life up. But I didn”t want to hope, even though he insinuated how he wanted Flora and me in his life. Because if he was just playing—and I wasn”t sure why he would be—it would destroy me.

”Now? I want everything with you and Flora. Every fucking thing. You”re the first and only woman I”ve ever loved. Last time, it was love, lust, and infatuation. Now that I know you, I love you more, not less.”

”I love you more, too,” I admitted.

”Yeah? Baby, why don”t—”

”I need time,” I blurted, not wanting to hear what he would say. If he was accepting me as a life partner, I wasn”t ready for that; if he was rejecting me…well, I wasn”t ready for that, either. ”I grew up without people…my people. I”m not used to relying on anyone. It”s always just been me and Yas. And now I have Flora.”

”You have Mick and Arturo, Sal and Bea. And you have me.”

”If Mick and Art disappointed me, left me, it would hurt, but I”d survive it. Sal and Bea…well, I”m fond of them and feel responsible for them, but…when they pass, I”ll be fine. But you….” I couldn”t say the words; I just couldn”t.

”If I left, it would hurt?”

”I survived the last time. I was young. I was…it was different. Now….”

His hold on me tightened. ”Now we”re closer. Isha, losing you would fucking kill me. And that”s not hyperbole.”

”How do you think I feel? I don”t know why I can”t just…I don”t know why I”m not ready. I don”t know what I”m waiting for.”

”There”s no rush. We have all the time in the world. Just don”t send me away, and we”ll work through this, and anything and everything else that comes our way.”

”And you”ll keep coming to New York?”

”I”ll come to wherever you and Flora are.”