The Trouble with Anna

Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33

J ULIAN ARRANGED TO TAKE ANNA for a drive that week, not out on the Promenade at the fashionable hour but on Hampstead Heath at the preposterous time of ten in the morning, when they could let the horses have their heads. He pulled up in his new phaeton, enameled glossy black except for the cherry-red spokes of its enormous wheels, with a high-spirited pair of matched grays between the traces.

But for once it wasn’t the horses that caught Anna’s attention. Julian held the reins loosely, his greatcoat flung over his shoulders, and the black wool of his jacket clinging to his chest and powerful arms. The sun lit up his face, bronzing his jaw and the planes of his cheeks, and painting streaks of gold in his hair.

“Dear god ,” said Anna. She staggered backward from her perch by the window, feeling quite drunk.

“Ooh! Are the Royal Hussars marching by?” Charlotte, up early for once, dashed over. “I do love it when men prance around in their regimentals.” Her face fell when she saw her brother out the window. “Oh, for heaven’s sake!” she said with disgust.

Anna yanked herself away from the window and crammed on her hat. “I’d better not keep him waiting.”

She was out of the room and on the street before Charlotte could say anything else, though Anna challenged any woman not related to him to remain unmoved at the sight of Julian rolling up to her door in a sporting carriage. Swooning seemed quite a reasonable response.

“Good morning,” called Julian.

“Good morning.” Anna took his hand and hopped up onto the high seat, quick as a monkey. “May I drive, please?”

He stifled a laugh. “I’m shocked you managed to greet me before asking.”

“Of course I greeted you. You’re the best of all Julians! Now, hand me the reins.”

He shook his head, but there was a smile lurking at the corners of his lips. “No one handles the grays but me.”

“Oh dear, I can see the dilemma. You’re afraid I’ll drive them better than you?”

Julian laughed. “I can see you’re determined to have my pride as well as my h—” He fumbled to a stop, reddening.

Anna’s heart beat faster. “What did you say?”

“I said you’re determined to have my pride as well as my hands. All over you.” He clicked the horses into a brisk trot.

Anna studied him from under the brim of her hat. It wasn’t lost on her how little he liked to talk about anything serious—such as the deeply fascinating topic of how he felt about her, for instance. She also saw how good he was at changing the subject when she tried to poke or prod. But understanding him felt more urgent every day. “That’s not what you were about to—”

“You’re confident you can handle the reins in London traffic?”

All thought fled Anna’s brain. “There’s an excellent way to find out.”

“If you’ve never driven in the city, you should—”

“Oh, just hand me the reins!”

Julian’s lips twitched, but he did. Anna flicked the whip and caught it, just to show how well she could, and he laughed outright and tipped his hat.

Oh, dash it! she thought several minutes later, the pair trotting neatly out in front of her. Had she let the dratted man distract her again? He took such glee in ferreting out all her secrets, yet he shared so few of his own.

“Julian, how old were you when your father died?”

“Must we talk about my father on a glorious day like this? I’d much rather talk about your excellent driving. All the other earls will be jealous.”

“It’s just that you must have been quite young to carry all that responsibility. Were you seventeen when you became the earl?”

He sighed. “I was fifteen.”

“Did you have someone to help you with the estate?”

“Mmm.”

It was more sound than answer, but Anna persisted. “I suppose you had your Gran to confide in.”

“Gran was busy with Charlotte.”

She frowned. “But Charlotte’s mother was there. Surely she saw to—”

“It’s old history, Anna,” he said curtly. “Leave it.”

“All right.” Anna’s voice was small, but her mind whirred.

It felt as if they were building something big and solid together, but how could it stand if there was a whacking great hole in the middle? Except—Anna frowned—towers were hollow and they stood perfectly well. Also domes. Oh, dash it again! She knew even less about architecture than she did about romance, but she did know that Julian kept a big part of himself separate.

It seemed so terribly lonely, for both of them.

Anna took a deep breath to steady herself. The sun was shining and the length of his leg pressed against hers, warm and solid.

Trust takes time , she reminded herself. They were like two hedgehogs trying to find a way to fit together without poking the other to pieces.

“Oh, look! The road’s clear!” Anna shook the reins and the horses broke into a canter. She let the blue sky and the wind blow all misgivings from her head.