Chapter 8
“Are you going to be a good little mouse and scream for me?”
Make it stop.
“I was going to make this sweet for you. But now I don’t really care.”
Please stop.
“Oh, you’re so pretty when you beg.”
His dark eyes bore into mine, deviant and filled with evil intent. He moves closer, suffocating me with his proximity. I try to scream, but it’s empty. I cry out, but it’s a pathetic whimper. There’s nowhere to escape, nowhere to hide. I’m trapped; a mouse, just like he said.
Until another set of eyes meet mine, the barrel of a gun shimmering before me and relief gleaming in my rescuer’s eyes.
My body jolts and I shoot upright, my breaths filling the room like I’ve been holding them in for minutes. Sweaty strands of hair cling to my face while my body shivers with the temperature change. My ribs ache from where I must have been thrashing about. It’s going to take some time for them to heal, but it doesn’t matter. It’s the scars on the inside I’m afraid of.
The room I’m in is still dark, though I can see the prospect of day shining through the curtains. I take a deep breath, shaking the bad dreams from my head. I refuse to let Luciano beat me. I refuse to let him haunt me. I’m stronger than that; I know I am.
So why is it so hard to shake the trauma?
Turning to my right, Luca is sound asleep beside me. The other side of my bed is empty, but the scent of Levi’s aftershave is still fresh on the pillows. I know he won’t be far; he never is. Knowing these guys haven’t left my side fills me with so much adoration for them. Not only are they taking care of me, but they’re probably handling the businesses in my absence. As soon as I’m feeling one hundred percent, I’m going to personally thank them for everything they’ve done for me.
I let out a sigh and slip out of bed slowly. My back still stings from Luciano’s blade, and I know his mark will stay there. The only relief I can take away from that is the fact I don’t have to look at it.
As soon as I make it to the bathroom, I get a good look at the damage on my face. I have a black eye and a busted lip. The rest of my body isn’t much better, either—my back is still covered by a large bandage, my ribs feel like they creak every time I breathe, and as I gape at my reflection, I realize there are going to be a lot more scars than just the ones on my soul. I run my fingers over the dressing on my cheek, shuddering as I remember the way the blade sank into my flesh and sliced through it. I remember the taste of blood that coated my tongue, the cries I tried to suffocate with false bravado.
My fingers itch to rip off the bandage just so I can gaze upon the damage, but then my courage slips away like the tear that escapes my eye.
“You don’t have to be brave for us, Dolcezza.”
My gaze shoots to meet Luca’s in the mirror, his eyes soft with sadness and guilt. I recognize that look so well, and it only makes my heart clench tighter in my chest.
“What’s another scar, right?” I sniffle, spinning around to face him and forcing a brave face.
He steps forward slowly, like he’s approaching a skittish animal, but I don’t flinch away. I crave his comfort. I pine for his proximity. Luca is the shadow I need to pull me out of the darkness.
Stroking his knuckles along my cheek, I watch the muscle in his jaw feather. “I failed you,” he rasps, his tone weighted with self-hatred.
“No. Gio did,” I whisper, leaning into his touch. “There’s nothing you could have done to prevent this.”
Luca closes his eyes. I can tell he’s biting his tongue, fighting whatever words he wants to say. And somehow, I think I know exactly what he’s thinking—but I’m not prepared to address it yet. I just need him; his comfort, his storm, his anger, his control.
I push up on my toes, snaking my arms around his neck before pressing my lips to his. I mask the pain in my recovering shoulder by losing myself in his kiss. It’s soft and careful, a contradiction to Luca’s personality. It’s like our first kiss; so delicate and uncertain, and not what I need.
I press against his hard body, his arms coming to wrap around my waist as I deepen our kiss. His tongue finds mine, sliding and twining carefully until his urgency takes over and our kiss turns hungry and insatiable. A moan escapes me. It feels like so long has passed since I felt a connection with my guys, and it’s so overwhelming that another tear slips free, rolling down my cheek and soaking into the dressing.
Suddenly, Luca pulls away, his brow furrowing as he stares intently at me. He swipes his thumb under my eye, his gaze never leaving mine. “Let’s get you back to bed, you need to rest.”
“I don’t need rest,” I rasp. My voice starts to crack and wobble as my eyes burn with unshed tears. “I don’t need to sleep. I just need…you.”
Luca takes my hands and presses a kiss to my forehead. “You have me, Dolcezza. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Then why are you treating me like I’m broken? I’m not broken!”
“I don’t think you’re broken. I just…” He sighs exasperatedly, his gaze honing in on mine like he’s searching for an answer I’m unwilling to give him. With a sigh, he drops his gaze to our hands. “We’re allowed to crack a little, even if it’s just to let the light through.”
I hold my breath, thinking that this is him giving up, preparing to walk away from me. Instead, he surprises me by slamming his lips onto mine, sealing his words with a kiss. It’s deep, meaningful, sincere, and I feel it all. He knows what I’m asking for, he knows what I need. I don’t have to tell him what that is because we’ve danced this dance before. I need him to take control, to take back whatever Luciano tried to hurt me with; his words, his blade. I need Luca to be the person to bring me back before I lose myself to the haunting memory of what I’ve been through.
Luca grabs me by the backs of my thighs, wrapping them around his waist as he moves us back into the bedroom. Our lips move with one another’s, sharing my breath and my heart all at once. It’s a deliciously punishing kiss that I feel all the way to my toes, leaving me breathless.
Dropping us onto the bed, he crawls over my body, peppering kisses along my neck while he tugs his boxers off. He pulls away from me slightly, just enough to drag my panties down my legs, kissing a sweet path up my thigh. But that’s all that’s sweet about Luca.
“Please,” I whimper, desperation lacing my plea.
Grabbing my ankles, he twists me onto my front. The room spins and the wind is knocked out of me as he pulls me further down the bed until my feet hit the floor, then he grabs my hips, yanking them towards him. He leans over me, his lips brushing the shell of my ear while his thumb teases my pussy. “You tell me to stop if it’s too much.”
Another whimper parts my lips when he removes his hand, but it’s all I can offer him aside from a nod before he lines his cock up at my slick entrance and thrusts into me.
I cry out from the pleasure rippling through me to the pain searing up my back. Luca is careful not to touch me there when he removes my t-shirt, though it still hurts. Instead, he grabs my hair and tugs me against his chest, all the while thrusting his cock deep into me.
“Tell me to stop,” he grunts in my ear, but it’s too late. I’m overwhelmed with pleasure, with my emotions telling me just how good this is. I’ve missed this. I need this.
Luca reaches around me, sliding his hand up to pinch my nipple. “Tell me to go,” he demands.
“No,” I pant. “I don’t want you to stop! I never want you to go!” I clench my eyes shut as he punches his hips forward so harshly I’m forced to use my hands to break my fall as I hit the mattress. Luca isn’t gentle with the way he deliberately drives me into the bed, but he’s considerate in the way he leans over me and kisses my neck, offering me a sliver of sweetness to his otherwise roughness.
I crane my neck and tilt my head back, seeking more. He delivers a bite to the fleshiest part of my neck, drawing a moan from my lips. His hand plays with my breast, rolling and pinching the nipple, massaging roughly, cupping greedily.
The bundle of nerves between my legs throbs desperately, my inner walls clenching around Luca’s cock as I chase the pleasure. I grind back into him, eager for more friction, but Luca grips my hips and stills. His deep pants fills the room and for a moment, time seems to stand still. He draws one hand down my back, gently caressing the wound, and stilling as he reaches the base of my spine.
“Sorry,” he rasps, pulling away.
The sudden emptiness that replaces him has my fingers digging deeper into my sheets.
My brows furrow as I turn over. I hate how he’s looking at me, like he’s second-guessing himself, doubting me. The regret in his eyes is more than I can take. Is he regretting this? Is he regretting us?
“I don’t want your apologies, Fontana.” Anger laces my words as I reach forward, giving his cock a languid stroke. “I want you to fuck me. Fuck me like you want to. Fuck me like I want you to. Fuck me like I’m not broken. Fuck me until we forget.”
“Sera— fuck!” He drops his head as I give his cock another stroke, my fist tightening over the velvety head just how he likes it, spreading my arousal over his length.
“Please, Luca.” My voice wobbles but I keep my gaze strong as I look up at him. “Make me forget.”
In one motion, he grabs me by the hips, spins me around and slams me onto the bed. I throw my head back and gasp as he impales me on his cock, feeling my walls stretch as he fills me to the hilt. He starts grinding his hips, slow and deep, hitting that delicious spot inside of me until my toes curl.
I moan out, coaxing Luca to hammer harder, drive deeper until I’m crying out through the pleasure and pain. My body is on fire, my thighs throb and my pussy pulses with liquid desire, taking away the pain lancing up my back.
Luca brings his palm down on my ass, the sting biting into my flesh. It should warn me away, but instead I crave more of it. Sensing my depravity, he delivers another slap to my ass, the pleasure and pain bleeding into a euphoric feeling that ripples through me.
The burning sensation on my skin forces me to bite down on my lip as I chase my orgasm. It’s so close, yet so out of reach, and the desperation in Luca’s thrusts is so addictive that I don’t want it to stop. He punches his hips faster, not caring that it’s out of sync or rhythm. It feels so damn good, like a drug I don’t want to give up.
The heat crawling up my back warns me of my impending climax, the knot in my stomach unfurling so fast that Luca’s name parts my lips, begging for more. “Please,” I moan.
Luca grips my hips, his fingers digging in so hard that I wince. But I welcome the ache, it’s a distraction from the shadows trying to crawl out from the recesses of my mind.
“That’s it, Dolcezza. Come for me.”
My body suddenly tenses as I feel his thumb press against my ass, the ring of muscle slowly welcoming the intrusion. He uses my ass to guide me over his cock, his thumb and cock working together, rubbing against the muscles inside.
And then all at once, my world shatters. The earth below me gives way as I succumb to a mind-blowing, body-obliterating orgasm that shakes through my very core to the tips of my toes. I feel Luca’s release fills me up, the pressure only intensifying my climax.
Wave after wave of blissful pleasure ripples through me. We both collapse onto the bed, nothing more than breathless moans and groans of satisfaction leaving our lips. His hot body clings to mine, his lips peppering sweet kisses over my neck and shoulder. I shiver delightfully, my body hypersensitive. Finally I feel that tether that links me to my men snap back into place. Though they’ve not left my side, there’s something about our intimacy that tugs at our connection, a connection I don’t think I ever want to lose.
After a minute of silence and deep thoughts, the room filled with our sated pants, Luca pulls out of me and turns me onto my side. “Better, Dolcezza?”
Somehow, I can’t find the words to express what I’m feeling. It’s a delicious blend of happiness, relief, love; a connection only Luca and I have, an understanding that only Luca can grasp.
Finally, I nod, my boneless body slowly gaining sensation again. “I told you I wasn’t broken.”
Ihear the voices growing louder as I approach the kitchen, Levi and Enzo’s aggressive tones booming ahead of me. After Luca and I eventually gained a level of sensibility, I decided that I needed to see Giovanni. I don’t need answers, I have those already. This is for me, so I can be certain of my decision. I need to look at the man who turned me over to the enemy, so I can be certain that my next step isn’t the wrong one.
I know the guys won’t agree with me, but I made a promise, and an innocent girl has been thrown into the chaos of revenge and vendettas. It isn’t fair for her to get caught up in this. It isn’t fair for her to lose her father and become lost in our world. It’s in my hands to help, and I’ll be damned if I can’t do something about that.
“So you want me to let him go? Let him live?”
Stepping into the kitchen, I see Levi and Enzo leveling one another with angry stares, neither willing to back down. I can smell the masculinity, taste the toxic stubbornness of the two men who have flipped my world upside down.
“He’s got nothing, Enz.”
“Good.”
Rolling my eyes, I take one more step into the kitchen. “I need him alive.”
Enzo’s head snaps towards me instantly, surprise widening his eyes. He obviously wasn’t expecting me to appear because he’s suddenly unable to form a coherent word. He takes a moment to gaze upon me, no doubt taking note of the red suit I’m wearing. And I choose that moment to march towards him, snatching the knife out of his hands and pressing the blade to his throat.
“I said, I need him alive,” I grind out.
Stepping away, he waves his arm towards the garage door. “He’s still alive. Barely.”
Scowling hard, I press the knife against his throat harder. Despite my order for him to leave, I could never actually harm him. But I need him to see that my threat is very real. I don’t want to be around him right now—maybe not ever. “I thought I told you to leave?”
Enzo leans back against the counter, his lips tilting up into a smirk that sets my veins on fire “And I thought I told you, ‘no can do’.”
“You have no place here,” I sneer, placing the knife aside. His height towers over me too much to really make a dent on his authoritative stance.
“I’m your second in command, Princess, or did you forget?”
“No, Enzo.” I shake my head, feeling Levi’s presence beside me. It gives me the strength to say the words that I know will hurt, but they have to be said. “Levi is my second in command.”
I see the pinch of hurt twist his features slightly. And though he fights to keep a stoic mask, I know Enzo LaRosa too well. It’s the flicker in his eyes, the way his jaw clenches and the vein in his neck throbs. It’s the silence that follows my words, letting me know I’ve just pinned him down with the last thing he wanted to hear and he has nothing to throw back at me.
Satisfied, I spin around and head towards the garage. I don’t have the time nor energy to fight Enzo any more on this. Having him back in the picture isn’t easy for any of us. We still have so many questions. I have so many questions, though I don’t know if I’m ready for the answers yet. Sooner or later, I know I’ll have to sit down and talk with him about what transpired, but right now I have something else to deal with.
I stop short in the doorway as my thoughts immediately run to the knife he was holding, the same one I held against his throat. I tap my fingernails on the doorframe as I glance back at Enzo, then to the knife on the side.
No. I don’t want to know what state Giovanni will be in.Seeing it for myself is what drives me out of the kitchen, towards the garage with Levi in tow.
The stench of deprivation and desolation fills the room as I enter the basement where Giovanni is being held captive. My eyes immediately find him, but instead of hatred, I feel pity. My heart clenches at the sight of him bruised, battered and bleeding, hanging from barbed wire chained to the ceiling. There isn’t a single place on his body that Enzo hasn’t touched, and as much as I want to say it’s deserved, I don’t have it in me.
“Leave us,” I mutter over my shoulder.
Levi hesitates for a moment. I think the last thing he wants to do is leave us alone, but he knows better than to question me on this.
After a huff of disapproval, Levi’s footsteps disappear down the corridor, leaving just me, my thoughts, and a broken bodyguard.
Leaning against the wall of the basement, I take in the tools beside me, covered in blood and promises of more pain to come. I feel a tear roll down my cheek, and this time I make no attempt to cover it up. I have nothing to hide from Giovanni. There are no more secrets between us, so I shouldn’t have to hide my pain from him either.
“Sera,” Giovanni groans, forcing my head to snap in his direction. “Principessa.”
I shudder at the pet name he holds for me, trying to shake the memories we had together before everything went sideways. Folding my arms, I watch his weak body shift, his toes barely reaching the floor from where he hangs.
“I don’t want your apology,” I snap.
Giovanni’s eyes are swollen shut, but when he lifts his head, I know he’s trying to give me his full attention. “You deserve more than that,” he grumbles.
I take a few steps forward, my breath choking in my throat when my focus hones in on the slice over his cheek, matching my own. “You’re right,” I find the words falling in a whisper. I reach up and cup his cheek, but stop short when I see the dried blood, the slice of flesh that mirrors my own wound. Sadness fills my words as I gaze upon the man I so blindly trusted. “I want to believe that you did it for her, not because you wanted to hurt me.”
“I never… I never wanted to hurt you.”
Another tear falls from my eye, seeping into the dressing on my face. “I know. I know you had no choice. I can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like to have your daughter taken from you, but you should have told me.”
“There was nothing anyone could do.”
His words burn through my chest, slicing up the muscle into tiny pieces. I hate how those few words make me feel so inferior, like I couldn’t have helped. Deep down, I know I’d have done anything I could to ensure the safety of his daughter, just like I promised Zeke with his. “I guess you don’t know me as well as you thought, then.”
I go to turn around, realizing this was a mistake. Seeing Giovanni broken, hearing his desolate words, it’s all too much.
“She’s my world.”
I pause my retreat, my back facing him as his declaration sinks in.
“You’re a part of that too,” he adds, though there’s no desperation in his tone, just honest, fragile words from a defeated man. “You’re my world, too.”
“Was, Gio,” I correct, turning to face him. “I was your world, until you destroyed it.”
Giovanni turns his head away from me.
My jaw tightens with guilt and sadness. “But here’s the thing,” I say, stepping up to him one last time. “I made you a promise back there, and I always keep them. I’ll help you get Gabriella back, but after that… we’re done. You leave. And you don’t come back. I never want to see your face. I never want to hear your voice. If I so much as hear the mention of your name, I will rescind my mercy. Daughter or not, you fucked with me and my family.”
“You’re letting me live?”
“For now,” I say reluctantly. “I can’t have your death on my hands while your daughter is still out there.”
“That’s why you’re going to be a great leader,” he croaks.
I glare at him, though he can’t see the depth of anger his words evoke. “I am a great leader, Gio. Don’t forget that.”