21. The Night Before Christmas
The Night Before Christmas
Scene II
[In the Santa Court near closing time.]
Viola, dressed in Santa attire, stands chatting with Oliva.
On the night before Christmas, I have the most perfect day at work.
Christmas cheer, as it turns out, isn’t just a concept, it’s a mutable force that swells with the excitement of every child who comes to sit on my lap and with every parent whose eyes well up with tears as the camera clicks.
By lunchtime, Christmas cheer permeates the village so much that I could almost reach out and grab it.
Like I said, a perfect day.
Or nearly perfect.
All day, I’ve only seen Duke in glimpses and blurs in my periphery.
He’s like a ghost I can’t catch—a ghost that doesn’t want to be caught.
It’s a hurt I can ignore when I have a line of kids, excited beyond belief for Christmas tomorrow, but, as the families thin out to go do their own traditions, it pangs me more and more.
In the past, I’d slink away to lick my wounds in private.
I’d stay curled up and unassuming until Mal decided to pull me back into his life.
I never tried to fight for Mal. I thought it was because I didn’t feel confident enough to take up space.
The truth is, maybe it was just Mal. Maybe I knew he wasn’t worth fighting for.
This is worth fighting for. Duke is worth fighting for.
I don’t care if he avoids me. I have something planned that he won’t be able to look away from.
I hope.
“How are you feeling?” Olivia asks, slinging an arm around my shoulder and nuzzling into me.
For the second time this season, our station is the slowest one. Pretty much everyone already has a Santa picture by now, so the families still here are ones who are making memories together. No one wants to wait in a line and be separated on Christmas Eve.
“A little nervous.”
She gives me a squeeze. “Don’t be. He’s crazy for you.”
I shrug. Olivia shrugs back at me, mocking me by exaggerating the motion and laughing. “I think I liked it better when you had a crush on me.”
“I did not…” she trails off, blushing. “Maybe a little. Ninety percent of it was me rebounding from my missed connection with my mystery guy.”
“Forty percent of it was rebounding?” I challenge.
She rolls her eyes and starts cleaning up our station even though Snowspruce is still open for another twenty minutes. “I’m not sure how much of it was rebounding. Maybe I’ll just text your brother some more and get his opinion.”
Ew. Not cool dragging my brother into this, and she knows it, too. She smirks at me, daring me to push her on it.
“Twenty percent of it was rebounding?” I tease.
“Don’t you have a grand gesture to set up?” she counters.
I note the distinct lack of an answer. Still, she’s right. I slip away from our station to change out of my Santa clothes, texting Maria to make sure she’s still on board with this.
She is—though she also texts to warn me not to start on my plan even a minute before Snowspruce closes. I’m just going to leave that one on ‘read’.
When Snowspruce closes, Maria announces that there will be a final debriefing meeting in the now-empty Christmas tree farm area. I wait there, backlit by a bonfire that I made, watching as the silhouettes of de-costumed Santas and elves walk toward me in the twilight of Christmas Eve.
Duke is the first one to walk into the fire’s glow—or maybe he’s just all that I see.
I press play on my phone and the nearby speakers come alive with ‘I’ll Be Home for Christmas’.
Though it’s a far cry from perfect, I’ve tried my best (with Sebastian’s help) to duplicate the look of Duke’s family farm, based on a Christmas picture Olivia found on his social media.
His eyes flicker as a smile creeps onto his face. Too soon, it disappears.
Fair enough. Grand gestures only count when there’s a solid base of trust.
Hair down and beardless, I’m finally ready to hang out after one of our shifts, finally ready to be myself. I clear my throat and stand on one of the hay bales I took from the fake reindeer pen in the petting zoo. “Welcome, everyone, to the first ever Snowspruce Staff Reindeer Games—”
“A completely unsanctioned activity that is in no way associated with our company,” Maria cuts in. She pauses. “Also, I’d like to reiterate that the work season has officially ended and none of you are current employees. In fact, you’re all trespassing.”
She nods and then goes over to a table where I put some of Duke’s family’s favourite holiday foods. She pours herself a mug of eggnog and adds a liberal dash of something from a flask from inside her jacket pocket.
“Right. Now, these games won’t be as elaborate as the Reindeer Games held by Duke’s family.
For instance, there aren’t any snowmobiles and, if I understand the article in the newspaper correctly, everyone will keep their clothes and limbs”—Duke cracks a smile, making my heart soar—“to start, let’s all introduce ourselves. ”
I step off the hay bale and walk right up to Duke. Instinctively, he takes a step towards me. Without both of our Santa bellies, it’s the closest we’ve ever been, his closeness filling all the empty parts of me that were always waiting for him.
“I’m Viola Pearson,” I say, daring my eyes to meet his.
He watches me with an absolute concentration that sends shivers up my spine.
“I’m a Virgo and, I guess, unemployed and trespassing.
I have a twin brother named Sebastian, who is an idiot, but I love him.
I love kids and hope to work with them one day.
I cry at the drop of a hat and adore reading or watching things that will make me cry.
“Years ago, I lost my heart and myself to a man who I don’t think ever loved me, or at least never respected me.
I’m starting to find my way back to myself though, probably helped along by the fact that I found someone I’m completely head over heels for.
” My voice cracks, and I know my eyes are spilling over with tears.
Still, I keep going. I owe it to Duke to keep going.
“I wound up lying to him, a lot, even though it killed me not to tell him the truth. Hurting him hurt worse than being cheated on by someone I’d been with for almost a decade.
If I could take it back, I would. A thousand times over, I’d take it back. ”
I hold my breath. My face is hot and flushed, making the mist of the near-freezing rain feel like tiny pin pricks on my face. Still, I don’t flinch, I don’t look away. I just watch Duke with an ache so deep in my chest, waiting to see if he’ll accept my apology.
If he’ll accept me.
“Wow. Do we all have to do all vulnerable introductions like that? I’m Captain and I have this really bad rash from my Santa pants—” starts Captain from off to the side.
“You’re such an idiot,” Curio says, pulling him away and throwing a thumbs up my way.
Despite the tension of the moment, my heart warms a little. The normalcy of their lunacy makes me think that maybe, just maybe, some things won’t change.
Duke runs his hand through his hair. “You did all this for me?” He gestures to the fire, the music, the food… everything that he told me he loved about Christmas. The only thing I couldn’t do was order up a fresh snowfall.
I shrug. “You were sad that you can’t make it home for Christmas this year.”
The ghost of a smile flits across his face. “You lied about a lot of things, Viola.”
I nod. It’s true. I lied about everything. “I’m so sorry.”
We’re standing so close that his pinky grazes the edge of my hand. By accident? On purpose? “I appreciate your honesty, but there’s one more thing that I need to hear the truth on.” Again, I nod. I’ll answer any question for him. “When you said you weren’t a cuddler, was that another lie?”
I snort a fragile laugh from the back of my throat. “Duke cuddles are my favourite thing in the world.”
He smiles a cocky smile. “Until now.”
With a swoop of his arm, he pulls me flush against his body to give me the kiss of a lifetime. His lips are soft against mine. They part mine easily as his tongue dips into my mouth. The kiss is everything. It’s stars and fireworks and…
“Snow?” Duke asks, breaking the kiss to whisper his wonder against my lips.
Sure enough, fat flakes fall onto my nose.
I look up in wonder at the snowflakes that glisten in the glow of the firelight.
In my whole life, we’ve never had anything more than a wet slush fall on Christmas Eve.
When I pull my eyes away from the sky, I see that Duke isn’t looking at the snow. He’s still looking at me.
“Amazing,” he says.
A smile floats to my face. “Yeah, amazing.”
He reaches up and strokes a hand against my cheek. “Do I just get to do this now? You’re not actually weird about people touching your face, are you?”
“ You are allowed to touch my face whenever you want.” I pause. “Providing I’m forgiven.”
Duke rests his palm against my cheek. His thumb brushes at the seam of my lips. “There’s nothing to forgive. You lied because you needed a job, not because you wanted to manipulate me. In fact, you tried very hard to keep me away. Not that I’d ever let that happen.”
“But, you told Maria to keep me away from you?”
“I just wanted her to steer you away from me—not freak you out.” Duke takes one hand off me, while holding me closer with his other. With his free hand, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little, wrapped gift. “I didn’t want to see you empty-handed.”
With shaking hands caught under the increasing flurry of snow, I unwrap the gift. Inside the wrapping paper, an ornament flickers in the nearby firelight.
“It took a lot of ducking out of work to get this here.”
It’s an ornament of two Santas kissing under some mistletoe. Its paint is chipping and it’s heavier than a brick, but it’s the absolute loveliest ornament I’ve ever seen.
“I can’t believe this exists,” I breathe.