The Un-Apparent Heir: A Royal Family Saga Romance (Spare Change Book 4)

21. A Request

“What is it you need, Natalie? I am overwhelmed this morning and I didn’t even know if you knew how to find your way into London any more.”

Natalie stood before her father’s desk, arms crossed. She rolled her eyes.

“Ha-ha. You’re hilarious.”

“So my children say. Are you quite alright? You look pale.”

“Exhausted. Feeling a bit off. You know, the usual for a woman in my condition. I need two things from you. One, I want the go-ahead to do our release well before they announce your surgery. Ed wants this—Ed needs this. It will mean the world to him?—”

“Fine, fine. You two have waited more than patiently to shout this out. Go on, let the world know,” Robbie said.

Natalie smiled. Her father was in a better mood than she anticipated.

“How is George?” Robbie asked. “You haven’t killed him yet, I assume?”

“He’s lovely. Our house is a disaster. Ed and I have never been happier than with our loud life...”

Robbie grinned. “I know the feeling, but I don’t want to get too attached to the idea of George sticking around for longer.”

“He’s staying—and with us—until they figure out what to do. But a bit about that. We will need to massage the press, build a strategy, and manage his reintroduction. I have ideas, but?—”

“Great. It’s your problem, manage it how you see fit.”

Natalie cocked her head. “Daddy, please tell me you are not about to up and die on us because you are just rolling over?—”

Robbie shook his head and let out a long sigh. “Natalie, darling girl, You are every bit your grandmother sometimes—you want a fight where it does not exist. I admit you are the better strategist. I count myself a fine one, but… you have outplayed me many times. I trust you and Edwin have discussed whatever this strategy is.”

“The strategy is to rein George in until he can be useful. He needs handling.”

“And how do you propose that? Patrick doesn’t want?—”

“Lord Hewlett is retiring. We must ensure the new Lord Chamberlain is in place as soon as possible. Name that person.”

“Alright, I was in no hurry. Lord Hewlett is willing to hold on.”

“His service to this family is positively unmatched. He deserves a retirement, but he’s been out the door for months.”

“So, find someone. What do you think we need in that person?”

“A shrewd task manager, someone who knows the household better than I do, and someone to mine details and evaluate the politics of a situation. They also must be willing to tell George to shut up when he gets in one of the moods you share with him. Oh, and to call me out.”

Robbie chuckled.

“It’s bloody well true. Do not deny it!”

“I am not denying it, Nat. You say it more eloquently than I can. Find that person.”

“I know that person,” Natalie said.

Robbie furrowed his brow. “Go on.”

“The person is Lucy Ferguson, Countess of Lauderdale. I need her to be our Lady Chamberlain—and soon. Because George also wants to buy a house and make announcements. I cannot for the life of me do this without her.”

“Is she mentally in the place for that?”

“I know it seems like she’s not, but she’s like Mum. She’s better when she’s needed, loved, and appreciated for her talents. Dad, I need her, and she needs us.”

“Lucy being Lady Chamberlain will not make her your lady-in-waiting. She won’t be your private secretary. You may be incredibly close to her, but she will not travel with you. It’s not like it was, Nat.”

“I know that. What was won’t be, but that’s okay. The job will get her home every evening and give us the best candidate. Trust me here. I’m not the only one who would agree.”

“In dark times, Lucy was the champion this family needed. I appreciate you paying the favour back, but she has young children. And is this thing with Winston sorted?”

“It will be—one way or another. They’ll make up, Dad. We’re all certain of it. Lucy loves him and he wants to fix things. He will see the light, move the family back to London, and that will sort it.”

“I do hope for her sake he wises up. Seeing her like that was painful. Your mother feels a member of her flock went missing. In a way, Lucy is one of my own. I want to strangle him.”

“Lucy has a plan and she’s pulling ideas together for our media strategy. She’s coming back alive. She just needed that feeling of self. She’d lost it. Sanne and I have been breadcrumbing. We are certain it’s right. Mum agrees, too. Winston has to believe in this.”

“So, all the women in the family have conspired against me?”

“Not Kiersten. She’s uninvolved.”

Robbie shook his head. “Well, we could use a Lady Chamberlain, I suppose. And Lucy has always been the best person for any job she’s ever had. I suppose we’d be lucky if she said yes. I leave that to you. If she accepts, notify me. I will talk to Lord Hewlett about succession planning.”

“Thank you, Daddy. Thank you,” Natalie said excitedly.

“It is your decision. Make these choices for yourself, Nat. You are ready for this. I’m proud of you. You take care of us better than we deserve. Whoever this baby is—they will be fortunate to learn from you. You have years left to go with me here, but I’m sitting back, watching and learning, quite frankly.”

Natalie felt her eyes tearing.

“Don’t start like your mother, I swear!”

“You cry more than I do! You should talk. I’m pregnant. I get away with things!” Natalie said.

“You do. Run the statement by comms and release it. Then, batten the hatches because it’s going to get wild.”

“I was going to have it go out Sunday morning.”

“I like that approach,” Robbie agreed.

“I’m having a baby, Dad.”

“You are. We’re all very, very excited to meet the baby when it arrives. In the meantime, give Lucy absolute power and have her frighten George. It’s a good approach.”

“Hasn’t failed yet.”

“Thanks for coming,”Lucy said.

Winston arrived at Frogmore alone to discuss matters in a cold, quiet room. Everyone else went to the castle for dinner—including Iona. Lucy and Winston were free to chat in an eerie, silent house. Lucy couldn’t help but worry about her husband. Nervous and gaunt, his sad ginger beard overran his sweet face. He was lost. He was a stranger.

Winston sat on the couch across from her with his phone on the table, face down. Neither spoke until he shook his head.

“Lucy, I came here to say I’m sorry and to beg you to come home. More than anything, I want to fix things and move forward. I love you. I do not want to live without you. I vowed to take care of you, and I will do that until the day I die. Please, baby, just come home.”

Lucy took a deep breath. “Tony, I want to come home to you. Every night. I want to wake up with you every day.”

His face softened.

“But not like this. Not with this cloud hanging over us or if it means going back to Scotland. I need to stay here and fuel my sense of self. The children need to see me happy. If I return to you, I will be the woman in the attic and the kids will watch me lose every talent and positive quality I ever had. I was once smart, accomplished, trusted, and appreciated for my capabilities. You used to laud me for that. Do you know how good that felt? And now… how lonely it feels to be none of those things?”

He looked down and shook his head. “I love you, Lucy. I have always said that.”

“When is the last time you paid me a compliment—a genuine one—that wasn’t tied to our children or my maternal capabilities?”

The wheels turned but Winston shrugged. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I cannot remember. That’s fucked, Lulu.”

“I need this, Tony. I need to be here with our friends—our family—and raise our kids with their kids. I long for community again. We grew apart, losing ourselves as we led this life we promised was best. It’s all a farce. It was an experiment, and it didn’t work. I know you don’t want to leave the sanctuary, but… it’s that place or me. I cannot choose Scotland over my mental health.”

Winston took a deep breath. Lucy waited, terrified. If he said no, they were done. Lucy would break the news to Winston they were divorcing and having a baby all at once. Her stomach twisted in knots as she fought the urge to vomit. She thought back to the pregnancy test that sat on the vanity in her bathroom as a reminder of what lay in wait. It horrified her that all this time together—the love they shared—could end while she held new life inside her.

“I was told I could choose my ideal life or you—not both. I was also told I would be daft as a box of rocks if I chose anyone but you, you know?”

“Who told you that?” Lucy asked.

“George,” Winston replied. “Rang me last night and gave me an earful. I was stunned at how he defended you and apologised for all the mistakes he made. He said you had an abandonment complex.”

“I do,” Lucy admitted. “I do and… George did make that worse.”

“Lucy, I never wanted to abandon you or take our children away. I didn’t want to divorce you. The boys want their mother far more than they want me. I cannot live without you. It is painful to think that we did all of this as a team for nothing. I promised to take care of you and it seems like I haven’t been.”

“I wasn’t giving my all, either, Tony.”

He shrugged. “We both could have done better, but Luce… I held the cards and you felt trapped. I am so sorry you ever made decisions based on that—if you did. If you want to leave, I will not fight you for custody. My father was a monster to my mother. I could never do it. Quite frankly, she’d cut me off and I wouldn’t blame her. I will not trap you. I am deeply ashamed that rather than listen to you, I forced you to run down here. I let Natalie put the pieces back together and George and Patrick help raise our baby.”

“They’re pretty great at it,” Lucy said. It was a joke.

Winston chuckled.

“Winston, I need to wake you up, but this wasn’t for attention. I didn’t want to be alive anymore. And if I told you, I worried you’d ignore me or put me in a facility. I didn’t feel safe being alone and I couldn’t just drop the baby off and run. I needed help—help you denied me. If we move forward together, I need you to listen.”

Winston teared up. “Yeah, of course. I promise I will listen. You didn’t… you didn’t want to be alive?”

Lucy shook her head. “No. And some days I still worry that maybe I am more of a bother than a help.”

“Lucy, don’t say that!”

Tears streamed for them both.

“I know my babies need me,” Lucy said. “And that Natalie and George care about me and… I have a place here. But even then, I need you to need me. To want me. To be patient with me. Iona’s birth was traumatising and you had no patience for it.”

“I am ashamed I thought you used it as an excuse to guilt me into giving you attention. And, as I say that, I sound like a fucking knob. Lucy, I should have given you attention because you’re my wife and you’d just given birth to our child. It never dawned on me it could be challenging and that you didn’t just get back to normal. You always have.”

“I have nightmares about it. And it’s about to get worse before it gets better, Winston.”

“How?”

Lucy stood. “Give me a minute.”

She rushed off, up to her guest room, retrieving the test. Lucy returned, sliding the definitive object across the coffee table to Winston.

He looked at the test, then Lucy, and finally the test again.

“Lucy, is this… are you…”

“There are two pregnant women in this house at present—Natalie and myself. Natalie is due in August by some miracle. And like a curse, we are due in October.”

Winston stared dumbfounded at Lucy. “I don’t think it’s a curse. But how do you feel?”

“I’m terrified and trying to ignore it. I’m sick and exhausted. I don’t want to be pregnant. I’m angry that it happened during the worst sex we’ve ever had and led up to our biggest fight. I’ve never felt so unloved or vulnerable as I did. And yet, here we are. No matter what we choose, I think I will have the baby. Getting an abortion is a risk I don’t think I want to take with the press. And I know I will feel differently when the baby is here.”

“Please don’t,” Winston said. “I want this baby. Even if you don’t want me. It’s ours.”

Lucy nodded. “I can swear I had no offers to have an affair.”

“I’m sorry I ever said that, Lucy. I never would have?—”

“I know. I never doubted you’d stay true. I doubted you loved me, you wanted me, or you even liked being around. I always trust you told me the truth about Rose.”

“Why?”

“Because you are the guilty type and it would be streaming off of you if you did it.”

“I never would. It is you or no one, Lucy. Damn it, I fought like hell to work up the courage to tell you I loved you years ago! We have three—soon to be four—beautiful children. You have been such a wonderful wife and partner. I know this is bleak. I have cried more in the past few weeks than in my life, but I will be better. However it needs to be, let’s choose each other?”

Lucy smiled and nodded. “Choosing each other is a good way to start.”

“We will need to get a house.”

Lucy nodded. “Despite me questioning her mental sanity and her testing of Ed’s patience, Natalie has invited us to stay. George and Patrick are also here. The house has what? Fifteen bedrooms but it gets wild.”

“The children entertain one another for now. It’s all a bit awkward. But… it’s fine. If you’re happy, I will be, too.”

“Good, because I am happy to be back and I have a co-pregnant person to vent to. I’ve wanted this since I had Malcolm.”

“Natalie is pregnant?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“Yes, it is bleak now, but it will get better, Winston. I promise you that with time, I will recover. And I will be much better off.”

“I just want to love you properly. I want the opportunity to try again—properly.”

“I know. Let’s start with a trip to the consultant, shall we? I made an appointment with a pain and trauma specialist in London. Sanne insisted that she is good and deals with birth injuries. She had a bad tear with Nate. I promise you I’m not making it up. I am frightened.”

“I get it. And you were right to be. I want you to know I thought I was a monster after that night. I never wanted to hurt you. I took my fear and self-loathing out on you rather than ask if you were okay.”

Lucy nodded. She wouldn’t dispute it.

“Winston?”

“Yes, my love?”

“Can you just… hold me for a moment? I want to feel close to you and know you’re here.”

“Sure.” Winston was tender.

He moved to the other couch, pulling her into his arms and held Lucy close. She clung, taking in the smell of his aftershave and how big his arms felt. Safe again, like she didn’t want to leave.

“I missed you so much, Luce,” Winston whispered. “Everything was so hard without you. The day you left, I just assumed you left forever. I called my Mum?—”

“Why did you not ring me?”

“Because I thought you’d run off with Iona and it would only make things worse.”

“No, Winston. I would never have hurt her or stolen her away.”

“I was so frightened.”

“I spent six hours with her at the clinic alone waiting to get a diagnosis. And then I went to get coffee after picking up her damn ear drops and fucking Rose approached me and tried to help me with Iona. Also, they had no coffee. Long story. I called her a cunt, threatened to make sure her boys never got into good schools, and then drove around in circles until Iona finally stopped screaming.”

“I’m a shit husband. I’m sorry.”

“I blame Rose for Rose. I will loathe the next time I must see her stupid face,” Lucy groaned. “But I blame you for not coming to rescue me. And I blame me for not demanding you did.”

“You’re not going to lift a finger this time,” Winston said. “And once we get settled, you’re going to go back to work and do whatever it is you love. I will stay home with the kids.”

“I realise this is what you proposed years ago and I poo-pooed the idea. I’m sorry.”

“And here I was thinking that I was providing for you in the best way. But, no, Luce. I was giving you far too little. I’m sorry.”

Lucy smiled up at his big blue eyes. “I love you, Winston. Let’s not do this again.”

“I’d rather not, no. Are you coming back with me tonight?”

“I don’t think that is a good idea. It’s best if you bring the boys tomorrow morning and we all reunite like it was planned this way.”

Winston nodded. “But I don’t want to leave you, Lulu.”

“I know,” Lucy said. “But it’s just for one night. Then, we’re back together for good.”

“I don’t know what to do with the estate, but I will talk to Mum and Gerry. We will figure something out,” Winston said. “You and I need a proper fucking holiday without kids before this baby comes. I want unlimited hours spent with you—doing absolutely nothing.”

“I could go for that, Tony,” Lucy smiled. “I would gladly join you.”