Chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
F leur watched the big men stride away. She’d been working in Syria for so long that seeing an American dressed in a combat uniform and carrying a gun was striking. Or perhaps it was the man himself because that man was the type of man all fantasies were made of: tall, dark, good-looking, and commanding. He was a natural leader; the power that rolled off him was tangible.
“We can use that fuel.”
She was so lost in her thoughts that Miller’s words startled her. She nodded. “Definitely. They’re a change from the usual consultants.” Fleur went into her tent and grabbed a canvas chair. She brought it out and sat down to watch the men as they worked .
Miller was still there when she sat down. He crossed his arms and said, “Thank God. It’s about time we had some competence here. I don’t care if they’re hired muscle. But I’m not sure they can wrangle the local militia into submission. The best we ever got was reluctant and mediocre help. Speaking of which, I heard you were trying to meet with people outside the camp.” Miller spoke casually as they watched the men unload the trailer with an expediency and precision that only years of working together could bring.
She blinked and jumped out of her chair when she realized what he’d said. “What are you talking about?”
“Come on, Buchanan, I have my sources, and no, it wasn’t Rana. But she had to talk to people to get the information to the men she used to know. They talked to me.”
Fleur licked her lips. “I can explain.”
Miller held up his hand. “No need. I get it. You do what you need to do, but this won’t come down on this camp, understand? If you go through with this plan, it isn’t on my organization. The idea is too fucking risky, but I’ve known you long enough to know you won’t stop if you have your mind set on something. ”
She winced internally at the reprimand. “I’m just looking for options.”
Miller nodded. “As I said, you do what you need to do. I have work, and you have mercenaries to deal with.”
“Mercenaries?”
Miller looked at her and lifted an eyebrow. “What else do you call hired paramilitary?”
“Salvation?” Fleur countered.
Miller chuffed a laugh. “That is yet to be seen.” He walked back to his tent, and Fleur sat back down.
Miller’s words lingered in her mind. She understood he was connected but hadn’t known how connected until now. Well, he wasn’t going to stop her, which she was grateful for, but him knowing what she was doing wasn’t in her plans. A lot of things hadn’t been in her plans.
Her eyes followed the leader of the team. Ronan. What an unusual name. She’d hugged him. Goodness, what a forward thing to do. But the excitement of having unexpected supplies had launched her at the man in immediate gratitude. The muscles under that uniform were hard and tight, and she may have been selfish and hugged him for a bit too long. The feeling of strength and, yes, protection when she was in his arms was something she didn’t know she needed. Being strong for everyone had taken its toll. So, sue her if she took a few precious seconds for herself in a stranger’s arms. Lord knew she’d given hugs to so many children in this camp. Physical contact was almost medicinal. Staring at the tall form of Ronan Alexander as he worked, she smiled. She could like that medicine. He was better than a teaspoon of sugar. She snorted and chuckled.
Rana appeared beside her. “Who are they?”
“Hi. They’re Americans. They have fuel and some supplies.”
“They’re building a tent. Are they staying?” She sat down on the ground beside Fleur.
“They are. They’ll be helping with security for the convoys—hopefully.”
Rana’s head jerked toward her. “So, you won’t need to use the tunnels?”
Fleur’s eyes narrowed as she watched the men erect the tent in record time. “I’m not sure. Why?”
“I received word from the people I know. They’ll be in the area in three weeks and will talk to you outside the camp. They don’t want to be seen near here.”
Fleur peeled her eyes off the men and looked down at Rana. “Outside?”
Rana nodded. “Don’t do it. I don’t know if these men have changed or if the same men are together.” Rana put her arm on Fleur’s. “Let these Americans help. There are fates worse than death, Fleur. You know this. The plan is foolish.”
It was, but she was desperate to get as many people out of the camp as possible before they shuttered it. “Tell them I’ll meet with them.” She held up her hand. “If the Americans can help, I won’t go. But I need to have a backup plan, Rana.”
The woman’s lips disappeared as she stared at Fleur. “I do not like it. You shouldn’t do it. Don’t meet with them, Fleur. It isn’t the way forward.”
“Neither do I, but I have to do something. And, Rana, be careful who you talk with,” Fleur said.
“What do you mean?”
“Miller knows.”
“How?” Rana frowned.
“I’m not sure, but he does. He won’t stop me, but he isn’t happy.”
Rana shook her head. “He should.”
Fleur chuckled. “He knows I’ll just look for another way. Shuttering this camp is a mistake, and I’ve been banging that drum since we were first notified, and that was before all the trouble with the convoys. I’ve written so many emails and made as many calls as I could. There are more IDPs than facilities, and they’re shuttering us. Ridiculous.”
“It doesn’t make sense. Are you sure you want me to tell my contacts you will meet them?”
“Yes. Until I know the Americans are the answer to the convoy problem, I need to have an alternate plan.”
“I don’t like it,” Rana complained.
Fleur nodded toward the men walking their way. “They’re coming.”
Rana stood up when she did. “I’ll be going.”
“Thank you for getting word to them.”
“Once again, I will not accept your thanks for doing something that could get you killed.” Rana turned to leave. “They will want money.”
Fleur nodded. “I know.” She watched her friend walk away before turning back to the men who were approaching.
She was still working on getting money into the country and the camp. Sending cash in the mail was risky, and she doubted smugglers would take a check. Fleur laughed at her thoughts. Yet, she had an idea. She’d sent an email to her cousin in Virginia, who was her point of contact in the States, and was waiting for an answer. It was risky, but hopefully, it would work. Money was essential to getting the people to safety, so it would be worth the chance.
She stood as Ronan and his men approached with fuel containers. Damn, they were strong. There was no way she could lift one of those tanks; they carried one in each hand. Ten tanks. Tears formed in her eyes. “You have no idea what that means to us. We can keep the security lights on and run the clinic and communications generators.”
Ronan set his cans down casually. “Lead the way, we’ll follow.”
She wiped her eyes. “This way.” She led them through the maze of paths that had haphazardly developed as survivors moved into camp and built shelters. The first stop was the medical tent. The men filled the generator and left one full container. The container was chained to the generator, which was also chained to a large chunk of buried rock. If anyone wanted the fuel or the generator, they would work for it.
The next stop was the communications tent. The men followed the same process, leaving a full container similarly secured to the generator and anchored. The admin tent was next, followed by the kitchen tent. The last area they reached was the security lighting, which kept the area between the militia and the camp lit.
“Why isn’t there security lighting all the way around the camp?” Ronan asked as his men filled the generators.
She glanced up at him. “When you boil it down, it’s a matter of money or greed, which is basically money.” When Ronan raised his eyebrows questioningly, she sighed and answered, “When we could move people out, we could bring in fuel and supplies. Since the convoys have been targeted, we’ve had to pick and choose what’s fueled. There’s only so much we can do.”
He glanced toward where the militia was camped. “And you chose to light this area instead of using the lighting around the other portions of the camp?”
Her lips thinned as she nodded. “Sometimes your help can become your enemy. I don’t trust the militia to lift a finger to stop anyone from sneaking into camp.”
“Including the militia itself.” He finished her thought for her.
“The unaccompanied women and children in this camp are a means to money. That money is very tempting to people who have nothing. There are good men in the militia, and then there are the bastards who exploit a ravaged population.” She looked up at him. “Excuse my language, please.”
He glanced down with those dark brown eyes and gave her a quick smile. “You have every right to express yourself. Believe me, I’ve heard worse.” He put his hands on his hips. “I’m working with the militia to help move the convoys again, and you’ve called it correctly regarding the mix of people in that camp. My team and I have set expectations with the new cadre of militia who arrived today. If they want to be paid, they’ll toe the line.”
“Can you pay them more than they could make by selling information on our convoys? Because I think that’s what’s happening.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. I hope so. Why do you think it’s the militia selling the information? Do you give them advance knowledge of the route?”
“No, we don’t. They don’t know until we pull out of the camp, but the route is obvious once we start because we can only access a few locations that will take our people.”
“You’ll have to show me how you plan and coordinate the convoys.” Ronan crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at his boot. “Perhaps a change in locations is required. ”
“Good luck with that. There are twelve camps here, counting us. Six aren’t within our vehicles’ gas mileage, and three are at capacity and can’t take our people. That leaves three camps where we can relocate the people residing here.”
“There may be another way.” Ronan lifted his eyes to hers.
Her gut tightened. “Like what?”
He moved his gaze to the mountains. “There are tunnels not far from here used to move goods and people.”
She gasped and backed up a step. “You know about the tunnels?”
He nodded. “It was included in my briefing. Accessing them and keeping the people safe as they traverse the system is insanely complex, especially with the smugglers in the area.” He shook his head. “That’s why we dismissed the idea unless we need to use it as an emergency egress for the staff.”
“An emergency what?” She was trying to keep up, but he was talking in a language she didn’t understand.
“Egress. An emergency exit. We could possibly protect the staff, but the amount of people in this camp—there’s no way.”
She moved forward and put her hand on his arm. Surprised, he locked eyes with her as she almost pleaded, “If we took them in small groups, we could get them out. The question would be where we would come out and how to get them from the end of the tunnel to a safe location in Turkey. That, and how to be absent from the camp from when we left to when we got back without raising concerns or suspicions. The second someone learned about it in camp, the information could be sold, and that would jeopardize the route and the people.” She rolled her bottom lip between her teeth. “So many variables, but it’s a viable option.”
Ronan lifted his hand and put his finger under her chin, lifting her eyes to his. His eyes glimmered with knowledge as he said, “You’ve been planning to use the tunnels, haven’t you.”
His words weren’t a question. They were a statement, and she nodded, and his finger fell from her chin. “I’ve asked one of the ladies in camp to contact her late husband’s coworkers. He was killed trying to bring supplies into Aleppo. When she found out he was killed and that the faction who’d killed him had identified him, his business partners helped her flee. She ended up here.”
Ronan frowned and glanced back toward the camp. “We have contacts that have been vetted, and we trust them. Don’t endanger yourself or the occupants of this camp by using people who aren’t trustworthy. That’s not smart.”
The reprimand stung. She blinked at him and then huffed out a humorless laugh. “What isn’t smart is leaving all these people here. They came here for help. Our organizations have promised to do that. If we’re pulled out, what’s going to happen to them? I can tell you what’ll happen.” She was shaking because she was so mad, but damn it, calling her stupid for looking for alternatives was the straw that broke her back today. Her voice rose as she continued, “Those men will sell any female they can and use the ones they can’t. The fathers in this camp will be killed or forced to join the factions along with all boys above the age of eight. Those under the age of eight will be sold for sex or servitude. Their own government turns a blind eye and offers no assistance. Looking away and pretending that isn’t happening is what is stupid , sir, not trying to find ways around our current dilemma.”
Ronan cocked his head and stared at her, an amused gleam in his eyes. Well, screw him. “I’m sure you can find your way back to your campsite.” She spun on her heel, but a solid hand on her shoulder stopped her before she could put one foot forward. His voice was right behind her. “Forgive me for offending you. You should know I’ve spent years fighting the worst the world offers to protect those with no alternative. Additionally, my little spitfire, I did not say your methods or you were stupid. I said working with people who have not been vetted was not smart. Guardian has resources you do not. Let us determine the best actions to take.”
She dropped her head, the feeling of this man’s body behind her, warm and strong, and his hand resting on her shoulder sucked every morsel of rebellion from her. She didn’t turn around as she apologized. It was easier not to face him. “I’m sorry. It’s been a difficult time. I’ve been going insane trying to find a way to relocate our people. The tunnels are an option. Too many people have lost their lives trying to get these people relocated to a safe place.”
His hand squeezed her shoulder. “I understand where you’re coming from.”
She turned and didn’t try to keep the desperation and anguish out of her voice. “Do you? Really? Have you lost people or known anyone who’s been trafficked?” How could he understand unless he’d worked in the camps and seen the complete lack of sufficient help that dashed the hopes and dreams of every person who walked through those camp gates? It wasn’t possible.
The kindness in his eyes vanished, and a blank, desolate stare filled his expression. In a natural movement, he tapped his ear before he said. “Yes, I’ve lost people, one who died in my arms, and yes, my sister was kidnapped and sold to human traffickers. Don’t assume you’re the only one who’s had losses. You aren’t. If you’ll excuse me, we’ll make our way back to our camp.” The warmth in his voice was gone. Instead, his answer was clipped and sharp. He strode past her, brushing her shoulder and turning her.
Oh, God. No. She reached out and called after him, “Ronan, wait …” But he didn’t stop, and could she blame him? No, she couldn’t. How could she have been so … judgmental? She had no idea of his past, and the pain he had to have gone through was beyond her comprehension. His sister! Her hands shook as she realized she’d alienated the one source of help that could do something to help them. Even more, she’d brought that pain back to him. If his losses haunted him as much as hers, that pain was raw and bleeding.
Yes, Ronan knew about the tunnels. He knew security and maybe could get the convoys back up and moving safely, but before that he was a man. A man who’d brought help, who was working with her, not against her and she’d put a mile-wide wedge between them. Damn it. What was she going to do now? She watched as the team headed back to the front of the camp.
“You screwed that one up.”
Fleur jumped at the voice behind her. “Shelly, God, where did you come from?”
“The clinic tent, where I spend my life.” Shelly laughed. “I heard there were some Americans here, and they filled up our generators. I wanted to thank them. I saw you and that big guy and headed this way. I just caught the last bit, but, girl, you’ve got to stop thinking of yourself as the victim in this horrendous mess. You weren’t killed or taken.”
Fleur blinked at the bluntness of Shelly’s words. If her friend had slapped her across the face, she wouldn’t have felt so … attacked . “Excuse me?”
Shelly pushed her ponytail over her shoulder and put her hands on her hips. “Oh, come on, Fleur, the people who went on those convoys knew the risks. We all do. There’s no guarantee in this part of the world. Yes, it sucks that they were killed. I won’t for a second say it doesn’t, but you are not the martyr in this situation. According to Rana, those guys are here to help us; for God’s sake, let them.”
Fleur’s mouth dropped open. She pointed at herself. “I’m not acting like a martyr.”
Shelly crossed her arms over her chest and stared back at her. “Really? The definition of a martyr is someone who sacrifices something, like your life, for the sake of principle. Tell me, why did you ask Rana to find her contacts? Why did you agree to meet with them?”
Fleur blinked, and her mouth fell open. “Rana told you?”
“Yeah, she did. Rana was worried she was doing something wrong by contacting them, and then when you said you’d meet them, she wanted a sanity check. She doesn’t want to be cast out of the camp for doing what you asked, which is a real possibility.”
“She shouldn’t have said anything. She won’t be penalized for doing what I asked. She shouldn’t have told you anything.” Fleur crossed her arms. She and Shelly had always had a strong friendship, but she was crossing some lines right now.
Not backing down, Shelly came right at her. “But she did, which was smart because someone needs to talk some sense into you.” Shelly shook her head. “I know you think you’re responsible for everyone here because of your position, but you’re no more responsible than Miller, Tom, Louis, or me. We’re all doing a job with the constraints that this fucked up situation has put us in. Yeah, sure, you coordinated the convoys. So, what? Did you sell the information? Did you attack the convoys? Did you kill those people? Did you leave information out so someone could see where you were going? Did you give whoever attacked the convoy guns or ammo? Did you force this country’s government to be the miserable dicks they are? The answer to all those questions is no. Reality , Fleur. Deal with reality, not your perception of what you could have done or could do.”
Softening a bit, Shelly walked toward her. “You couldn’t have done anything more than what you did. You can’t move these people by yourself. Your heart is as big as this country, but you’re not responsible for the wars, the refugees, or the things this country refuses to do for them. Our job is to do the good that we can, no matter how little or how much. Someone should have noticed you were taking all this on your shoulders, but we didn’t. Well, this is me noticing and telling you to stop it. You can’t be everything to everyone, Fleur. You are not responsible. ”
Tears filled her eyes as Shelly pulled her into her arms. “Don’t take this on your shoulders, sweetie. Don’t.”
Fleur tried not to cry, but it was game over when Shelly started sniffing. She let the tears roll, and after a few moments of struggling to control herself, she said, “I should’ve been able to do something to stop it from happening.”
Shelly took a hold of her shoulders and pushed her back. “How? Do you have a magic wand? Are you God? Have you been given some omnipotent power to change humanity into something other than what it is?”
Fleur let out a strangled laugh, slash sob. “No, none of those things.”
“Then you’ve done everything you could do. Don’t be stupid by trying to be a superhero. You’ll end up getting yourself killed, and whoever you take with you could die, too.”
Fleur rolled her eyes. “Thanks.” Shelly was the second person to call her stupid today. Well, sort of …
Shelly looked at her. “If I were to do what you’re thinking of doing, what would you tell me?”
Fleur stared at her friend. “Not to do it. But I’ve been trained in anti-trafficking. ”
“And I’ve been trained to care for people, so by your rationale, I should be the perfect person to take them through the tunnels, right?”
Fleur blinked and then shook her head. “Why are you fighting me with logic? It sucks when I can’t fight back.”
Shelly put her arm around Fleur’s waist. “That’s me, the logical bitch. Now, take me to the nice American men so I can thank them and let them know the clinic is there for them if they ever need us.”
They walked for a few steps before Fleur mentioned, “Oh, I think they have some supplies for you, too.”
“What?” Shelly jumped ahead of her and stopped her from walking. “Why didn’t you say so sooner?”
Fleur held her hands up to shoulder level helplessly. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe you were scolding me for being stupid and making me realize I may be an idiot. Thanks for that, by the way.”
“Not a problem. Anytime, and I mean that. Now, get the lead out. I want to see what they brought.” She grabbed Fleur’s hand and pulled her forward at a jog.
“You’re insane,” Fleur said as they trotted down the path .
“Certifiably. Just like you. What other type of person leaves the cushion of their middle-class lives and travels halfway around the world to try to make a difference?” Shelly laughed and jumped over a rope that anchored one of the shelters to the ground. “Come on, Fleur, hurry up!”
Fleur jogged a bit faster to catch up with Shelly. The doctor’s joy matched hers when she learned about the fuel and supplies. She couldn’t blame her, now, could she? And she needed to apologize to Ronan. She’d stepped in it big time with him, and she needed to own up to that—time to eat some crow.