The Wedding Wrecker

23. Emma

23

EMMA

" A lright, dish," Maggie said through my phone. "And don't skimp on the details just because you're in a weird place right now."

I glanced around the resort's indoor rock climbing area, where I'd wandered after my disastrous conversation with James. The massive room was mostly empty this late, with just a few die-hard climbers covered in chalk and pulling themselves up by chunks of plastic that were the size of small boogers.

I wasn’t sure how the hell they did it.

I'd come here hoping the physical exertion would clear my head, but three attempts at the beginner wall had only left me with sore arms and an overwhelming desire to cry. I’d also failed to summon the courage to fall onto the thick mat from any higher than about two feet in the air.

Total fail.

"I'm not in a weird place," I said, settling onto a bench. "I'm in a perfectly normal place for someone who keeps making out with the guy who ruined her career. Because he’ll never find me here."

"Oh honey." Maggie's voice softened. "You really like him, don't you?"

"No. Maybe. I don't know." I watched a muscular guy effortlessly scale one of the harder routes without even using his feet. Show off.

"It's complicated," I sighed.

"When isn't it? Come on, start from the beginning. What happened after the pool incident?"

I filled her in on everything—the sleigh ride, the wildlife tour, and especially the conversation at Terry's Tiny Tacos that had made everything so much worse.

"Let me get this straight," Maggie said when I finished. "You basically asked if he thought some relationships were worth fighting for—meaning yours—and he went on about how obstacles only get worse?"

"While talking about his ex-wife," I added miserably. "Who, by the way, married his brother after cheating on him with said brother. And apparently still hooks up with the brother even though she's married to someone else now."

"Jesus. That's some Jerry Springer level drama."

"Right? No wonder he has commitment issues." I picked at a loose thread on my leggings where I’d torn them on a handhold. "But that's kind of the point. He's clearly not over what happened. And even if he was... I mean, look at us. I plan weddings. He ruins them. That's a pretty big obstacle."

"Only if you let it be." Maggie's eye roll was practically audible. "Have you considered that maybe you're both just scared?"

"I'm not scared," I protested. "I'm being realistic. The wedding is in four days, Maggie. Four. Days. And I still don't know if he's going to wreck it."

"Have you asked him?"

"Oh sure, great idea. 'Hey James, quick question—planning to destroy my sister's happiness and my career again, or can I pencil you in for a real date after the reception?'"

"Better than whatever dance you two are doing now," Maggie said. "Admit it. You’re scared. He hurt you once, and you’re worried the second time will be even worse than the first.”

I watched the show-off climber reach the top of his route. "Fine. Maybe I am scared. Happy?"

"Ecstatic. Now we're getting somewhere. What exactly are you afraid of?"

"Everything?" I slumped against the wall. "I'm afraid he'll wreck the wedding. I'm afraid he won't wreck the wedding and my sister will end up married to someone awful. I'm afraid of falling for him only to find out it meant nothing to him. Again ."

"How do you know it didn’t mean anything to him? You two went your separate ways, sure, but who says he hasn’t been pining for you ever since? How do you know the opportunity to jump in and play fake boyfriend wasn’t a dream come true for him?"

I thought about how he'd held me after my fall, the way he'd babied my barely twisted ankle the other day, and how his touch always lingered longer than necessary. I thought of the way he looked at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention.

"Maybe I don’t know ," I admitted. "But actions speak louder than words, and his actions in Ireland?—"

"Were three years ago," Maggie cut in. "People change, Em. Maybe it's time to let go of the past and focus on the present. Like the fact that you're clearly crazy about each other."

"We're not?—"

"Please. You light up when you talk about him. Even when you're complaining."

"I do not."

"You really do. It's disgustingly cute." She paused. "Listen, I get why you're scared. But what if this time is different? What if he's exactly what you need?"

"I don’t even know what I need, Maggie."

"Think about it. You're a perfectionist who needs everything planned down to the minute. He's someone who actively looks for flaws in perfect-looking relationships. Maybe you balance each other out. You can help him see that not everything is doomed to fail, and he can help you take off those rosy glasses once in a while for a dose of realism. And maybe you both can realize that sometimes messy is okay.”

I opened my mouth to argue, then closed it. She... might have a point.

"Plus," Maggie continued, "the sex must be pretty incredible if you keep going back for more."

"Maggie!"

"What? I'm just saying, maybe there's a reason you can't keep your hands off each other. Chemistry like that doesn't come along every day."

I felt my face heat. "We're not... I mean, we haven't actually..."

"Wait, what? All this sexual tension and you haven't sealed the deal yet? What are you waiting for?"

"I mean, we’ve definitely come close. But I thought if we stopped short of full-blown… you know. It might keep things from escalating and getting too complicated too fast. This way, it’s just… casual.” I watched one of the climbers drop from the very top of the wall without a moment of hesitation, landing easily.

I didn’t understand how they did that. What if they land on the mat wrong? What if their body just snaps in half, as bodies tend to do when falling from twenty feet in the air?

Maggie's laugh echoed through the phone. "Honey, there is nothing casual about the way you talk about this man. You're already in deep. The only question is whether you're brave enough to admit it."

I was saved from answering by the appearance of my mother at the entrance to the climbing room. She spotted me and waved, then pointed toward the bar next door. I wondered if she was planning to continue our interrupted conversation about James from earlier.

"I have to go," I told Maggie. "Somehow… my mom found me.”

“Not as sneaky as you thought you were,” Maggie laughed. “Anyway. Think about what I said. And Emma?”

"Yeah?"

"Most of the things worth having are the ones that are scary at first. Wouldn’t you rather know you tried and failed than wonder what would have happened if you gave things a shot? Just something to think about…."

I found my mom at the bar back in the main lobby area, nursing what looked like a gin and tonic. She'd tied her silver hair back in a neat bun, but her usually impeccable makeup was slightly smudged.

“How’d you find me in there?” I asked as I took the seat next to her. I asked the bartender for a water. My failed attempts at climbing had me sweaty and thirsty.

“Trial and error,” my mom said simply.

I grinned. “You okay?” I asked. “I’ve hardly talked to you. And I haven’t even seen dad once. Literally. Not once.”

She smiled into her glass. “He’s doing fine. He started a new book series and I can’t get him to leave the room for anything. But he’ll show for the ceremony. I think, ” she added.

I swallowed. “The ceremony you hired James Carter to sabotage?”

My mom shrank a little, making me immediately feel guilty. “I know… I’m not pretending I know I did the right thing. All I know is I’m trying my best to protect Lily, just like I’d try to protect you. And I hate the way this feels. I’m constantly…” she clutched a fist over her stomach, grimacing. “It’s like my insides are balled up day and night over this. Part of me wants him to find nothing, and the other part doesn’t believe there’s nothing to find. I don’t know if I’ll feel good either way.”

"Have you talked to him? Has he found anything?"

"No. But..." She took a long drink. "I see the way Richard Wellington and Dick slide off and whisper every chance they get. They are hiding something. I just know it.”

"But that doesn't mean Marcus is bad for Lily."

"You really believe that?"

I thought about how happy my sister looked with him. How his face lit up when she entered a room. The way they seemed to orbit each other naturally, like they couldn't help but be drawn together.

And yes, Marcus had a tendency to be on his phone when I wished he’d be more present with Lily. Sometimes, he looked like he was hardly paying attention, even when he was looking right at her. But did any of that mean they shouldn’t get married?

"I think... I think love isn't always perfect." The words felt strange in my mouth. "Sometimes good people come with complicated families. Sometimes the fairy tale has a few rough edges. And maybe the best relationships come from a little compromise and work. I don’t think many of them just arrive perfect right out of the package, you know?"

Mom studied my face. "You sound different."

"Different how?"

"Less... certain. You used to be so black and white about these things. A perfect wedding for the perfect couple leading to the perfect marriage."

I traced patterns in the condensation on my water glass. "Maybe I've been wondering if I was wrong about all that. I’m getting older and I still have yet to meet the perfect guy. How long do I wait before I admit I may be going about it wrong?”

"This wouldn't have anything to do with James, would it?"

Heat crept up my neck. "Mom..."

"I'm not blind, Emma. I see how you look at him. How he looks at you." She covered my hand with hers. "And I see how scared you are."

"I'm not—" I stopped at her knowing look. Why did everybody keep telling me I was scared? "Is it that obvious?"

"Only to someone who knows what it looks like." She squeezed my fingers. "I was the same way with your father. After my first marriage ended so badly, I was terrified to trust anyone again. But sometimes you have to take the leap."

"Even if you might fall?"

"Especially then." She smiled. "The best things in life usually require a little risk."

I groaned. "You sound like Maggie."

"Smart girl, that Maggie." Mom finished her drink and signaled for another. "You know what's funny? I hired James because I was worried about Lily making a mistake. But watching you two... maybe I did you both a favor instead."

"Mom!"

"What? A mother can hope." She accepted her fresh drink with a nod to the bartender. "Although I have to ask—how will you take it if he does wreck the wedding? I hate this for you, Em. I know how hard you’re working to make this all amazing."

“If he does… he better hope he has a damn good reason. That’s all I know. And… well, I care more about Lily and her happiness than my career. So if the wedding isn’t meant to be, maybe I can forgive James for doing what needs to be done.” I dropped my head onto the bar with a thunk. "But can we please talk about literally anything else? Even thinking about this is depressing me on so many levels."

"Fine." She patted my hair. "Want to hear about the time I caught your father trying to alphabetize my spice rack while wearing nothing but an apron?"

I lifted my head. "On second thought, let's go back to discussing my love life."

Mom's laughter drew curious looks from the other patrons, but I found myself smiling too. Here I was, worrying about perfect weddings and perfect timing, when my own parents had found happiness in the messiest way possible.

Maybe Maggie was right. Maybe some things were worth the risk of falling.

I just hoped I was brave enough to take the leap.

And maybe catch myself a wedding wrecker in the process.

If he didn't wreck my sister's wedding first, that is.

Four days. We had four days to figure everything out. Some part of me thought if we didn’t reach a more stable place before the ceremony, whatever fragile thing was building between us wouldn’t survive the outcome.

“Do you mind if I crash in you and dad’s room tonight? I think I need a little distance from James to think about how I want to handle this.”

My mom’s eyes softened. “Of course, sweetie. Just… you should know your dad’s snoring has gotten worse over the years. I have some spare earplugs you can use.”