The Wilderness Bride (Oregon #1)

Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

W hen Lisa woke up again, it was morning. This time, she was aware enough of her surroundings to know that the man hadn’t bothered her during the night. She lifted her head from the pillow and saw that he wasn’t in the cabin.

What time did he wake up? Up until the day she boarded the train to head West, she had slept in until ten, sometimes even eleven. Since then, she’d had to wake up just past dawn. Judging by how much light filtered through the thin curtain at the windows, that’s what time it looked like now. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. The knife was still in her hand. It was a wonder she hadn’t cut herself during the night.

She released her breath. What was she doing here? She had nothing to live for. She should be dead by now. As far as her family was concerned, she no longer existed. The girl she had given birth to in Nebraska would never know her. She hadn’t been able to raise her daughter, but she had been able to pick the family who would raise her. After asking around, she found the right people. A preacher and his wife who couldn’t have children of their own. The five-year-old boy they had adopted seemed happy with them.

She let them name her daughter. They picked the name Sara. Sara Martin. It was a pretty name. A pretty name for a pretty girl. And she knew they would take good care of her.

She wiped the tears that came to her eyes. It was just her luck that as soon as she ate something, the numb feeling that had kept her going shattered all around her. If only she’d had the courage to step off that cliff.

She groaned when she realized her bladder was pressing her to get out of the bed. With a frustrated sigh, she sat up and threw the blankets aside. She started to leave the cabin but decided to put the empty bowl that the soup had been in on the work table. She wasn’t sure what the man wanted to do with it. Well, obviously, he wanted it washed, but there wasn’t a sink where someone could do that. Her bladder pressed her to stop worrying about the bowl, so she left the cabin.

Once again, she didn’t see the man anywhere. She wondered if he was behind that small wooden building. She kept glancing over at it as she took care of business.

This was disgusting. All she’d known while growing up were indoor toilets. Leaving the East Coast taught her how spoiled she’d been. But there was no going back. Unless she could gather the courage to step off that cliff, she was stuck in this rugged territory.

After she was done, she debated what to do with the knife. At the moment, there was no threat. She scanned the trees. She scanned the old leaves that littered parts of the ground. She scanned the paths of dirt that had developed from being frequently trod by human feet. She scanned the grass that grew in patches along the forest floor.

Then she noticed the sound of running water. Holding the knife, she walked up the incline until she spotted a stream that wound its way around some trees. Her gaze returned to the wooden building to the side of the cabin. Now she saw the cellar the man had spoken of.

She hesitated before she walked toward it. Had the man been telling her the truth? Had he been cutting up a wolf yesterday? If she went in there and saw animal meat, then she would know he had told her the truth. She gripped the knife. It did make her feel safer to have the weapon. She didn’t feel quite so vulnerable out here while carrying it.

She reached the two cellar doors that were latched together. She lifted the latch and opened one of the doors. It led down a narrow set of stairs. They didn’t look like they went that deep. If she opened both doors, it might give her enough light to see what was down there. Making sure she was still alone, she moved the other door aside. There. More light poured into the cellar. She gave one more glance behind her then descended the stairs. Even if she had a knife, he could lock her in if he saw her doing this. She must be quick.

She went down the steps. The smell almost convinced her to turn back, but she pressed on. She had to see what was down here. She had to know if she was stuck with a madman. She had never seen the contents of a cellar, so she didn’t really know what to expect. But the hole in the ground was cooler than she thought it’d be, and she saw strips of meat hanging to dry. There was a stack of bones on a small table that had bits of flesh still on them. There was also extra fur that he hadn’t brought to the cabin. She wasn’t an expert in human or animal remains, but she saw no evidence that a human had been cut up and put in there.

She breathed a sigh of relief. Good. She still didn’t know if she could trust him, but at least she knew he would rather cut up animals than people. She turned and hurried back up the steps. To her relief, he was still out of sight. She closed the doors then set the latch back into place. She moved away from the cellar.

She could make another attempt to escape, but she would probably collapse again. She was still weak. And if she collapsed, he’d only find her and bring her back here. Whether she liked it or not, she was stuck here until she could gather the courage to step off the cliff. She wasn’t sure where the cliff was. All she knew was that it couldn’t be too far from here since the stranger had found her.

She released her breath and pushed the stray strands of matted hair that fell across her face. She was a mess. She hadn’t bathed in over a week. She hadn’t brushed her hair in as much time, either. If she had known she would end up being such a coward, she would have tied her hair into a bun to keep it from getting all dirty and tangled. Maybe there was a bowl in the cabin. She could take it to the stream and fill it up with water. Given the slight chill in the air, the water was bound to be cold, but she could manage with a sponge bath.

There was still no sign of the man anywhere. He did exist. He wasn’t a figment of her imagination. He had carried her to the cabin. He had undressed her and put her in his bed. He had cooked soup for her. He had given her the knife she was holding. So where was he? Had he gone to town? She scanned the downward slope of the hill. When she saw no movement between the trees, she gave up. He would appear at some point.

She managed to find a decent enough bowl in the cabin. She also found a cup. She carried both to the stream. After setting the knife on a nearby rock, she filled the cup with water and drank it. She didn’t realize she was so thirsty until she couldn’t make herself stop drinking the cool, refreshing liquid. She dipped the cup into the stream, filled it a second time, and consumed it in the most unladylike way possible. Her parents would be horrified if they could see her now.

Pushing the thought aside, she finished drinking and placed the cup on the ground. She picked up the bowl, edged closer to the stream, and filled the bowl until it was three-fourths of the way to the brim. She managed to get to her feet without losing any water. Too late did she remember the knife and the cup. She could have slipped both into one of her pockets.

She let out a frustrated sigh. The bowl wasn’t that easy to handle. She didn’t feel like putting it down and then picking it back up. Maybe the man would be gone for a while longer. She studied her surroundings. She still didn’t see him. The cabin wasn’t exactly close, but she might be able to take this back and return here before he arrived home.

He hadn’t made a move to hurt her. He had given her a knife for protection. Now that she was more alert, she could think clearly. If he wanted to rape her, he wouldn’t have waited for her to wake up to do it. She had been naked in his bed. There was no evidence he’d been with her. She had been shivering and wet after she fled from the cliff. He had removed her clothes to dry them off, and he had put her in the bed with those blankets to warm her up. His goal had been to rescue her. She couldn’t hold that against him. It wasn’t his fault that her life wasn’t worth living.

A raindrop fell on her cheek. She peered up at the sky and saw clouds rolling in. It had been raining the day she came here. In fact, it had rained so much that she didn’t think it would rain again for quite a while. But another raindrop fell on her face, this time hitting her nose. If she was going to make it to the cabin before the rain really came down, she had to move.

By the time she finished with the sponge bath, the rain was starting to come at a steady pace. At first, she was glad she’d managed to finish washing up before the man returned. But then, she began to worry. She peered out the window. Where was the man? Wouldn’t the rain make him return to the cabin? Just as she was beginning to wonder if she was dreaming all of this, she saw through the window near the bed. He was leading a horse to the wooden building that was close to the barn. The horse was pulling a stack of chopped wood on a contraption she was unfamiliar with.

She thought of the knife and cup she’d left at the stream. Should she run out to get it?

No. She had already concluded that he wasn’t a threat. She would go there after it stopped raining and bring them back here. In the meantime, she decided she would help him.

Since it was raining, she retrieved her cloak and slipped it on. She pulled the hood up and left the cabin. He had pulled the horse up to the side of a canopy that was set up near the wooden building. She hadn’t noticed the platform where a few logs had already been stacked, but then, her attention had been on the cellar. He secured the reins to a post and went to the contraption behind the horse.

She hesitated for a moment before she headed for him. “Do you need help?” she called out when she reached him.

He jerked and turned from the freshly cut wood so he could face her. His eyes grew wide. “Did you just ask if you could help me?”

She felt a smile tug at her lips since she had managed to startle him, but she managed to keep her expression serious. “This looks like a lot of work,” she answered as she went under the canopy to protect herself from the rain.

“This is the easy part,” he replied. “The hard part is cutting the tree up. But it’s work, and work is good.”

It was curious that he should say that. She was sure there was a deeper meaning to his words, but she didn’t know him well enough to ask what that meaning was. “Since it’s the easy part, I should be able to help.”

He stared at her for a long moment, an indication that she had made a good point and he didn’t know how to respond to it.

“It looks like you want to stack them up with these other logs.” She gestured to the few pieces of wood he had lined up near her. “So, do I just pick them up from the contraption you have and place them on the ones already here?”

“Well, yes, you can, but you’d be better off resting in the cabin. I doubt you have your full strength back.”

“I’m bored. I need something to do.” And she didn’t only need it for her body; she needed it for her mind. Not doing something gave her far too much time to think about the past. If there was one thing stepping off that cliff was supposed to do, it was prevent her from thinking about the past. Since she hadn’t mustered up the courage to do that, she had to do this.

He watched as she picked up two logs. Then, something in him seemed to break him out of his shock because he hurried to do the task with her.

They worked in silence until all of the logs were in a neat stack under the canopy. Though the task left her out of breath, she was satisfied with the results. She’d never done anything strenuous before. Work had only been for servants, not someone like her. But being out in the chilly air and dodging the rain as it continued to pound around them had a surprising peace to it. She didn’t even mind the fact that her nails were no longer perfect and that there were places on her palms where the wood had scraped her skin.

“I didn’t think to tell you to wear gloves,” the man spoke.

She looked up from her hands and saw him pull off the gloves he’d been wearing. “If I’d been thinking correctly, I would have given you these.”

She offered him a smile to let him know she was fine, but she did wipe her hands on her cloak to help clean them. “I must have startled you more than I thought if you didn’t think about giving me those gloves to wear.”

“You did. I didn’t think you would come out here while it was raining. I also didn’t think you would approach me. I thought you were afraid of me.”

“Yes, I was. Then it occurred to me that you could have hurt me any time up to now and hadn’t.”

“I have no intention of harming you. I only wanted to save you. I found you unconscious under a tree not too far from the cliff. I’m relieved you made it. For the first couple of hours I wasn’t sure if I found you in time.”

She tried not to think about how close to death she’d gotten. It would have been a painless way to go. She’d been asleep. She wouldn’t have even been aware of slipping from this life to the next. She hid her disappointment. With the way he was smiling, she could see he was happy that she was still alive. She didn’t have the heart to tell him she hadn’t been worth saving.

“You should go back to the cabin,” he told her. “All I have to do is put the travois away.”

She glanced at the contraption behind the horse. So it was called a travois. She wouldn’t have guessed that, but then, she hadn’t grown up out West. While he unfastened the hooks holding the travois to the horse, she pulled the hood of her cloak tighter around her head and returned to the cabin.

She was surprised her dress was only damp around her ankles from all the time she’d spent out there. The cloak that the Omaha preacher and his wife had bought her was better quality than she’d thought. She shoved the memory aside. If she continued to let her mind drift back to Omaha, she’d think of the child she left behind, and she didn’t have the strength to do that right now.

She went to the pitcher on the table and poured it into the bowl. The water was cold. It stung her skin. But it also jerked her back to the present, and that was where she needed to be. She found a bar of soap and washed the dirt and bits of wood from under nails and her hands. She took a deep breath then released it. She scanned the cabin for a cloth to dry her hands but didn’t find it.

After a moment, she shook as much water from her hands as possible then wiped them on her dress. She felt disgusting. She’d been wearing these clothes for well over two weeks. If she had known someone who wished to play the role of a knight was going to drag her here, she would have brought at least one change of clothes.

Her mind went back to the mass of dirty tangles that fell past her shoulders and to the middle of her back. She reached up to touch the golden-red strands. She glanced at the door. The man was still outside. She didn’t think he would mind if she used his comb. She doubted he would have a brush. While his dark hair went down past his neck, he didn’t need to spend the same amount of time and energy taking care of his hair as she did. It turned out she was right. She spotted a comb next to his razor and mirror in the top drawer of his narrow dresser.

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. He had given her a knife to make her feel safe, but the razor could also do some damage if someone wanted to hurt another person. Was that something he hadn’t considered, or was he being cautious in case she used the knife against him? She tapped the edge of the razor. She hadn’t thought about it until now, but he had several days’ worth of beard on his face. So he shaved but not often. She wasn’t sure why that was the case. However, it wasn’t her business. The important thing was that he hadn’t used the razor against her.

She retrieved the comb then shut the drawer. She sat in the only chair that was in the place. It felt like she hadn’t taken care of her hair in ages. What was the rule when dealing with tangles? Start at the ends, use short strokes with the comb, and slowly work her way up? Yes, that was it. She picked a group of strands of her hair then began to comb it. The comb caught onto a tangle and pulled her hair. She gritted her teeth. She tried to make shorter strokes, but after doing this for a couple of minutes and not getting anywhere, she placed the comb on her lap and massaged her scalp.

This was pointless. All she was doing was wasting her time. There was no saving her hair. She might as well chop it all off. Her gaze went to the small dresser where she’d found the razor. The razor would be sharp enough to cut her hair. She stood up, put the comb on the table, and went to the dresser. She pulled out the razor and the mirror. She didn’t have to get rid of all of her hair. She’d cut it off close to her head. She could wear a hat to hide it until it grew out enough to have it properly styled by someone who knew how to make a lady’s hair complement her face.

She stopped her thoughts and shook her head. She wasn’t back East. She was in the wilderness along the Oregon coastline. She doubted anyone out here even had the kind of money that afforded them a maid. The man who owned this cabin certainly didn’t. She had no money. She didn’t even have anywhere to go. The only reason she had a roof over her head at the moment was because the man had brought her here. Even if she didn’t want to be alive, it meant something to him that she was.

She shook her head again. This line of reasoning wasn’t helping her any more than her previous thoughts had. What she needed to do was concentrate on the moment. She would cut her hair in order to get rid of the mass of tangles that were too hard for her to resolve.

She put the mirror on the table and tilted it against the wall so she could get a good view of herself. She sat on the bed and shifted until she could see her reflection. She grimaced at the image that stared back at her. It was hard to believe that, once upon a time, she actually enjoyed looking at the person in the mirror. Forcing her attention to her hair, she lifted the razor.

Before she could cut her hair, the door opened and the man gasped.

She turned in his direction. “I couldn’t find scissors. I need to cut my hair.” She gestured to her tangles. “I can’t comb these out.”

He stepped into the cabin and motioned for her to put the razor down. “I can get the tangles out.” He paused then added, “If you’ll let me.”

Since she didn’t want to lose her hair, she nodded and set the razor on the table.

He closed the door then removed his coat and gloves. “If you’ll sit at the edge of the bed, I’ll get some oil.”

She hesitated to do as instructed. Her gaze went to the chair, but right away, she could see why it wouldn’t work for her to sit there while he worked through her tangles. The back of the chair was too high. There was no other place to sit than the bed in this cabin, and given the rain pouring outside, he couldn’t do it out there.

What did it matter if he used this as an excuse to give into his baser instincts? It wasn’t like she was a virgin. She had no virtue to lose. Not that she wanted to be with a man in bed. If she never had another intimate moment with someone, that would suit her just fine.

Exhaling, she settled on the edge of the bed and waited to see what he would do. When she saw him go over to a shelf on the other side of the cabin, she relaxed. Maybe she would get past this without having to go through with something she’d later regret.

She turned her back to him as he approached with a bottle. “What’s in that bottle?”

“Macassar oil.”

“Macassar oil?” She glanced over her shoulder. Her father had used that type of oil, and if she recalled right, it wasn’t exactly cheap. How could he afford something like that?

“This will smooth out your tangles.” He offered her a grin that revealed nice, white teeth.

She blinked in surprise. She hadn’t seen many men west of the Missouri River who had teeth that nice.

He opened the bottle and poured a small amount of the oil onto the palm of his hand. He then gave her the bottle before he rubbed both of his palms together. “There will still be some discomfort as I en your hair, but this will eliminate most of it.”

When he started to pat the oil in her hair, she turned her back to him. If he could save her hair, that would be wonderful. Her hair had always been the feature she liked most when it came to her looks.

As he gently worked through some tangles with his fingers, she picked up on the sweet scent from the oil. “Are you from here?” she asked.

“I’ve been here for five years.”

“Where did you come from?”

He didn’t answer. She almost looked back at him to see if the question had bothered him, but he started to work the comb slowly through her tangles. As he warned, it was still uncomfortable. She winced, and he apologized before using shorter strokes on her hair.

After a long moment, he said, “If you can believe it, I’m from Rhode Island.”

She almost asked him what had brought him all the way to Oregon then thought better of it. He might also ask her why she was here, and if that happened, she would have to lie. She was tired of lying. All she wanted to do was forget the past. Ideally, she’d work up the courage to step off that cliff. Then she’d never remember the past ever again.

“What about you?” he asked. “Where did you come from?”

“Vermont,” she reluctantly answered, praying he wouldn’t ask more than that.

Thankfully, he said, “I bet you didn’t expect Oregon to be this rugged.”

Despite the grim situation that had brought her here, she laughed. “This is definitely a lot different than where I’m from.”

“Me too.” He continued to work the comb through her hair. “Do you have somewhere to go? I assume you didn’t make the trip all the way out here for nothing.”

She hid her apprehension. That had been one of the questions she’d been afraid he would ask. Though it wasn’t the best way to avoid answering the inquiry, she opted to turn the topic back to him. “I was going to ask you the same thing. I notice you have a cabin all the way out here—among a lot of trees. But there’s no one else here. Did you make the trip out here to be alone?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I did.”

His voice was so soft she barely heard him. Deciding to keep the conversation off of herself, she said, “I came here with three others. A mother with her grown daughter and son. They told me they were making the trip all the way out here to see a relative. I don’t remember the details. Either the relative was a cousin or the mother’s brother or a relation in some other way.” Funny. Now that she thought about it, they hadn’t seemed to agree on the same story. If there really was a relative, shouldn’t they have pointed to the same one? At the time, she hadn’t cared what their story was. Now, she couldn’t help but wonder if they had told her the truth.

“I bet that relative came out for gold. Or maybe they came for silver or copper. A lot of people come to the eastern part of this state and make their way west once the minerals dry up.”

She’d only heard about the gold rush out in this part of the country, so she couldn’t comment on that point. But he did give her something to talk about that would keep the topic safely off of her. “Have you tried to find anything like gold out here?”

“No, I’m only here to exist.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. He was only here to exist? That sounded a lot like what she was doing.

She started to turn her head to look at him, but he stopped her. “If you move now, it’s going to hurt. I have too much of your hair in my hands.”

“Oh. Sorry.” She kept her face directed toward the wall in front of her. “Do you like it here?”

“I do. It’s peaceful.”

“How do you survive out here?”

“I hunt animals. I don’t eat all of their meat. I share it with others. In return, they give me some things I can use.”

“There are other people nearby?”

“Sure, I’m not the only person in Oregon. Others exist here, too.”

She caught the amusement in his voice and gave an amused roll of her eyes. “I know there are other people in Oregon. I did pass through the small town on my way up this hill. I was just wondering where the people are. All I’ve seen are trees.” On her way up the hill, she hadn’t spotted a single cabin. Even here, she had no idea how far from the cliff they were. “I feel like this place exists all by itself.”

“I suppose it does in a way.” He finished working on one side of her head and turned his attention to the other side. “I picked the most isolated spot I could find.”

“So, you don’t like people then?”

She felt him shrug as he combed through her tangles. “People don’t bother me. I just like knowing I’m not disrupting anyone’s life, that’s all.”

He had disrupted hers when he brought her here, but she realized he had meant to rescue her. She supposed anyone in his situation would have done the same thing. A person’s need to save others seemed to be instinctive, except when that person’s reputation was at stake. She forced back the image of her parents’ scowls when she confessed her sin to them. Right then and there, she knew they weren’t going to forgive her. But she also hadn’t believed they would get rid of her, either.

“I’m done,” he said.

She brought her hands up to her hair as he hurried to retrieve the mirror. She felt the silky strands of her hair. Usually, her hair had a natural wave to it, but the oil made it hang straight down her back. No doubt, that would be resolved once she washed it with some soap. But that could wait until she figured out where she was going to live, unless she could finally muster up the courage to step off that cliff.

“What do you think?” he asked her.

The question dragged her back to the moment. He was holding a mirror out to her. She thanked him then took it. She missed the waves, but she was delighted he had resolved every single tangle. She wouldn’t have to cut her hair. She would get to keep it.

“Thank you,” she told him. “I didn’t want to cut it.”

“I didn’t want you to do that, either. You have beautiful hair. It’s like the halo around an angel’s head.”

She almost laughed at the compliment. Imagine someone referring to her as an angel. If he only knew… She pushed aside the sting of knowing she was not, nor ever would be again, a virtuous lady. “I appreciate you saving my hair.”

He put the comb, razor, and mirror back in the drawer and shut it.

The silence that fell between them was an awkward one. They’d had a pleasant exchange while he’d been working through the tangles in her hair, even though she’d had to find ways to deter him from asking her too many questions. But now, her mind drew a blank on what to say next. Back in Vermont, people would have been surprised to see her at a loss for words. But so much had happened since then. She was no longer the person she used to be. She couldn’t imagine that she’d ever get back to being that person ever again.

“The day is half over,” the man said with a glance out the window. “If you’re hungry, I’ll cook a couple of steaks, and that will see us through the rest of the day. Tomorrow, if you’re up for it, I can take you to where you need to be.”

She took a deep breath and slowly released it. The only place she could go to was the cliff, but she didn’t think he’d like that. She wound her slick hair around one of her fingers as she struggled to come up with a way to answer him that wouldn’t alarm him.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

Glad he had chosen to focus on that instead of where she would be going tomorrow, she nodded.

He smiled. “Good. I’m glad to see you have an appetite. Be glad I have fresh wolf meat. The fresher the meat, the better the steaks. I even have salt to give it more flavor.”

She couldn’t recall the last time she’d had steak, but her stomach growled in response. Her face warmed. He hadn’t heard that, had he?

Fortunately, he gave no indication of hearing it as he retrieved his wet coat and slipped it on. “I’ll be back with the steaks.” He gathered the gloves, and she thought he was going to head out, but then he glanced over his shoulder and said, “My name is Ashley, by the way.”

“I’m Lisa.”

She waited to see if he would inquire about her last name, but he didn’t. He simply gave her a nod then left the cabin. Relieved, she got up to wash her hair.