The Wilderness Bride (Oregon #1)

Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

S aturday evening, Ashley boiled water and poured it into a tub that was in his workshop He turned to Lisa, who silently stood by him.

“I don’t know how you’re used to bathing,” he began, “but out here, we use this tub and these.” He set a couple of clean cloths on the table with a bar of soap. He set the towel on the hook by the door. “This is the only towel I have for bathing. I’d like for you to hang it back up so I can use it when it’s time for my bath, alright?”

Lisa nodded.

He glanced at the windows. “To be honest, I never thought I would need window coverings. All I can do is assure you that I’m not going to take this opportunity to peek in on you. I’ll be in the cabin. I won’t come here until you’re done.”

“I understand,” Lisa said.

She waited until he left. On impulse, she went over to the window. She was surprised to see that he meant what he said—that he really did go to the cabin. So few people honored the words they spoke.

Recalling the hot water, she set down the new dress and undergarments then removed the clothes she currently had on. Hot water—even the kind that had been boiling—would not stay hot for long. She was still on her flow, but it had slowed to the point where she could safely bathe without getting blood on the floor. She was still embarrassed when she thought of him washing blood out of her clothes and the bedding. She hoped nothing like that ever happened again.

She dipped into the tub then washed up as fast as she could. The water was very hot, but she could manage. It was preferable to the pitiful attempts she’d made to wash up at the cold stream. When water was that cold, it was impossible to feel clean. She took the second cloth and the soap then worked up a good lather.

She didn’t know what to make of Ashley. The two didn’t say much. Their conversations were restricted to the daily life-to-life activities like cleaning clothes, deciding what to eat, and him letting her know he was chopping or delivering wood. They never spoke of anything personal. She suspected the reason he didn’t say much to her was that she didn’t say much to him.

But she didn’t want to go into any details about her past. She didn’t want to tell anyone about it. What she most wanted to do was forget it ever happened. Stepping off the cliff would have been an easier way to forget, but since she was stuck in the land of the living, she had to make a conscious effort to push all of those memories down. But she supposed in doing that, she was preventing this marriage from meaning anything.

She took a deep breath and steadied her resolve to finish this bath in a timely manner. She’d like to leave Ashley with warm water, if possible.

She hadn’t expected to feel much cleaner than she had when she tried washing up at the stream, but, to her surprise, she felt as clean as she used to feel in Vermont when she’d had access to plumbing that brought water directly into her home. Despite herself, she must be getting used to living in crude conditions.

When she was done washing up, she hurried to dry herself with the towel then got dressed. She returned to the cabin and let Ashley know the water was still warm. He thanked her for leaving him with warm water before he headed out. She watched him as he made his way to the workshop.

It was ironic how, in this desolate wilderness, she came across someone who was the very definition of a gentleman. Since the moment she met him, he had put her needs before his. How would things have been different if he had been in Vermont instead of Preston?

* * *

Lisa squirmed in the wooden seat in the schoolhouse that also served as a church in this town. The preacher had placed a cross above the blackboard, and though the thing couldn’t be larger than the size of a man’s hand, she found it difficult to avoid looking at it. What made things worse was the man giving the sermon. She was certain he was directing his message directly to her.

“The wages of sin are death.” Preacher Ryder lifted the Bible. “Do not be deceived. God is not mocked. Whatsoever a man sows, that is what he will reap.”

Why didn’t the preacher just throw the Bible right at her and tell everyone that she wasn’t as pure as the others in this town? He must know about her. Someone must have told him. He traveled around. He met a lot of people. Maybe he had been to Omaha. Maybe he ran into the preacher who adopted her daughter. How many lone women could a preacher possibly know who left Vermont because she was carrying an illegitimate child?

“We need to live a holy life,” the preacher went on. “Whatever causes us to sin must be dealt with. If your hand causes you to sin, you must cut it off. If your eye causes you to sin, you must pluck it out. If your foot causes you to sin, you must cut it off. Whatever it is, you must get rid of it if you are to stand before a holy and righteous God. You’re better off removing the offense than to burn in the fires of Hell where there will be constant gnashing of teeth and bitter weeping.”

Lisa couldn’t take it anymore. She might be sitting at the back of the schoolhouse, but she had to get out of here before he pointed a finger at her and demanded that everyone do something horrible to her, like stone her. She began to cough and then kept coughing until she noticed that people were starting to get annoyed. As soon as that happened, she felt free to stand up and leave the schoolhouse. She didn’t stop coughing until she was safe outside.

With a relieved sigh, she made her way to a bench on the edge of the schoolhouse lawn and collapsed on it. The tears came without warning, and she had to brush them away with the sleeve of the thick dress Nona had given her. Would there never be an end to people condemning her for not waiting until marriage to be intimate with a man? She already knew it was wrong. She’d already confessed her sin. So why did the condemnation keep coming? Wasn’t there anything in that large book the preacher kept holding up about forgiveness?

“He doesn’t know when to stop his fire and brimstone talk, does he?”

Lisa gasped and looked over her shoulder. She relaxed when she saw that Ashley was the one who was approaching her. He was so quiet. She hadn’t even heard him follow her out of the schoolhouse.

He sat next to her, pulled a handkerchief from the nicest shirt he owned, and gave it to her. She accepted it and dabbed at the remaining tears in her eyes.

“He’s always like this,” Ashley said, his voice soft. “This is why I don’t like coming to church. He’s never once given a sermon that leaves anyone feeling good. Take a look at the people when the service is over. Every single one of them will look glum. All we can do is wait for him to leave town.”

“How long does he stay?”

“Three weeks to a month.”

She grimaced. “That long?”

“I’d like to say the time will pass quickly, but you’ll feel like it’s been half a year by the time he finally leaves.” He paused for a moment then put his arm around her shoulders. “I know it’s not easy, but try not to let him bother you. You and I know we weren’t doing anything wrong.”

If only that was the worst of her problems. But he didn’t know. He would only know if she told him, and she didn’t feel like talking about it. All she wanted to do was forget. Forget the past and all the heartache that went with it.

“I think we’ve heard enough for today,” Ashley added. “Let’s go home. We came to church. He saw us. We did our good deed for the week.”

Her gaze went to the schoolhouse. “Do you think he’ll come to the cabin if we leave early?”

“I hope not, but I can set out some traps to stop him if he does.”

Despite the grim situation, she found herself smiling. “What kind of traps?”

“Well, I could dig some holes and cover them. Or I could set out a net that will snatch him up into a tree when he steps into it. I’d set out some crosses and Bibles to lure him to it.”

She chuckled. “I’d be tempted to ask him to come out in order to see if such a trap would work.”

The corner of his lips curled up. He stood up and helped her to her feet. “The sooner we get out of here, the sooner we avoid seeing him again. At least for today.”

Since she was eager to get as far from the preacher as she could, she ran with him to the horse. It wasn’t until they slipped into the trees that took them up the hillside that she finally felt a reprieve from everything she’d done in her past.

* * *

“I’m happy to help in any way I can,” Nona assured Lisa as Nona slipped the needle through the fabric of the dress she had given Lisa. “Now, you don’t want to prick your thumb, so watch where the needle is going.” She turned the hem of the dress around so Lisa could see where the needle was poking out. “I have a thimble, but I don’t like to use it.”

“Why not?” Lisa asked.

Nona shrugged. “Not sure, really. It doesn’t hinder anything. I guess it just feels unnatural on my thumb.”

Lisa smiled at the woman’s response. She tucked her hair behind her ear and glanced around the cozy home Nona and Boone shared. It had curtains framing the windows, a couple of decorations on the walls, and a pretty blanket draped across the back of the couch where she and Nona were sitting.

The window nearby was cracked open to let some fresh air in. It was still on the chilly side, but the first day of summer hadn’t come yet. That would be another couple of weeks. Lisa couldn’t believe she was now living in Oregon. How her life had changed in the course of a year.

Nona pulled the thread back into the dress, and Lisa focused on what she was doing so she would be able to do this in the future. Ashley, Nona, and Boone must wonder why she didn’t know how to do this. She kept waiting for one of them to ask her about it. But that morning when she asked Ashley if she could have Nona’s help with the hem of this dress, he hadn’t asked questions, and she wasn’t going to volunteer the information.

She was quickly learning that he was willing to act as if she never had a past. He was allowing her to keep her secrets to herself. She was so relieved about it that she didn’t inquire into his past, either. Perhaps he had his own secrets to hide. She sensed a sorrow in him. She was certain she’d caught a heavy sigh that had escaped from his lips the other night while in bed. When she’d glanced over at him, he had wiped something from his eye. And what would someone wipe from their eye except a tear?

“Boone and I are glad you’re here,” Nona said as she continued to hem the dress. “Poor Ashley’s been all by himself in that cabin. It has to get lonely for him. A man shouldn’t be living out here without a wife. We tried to talk him into posting one of those mail-order bride ads, but he wouldn’t do it.”

“The preacher made us get married. Ashley never touched me. It isn’t like what the preacher and the McCormicks said.”

“Oh, I know Ashley wasn’t doing the kinds of things the preacher was saying.”

Lisa’s eyebrows furrowed. Kinds of things? That sounded like the preacher was accusing her and Ashley of doing more than sharing a bed. Exactly what more was he adding to that? And did she really want to know?

No, she didn’t want to know. Deciding to turn the conversation away from her and Ashley, Lisa asked, “Do you like the preacher?”

“Well, I can tell he has fire in him. He’s eager to go out and do his job. But he’s young. He lacks experience. There are a lot of things he thinks he knows that he doesn’t. I have a feeling that time will take care of that. God has a way of giving us the lessons we need when the time is right.” Her gaze met Lisa’s. “I realize the preacher forced you and Ashley to marry. I’m not pleased by the way the preacher handled things. I am hopeful, however, that this will turn into a blessing for you both.” She let go of the needle and placed her hand on Lisa’s arm. “You seem like a nice girl, and a nice girl ought to be paired up with a nice boy.” She patted her arm then resumed her sewing. “Maybe it’s my age, but I find that the older I get, the more romantic I become.”

The door opened, and Ashley and Boone stepped into the cabin with a goat that Boone held in place with a rope. “Look what we caught,” Boone called out with an excited grin on his face. “Now we can have milk whenever we want!”

Nona let out a gasp. “How did you catch it?”

“Ashley set out some of those net traps, and it walked right into it,” Boone replied.

Recalling what Ashley had said about setting traps for the preacher, Lisa hid the urge to chuckle.

Nona finished the hem she’d been working on before she went over to the goat. “What a marvelous find! But,” she turned her attention to Boone, “shouldn’t this go to Ashley since he set the traps?”

“I already told Boone to take it,” Ashley assured her. “If another one stumbles into a net, I’ll take it.”

Lisa wasn’t sure what was so great about having a goat. Up until this moment, she hadn’t even known goats produced milk. There was so much she had to learn about living out here. And that included mending clothes. She picked up the dress and studied the work Nona had done. Lisa wondered if she was going to be able to do a job this good on the other dress Nona’s daughter used to wear.

Nona left the goat and checked the stew on the stove. “It’s done,” she told the group. “I hope everyone is hungry.”

Ashley approached Lisa’s shoulder, and she looked up at him. “Her stew is one of the best I’ve ever had. You’re in for a treat.”

If the smell was anything to go by, Lisa believed him. She set the dress aside on the couch and accepted his hand. The way he held her hand made her think of the dinner parties she used to attend in Vermont. The men back there would hold her hand just like this.

She knew Ashley came from Rhode Island, but she doubted he had attended dinner parties like she had. She was only comparing the way he was holding her hand to the way the men back there had held her hand because, for all intents and purposes, this was a dinner party. Sure, it wasn’t a formal affair where people dressed in their best and danced afterward, but it was still a dinner party.

What irony. She had run from one end of the United States to the other, and she felt as if she’d just come full circle. She shook off the memory of that time in her life. Vermont was a lifetime away. There was no going back. And if she could go back, she wouldn’t. She might not have had the courage to step off that cliff, but as far as those people were concerned, she was dead.