Epilogue
TEN MONTHS LATER
Danny
“We can definitely cross that one off the list. The kitchen cupboards were mouldy as fuck! And who the fuck puts carpet in the bathroom? Wankers, that’s who,” I said as I climbed back into the car, pulling a face as I remembered the state of the kitchen.
That was the seventh property that Ezra and I had looked at as a potential place to rent together, and all of them had been shit.
Maybe it was naive of me, but I hadn’t expected it to be this hard.
“That second bedroom was too small as well,” Ezra said, frustration evident on his face. “I don’t think I’d even be able to get a desk in there.”
“Not a proper one anyway.”
He chuckled, because we both knew he’d need something sturdy.
We’d already broken the small one he’d bought for his flat, and it was currently being held together with duct tape and glares.
I hadn’t even been putting that much weight on it when it’d cracked!
Fucking cheap-ass chipboard piece of shit.
“We have two more to look at today,” he said as he looked at his phone.
“What’s the betting both of them will be shit? ”
“Like ninety percent? At this point I’m not sure we’ll find anything.”
“We will, puppy. I promise.” He leant across the console and kissed me, his fingers squeezing my thigh.
I was trying not to feel miserable and hopeless about the whole thing, but the longer our search went on, the more I felt like we were never going to find anything.
If all else failed, Ezra could move into my flat—he already spent enough time there—but it was pretty small with only one bedroom, and we both agreed we’d be too on top of each other.
While we loved spending time together, we also wanted to have a bit of our own space.
Besides, we needed to make sure we had enough room for Ezra’s extensive wardrobe, which had only gotten bigger over the last year. He’d managed to get some more of his stuff back from his ex, but he’d also treated himself to a couple of shopping sprees to celebrate his divorce being final.
The whole process hadn’t been amicable, and eventually Ezra had given in and blocked Reed to force him to go through their solicitors.
But by that point, Ezra seemed to have made peace with the end of that part of his life, and as painful as it was to see his marriage end in a torrent of verbal abuse, at least it was over.
The house in Manchester had been sold and the money split between them, and Ezra had recovered a few of his favourite belongings but let the rest go to Reed.
I knew losing the house hurt, because Ezra had clearly loved it, but he’d said that even if part of him wanted it back, the whole place was tainted now, and it would be like moving into a haunted house.
It was partly why I wanted us to find a nice place to rent, so we could start building a new life together. Yeah, he might not be allowed to gut it and redecorate, but it would be the first step. Then maybe we could look at buying something in another year or two. I wasn’t in any rush. We had time.
“Where’s the next one?” I asked, since Ezra had the list of our appointments. He gave me the postcode and I put it into my maps app.
“If neither of these are any good, we can wait a few weeks before we look again,” Ezra said as I pulled the car out onto the road. “I think it might be a bit much trying to balance appointments with Charlie’s wedding and Crete.”
“Yeah, and knowing my luck I’d pack my suit in a box somewhere.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure your suit is safe.”
“But not the rest of my clothes?”
“I’m not sure you need the rest of them, do you?” he asked with a teasing smile, his fingers trailing up my thigh as I drove.
“I don’t wanna get a sunburned arse.”
“You won’t if you don’t go outside.”
I snorted. His point was a good one, though. “So what, we’re going all the way to Crete for you to keep me in bed for two weeks?” Not that I objected. Ezra’s plan sounded fun.
“Hmm, I suppose not. The hotel does have a very nice restaurant, and I want to see that pretty arse of yours in a pool.”
“Do you think this is the sort of place I can have a pool floatie? I want one of the giant doughnuts so I can float in the pool while sipping cocktails and tanning.” I’d done that with Jade last year and it had been so much fun.
“Maybe, but if not, we have a small private pool attached to our room. I’ll get you one and order some cocktails from room service.”
I shot him a grin. “You spoil me.”
“You’re very spoilable, puppy,” he said, returning the smile with a warmth that made my stomach flip.
The being spoilt thing still caught me off guard at times, because I’d never been in that position before and once or twice it had made me uncomfortable for reasons I’d struggled to put into words.
Eventually, after a lot of talking it through with Charlie, Ezra, and Devon—who’d actually helped me hit the nail on the head—I’d realised it was because I’d always been told it would be my job to spoil my wife or girlfriend, and being spoilt by Ezra made a lot of ugly internalised homophobia rear its head.
It still threw me now and then, but I was getting better at dealing with it. Especially thanks to a few therapy sessions with Wayne, which gave me a few tools to get a handle on it.
“As long as you let me spoil you too,” I said, turning the car onto a side street as we wound our way across the city.
“Oh no, how terrible that will be,” he said. “Having a sexy young man spoiling me while we’re in a luxury hotel in Crete. However will I cope?”
“Don’t be a dick or you won’t get anything!”
“We both know you won’t be able to keep that up. You love me too much.”
“I do. I really do,” I said, brushing my fingers against his as we stopped at some traffic lights. I’d never imagined being in love like this. Love had seemed like a fantasy or a dream, something other people experienced but not me.
Not because I wasn’t romantic or thought I couldn’t fall in love, but because I’d spent so long trying to force myself into a box that was never going to fit.
I’d spent years pushing down my feelings and desires, convincing myself that if I tried hard enough or found the right woman, then everything would click.
But that would never have been possible, and if I’d kept forcing myself down that path, I’d have ended up broken, miserable, and alone.
Or trapped in a loveless, sexless relationship for the sake of appearances.
Following Ezra into that bar had been the best decision I’d ever made. Or the first of many good ones. Either way, that day had changed my life for the better and given me things I’d never dreamed of.
He was my everything. There was no other way to put it.
I’d been a bit worried about telling Jade and my grandad about him—and the whole being gay thing in general—and I’d ended up bottling it up for weeks until it had all come spewing out when Jade had come up for a visit last November.
I’d taken her out for cocktails and been so nervous I’d necked three Long Island Iced Teas.
Which meant instead of telling her in a calm, relaxed way, I’d said, “Did you know I’m gay and I really like sucking dick? ”
Jade had just grinned at me and said, “You always did like putting things in your mouth.”
I was pretty sure she’d never let me live the whole night down, but mostly because I’d then gone on a whole tangent about how much I loved Ezra. I’d tried to deny it, but she’d filmed me so she could show me the next morning when I was hungover as fuck and could barely crawl off the sofa.
Although that hangover was nothing compared to the one I’d had when I’d first met Shane and Eric, and they’d taken me and Ezra out for dinner and drinks.
I still couldn’t remember when or how the night had ended, but I had vague memories of having a very in-depth conversation with Shane about sex toys.
Apparently, we’d also discovered we liked a lot of similar things, but I didn’t remember all of that.
I did like Shane and Eric a lot though, and Shane had said, more than once, that he loved me and Ezra together. He thought we were very good for each other. And I had to agree.
Grandad had said something similar when I’d ended up taking Ezra down for Sunday lunch not long after I’d first told him, because of course Grandad had insisted on meeting him.
Grandad had immediately approved, told Ezra all the local gossip, and the three of us now had a group chat so Grandad could keep us updated with everything.
Like Jade, he hadn’t seemed particularly surprised, just happy that I was happy.
I’d asked him about if he’d tell my dad, because I was nervous he’d somehow find out and try to contact me to make my life hell, but all Grandad had said was, “Why the bloody hell would I do that?”
“Are you sure this is it?” I asked as we pulled up outside the next house, a beautiful golden-stoned building right on the doorstep of Lincoln Cathedral. Like, right fucking next to it.
“Yes, Minster Yard,” Ezra said, double-checking the details on his phone. “It might be a bit big for us, though, because it’s got four bedrooms. But the photos look nice.”
“Yeah, but so did the last one.”
“True. Maybe we’ll get lucky, though.”
We climbed out of the car and Ezra slid his hand into mine as we walked towards the front door, where we were immediately greeted by someone from the estate agents.
My stomach bubbled as I tried not to get my hopes up, because we’d been in this position so many times and each one had turned out to be shit.
Ezra nodded as we walked through the door into an entrance hall with beautiful pale green walls and hardwood floors, a long set of stairs on one side.
The first thing I noticed was how clean it was.
I mean, there was a bit of dust on the skirting boards, but that was kind of to be expected if it had been empty for a while.
But the whole place gave off a vibe of being well loved and well cared for.
The rooms were clean too and nicely decorated, and while there was a little bit of dirt ingrained in the kitchen floor, it was nothing a good scrub wouldn’t take care of.
Yeah, the house was big and maybe we didn’t need so much space, but there was something about it that felt welcoming and comfortable.
I could see Ezra working in the study, with its built-in floor-to-ceiling bookshelves and a bay window overlooking the cathedral, the two of us making dinner and drinks in the kitchen before stretching out on the sofa in front of the fireplace while we watched every sport we could find, and curling up in bed together after he’d fucked me senseless.
“What do you think?” Ezra asked, putting one arm around my waist as I looked out the bedroom window at the cathedral, trying to imagine what living here would be like.
“I like it,” I said, looking up at him and smiling. “Yeah, it’s big and a bit expensive, but it’s not like we can’t afford it. And we’ll be able to use the space. We can turn that third bedroom into a dressing room for you. Maybe make one of them into a little home gym too.”
“That’d be nice,” he said. “And then we’d still have a spare bedroom for when people inevitably descend on us.”
“You mean when Jade and Shane wanna come and have a nosy?”
“Exactly.”
I laughed and put my arms around him. “You like it then?”
“I do. It’s got a few faults, but nothing this old is going to be perfect.”
“Like you then?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Don’t be a brat.”
“But you like me being a brat,” I said, brushing my lips against his teasingly. “You think it’s cute.”
“Mmm, I think it’s something. Not sure I’d say cute.”
“I would.” I kissed him, a deep feeling of happiness spreading through me. “I love you.”
“I love you too, puppy.” He kissed me again. “Shall we ask about how we put in an application?”
“Yeah, let’s do it. Fuck it, we can balance moving with our holiday and Charlie’s wedding.”
Ezra slipped his hand into mine as he pulled me towards the stairs so we could find the estate agent and talk about next steps. Then I was going to suggest we went back to my flat where I could test out how bratty Ezra would let me be today.
Fuck, I was getting hard just thinking about it. But I loved it when he made a mess of me.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he whispered as our footsteps echoed on the stairs, twisting his head so he could brush his mouth across my ear.
“If you’re good, I’ll let you suck my cock as soon as we get home.
I might even let you get yourself off while you do.
You know how much I love watching you make a mess for me.
If you do, I’ll fuck you later before we go to bed, just to make sure you’re filled up for the night. Would you like that?”
“Yes,” I said with a nod, my face flushing as I bit back a groan. I couldn’t believe he was saying this shit here, but then I had been pushing his buttons. And Ezra was very good at giving it back when I was a brat. It was something I loved about him.
“Good. Then let’s go get the application sorted so I can take you home.”
Fuck me, if this was going to be the rest of my life, then it was going to be pretty fucking awesome.
Forever had never sounded more fun.
The End