The Winner Takes All (Complete Collection)

43. Heavy Lifting

43

HEAVY LIFTING

Beck

After Jason takes off for practice, I leave, grab lunch at a nearby sandwich shop, and review my “homework” from Rosemary. I write down some notes outlining my thoughts and then the things I plan to say to my teammates.

Then I return to the facility and head to the weight rooms at the end of the east corridor, texting Carter to meet me there, adding, I have something to tell you.

His reply is swift. That sounds ominous!

When I reach the smallest and least busy of the weight rooms, I peer in the window first, assessing the situation.

Carter’s doing bench presses, and he’s the only one there. Good. Friends first.

I’m going to tackle this task one by one. I open the door and head to the weight bench, girding myself for another coming out. I got through the others; I’ll get through this.

“And... one thousand reps,” Carter says facetiously, then sets the dumbbell on the bar and sits up on the bench. “I am a beast.”

“Amazing that you can bench and text,” I say drily. Then I go serious as I stand next to him.

He studies my face. “What’s going on? You good after sitting out the auction? Oh! Sasha bid on me like you said. That was brilliant.”

“I’m glad things are going well with your woman. And thanks for understanding why I didn’t go.” I inhale and take the first baby step of my confession. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to be pissed at me for this, but I want you to be the first one to know.”

He frowns. “What’s going on?”

“I’m involved with Jason,” I say, then I add, “McKay.” Like I could mean any other Jason. “We’ve been seeing each other on and off most of the season.”

Carter doesn’t move. I’ve shocked him into statue-hood on the weight bench. Then, after an eternity, he chokes out, “For real?”

Shit. This is bad. But I’ve practiced, and I’m determined to push through this uncomfortable moment.

It won’t be as bad as I think.

“Yes. For real. He’s”—I stop to catch my breath because I’ve never said these words out loud to anyone—“my boyfriend.”

It’s like putting on a new pair of shoes that don’t quite fit at first. But soon, I’ll get used to them.

“Dude,” he says, his tone thick with disappointment.

My stomach craters. If he’s not on my side, I have no chance with the other guys. But I’ve dealt with being a loner before. I can do it again if I have to. My nerves settle. “I know it probably bothers you that I’m involved with a rival,” I say, taking my time to lay out the facts. “But I want to reassure you I’m not sharing the playbook with him. I don’t trade game secrets. I swear I’d never do that. My football loyalty is to the Renegades.”

Carter scoffs. “I know that,” he says, like I’m an idiot for suggesting it.

“Then, what’s wrong?” I ask, confused.

Standing, he drags his hand through his hair as if he can untangle his annoyance that way. “You didn’t tell me sooner. You didn’t trust me,” he says, hurt. “You told me you weren’t dating, but you were seeing him all along and you thought I couldn’t handle the truth.”

I never imagined Carter would be devastated to be left out of the inner circle. But I don’t have an inner circle to be part of.

“That’s not it,” I press. “I didn’t tell anyone. I was afraid of what people would think.”

He stabs his chest. “ I’m people. I don’t care that he’s your rival. You’re my guy, and I look out for you, but you couldn’t even tell me.”

My heart twists. His points are completely fair. “I’m sorry, Carter. I didn’t know how to deal with everything—the new team and the move, and then I met this guy I’d had a crush on for years, and he liked me too. It was all so overwhelming. I think I was afraid if I said anything to anyone I’d ruin what was happening,” I admit. “It’s way harder to tell you this than it was to tell you I was withdrawing from the auction because I wasn’t comfortable being on stage. And hey, you’re the only one who knew about the auction.”

He scoffs, but a smile sneaks through for a second. He’s softening. I think . “Did you back out of the auction because of McKay?”

I raise my right hand and swear, “I backed out because of me.”

“Fine, but...” His lips twitch slightly. “Can we talk about the part where you’ve had a crush on McKay for years?”

My cheeks heat.

“Aww. That’s cute. Tell me more about the crush, though,” he says, wiggling his fingers. “When did it start?”

I don’t want to go all teen diary with him, but I owe him. “More than two years ago,” I grumble. “Before I became a starter.”

He bats his lashes. “That’s fucking adorable.”

“Thanks,” I deadpan.

“C’mon. Let me have this moment. You kept a big secret from me when I told you everything, so I am going to enjoy the fuck out of your crush on Jason McKay,” he says, beyond smug.

I let him have his moment. “By all means, enjoy. While you’re enjoying it, though, I’ll tell you I still have a crush on him.”

Carter sighs like he’s satisfied. Then claps me on the shoulder. “I’m pissed you thought you couldn’t trust me, but you’re still my guy, and I’ll get over it. But if I’m not the first person on the team you told, I will lose my ever-loving mind.”

“I had to tell Wilder Blaine. You’re the first teammate I’ve told,” I assure him, glad I’m back on solid footing. But I figure I’ll need to keep proving myself to him, and I’m here for that.

“All right,” he says, rubbing his palms together. “Who’s next?”

I wince like a doctor jabbed me with the flu shot. “Everyone else.”

“Let’s do this.”

We leave the weight room. The heavy lifting is about to begin.