The Winning Ticket (Circle of Friends #1)

14. How The Hell Are You Still Single?

brIANNA

14

I look at Jake over the top of my book and see that he’s fallen asleep. He’d mentioned he’d had to get up early this morning, and then the three-hour drive after he finished work had left him exhausted, so I’m surprised he’d made it this long before he passed out.

His brown hair is a little longer now than how he wore it in school, and I admire the loose curls forming at the nape of his neck.

How had I forgotten how beautiful this man is?

I grin when I realise that Maddie is curled up against his other side, her head resting on his thigh while she looks at me across his lap. I pick up my phone and snap a photo before turning my music down so that it doesn’t wake him, but I feel him squeeze my foot, bringing it closer to his thigh.

“Don’t… Leave it… I like it,” he says quietly, his eyes still closed.

I smile and turn it back up.

I can’t help but notice that he has kept my foot in his hand, running his thumb back and forth even as he’s fallen asleep once again.

I feel a sense of peace fall over me, unlike anything I’ve felt in years. It makes it harder to concentrate on my book, but I don’t move away. I lie to myself, telling myself it’s because I don’t want to wake him. When I know it’s really because this just feels right.

The following evening, the buzzer sounds while Jake is in the shower, so I let the others up. When Jake had said he’d invited the others, I’d extended the invitation to Kylie and Tara as well, and now that we were all here together again, I felt a lightness in my chest. The sounds of our friends’ voices soon fill the apartment.

“I can’t believe you get to live here. I’m jealous,” Kylie says, curling up beside me on the couch.

“Well, if you guys hadn’t just renewed your lease, I’m sure Jake would have offered it to you guys instead of me.”

She scoffs, and Tara looks curiously at her. She hands me my drink before taking a seat on my other side.

“What was that noise for?” she asks Kylie.

“Oh, Bri just made a funny joke. She said Jake would have offered us this place over her if we hadn’t just signed our new lease.”

Tara laughs.

“I don’t get what’s so funny about that?” I look from one to the other, and they both shake their heads.

“You were the most obvious choice. Although once our lease ends, we may be hitting you up to let us move in here as well.”

I hear the others laughing, and I look towards the kitchen, where Jake is once again busying himself with food while the two couples sit or stand on the other side of the bench and chat with him. His smile while talking to Will makes me slightly envious of his easy-going nature. Nothing ever seems like a chore for Jake, and even though he’s in the process of cooking a meal for eight people, he’s not rushed or stressed.

The girls follow my gaze, and Tara squeezes my arm lightly.

“So, how is it living here with him?” she asks quietly.

“Well, technically, I live alone. He only arrived last night, and he’s been at his Mum’s all day, so it’s not really been any different than the rest of the week I’ve lived here on my own.” I say, and Kylie shivers.

“I don’t think I’d do well living alone,” she says, and I laugh.

“You are just a tiny bit more outgoing than I am. It actually hasn’t been as lonely as I’d worried it would be. Turns out, I like my own company.”

“That does not surprise me in the slightest. You were always happier with a book and the quiet than I was.” Kylie nods.

Tara snorts. “That is the biggest understatement ever. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you read a book in all the years we’ve lived together, and you are definitely more chaotic than Bri could ever be,” she says affectionately.

Kylie pouts for all of two seconds before grinning. “Yep, you know me well. I am a chaotic mess, which is why you love me.”

Every time I see my two best friends, I feel just that little bit lighter. How had I managed without them for the past five years? These people are the balm for my anxious soul.

“One of the many reasons we love you,” Will says, joining the conversation as he flops down beside his sister before ruffling her hair.

Annelisa follows him, cuddling into his side, and he kisses the top of her head. Besides Chris and Morgan, these two were always the couple everyone envied. They have been inseparable since I was in grade ten and are as sickeningly in love now as they were back then.

“You okay, Lis?” Tara asks her sister, looking at her closely.

Annelisa nods and smiles, although she does look a bit off. “Just really tired at the moment. Work is full on.”

Annelisa has published several romance books and is an incredibly talented and sought-after author. Morgan had mentioned she’d just signed a major deal with her publisher, so maybe that has kept her busy.

Chris and Morgan join us. Chris grabs the remote and finds the ice hockey app on the TV.

Kylie wrinkles her nose. “I don’t understand your obsession with this sport lately.”

“It’s great! It barely stops. It’s way better than football.” Chris points at the screen, where men in a lot of padding zoom around the ice. “As a half-Canadian, you should be excited I’m getting into your country’s national sport.”

“Mate, Dad is the most non-Canadian Canadian you will ever meet. I don’t think he even knows how to ice skate, and he’s never watched hockey that I’m aware of. He embraced all things Australian the second he landed here. He’s a surfer now. Canada would be disappointed in him.” Will shakes his head, and they begin to rib each other playfully.

I look towards the kitchen, where Jake is busy stirring things on the stovetop while checking the lamb in the oven.

I get to my feet and wander over. “Do you need any help?” I ask.

“I think I’ve got it mostly under control, but if you do want to help, you can get the salads ready. It’s just the mixes from Woolies in the bags, so I was going to do that last. Figured people would want the choice between veggies or salads.”

I place a hand on my chest dramatically. “Salad from a bag? What would Nonna say?”

“What Nonna doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” he replies with a wink, and I laugh before going to the fridge to find said bags of salad shoved haphazardly through the fridge.

Instantly, I feel my anxiety spike at the sight of the mess and start tidying the fridge, keeping the door half closed so that Jake can’t see what I’m doing. Once I’m done, I begin preparing the salads – well, dumping all the ingredients into various bowls.

Jake places his hands on my hips, and I jump slightly.

“I’m sorry. I just need to get to the drawers in front of you,” he says, his mouth near my ear.

A shiver runs down my spine, and I take a deep breath to control my body’s reaction. I nod slowly and step aside so that he can get to the plates. Once he has them out, he pulls the lamb out of the oven to rest a little, and the smell makes my mouth instantly start watering.

“Geez, Jake, with cooking skills this good, how the hell are you still single?” I ask, moving closer to examine the lamb that has been cooked to perfection.

I don’t know much about cooking, but I can tell he’s put a fair bit of effort into it. I hadn’t paid any attention earlier when he was putting it all together to put it in the oven.

“Alas, Bri, I have asked myself that same question many, many times,” he says.

He’s smiling, but I can tell it’s a little forced. I remember our conversation by the spa at his party and realise that this may be a bit of a sore spot for him.

“Sorry, that was rude,” I say, feeling shitty.

“Hey, it’s fine,” he says, stepping closer and pushing the strand of hair that had fallen across my cheek back behind my ear. “It’s no different to me wondering how someone could be such an asshole to you.”

We hold gazes for a moment before I realise that the sound of conversation has died down a little. I look towards the lounge and notice that Chris, Morgan and Tara are watching us. While Tara is grinning, Chris and Morgan both look wary. The other three, thankfully, are still engrossed in conversation while watching the TV.

Jake’s eyes follow mine, and he steps away a little, returning to the stove. I continue making the salads and ignore the way my sister is watching us closely.

After we all finished eating and everything was cleared away, we decided to move out onto the terrace. While the others were still inside, I turned on the fairy lights I’d rigged up during the week.

“Wow, Bri, this is gorgeous,” Jake says, standing beside me and looking around at my handy work.

“Thanks! I meant to show you last night, but you fell asleep so early that I forgot.”

He drapes his arm over my shoulder and squeezes lightly. “I love that you’re settling in.” He kisses the side of my temple and heads back inside while the others make their way out, all making appreciative sounds at the sight of all the lights.

I stay where I am for a moment, lightly running a finger over my temple where the skin still tingles.

I’d forgotten how easy things were with Jake and how affectionate he was with everyone. But I am keenly aware that while he will hug the other women in our friendship circle, these little kisses have always been for me only, and I love that.

Eventually, we split into two groups, with some of us heading up to the spa deck to hang out in the warm water while those who don’t feel like getting wet move towards the sun loungers on the terrace. I join Morgan, Tara, and Kylie in the spa, but Annelisa stays with the guys, saying she forgot to bring her swimmers.

“God, this place is heaven. I don’t know why you ever bother leaving,” Tara says, closing her eyes and resting her head against the side of the spa.

“If I didn’t have to go to work, I don’t know that I would, I’ll be honest. It’s been nice just to hide out here this week.”

“Are you okay? I was worried you might be lonely on your own,” Morgan says, looking over at me as I slide down so that all but my head is submerged in the warm water.

“It’s been nice, actually.”

“Yeah? Not overthinking? I’m still worried that you haven’t even really cried.”

“Geez, Morgan,” Tara says quietly, looking over at my sister with her eyebrows raised. “Ease up a little.”

“Thanks, Tara.” I smile at my friend, though that smile drops when I realise my sister is not going to let it go so easily.

“It’s just… I’m worried about you. Maybe you should have stayed with Mum and Dad a little longer,” she says, looking down at the others on the terrace.

Jake has joined them now, and my heart skips a little when I see he’s brought his guitar out. Memories of bonfires during high school parties where Jake sat strumming his guitar and singing all my favourite songs come flooding back. I used to love sneaking into the music room and listening to Jake practice with the guys he’d formed a band with, imagining a future where he’d become a rockstar and I’d be his groupie.

Shaking off the memories, I turn to glare at Morgan. “What you’re really saying is now that Jake is here, you’re worried I’m going to maul your friend in some sort of rebound attempt because I’m not showing any emotion after being dumped spectacularly by the boyfriend that you loathed and told me for years wasn’t right for me,” I say, surprised at the bitterness in my voice.

My sister splutters a response, but I don’t feel like hanging out in the spa anymore.

I hop out, wrapping my towel around me. Tara and Kylie shoot Morgan reproachful looks, but I don’t bother engaging any further and simply make my way inside to put on a dress over my swimmers.

I consider staying in my room, but I know that Morgan would follow me. I don’t want to continue the conversation, so I head back out to join the others on the terrace, sitting beside Jake.

I’m pretty sure I chose my spot purely to piss off my sister, but he smiles at me and keeps strumming away on his guitar while he chats to the others. The guitar is basically just an extension of his body, and I don’t think he’s even aware of what he’s doing, but the music is peaceful, and I let myself drift a little in my thoughts while his soothing music washes over me.

He bumps his leg against mine, and I know he must have noticed the exchange between Morgan and me. Although I hope he didn’t hear what I said. I smile back and shake my head in response to his curious look.

Maybe something is wrong with me, and Morgan is right to worry. I still haven’t allowed myself to think about Richard and the awful way he ended our relationship. Thinking about it won’t do anything for me other than make me miserable, and I don’t want to feel that way anymore. Although Morgan had previously been happy to let me live in denial, over the past few weeks, she’s been focusing on getting me to talk about my feelings more.

I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don’t even notice when Jake puts his guitar down and leans back beside me. Moving his hand behind me and running it absently up and down my back, I freeze, caught off guard, before leaning into his touch. None of the others seem to have noticed while they continue chatting. He is still talking to Chris, Will and Annelisa about work stuff, but I know he’s aware of the comfort he’s providing me. Knowing that he can show comfort without thinking about how it might look to our friends makes me smile a little, wondering what it’s like not to live life constantly anxious about what others might think.

We stay like that for a few hours, and the girls eventually leave the spa to join us. It’s past midnight, and the others start preparing to leave. We walk them to the door and say goodbye.

Once they have all left, Jake silently pulls me into his arms, and I allow him to hold me for a few minutes. His arms tighten around me, and he sighs quietly when I sink further into his embrace. I feel his lips brush against my temple, and I squeeze my eyes shut tight, not ready to let the moment end, while he rubs his hand up and down my back.

After too long, yet not long enough, I eventually pull away and smile up at him before moving towards my room.

“Good night, Little B,” he says quietly, and I look back at him from the doorway.

“Good night, JJ,” I say before turning and heading into the room, closing the door behind me and resting my head back against the door.

Maybe this is why I haven’t allowed myself to think about Richard… Even though I’ve been denying it to everyone else, I remember those long-forgotten feelings for my high school crush. And I am pretty sure he is feeling something, too.