24. There Is Just So Much Chemistry There
brIANNA
24
Kylie
Dinner tonight?
Brianna
Depends… Are you cooking?
Kylie
Pfft, lord no. Tara is.
Brianna
Well, in that case, I accept. You haven't said anything to anyone about Saturday, have you?
Kylie
No. But you best believe I want details, lady.
I let out a sigh of relief at Kylie's confirmation that she hadn’t told anyone about what she saw on Saturday. I'm surprised she hasn't told Tara, at the very least, but I'm grateful that she's kept her word.
Sliding my phone into my handbag, I log back on to my computer after lunch and stare at the campaign I was working on. I had hoped taking a break from it would inspire me for the best marketing strategy for the latest ugly but sought-after handbag.
No such luck, though. My heart just isn't in luxury brands anymore. I have slowly realised that I had only fallen into that world while I was with Richard. Still, the further I move away from his influence, the more I notice that I don't care about handbags that cost thousands of dollars and clothes that half my friends wouldn't even fit into. That the version of me from four years ago wouldn't have fit into or even cared about fitting into.
The beauty of hindsight was that looking back, I have realised that I had become nothing more than Richard's little doll, dressing up in the clothes that he thought I should wear and eating only enough to survive so that I could fit into the clothes that all the models he photographed wore. I already don't fit half the clothes in my wardrobe, and yet, I am happier than I'd ever been when I was hungry all the time.
"How's the launch coming?" Cynthia appears out of nowhere to peer over my shoulder and stare at my screen. "You've not even started it yet?" Her face says it all.
She is pissed.
"I'm just trying to find some inspiration," I say, attempting to muster up even a little enthusiasm, but it's not coming easily.
"You've been working on this all week… I think we need to have a conversation about your work since you've been here," Cynthia says, her tone haughty while she looks down at me with pursed lips.
Ever since I started at the Brisbane office, she has micromanaged me to death, and I know, with absolute certainty, that she has just been waiting for the chance to performance-manage me out of the company.
"Sure. How about we schedule that for Monday?" I ask, making sure to seem as cheerful and perky as possible, all the while planning to start the job hunt in earnest.
She studies me with her shrewd, beady little eyes before nodding and walking away. Within minutes, a meeting request with her and the Brisbane director comes through to my email, and I sigh, accepting it before returning to stare at the picture of the handbag, knowing full well that the inspiration is never going to come.
"So, what are you going to do?" Tara asks when we sit down to dinner that night.
I shrug. "Honestly, I don't know. I can't tell if it's marketing I've lost interest in or if it's just what that company works on." I take a mouthful of the pasta dish that Tara has thrown together and groan. "Tara, marry me. This is delicious."
"Yeah? Even better than Jake's cooking?" She shoots me a look I can't decipher, and I pause before taking the next bite.
"What's that look?" I ask before looking at Kylie, who is sitting across from Tara.
"Hey, don't look at me like that. I haven't said anything," she says, putting her hands up.
Tara grins at me triumphantly. "I fucking knew it."
"Know what? What do you think you know?"
"You and Jake are one hundred percent into each other. It was so obvious on Saturday night."
"No, we're not." Even I can hear how much of a lie that is, and Kylie shakes her head.
"I caught them getting each other off in the bathroom when I went inside."
"Kylie!" I glare at her, and Tara begins to laugh.
"I'm all for not telling anyone, but I'm not lying either," she says.
I look between them both and then sigh dramatically.
"Fine… Yes, we've hooked up a few times."
"Liar. I bet you guys were at it like rabbits all weekend. I heard the pair of you. That was hot." Kylie waggles her eyebrows, and I feel my cheeks heat up.
"So, are the rumours true?" Tara asks eagerly.
I don't think Jake would like me talking about his sexual prowess, even if he has gotten me off more times in one weekend than Richard managed over a month.
"I can neither confirm nor deny any rumours of how good Jake Boyd is in bed," I say before taking a mouthful of wine.
Tara lets out a hoot and high-fives Kylie.
"I knew you two would end up together one day. There is just so much chemistry there," Kylie says with a dreamy smile.
"We're not together. It's just a friends-with-benefits situation."
"Right, sure." She rolls her eyes.
"I'm serious. I can't commit to anyone else. I'm still dealing with everything after Richard, and it wouldn't be fair to make Jake my rebound."
"That is your sister talking. You were in love with Jake all through high school, and now you finally have him. There is no way you aren't into him as more than just a hook-up," Tara says, pointing at me with a fork full of food.
"Speaking of my sister, this obviously goes no further than this room, right?"
They exchange a look before nodding.
"Of course. But Morgan and Chris will eventually work out something is going on despite all the wedding planning happening. Shouldn't you just tell them now, rather than them finding out in another way and shit hitting the fan? You know how protective they are over both of you. Morgan has run off more than one of Jake's prospects over the years because she thinks no one is good enough for him, and Chris will be worried that you are both going to get hurt."
I know Tara is right, but with all the judgment my sister has thrown my way over the last few weeks, I just can't handle her giving her opinion on what Jake and I should and should not be doing.
"I've never understood the dynamic between Jake and Morgan," Kylie says, shaking her head.
"Morgan and Jake were best friends from the womb. Our Mums met in pregnancy classes. Morgan only noticed Chris when she discovered boys, but she and Jake were inseparable as kids," I explain, and Tara nods.
She's known our family for almost as long as Jake.
"How come they never hooked up then?" Kylie looks confused.
"It was just never like that for either of them. And Jake had a thing for our girl here," Tara says, and I look at her with raised eyebrows.
"How did you know he liked me in school? You never said anything."
"Because I wasn't getting involved. I figured he had his own reasons for not saying anything, even though I could see it plain as day. But I guess he's told you now?"
I nod. "He told me on Saturday morning… When we agreed to keep this casual."
Tara regards me quietly for a moment. "Be careful, Bri. I don't want to sound like Morgan here, but Jake's one of the good ones. Don't let your issues drive him away, or worse, break both your hearts. I'm sure the sex is amazing, but you guys have way more between you than that, and I don't think either of you is going to be capable of keeping this from turning into something far more."
I didn't know what to say in response to that, so I simply nodded.
Damn Tara and her ability to see things that others were oblivious to. I'd forgotten about this side of her in our years living far away from each other, but now that I'm back in Brisbane, the people who had known me longest still have the ability to see through my quiet exterior and drill right down to my core.
"So, enough about this stuff," Kylie said, clapping her hands together. "Tara and I have decided to plan a trip to Europe next year. You wanna come?"
I stare at her momentarily, trying to keep up with the abrupt change in subject. "Ah… maybe? I need to work out my employment situation before I plan any overseas trips, but it sounds amazing. Where are you thinking?"
"So far, I'm looking at one of those under-thirties bus tours. Figure it's the easiest way to see as much as possible, and it will be good for Tara once she inevitably needs a break from my awesomeness."
"You mean, the ones where you get drunk for three weeks and don't remember what country you're in?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.
Kylie's smile dims a little. "Well, I won't be taking part in the drinking side. I've decided to give up drinking. The last few years haven't been great, and I know how messy I get… And I'm tired of getting blackout drunk, only to find nothing has changed when I wake up in the morning other than I've done something else for Will to lecture me about."
Tara reaches across the table to squeeze her hand.
"I'm sorry I wasn't around more, Kyles… I had no idea this had been happening. Are you okay?" I ask, feeling guilty that my time with Richard had led me to neglect the friendships that had meant so much to me before I'd left.
Kylie shrugs. "I think I'm just looking for something that makes me happy. I've always wanted to travel. I'm also thinking of spending some time with my family in Canada. Something has got to change, though. I'm just feeling a little stuck, I guess."
"Well, I, for one, support you in this. And I can't wait for our trip," Tara says with a grin, and Kylie shoots her a grateful look.
"Have I mentioned how much I missed you two? Because I really, really did," I say, and they both smile at me.
"We missed you, too, sad sack," Kylie says, and I laugh.
Just like that, the sadness lifts, and we spend the rest of the evening watching crappy TV and discussing all the places we want to see together.