The Wolf’s Whisper: The Complete Series

8. Emily

I chewed on my lip as I got dressed for the big day, the birthday party my father and I were supposed to share. As soon as I’d gotten to my apartment and messaged my landlord, I’d hurriedly packed everything and called my mother to pick me up.

The hour or so it took her to arrive was nerve-racking, with my stomach twisting at every moment, worried one of those overly large men would come bursting through my door. After all, what was the barrier even made of? Cardboard? Particleboard? Some prayers and chewing gum?

I thought that once I got home with them, I’d be able to settle. But I wasn’t that lucky. I was still jumpy while we watched a movie, and I found myself looking over my shoulder, wondering if I’d brought a predator to my innocent parents’ door. It was a sobering thought, so it made it particularly difficult to enjoy anything.

But I was determined not to ruin our celebration in the same way. I was going to forget those two strange men who thought it was appropriate to fight over someone in broad daylight, and I was going to appreciate my family and all the things we experienced together, and look forward to all the future experiences we had to share.

At least that was what I told myself as I dressed. It would’ve been easier to do if my fever weren’t flaring up again, making me feel about ten times worse than I had before, along with some light-headedness and dizziness to boot. If it weren’t such an important occasion, I’d have made a blanket nest for myself and refused to come out for anything other than the bathroom.

Besides, it was clear now that whatever I had was not communicable, so as long as I kept a grin on my face and my attention at least somewhat present, I’d be able to limp through the day without having to miss such an important event. I was a college student on a populated campus where all our immune systems were pushed to the absolute max. Sometimes the cookie just crumbled that way.

I made it through the rest of getting dressed and even managed to do a half-decent makeup job on myself. Nothing too elaborate, as I felt like an empty plastic bag, but I still wore some nice eyeliner, a couple of nude shadows, and red lips. I didn’t wear bold lipstick very often, as it drew far too much attention to myself, but it looked nice with my understated dress and simple stud earrings.

From there, I was able to make it downstairs and park myself in one of our cushy love seats as I waited for guests to arrive. Thankfully, no one thought it odd that I wasn’t standing up to greet them, and I was able to mostly lounge while people trickled in one by one.

Naturally, I got up when Gavin came in. He looked sharp, with his crisp button-up and dark blue slacks, his hair slicked back effortlessly. Yet, as good as he looked, I didn’t feel the same rush I usually got whenever I looked at him. No, it was almost like... he was anybody else.

“There’s the birthday girl!” he exclaimed, all bright eyes and charming smile. He wore the same grin he’d always had, but it seemed… less so.

I didn’t let the shock at that personal revelation show on my face, just busied myself with hugging him instead. Still, as I pressed my face to his chest, I didn’t feel the usual fluttering in my heart, that gentle swoop of my belly that told me not only was I safe, but I was loved. That despite everything people said to me when I was younger, I was desired.

“Right back at ya, babe,” I said with what I hoped was a convincing laugh. At the same time, I was so exhausted from constantly fine-tuning my emotions so I wouldn’t rock the boat. Would it be so bad to just stand on a chair and scream expletives at the top of my lungs?

What the hell was going on with me?

“It smells incredible in here!” Gavin gushed. “You really went all out with the catering.”

I didn’t bother to correct my boyfriend that my family not only couldn’t afford caterers for anything as simple as a birthday, but they also wouldn’t even think of it, given how much my parents enjoyed cooking together. I had plenty of fond memories in the kitchen with them growing up, and though I’d never developed the same knack for cooking, I still could cut up vegetables and load dishes into the dishwasher like a champ.

Besides, I had bigger things to worry about. Like my fever and how nothing made sense lately.

As much as I wished I could tell myself it was the stress from midterms, that I was overreacting to possibly the strangest weekend I’d had in a long time, I knew deep down that there was something else. Was it merely getting older? I knew some people had massive personality changes as they went through their twenties. In fact, wasn’t that why most high school sweethearts broke up? Had Gavin and I somehow grown apart? I hadn’t felt any of this only the week before.

It had to be my nerves. At least that’s what I told myself while I ignored my fever and pushed myself through the rest of the party.

It helped that the food was utterly delicious. I mentally bemoaned more than once that I was going to have to return to the campus cafeteria far too soon. Again, I knew I could cook for myself, but who had time for that beyond instant ramen? I figured that since I’d hopefully be a surgical intern after college, I might as well get used to scarfing down the cheapest, blandest meals I could.

When I put it like that, it sure made med school seem unappealing.

What also didn’t help was how much Gavin hovered. Had he always been like that? Did it just seem that way because I was sitting around and having people come to me? It felt like he was herding people away from me so he could monopolize my attention.

Had he always done that?

I tried to recall, but all my attention was on maintaining my composure despite the fever cooking under my skin. Frustrating. Didn’t I already have enough on my plate without having to worry about my boyfriend?

Ugh.

I was tired, I was sick, and I was trying to have a good time. I just shoved those thoughts out of my head, too, so they could sit on top of the growing pile of backlogged and forbidden ponderings. Instead, I tried to focus on what was really important.

“ Happy birthday to you! ”

I clapped as everyone finished serenading me with slightly different keys of the same song, my dad chuckling beside me. It was a sacred tradition that no one was ever allowed to sing the traditional birthday song with the correct pitch, and I loved it. Perfectly imperfect, as it were.

It was also nice that sitting next to my father at the head of one of our picnic tables gave me a little space from Gavin. He was still close by, of course, but he wasn’t all up on me, which I really needed.

Not for the first time, I was becoming overwhelmed by all the scents around me. Did everyone here just drench themselves in perfume or cologne? Luckily, I was distracted while my father and I blew out our candles on each of our half-cakes—another tradition I loved. We’d all bake a three-layer lemon cake together with a rich, creamy raspberry custard between levels, then cut it in half and put it on two platters. One for me, and one for my dad. Even if my parents had adopted me, all these little acts, these little traditions, always made me feel completely accepted. They were my family, through and through, no matter what blood ran through my veins.

“I request that my presents be one of the last ones,” Gavin said once the candles were out and the cheering was done. I glanced at the small, slim box I knew was his on my humble gift pile. My father and I were both old enough that gifts were not mandatory, and those who did decide to bring one usually picked out gift cards.

My stomach flipped. My mind flew to my mother’s words about an engagement ring. Yikes! There was no way…

Thankfully, my mind kicked in and pointed out how it was far too long to be a ring box. Okay, phew, I could calm down. It was jewelry, but it wasn’t an engagement ring. I was safe from my mother’s daydreaming.

For now, at least.

“Aww, how romantic,” my mother cooed entirely too predictably. For another moment, I thought she’d somehow read my mind before my brain kicked back in and told me that wasn’t possible. And told me I needed to calm the hell down and be practical.

I was at my birthday. If I weren’t careful, I was going to ruin it for myself, which would be pretty damn lame. After all, my parents were older when they’d adopted me, so it wasn’t like I was going to have as much time with them as the average person. Not that I was expecting them to die anytime soon, but it was still best to cherish every moment while I had it. Nothing was guaranteed, after all.

“Why don’t you start with the envelopes, sweetie?” My father looked pleased. I wanted my dad to have a happy birthday even if I was feeling under the weather.

“Sure,” I replied. “Wanna take turns?”

He leaned over and kissed the top of my head, and I was so much more aware of his scent than I’d ever been before. He was wearing the same aftershave he always did that smelled like smoky sandalwood, but it was so much more than that. It was home. It was safety and comfort. It was the familiarity of a good book on a cloudy day, and so many memories.

All of that and its implications struck me in that moment, and I became acutely aware of both everyone’s mortality and just how lucky I was that out of all the people in the world to come into the orphanage, it was my parents who’d ended up picking me. God, I loved them so much. I wanted to hug them and never let go. Just... crush them in my arms with affection. It was like cute aggression, but ten times over, and my heart was completely full to bursting.

“Are you alright, sweetie?” my mom asked.

I nodded, swallowing hard, and I realized there were tears in my eyes. Dad, being the wonderful sap he’d always been, just let out a chuckle and gave me a one-armed embrace. It wasn’t enough, not nearly enough, but it still filled me with happiness.

Geez, my emotions were really all over the place. While I appreciated they were positive for once, I wasn’t entirely sure if that was a good thing. Was my menstrual cycle messed up? I’d heard of stress being able to change even the steadiest of periods, and there was plenty of that in my life lately.

“You okay?” my dad murmured into my hair, and finally, I got a handle on all the fondness flooding me. Maybe once everything was said and done and all our guests had gone home, we could cuddle on the couch under ridiculously thick blankets, pop some popcorn, and binge more movies before I had to go back to college and pretend to be a semi-independent adult.

That sounded like a great idea. I just needed to get through the party first. I could do that. Compared to all the crazy things I’d done already just to keep my scores up in med school, that would be a breeze.

Right?

“I’m perfect ,” I said, taking a deep breath through my nose before perking up. “Just really, really happy.”

“Aw, I’m glad you are, bean,” my dad said. “You deserve it.”

“You do, too,” I said.

Of course, my mother wasn’t one to miss such sentimentality, and she appeared at my other side with some pretty envelopes and watery eyes. Naturally, I pulled her into a hug, and for a moment, it was just us.

Well, just us and a lot of gift cards, presumably.

Sure enough, that’s exactly what the envelopes turned out to be, and my father and I managed to work our way through them with plenty of laughs and thanks all around. Once all of the envelopes were opened and their contents read, we moved on to a couple of wrapped gifts. Most of mine were practical, which I fully appreciated, but when my mother handed me a small box with even more shining tears in her eyes, I knew my parents’ gift was going to be different from the rest.

“To my little star,” she said, her voice warbling only a little, which was pretty impressive for her. I’d always loved that my mother was so open with her emotions. It took a lot of bravery to wear one’s heart on their sleeve, and I still had a long way to go before I’d have the courage to do so myself. It was still far easier to hide than to be completely out there with my feelings.

Practically holding my breath, I took the gift with slightly shaking hands and opened it carefully. Reverently. Sure enough, there was a beautiful but understated necklace there. It had a moonstone along its length with a single star pendant, and at the center? A sparkling diamond.

I knew it was most likely cubic zirconium or perhaps a lab-grown diamond. My parents knew how I felt about the diamonds mined by the unethical De Beers family, and now it was time for my eyes to water, too. Goodness, I was so loved. It really was a shame that I’d gone through so many years of my life hating myself, despising everything that made me me. I was always going to be grateful to my parents for helping me see the value within myself and grow into someone I was proud of being. I had a long way to go, and the necklace in my hands was a reminder of the gem my parents had always seen, even when I could only see muck.

“Thank you,” I whispered, hands trembling too much to even undo the clasp. My father just leaned over and motioned to take the necklace from me. Pride and adoration flowed through me as he gently draped it around my neck and then did the clasp for me.

“Oh, it looks beautiful ,” my mother breathed before handing me my phone. “You have to look!”

I certainly agreed with her there, so I opened my camera app and looked at the beautiful new jewelry I had to call my own.

Wow.

Oh, wow.

My family wasn’t impoverished by any means. In fact, I was sure there had been an income requirement to adopt me. Still, we were nowhere near flush with cash as Gavin’s family. There was a reason I’d tried to apply for as many scholarships as possible and managed to get a full ride to my college. I’d never really had a ton of jewelry coming up. It had always seemed like an unnecessary expense.

But this necklace? This necklace was in no way unnecessary. It was a beautiful reminder that I had family and I belonged, even if I felt increasingly unmoored lately.

I was so lucky.

It was while I was looking at my phone screen and enraptured with the way the necklace caught the light that Gavin stepped forward with his little box.

“I think this worked out rather perfectly,” he said, grinning crookedly. I wasn’t done admiring my parents’ gift, but I figured I had the whole night to do it, and it was sweet that my boyfriend was so excited to give me his present.

“Oh, I wonder what it is!” I said with exaggerated surprise, earning a chuckle from those around me.

“Gee, I dunno,” Gavin said, still grinning. “I guess you’ll have to open it to find out!”

At least Gavin was still in the mood to banter. He’d been acting so strange and passive-aggressive that I was worried this would extend to gift-giving. But no, it seemed my kind, conscientious, funny boyfriend was back.

I just wished that he’d never dipped out in the first place.

I focused on the box in my hands and opened it just as carefully as I had my parents’. I didn’t owe a lifelong debt to Gavin, as he hadn’t adopted me and shown me years of love, but I still appreciated all the thought he’d put into my present. Besides, the gasp I let out when the box fully opened was completely genuine.

There was a bangle nestled within, shining silver with wonderful agate accents to it. It was a statement piece, clearly not meant for everyday wear. Once again, no diamonds, which made me feel valued. Some people thought it was silly that I was often so incensed about stupid rocks being the justification for exploiting and hurting innocent children, but not my parents, or Gavin. That meant a lot.

“Oh, it’s gorgeous! ” I exclaimed, projecting a lot of oomph in my voice when I really just wanted to sit and quietly admire the beauty and craftsmanship. I’d have time to do that later. For the moment, it was about celebrating together.

“You like it?” Gavin asked, a broad smile spreading across his features. Sometimes he seemed so serious, but whenever he smiled at me like that, it was easy to see the effervescent young man he was. I really was lucky in so many ways.

“I love it!”

I did. It was such a sweet gift and showed he’d put effort into it. I’d had friends over the years who’d shown up with presents so thoughtless that it would have been better if they hadn’t brought me anything at all.

“Why don’t you put it on?” Gavin’s voice was soft and nervous, and the slight flush to his face was almost too adorable to stand. “I’d love to see it.”

And I did, too. Although it didn’t match my necklace, I had a feeling the two pieces would look beautiful together, and I wanted to see it. “Okay.”

It was funny, with the fever and all the other stuff happening to me, I’d felt detached from my body. Like I was an alien occupying a foreign body, or like it’d gotten sick of me and decided to do its own thing. But wearing the bangle and the necklace were solid, physical reminders that it was okay for Emily to just be Emily, and even if I felt strange inside my skin sometimes, that was all right.

“ Wooooow ,” my mother breathed, her hand over her mouth. “It’s no ring, but it is absolutely lovely.”

“Ring?” Gavin asked, but I cleared my throat and stood, bounding across the short space between us to envelop him in a hug.

“Never mind her,” I whispered. “It’s perfect. ”

“I’m glad you think so,” he mumbled.

Then, as with my father, I became keenly aware of Gavin’s scent, of his presence and the heat emanating from him. But there was something… wrong about it.

I couldn’t explain why or put my finger on it. There was something in his scent that told my brain “no.” It made me uncomfortable.

Was I getting sweatier?

“Hey, are you okay?”

Gavin had a concerned look on his face, which was a perfectly reasonable reaction, but at the same time, panic flooded through me. I pasted a smile on my face and batted my eyelashes at him.

“I’m perfect,” I said before moving up on my tiptoes and pressing my lips to his in a kiss.

But unlike most times, there was no spark, the floor didn’t drop out from under me, and my stomach didn’t swoop. It was just... a kiss. Nothing more, nothing less.

Trying not to show the confusion in my face, I leaned back. As I pulled away, though, my eyes found a figure moving across the other side of our fence, as if they’d been walking the perimeter.

A figure I shouldn’t be seeing again.

It was the man from my campus.

I took a step towards him, fully intending to sound the alarm and tell him off. What right did he have to interrupt such an important event? Why was he following me? I had no idea who he was. As far as I was concerned, he was some crazy stalker who wouldn’t leave me alone.

But I barely even got a step towards him before it felt like my entire body was on fire, as if it had been struck by lightning. One moment, I was fine. The next, I was in utter agony that radiated through my every limb. If I didn’t know better, I’d have sworn that I’d just been dunked into hell itself.

I turned towards my family, gathering my thoughts enough to ask for a glass of water. I was aware that several guests were staring at me, concern all over their features, but I couldn’t really comprehend it.

The next thing I knew, the entire world disappeared from under me, and I fell into blackness.