The Wolf’s Whisper: The Complete Series

40. Emily

T he Lincoln Hills Pack was huge.

They’d said it the night before, but it was one thing hearing it and another thing entirely to see it in front of me. The giant cookout that’d spontaneously been set up wasn’t even half the population. Who knew there were so many werewolves going about Denver like they owned the place?

“Wow, someone did a great job cleaning everything up. I haven’t seen the bonfire area looking this lively in ages,” Caleb said with that charming grin.

“You haven’t been welcomed in the bonfire area in ages,” the gruff man pointed out.

“Thank you, Carl. You continue to be the life of the party.”

“I’m gonna go find Zach.”

“You do that, buddy.”

“I’m guessing he’s not a fan of yours?” I asked Caleb.

“You could say that. He’s not alone. I don’t think anyone will make a scene here, but there will be comments… and stares.”

“You know, I can go beat them all up for you. I mean, I’ll lose, but I’m the new girl in town, so they’d feel bad hurting me.”

I loved the way Caleb laughed, throwing his head back. It was nice to hear such an unburdened sound. Both of our circumstances lately were so heavy.

“My knight in shining armor!” he exclaimed. “While I’m sure that’d be entertaining, why don’t we focus on making new friends tonight? This is your first party with the family you never knew you had, after all.”

An intimidating thought, but something far too important was missing, and it messed with my head. “Mom and Dad should be here.”

Caleb paused, and his expression grew serious once again. “You’re right. In the future, let’s make sure they have a place here.”

“You think Zach would allow that?” The head alpha was a nice enough guy, and accommodating as could be so far, but that didn’t change the slight stink of apprehension I smelled from Caleb anytime he was around.

“I… may have been overly critical of Zach before, especially his policy on unclaimed shifters having to either join our pack or leave the territory. I think they once equated it to a kidnapping with a bag over your head. That was stupid. I was talking out of my ass, and from a place of fear. I know I have moons in my eyes, but he just wants to do right by his people.”

“Do my ears deceive me, or are you saying something positive about Lincoln Hills?”

Another man sauntered up to us, and the bright smile that instantly spread across Caleb’s features reminded me that Keller was in the car when I got picked up.

“Don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to maintain.”

“Buddy, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m pretty sure that’s a reputation you don’t want.”

Their dueling dialogue put me at ease as I took in the surroundings. Despite the cold season, a couple of large, pavilion-like tents set up, with fairy lights twinkling from tree to tree and an impressive bonfire at the center that kept things warm. It was an inviting shindig, especially with the smell of grilled food and the music coming from various points. It was informal enough not to require a protocol I was supposed to know, but structured enough that it didn’t feel chaotic. If anything, it was just a giant family reunion, albeit one where I didn't know anyone in attendance.

“Kaia?”

I looked at a delightfully plump woman with red cheeks and equally red hair and a tall, slender man practically glued to her side. “Uh, Emily, please,” I said politely.

“Shit, right! They told me that.”

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting to come out of this maternal-looking woman’s mouth, but it wasn’t a loud swear. It made me chuckle.

“Anywho, my name’s Gwennie! I actually just married into the pack the same year you were born. And goodness, I thought that this girlie hasn’t had any of the ground cherry jam I’ve been giving away each summer since I finished my garden!”

The shifter woman pulled out a jar filled with a pale gold jam and tied off with a beautiful royal blue ribbon at the top. “Where ya be putting welcome gifts around here?”

“Welcome gifts?” I murmured, eyes wide. I hadn’t even considered how people might offer gifts.

“I gotchu,” Keller said, all grins as he stepped forward. “We have a table set up right over here.”

“Fantastic! This is for you, young sir. Good to see you around again.” The woman procured yet another item from her person. Now it was Caleb’s turn to stare, apparently on the same page as me vis-a-vis not expecting gifts.

“Me?” he said.

“It was my suggestion,” the tall man at Gwennie’s side said, his voice incredibly quiet. If I wasn’t a shifter, I wouldn’t have heard him at all.

“It was!” Gwennie said, still holding the small bag out. “It’s venison my honey here caught! Cured and dried it myself. I hope you like it!”

“T-thank you,” Caleb said, taking what must’ve been a bag of jerky. I easily picked up notes of pepper, gaminess, and teriyaki seasoning within the bag. Whew, being a shifter had a lot of interesting side effects I’d never considered, like the fact that I was suddenly ravenous.

My body evidently let off some chemical reaction or physical sign, because Gwennie let out a good-natured laugh while Caleb’s gaze held protective concern.

“Listen to me rambling on when you must be starving! I remember when I first shifted, I felt like I could eat a horse!”

“Didn't you say you managed to slip your guardian the second time you shifted and ate a horse your family had to pay for?” The tall man, who I guessed was her husband, asked nonchalantly.

I had to admit, it was adorable to watch Gwennie’s heart-shaped face turn brilliant red. “Ignore him! Here, let me take you over to Ivan’s grill. I swear, he makes the best grilled brats you ever had!”

That was how Caleb and I got led to another part of the bonfire area where there were indeed delicious brats waiting for us. I chowed down on an unhealthy number of them and got introduced to even more people. As with human groups, there was a range of personalities: people who just wanted to say hi and bye, people like Gwennie, Wakwi, and Lonnie who wanted to chat, and people who just stared.

Was it intimidating? Yes, but also so incredibly welcoming. A lot of times, if I thought too hard about my situation, I felt overwhelmed. Learning in my twenties that I was an entirely different species made me feel a step behind everyone. Who knew that something as simple as grills, good food, and lots of conversation would help put me at ease?

One of the biggest things I’d worried about was how the pack would treat Caleb. I knew I’d fretted too much about it. When he shared what had happened after my disappearance, I was afraid they’d still hold that against him, which I maintained was incredibly unfair. He was chosen to be my guardian at an insanely young age, barely a teenager, and two adult predators took advantage of him in order to whisk me away.

Who knew what would’ve happened if it weren’t for the car accident that’d taken their lives, leaving me as the only survivor? I’d have ended up in the custody of someone like Gray or been killed. No matter what, it wasn’t Caleb’s fault, and I’d fight anyone who implied it was.

We weren’t mates, but he was my guardian, and the man I’d chosen to give my virginity to. That meant a lot to me.

As the night wore on, I caught more whispers. At first, they were few and far between, barely caught between the revelry. As people sat down and tucked into their food, conversation ebbed, which allowed me to catch the occasional full sentence. None of it was too inflammatory, thankfully, but it was awkward.

…heard she lived as a human.

Can’t believe they found her!

…smells the same.

…if only…Henry could see.

He’s turned it around, hasn’t he?

We should be careful. Neither of them get pack life.

Do you think we could adopt her for her first Christmas with the pack?

But then, as I moved to a second grill group and was eating a delicious venison kebab, complete with grilled onions, pepper, and corn on the cob, those whispers suddenly got a whole lot louder.

What do you mean Zach is having Black Hawks come here?

I dunno, it’s just what I heard.

“Why the hell would he do that?!”

A more audible voice now. It took some real willpower for me not to turn around and stare at the three shifters talking twenty feet away.

“Hey, they kidnapped my grandfather when he was just a little kid. He made sure my dad and even all of us grandkids never forgot!”

For a moment, it felt wrong that it could be his grandfather. Then I remembered Lonnie and just how old shifters could get in a supportive community.

“Hey,” another woman said, “this isn’t the time or place. You’re going to give a bad impression to our newcomers.”

“ Newcomer!” the man snapped. “As in singular. The other is a pack reject who’s caused more harm than most feral wolves ever have!”

At that, I turned around, and it was only Caleb’s firm hand on my shoulder that kept me in place.

“Let them be,” he said with a sigh.

I didn’t want to, though. Rage was bubbling up inside, so white-hot and virulent I couldn’t think of anything else but defending my mate. How dare they talk about him like that! I was going to rip out the?—

Not my mate.

Fuck. I needed to stop doing that.

But my body somehow gave away my emotional state, because the group was looking in my direction. Well, looked like the cat was out of the bag.

“What?!” My voice sounded strange. In fact, my mouth was moving clunkily around my words, like my jaw was taking a different shape.

Fucking weird.

“Emily,” Caleb said softly. “Everyone can smell how angry you are right now.”

“Good!” I shot back. “Let them.”

His voice was soothing and gentle as his hand applied more pressure, not in a controlling way but instead grounding my body. “Letting your pheromones spike this way without muffling comes off as rude. No one’s going to judge you as you’re a new shifter, but this could be a good time to try.”

The voice in my head wanted to snarl and tell each person around me to go fuck themselves. Thankfully, I managed to get a hold of that instinct and push it down a bit. I was in the middle of a welcoming party where most of the attendees were extraordinarily lovely. I didn’t need to ruin it, especially since there were a bunch of kids around, laughing and playing in the crisp air.

That thought reined me back in, and I tried my best to ignore the rage. Meanwhile, the angriest of the group marched off. I heard more conversations popping up all around, no doubt spread by wherever he’d walked off to privately fume. I didn’t blame him in a way, but I felt stuck in the middle. I didn’t have a say in the Black Hawks one way or another. I’d been a full shifter for less than a week.

“I thought y’all would’ve been aware that it’s rude to gossip,” Zach’s voice cut through the whole party, and I craned my neck to see where he was standing. It wasn’t like he was shouting. No, in fact, his voice sounded quite level, as if he was speaking normally.

“I have indeed invited their alpha, Tayen, to come and meet in the heart of our territory,” Zach continued. “We’ve been at each other’s throats for generations, and at this point, it makes no sense, especially since there are faults on both sides.”

“They kidnapped our young!” someone shouted.

“We used colonialism to steal their lands, their assets,” Zach answered. “We didn’t intercede when settlers went after them for being Natives. I know it’s hard to acknowledge sins none of us were alive for, or had a choice in, but they’re still affecting us to this day.”

There were more murmurs, but Zach’s eyes had hardened. “Enough of this,” he said. “If it’s something you wish to discuss, you can come talk about it with me on another day, not when everyone is enjoying themselves. If you have worries, I’m happy to listen to them. I ask all of you, though, to look within yourselves and ask how much the tensions between our packs have hurt us compared to the Black Hawks.”

There were some indistinct murmurings at that, and I felt my cheeks flush. I knew I wasn’t a part of the Black Hawk debate, that it went way beyond the short time I was involved with the pack, but I still felt responsible.

“There you are!”

A hand was on my arm, but something within told me I didn’t need to be startled, that it was a friend touching me. Sure enough, when I looked, I saw none other than Wakwi there, dressed from head to toe in plaid. Somehow, she pulled it off.

“You’re too young to spend all your time with these fuddy-duddies,” she said. “Here, come play with me and the kids!”

She already started hauling me off, and while I looked back at Caleb, he just smiled and waved. That was a stamp of approval as far as I was concerned. Besides, Wakwi’s kids seemed nice enough. I was sure that it’d be fun to play with them.

As it turned out, however, Wakwi wasn’t talking about playing with just her children. She was in charge of setting up different games for all the kids, teenagers, and the young at heart to play away from the bonfire. It wasn’t an area in exile, but it held enough distance that someone had built a smaller but respectable fire to give the party some ambience. There were Frisbees as well as a little toy badminton setup, corn hole, horseshoes, jump rope, and a four square box. A quartet of teenage boys seemed more interested in hitting each other than properly bouncing the ball into other squares. I also saw two kids playing jacks on a big piece of cardboard while using their cellphones to illuminate the area better.

It really was a party.

I was barely there when a preteen girl ran up to me, a broad smile across her cherubic features. “Hey, we need another person for Double Dutch! Can you jump rope?”

“I haven’t in a while, but I can try,” I said.

“Okay, then. Come with me!”

With that, she took my hand, and I got pulled into what turned out to be a serious planning session on who’d hold the ropes and what song would be used. But as I watched, occasionally chiming in, I wondered if this whole wolf thing wasn’t so bad after all.

The afternoon slowly passed into evening, the bonfires mimicking the setting sun and the coral illumination retreating from the sky like molten gold pouring in reverse. Evening turned into night. I spent my time playing, laughing, eating, and watching the stars emerge one by one from the inky expanse above our heads, so much more visible than when they were in the city.

For the first time since finding out I was a shifter, I was at peace.

It was a nice feeling, if not a fleeting one, but I let myself revel in it. The only thing that took away from this feeling was wishing my parents were there, too. I’d already met a few of the older pack members who’d just love talking about their favorite authors with my folks or going over nostalgia-soaked days. For their part, my parents would be tickled pink at being far from being the oldest at the party. Because my parents had adopted me later in life, they’d spent a whole lot of time as the eldest couple at any parental function.

But as time went on, the party started winding down. The parents with young children went first, then the elderly, then those with preteens, and so on and so forth until finally, it was us younger adults and single, middle-aged folks. The vibe became a lot more sedate after that, but I was still restless, like there was too much energy beneath my skin. I was itching to do something, I just didn’t know what.

It was while we were sitting in a couple of fold-out chairs, chowing down on some deliciously cooked venison dogs slathered in caramelized onions, that Caleb turned to me with a contemplative expression on his face.

“Want to go for a walk?” he asked.

“A walk?” I repeated between bites. “Into the woods?”

“Nah, I was thinking the moon.” I nudged him with my foot, and he sent me the cheekiest grin. “Yep, the woods. There are some trails we’ve got that go out quite a way. It can be real nice if you wanna clear your head.”

Could he sense that as night took root, my mind had become more contemplative, or did he just know me well enough to tell by my face? Either way, it made me feel so seen.

“You know what, yeah, let’s go for a walk,” I said. “You can show me your favorite spot, if you have one.”

“I do. Runs right by a creek, and there’s some cool trees around it.”

I knew walking around at night, especially in the woods, was tricky, but Caleb would keep me safe.

Oh, wow.

I did trust Caleb—not even a sliver of doubt in my mind. What a difference from when I’d been in that makeshift cage in the hotel. I wished I could go back in time and hold Emily’s hand, to tell her Caleb would be there if he could. That it was only a few days, and that wouldn’t be so hard.

If werewolves existed, why not time travel?

We said our goodbyes to those around us, and no one seemed surprised by our departure. I got the impression we weren’t the only ones out and about enjoying nature. The wilderness was such a different experience when you were part of the wild yourself. Granted, I didn’t feel like I was some powerful wolf, even though I’d transformed once. I still felt like Emily. A stressed Emily with a good sense of smell, but Emily.

That was a relief.

Caleb and I didn’t say much as we strolled away from the party towards the parking lot we’d first arrived in. I’d been surprised and impressed by the sheer scope of the campground when I’d gotten my tour. I expected something a lot smaller and more rustic. I was so wrong, but I was definitely happy about it.

“Do you smell that?” Caleb asked as we got further into the tree line. He was walking such a specific path that it seemed he was on a trail. I couldn’t make out any markings to delineate where we were supposed to go, though.

“Smell what?” I looked around more keenly, realizing I saw far more than I normally would. As I glanced back up at the sky, I could see that it was indeed nearing the dead of night. I should’ve been stumbling around in the complete darkness. Yet, I could make out almost everything, as if it was just an overcast day.

Being a wolf was intense.

“Just the world,” Caleb said. “One of the reasons I live so far out from the city is because the smell of it is so strong. The diesel. The gas. The exhaust. Hundreds of thousands of people and hundreds of thousands of colognes, not to mention the unfortunate ones who should be wearing some deodorant and aren’t.”

I thought back to whenever it got warm at college and I walked by the freshman dorms. “Oh, I know what you mean by that.”

We shared a chuckle, but after that, I focused on taking a deep breath in through my nose. Wow . How had I not noticed before? The deliciously grilled food and burning wood on the bonfire had distracted me. Now, it was like a thousand different aspects of the night were being interpreted all at once. The smell of the earth, of pine and sap, of a dozen different types of trees mixed together in an indescribable bouquet. I could smell the cold itself, sharp and crisp in my lungs. There was water, too. Refreshing, inviting even, while the woods beckoned like they’d always been waiting.

“That’s incredible,” I said when I was finally ready to speak again. I now had an entire lifetime to scent things in a way that wasn’t physically possible before. I didn’t think about those sorts of things outside of the shower and making sure my beauty products went well together. It was like an entirely new world had opened up to me.

“It is, isn’t it?” Caleb murmured.

“Is this what your home smells like to you?” I said, thinking back to the fond memories in his cabin.

“They’re pretty similar, but there are some differences. I don’t have a creek this close to my cabin, and more of my scent is there. Makes it smell like home.”

He was just as far from his home as I was from mine. Would he go back? I’d assumed he’d stay by my side because he was my guardian, but in reality, the only danger was in my attacking others, not him.

“Are you heading back there?” I tried to ask in the most casual way possible. I didn’t need my newly enhanced hearing to know I failed.

“I will if Zach sends me, but I’ve reserved one of the cabins here for travelers, so I don’t see that happening anytime soon.” He stopped speaking as if lost in thought. “Unless you meant eventually? I suppose I don’t know right now. A lot of things are in limbo that I never expected to be.”

“Like what’s going on with the Black Hawk Pack?”

“That’s a big part of it. If Zach gives them their territory back, that’s where my cabin is, so I might have to clear out. If you stay here, I’d want to be closer, anyway. Hard to be a guardian forty-five minutes away.”

I gasped, looking at him with wide eyes. My heart skipped a couple of beats. “You’d give up your cabin for me?”

The expression he gave was like it was a matter of course. “I don’t see it as giving it up. If I do end up letting it go, I’ll be making choices and adapting to our new situation, whatever that might be.”

Our new situation. Not his .

I knew I was getting a little too obsessive about minute details, but it meant a lot that Caleb already saw me as part of his future. I’d been stupid enough to fall in love with my guardian after he’d helped me with an intimate issue, but at least I could deal with the complications of that while he was nearby. That seemed a lot better than the alternative.

“Oh, okay,” I said. “That’s good to know.”

Caleb looked like he wanted to say something else, but thankfully, he let it drop. “The creek should be up this way.”

It was pretty, and the sound of the water rushing over the rocks was some solid ASMR. Amazing to see the entire scene so clearly when it was pitch-black outside.

Caleb and I stood there, just listening, breathing everything in: the flora, the fauna, the spirit of the place. I understood why the pack had made a trail leading to this area. I was grateful for the walk, even if we’d only been away from the party for twenty minutes. I wasn’t a hiking girl—normally, this would have been plenty for me—but the itch was still inside my skin, longing for something with no name. When I looked to Caleb to try and say what was going on, I could only open my mouth and close it again.

But those deep chocolate eyes of his carried knowledge I could spot even from where he was standing, and a slow smile spread across his handsome face.

“Do you want to see what it’s like being a wolf? Not caged, able to stretch your legs… well, paws ?”

Oh.

He was asking if I wanted to shift.

Out in the open.

Where I could run off and do… any number of terrible things my wolf mind suggested when I first shifted.

Fuck.

The thought of shifting again got the adrenaline flooding and my stomach twisting. Not exactly surprising, given how the first one went. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to experience that again, but I wasn’t a coward. Ever since I’d faced down my eating disorder, I liked to think I was good at not letting trauma rule my life.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Caleb said, taking a step towards me. “I can tell you from experience that first shifts are not easy, and yours was worse than a normal one. But you didn’t have me then. Didn’t have pack . But you do now, and you feel it, don’t you?”

Despite the odds, I had a full community, and while I didn’t know them all that well, the foundation laid so far was promising.

“Besides, I’m sure being here on our ancestral land, surrounded by pack, and not being in such a stressed state will make a huge difference,” Caleb continued. “I can do better than whatever his name was.”

“Ooh,” I joked. “Is that jealousy I hear?”

“Ha! Maybe.”

I was surprised when he admitted it, but then he gave me that serious look again, the one that always took my breath away. “But he also doesn’t know you like I do,” Caleb said.

I swallowed hard. “You an expert on me, then?” I tried to say it with a joking lilt, so I could play it off like he didn’t affect me, but it fell flat.

Caleb, being far more gracious than I deserved, didn’t poke fun at me. Instead, he just gave me one an assuring grin. “An expert? No. But I like to think I’m at least a dutiful acolyte.”

“Acolyte? You’re making me sound like a Jedi.”

He shot me a skeptical look and rubbed his chin. “I dunno. You sure you’re not a Sith?”

I let out a mock gasp, my hand on my heart. “How dare you, good sir! I assure you, I am a most respectful member of the Jedi Order.”

“Is that so?”

“It is,” I said with misplaced resolve. I’d only ever watched six of the Star Wars movies with my father. He’d tried to get me into the books, but I never had the gumption.

“Good for you. But as for me…” He took a step closer, and then there he was, enveloping all of my senses. God, had he always smelled so good? I’d always liked it, but now a physical force glided down my spine in a deliciously sinful passage. “I don’t think I could ever give up meaningful attachments.”

“Oh.”

Verbose as ever.

“So, what do you say? Think you’d be game to at least try? You can always say no.”

I gave it some thought. The idea of shifting with Caleb grew a little more exciting with each passing second. I was alone the last time, then with another wolf from a different pack—one in human form, at that. While Bray had helped me, there was plenty of detachment between us, neither of us sure if we could trust the other. Caleb was right about being in a cage, but here, I had all of Camp Maplewood and the territory around it to run free.

“We can try,” I said finally, letting bravery build in my chest.

“Are you certain?” Caleb asked, and his voice wasn’t doubtful but cautiously optimistic. I was proud that he was so invested in my life as a wolf.

I nodded.

“Close your eyes,” he said, his voice a deep rumble.

I obeyed and took note of how instantly my other senses expanded. I could feel the air like the touch of a hand as it danced across my skin, lifting the hairs on my arm. It’d rained recently in the area, an icy, bitter shower, and I smelled the damp lingering on the leaves. I heard the sound of nocturnal forest creatures walking along the branches above us and toads croaking by the stream. It was a beautiful cacophony of nature, all somehow balanced together when it should’ve just been noise.

“There you are,” he said encouragingly. “Good.”

“How do you know? I could just be pretending.”

“You smell awfully happy and content if you’re pretending.”

“You can smell all that? ”

“Pheromones communicate a lot, especially with new wolves who haven’t learned how to handle them all yet. But you’ll get there. Take a deep breath.”

I did, inhaling the forest yet again, letting it fill up my lungs.

“Now try reaching out even further. Just… let go. Let your body do what it wants.”

“Is there something I should be listening for?”

“Hmmm, if you need to focus on something specific… can you hear that chipmunk?”

I frowned as I sorted through the nearby sounds, continuing to push outward in a slow and steady slide. There it was! I could hear a chipmunk chewing on an acorn a mile away. Even though I couldn’t see it, an image was conjured up in my mind of it turning the nut back and forth, its teeth bumping into various spots, looking for an opening to crack it.

How was this even possible?

“Pretty cool, huh?” Caleb said, reading my face.

I nodded, gobsmacked. Was this how Caleb lived all the time ?

“Let’s try to go even further. Just on the edge of my limit, there’s a bear. I can sense it, but I can’t tell what it’s doing. Seasoned wolves have more refined senses and know how to interpret the info better, and new wolves are even stronger. They haven’t been dulled down by years of exposure yet. I bet you could tell me what it’s doing if you tried.”

“I feel like you’re giving this newbie a little too much credit,” I said. If I was already sensing a chipmunk with an acorn miles away, how could I reach out even further?

“Just give it a shot.”

It was like a force field in my mind, a sensory bubble, and he was asking me to stretch it. Well, if Caleb believed in me, I might as well try. Worse came to worse, I still had the chipmunk.

I focused and pushed with my entire being, filtering through sounds and smells, searching for the bear in question. Just when I was about to give up and tell him I didn’t have this exceptional gift all the newbies had, a splash slapped against my ear.

It was distant, but there it was again, as if I were watching from several yards away. I could see, in my mind, a furry black paw dipping into the water.

“Fishing!” I nearly jumped for joy until my self-consciousness kicked in and told me I was being cringy. Then I remembered I deserved to celebrate the victory and let myself jump all I wanted.

“See? I knew that you could do it. You’re incredible in every way.”

The warmth in his words enveloped me like a blanket. I guessed he was releasing calming pheromones my way. It was working, as I felt a lot less anxious than just moments before.

“Now that you have a good handle on your senses, let them take over you,” he instructed. “Just fall into it. You are choosing to let go instead of having control ripped away from you.”

Right. This was different from the first time. It wasn’t some panicky, feverish descent into feral instinct. It was something much more… natural.

I could feel the wolf inside me becoming increasingly present as I took in my surroundings. As she rose rapidly to the surface, she wanted to feel the air ruffling her fur, too.

“Can you feel her?” Caleb asked.

I nodded, unwilling to speak and break the building momentum. I was still scared, but not like when I’d first shifted. It was more of a… cautious slide rather than an unhinged freefall.

“Excellent! Just remember, you have to welcome her. She is a part of you just as much as you are of her. You can hear each other’s thoughts and communicate, but those things will come in time. For now, you just have to trust her to take over.”

That was easy enough for him to say. Surrendering control wasn’t exactly my strong suit. With so many impossible or traumatic things that happened in my life, control was in short supply and incredibly hard not to cling to. Yet, I knew he was right. I learned the hard way that fighting the wolf would only hurt. It had almost killed me.

“Feel her mind intertwining with yours. Envision her body becoming real, growing within you until she’s just under your skin. I know you don’t know exactly what your wolf looks like, but that’s okay. You know what she feels like.”

I didn’t think there was a single aspect of that experience I’d ever forget. I remembered the fear, then the anger. The lack of understanding of humans, seeing everything as either prey or a threat. Most of all, I recalled the hunger.

As if he’d read my mind, Caleb kept right on going. “Right now, you don’t have to worry about hurting anybody. I’m here to keep you in check. I’m an alpha, so you’re already pretty inclined to listen to me, but I’ll show you how to hunt, too.”

Did that mean he’d shift, too? A thrill went through me as I realized I’d only fleetingly seen him in his wolf form. The idea of us shifting together felt surprisingly… intimate.

Caleb continued, apparently unaware of the blush on my cheeks. “We’ll try to grab a little snack. I’m sure your wolf will just be happy to run for the first time before that kicks in.”

I was still dubious, but his words were reassuring, and I felt a strange earnestness coming from my wolf. That was when a voice rose up from within. Nothing audible, but a word, nonetheless.

Run.

Run!

Run, run, run, run, run!!!

I wondered if with time, the wolf communicated with more than just singular words or feelings. But now I needed to concentrate.

I focused on the sensations in my last transformation: the enlargement of my body, my sight getting higher and higher as I got taller before suddenly falling forward, the fur sprouting from my skin in large, thick waves.

Then the cracking began. Ouch.

“You’re doing it!” Caleb exclaimed. “Try to see past the displacement of your bones and just focus on the wolf—its aura, its energy. You should feel its power overwhelming you.”

I did as he said and focused on my wolf. Her strength—her essence—was massive. I let her wash over me and felt myself shifting.

I was doing it!

My temperature rose quickly, and I knew instantly why shifters didn’t need jackets. If I was going to feel this heat all the time, I wouldn’t, either. I was growing again, shedding my human form and becoming that of an enormous wolf.

So many sensations, noises gross yet empowering. It was intense. Too intense, yet it felt perfectly right. Something always meant to be.

Then, just as thoroughly as it’d enveloped me, it vanished.

Was… was I done? My eyes darted around, taking in the campground.

Mate.

My much larger head whipped to the left, and there was another wolf, shaking out its dark fur, its even darker eyes meeting mine. The power of his wolf gaze was overpowering. I instantly assumed a submissive stance, and the wolf in front of me grinned in a way that felt entirely inhuman. It was an odd sight, but my wolf just shook her head in acquiescence. Was this that alpha effect Caleb had mentioned?

You look incredible, Caleb growled, and though I didn’t quite understand what he meant, I preened at what sounded like praise. Now let yourself run.

My mind got flooded with this single order.

Run?

Run!!!

I didn’t have a moment to think of anything else because in the next second, the trees were whipping by. I’d taken off, sprinting into the woods without any reservations. My paws flew, my breath rasped in and out of my lungs, and my blood sang in my veins.

I was getting awfully far from Caleb, but my wolf wasn’t concerned. I leapt and bound over stray logs, going deeper and deeper into the forest. I took in each leaf, each line on the tree bark I went past, just absorbed in the beauty of nature.

It was amazing, unlike anything I thought possible. I could hear other shifters distantly, but I felt completely unthreatened. For some reason, this felt like home. I’d been there for less than a week, but that was the truth of the matter.

I heard something strange from behind, then a familiar scent struck. It made my heart skip a beat, but I somehow managed not to faceplant as the massive wolf sprinted right beside mine.

In any other instant, the wolf would’ve been a threat, but my mind was repeating that same word it had blurted out before.

Mate.

Mate!

Maaaate!!!

Caleb let out a sharp, happy bark as he finally caught up, then ran alongside me. My inner wolf wanted to howl in pleasure, but I couldn’t quite figure out how to do that. That didn’t matter—what did matter was the thrill and this rush of happiness. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of being the other, I belonged.

The two of us reached the stream I’d seen in my mind, and it was just as beautiful as it had sounded, the cold water running over rocks worn smooth by its eternal passage. I didn’t think I’d ever get tired of taking this all in.

Together, the two of us stopped for a drink, Caleb nuzzling his muzzle against mine. It was like a furry heating pad, an intimate gesture without being a big deal, just… natural. Caleb was so warm, radiating even more heat than I felt inwardly, and I liked it. My wolf seemed content with the gesture and put my nose against his. We gazed into each other’s eyes until I heard a crack, and my ears flitted in that direction.

The delineation between my wolf and me was so strange. I knew that technically, we were the same person. I was me, and she was her, but it felt like someone else was piloting my body and I was just there to witness it. It wasn’t too dissimilar from being drunk, except I felt so much more physically confident.

Wait.

What was that?

I didn’t even have to try hard to sense a deer stopping for a drink of water several yards away.

Hunger.

Hunger!

HUNGER!

I took off instantly, bloodlust consuming my mind. Nothing could knock me out of my hunt.

Well, nothing except Caleb leaping in front of me, his toothy maw snapping inches away from my face.

Stop!

I halted, skidding to a stop as I looked at him in bewilderment. Wait, how… how could I hear that? How could I understand him? That was when I realized he’d spoken in the same way before, when he’d ordered me to run. I’d just been so high on the experience that I hadn’t given it a second thought.

Hunt carefully. Otherwise, you’ll scare it off.

Oh.

My wolf and I both instantly understood that he’d teach me how to fill my belly. She was thrilled, longing to gorge herself on blood and viscera, while I was still busy figuring out how I understood him. I wanted to tell him I was game for a lesson, but I couldn’t. Instead, I sighed and dipped my lower body towards the earth. I didn’t know what told me to do that, but Caleb understood and turned away.

Fascinated, I watched as he slowly stalked the deer, going closer before looking back as if I should follow. I did, and while it wasn’t like the big cats I’d watched in nature documentaries, it was strategic. Together, we crept closer to where the mammal was drinking from the stream.

We were only a few trees away when it raised its head, having sensed incoming danger. For a moment, it appeared to listen, then went back to drinking.

Stay here, Caleb’s wolf form ordered before he skulked away. I wanted to protest. Why were we separating when we were so close? But I didn’t want to tip off our prey when we were doing well. I swallowed my protests and tried to be still.

Easier said than done.

My wolf was pleased and decided to creep just a little closer. Surely it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to move one more inch. Actually, one more inch. Okay, now a third?—

CRACK!

Was that me?

I looked and saw a dry stick beneath my paw.

Shit.

Everything happened at once, or at least that’s how it felt for my wolf senses. The deer’s head lurched up as it made direct eye contact with my wolf. The area grew deathly quiet, as if the whole world knew a predator was at work.

I took the only choice I had and burst forward. Naturally, the deer took off, but I was in full pursuit.

The neck! my wolf side screamed. Neck, neck! Blood! Prey! Kill, eat, eat, eat!

But the deer was so fast . After all, its survival was based on it. Despite my incredible speed, I could see it gaining distance on me, pulling further and further ahead.

Was I going to lose it? Caleb was going to be so disappointed. My wolf let out a whimper as we raced along.

Then, as if appearing out of the air, Caleb burst out of a line of bushes and landed a yard or two in front of the deer, emitting a vicious snarl. The deer skidded to a stop and tried to turn, as any sane creature would.

Emily, now!

I obeyed without a second’s delay, pouncing onto the deer and closing my jaw around its neck. I felt my teeth sink in, and blood flowed freely into my mouth. The deer was still fighting me off, but Caleb joined in, and the two of us easily subdued it.

It was raw, visceral. Something that would horrify my human self, but my inner wolf was downright jubilant. Everything she’d screamed for, for so long, was finally hers.

I felt bad for her, in a way. She was a living, breathing thing with wants and desires, but had spent most of her time shoved into a tiny box in my mind, often forced to slumber. No wonder she’d been so angry, so ready to rip and tear when I’d first shifted.

I’d have been the same way, too.

Once Caleb and I ate, the strangest thing happened. Bit by bit, the maelstrom of thoughts and instincts in my mind dimmed. It felt like I was rising up to the surface, becoming more and more human by the second.

I was still a wolf, just… more of a hybrid than before.

Once I was completely full, I flopped to the side. Caleb came over to lie beside me, licking at my bloody muzzle. I let him, and if I was a cat, I’d have purred in contentment.

Time faded from relevance as I dozed on and off, feeling not too different from the effects of a good Thanksgiving meal. I was pleasantly stuffed and fully content.

For the moment, at least.

I was in a pleasant bliss, just me, Caleb, and my wolf, somewhere between human and animal, but as I sank deeper and deeper into relaxation, something… strange was happening. It was like the balance in me was slowly shifting, and I was sliding further and further away from my wolf.

I barely noticed the strange slipping sensation when the world cracked around me. I’d risen onto my four legs as my fur fell off in sloughs, and moments later, my vision was completely obscured by steam.

When I was able to see again, I was human once more, on my hands and knees, staring at the ground beneath me. The shift happened in a split second, like I’d been violently ripped from my wolf form and thrown into my human body.

Ow.

I heard a soft, rumbling sound in front of me and blearily looked up to see Caleb’s wolf eyeing me in concern. For a moment, I got caught up with just how beautiful he was, his fur dark, his eyes so intense. Did I look like that? It wasn’t exactly like I’d had a chance to admire myself in the mirror.

I carefully reached for him, not sure what I was doing until my fingers touched the thick fur on the side of his face. I didn’t expect it to be so soft , but it was, allowing my hand to sink deeper and deeper into his coat.

“Wow…” I breathed, not sure what else to say. Never in a million years did I think I’d be so close to an insanely powerful and primordial beast, let alone one that could shift into a human.

Goosebumps rose along my arms, spreading in a wave as I took in the power and majesty of shifters. It was insane to think that just minutes earlier, I was the same.

Wow. I was a wolf.

I was a wolf.

For the first time since I discovered the truth, pride blossomed in my chest. I was part of a magical line of people with incredible abilities stretching back ages. I felt connected to the earth and my ancestors in a way I’d never imagined.

I pressed my hand to Caleb’s head as his fur receded, and I watched, thoroughly enraptured, as his fur peeled away in a wave until once more, my vision was obscured by thick steam. I didn’t quite understand why it didn’t burn me, but I was grateful. The transformation took massive amounts of energy, so the steam was the direct result.

A few moments later, it subsided, and Caleb was in his human form, looking at me with a gaze so intense, it made me shiver. God, it was hard not to think there was something deeply romantic between us when he stared at me like that. I knew better, but what else could I think when those deep, dark eyes of his made me feel like the center of the world?

“That can happen sometimes if you tire yourself out too quickly,” he said after a long beat, his voice gravelly. I wondered whether mine would sound the same if I spoke. “The more you practice, the more gracefully you’ll change between forms, but considering we just ate a big meal, your wolf wanted to relax and bask in the satisfaction of a successful hunt.”

Well, that explained my first time feeding and why I’d immediately felt like it was bedtime. That whole experience was hazy, but I’d been violently launched out of my wolf body then, too.

It was nice to know these things now. Whoever had deprived me of Caleb’s company during my first shift was a total piece of shit, and if I got a chance, I’d show them exactly what I thought of their machinations.

But for the moment, I was content to forget all that and just focus on the loveliness of the night. I felt more at home in my body than I’d been in quite a while. I was Emily, the wolf shifter, but still always me.

Caleb extended his hand to help me up. I took it and groaned as I stood up. My body ached something fierce. I sure could’ve used some of that super-advanced healing.

“Sore?” Caleb asked. “That happens at first, too. It’ll become less and less the more you shift.”

Once I was fully on my feet and able to walk, if only barely, Caleb led us back towards the campground. I could already hear the faintest sounds of town life and smell the leftover aromas from the party.

With every step, I felt steadier, going from a shaky baby deer that could hardly stand on wobbly legs to something more akin to a tall penguin. Not exactly as graceful or free as my wolf self, but that was alright.

Thankfully, I had my guardian, so I felt safe even in my weakened state. Caleb was walking in front, leading me back to Zach’s. All I could focus on was his muscular shoulders and his arm around my waist, supporting my body. He smelled so delicious. How was that even possible? We’d literally just been wild animals, lying on the ground after their bloody kill. It didn’t seem possible, yet I wanted to bury my nose in his chest and take in his scent until my eyes crossed.

Fuck, he was so hot. I’d always known that, but it seemed important at the moment. There was the inherent romance of the dark velvet sky above us and Caleb’s scent heady in the air, bringing me back to sharing my first time with him.

After he’d informed me that I was a wolf and transforming soon, I was overtaken by the thought of everything changing so quickly. Honestly, it was just as vivid now as it was that day: the human concern that before my life turned magical, I hadn’t even experienced one of the most important milestones. I didn’t regret it, either. I was happy that I’d gotten to experience what it was like to share my body as a human with someone I trusted.

Now I wondered how it felt to do the same as a wolf…

I knew I needed to abandon my line of thinking before the entire town smelled how horny I was. But then memories welled up of Caleb’s strong body on top of mine, his weight pressing me down into the mattress, while that hard cock of his teased around my entrance.

“Whoa!” No longer paying attention to the path, I tripped over a log. The sudden pitch of my body pulled me out of Caleb’s grip, and both of us let out a shout of surprise as I toppled into a ditch.

It wasn’t a deep hole, and I sat at the bottom, breathless. I would’ve fallen into it even if the log hadn’t been there, but it struck me as particularly funny for some reason. Adrenaline drop-off?

“Emily!” Caleb stumbled after while trying not to fall in himself. It did make me feel better that he was struggling, too. I may have not been as graceful as a ballerina, but at least he wasn’t leaving me completely in the dust. Er… mud. “Are you okay?”

“Just a little jumbled up.” I started brushing off the dirt, but it was much too late—my clothes were ruined. Between shifting in them, then falling into a muddy ravine, they needed a good wash.

Or nine.

“Here, I gotcha,” Caleb said as he helped me up. Thankfully, he pulled me onto my feet, and I was much more stable. But once I was steady, he was still frowning, and I sensed his worries.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

His concern was sweet, but I was so tired of things being serious. I was still giddy from everything that had happened, and even being covered in mud couldn’t damper that. I wanted to wipe that concern off his face and have him join in the fun with me.

There was only one way to do that. Giggling, I yanked his arm, and he tumbled into the ditch. I should have calculated better, because then his body was crashing against mine, sending me right back to the sticky ground I’d been extricated from.

“Emily!” Caleb cried, catching himself upright as his palms hit the ground on either side of my head.

“Whoopsies,” I said, blushing vibrantly. I was pleased with how my little action worked out, but was now acutely aware of Caleb’s body pressing on mine. Our gazes lingered on each other as our breath steadied, and that same wild feeling that’d come through me as a wolf returned.

I remembered the kiss we shared in Zach’s spare room when we first arrived at the camping grounds, and how Caleb appeared to regret it. Did he feel guilty still over not being there for my first transformation? Was he not interested in helping me out intimately anymore? It was true that at first, we’d only slept together so I’d have an experience no one else could. Was it foolish of me to assume that it’d continue now that I was a full wolf?

It was a sobering thought, and I couldn’t believe I’d never given it time before. I’d assumed once Caleb and I were reunited, things wouldn’t change.

Questions raced through my head, and even with my limited experience, I could tell it was seeping into my own scent. At the same time, there was no way Caleb wasn’t interested, even just physically. I could feel the bulge in his pants swelling against my leg, sense his blood pooling into his groin. I was fine with things being casual between us. I just knew I didn’t want to give up what we had. Our connection was unconventional, but that didn’t mean it was wrong.

So, I took a risk and crashed my lips into his before I could talk myself out of it, and holy fuck, I was right. Both my wolf and I were flooded with pleasure, and though a rumble didn’t issue out of my chest, I wanted to.

As for Caleb, his lips were warm and soft when they responded to my own, and I could feel myself getting drunk off his affection. God, I wanted to be closer to him, as close as physically possible. To merge into the same person, with no barrier between us.

Caleb’s strong hands were at my sides, his fingers biting into love handles I’d once been so ashamed of, but now were celebrated. His groin pressed further between my legs, and a moan escaped my lips. It felt like electricity in the air, and the heat resembled the wolf shift. My skin was prickling, the hair on my arms raised.

Mate!

The wolf strongly encouraged me, and my hips bucked upward towards his stiff member. He groaned into the kiss, his tongue sliding into my mouth, claiming me totally as my arms wrapped around his neck.

“I need you…” I whispered against his lips, all the walls between us collapsing. Because as anxious as I always was, as much as I got into my own head, I knew I could always be myself around Caleb, and that was all I wanted. My life had spun out into a thousand different impossible directions in the past month or so, but Caleb was always so steady.

But once I spoke, Caleb let out a sound like rolling thunder. Goosebumps spread along my skin, and suddenly, I was in his arms as he sprinted the rest of the distance towards Zach’s.

This, I could get behind.

Or if I was lucky, he’d be behind me soon enough.