The Wolf’s Whisper: The Complete Series

46. Emily

I was bored.

So. Fucking. Bored.

It wasn’t a feeling I’d been used to lately. The last month of my life had secretly been an eternity of non-stop, high-octane action, and I was finally getting a chance to do nothing.

Too bad I hated doing nothing.

I mean, this wasn’t exactly a surprise, given my academic history and even my eating disorder. But knowing that didn’t help the situation.

Already, I’d organized all the files and paperwork on my birth parents, sealing them in order in the boxes they came in. I was glad I had the information, yet I didn’t want to become obsessed with it. I’d skimmed over a lot, and had Caleb explain even more, but I wanted time to digest before I continued learning about these ghosts from my past.

Not only had I taken over loading and unloading the dishwasher, but I’d also vacuumed the whole house from top to bottom twice in two days and finished all the laundry. It’d gotten to the point where I was about to request a trip over to Lavender’s so I could help with anything she needed. However, I was nervous about asking for anything since the little snafu about my day trip.

No one was truly angry with me, but I still felt terrible for being so irresponsible. I also hadn’t seen Caleb since he’d gone off with Zach, though the head alpha came home later that night. I didn’t know if we were being purposely separated or if Caleb had gotten sent on an important mission with the Black Hawk Pack. I could’ve inquired, but the guilt was making me nervous about any interaction with Zach. He’d sounded so disappointed in me, and I dreaded that future discussion about my day trip.

“Hey there,” Daphne said.

I nearly jumped out of my own skin. My wolf senses sometimes took a backseat if I got distracted.

“Whoops, sorry about that! Didn’t mean to startle you.”

“That’s alright,” I said quickly, wiping my now-sweaty hands on my pants and giving her a smile. I wasn’t allowed to go back to my dorm, but someone clearly must have because I’d woken up with a bag of my belongings waiting outside the door. It was unnerving to think a stranger was in my space, but I appreciated the gesture. “Something up?” I asked.

“Yes. I was wondering if you’d like to go on a walk with me? There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

It was still mind-boggling that there were plenty more wolf shifters to meet. There were so many werewolves running around Colorado, with humans none the wiser.

“I’d love that,” I said. “Honestly, I’m going stir-crazy.”

Daphne chuckled. “I understand. The doctor ordered bedrest during my last trimester and after Simon’s birth. Wolf healing does a lot, but I had a lot of damage to go through.”

“Was it a difficult birth?”

“A difficult pregnancy. I couldn’t shift the whole time, and I was spotting from the start. I had the worst morning sickness—more like 24/7 morning sickness. I struggled with my metabolism and mainlined Ensures to keep on weight.”

Despite the traumatic things Daphne was saying, she sounded downright nostalgic, possibly because she got her son out of the experience.

“I’m sorry you went through that.”

She just shrugged. “We all have our struggles. I’m gonna change my pants, then we can head out.”

I nodded and went to grab an extra pair of socks for myself. On my pseudo-date with Caleb, I’d found that while my body was plenty adept at staying warm, my feet and hands still got chilly. Nevertheless, it was a marked improvement from how quickly my former body temperature dropped whenever the cold months rolled around.

The two of us headed outside together. I assumed Simon was with his friends rather than in his room because I couldn’t hear his heartbeat. I doubted that the matriarch next to me would leave her house without notifying her son, especially not after the recent shenanigans.

But to my surprise, when we stepped on the porch, there was someone waiting for us.

“Ah, on time, as usual,” Daphne said with a grin. “Lucas, this is Emily. Emily, this is Lucas, my guardian.”

Her guardian? I knew all wolves needed one for their first year of shifting, but I hadn’t thought about anybody else having one like Caleb. I’d just assumed I was, well, special.

“Nice to meet you,” the older man said. “I haven’t been by lately because I was hoping to give you space, but Daphne says you’ve been adjusting well.”

“Has she now?” I tried not to sound too pleased with myself.

“You’ve been a boon to the pack,” Daphne said to me, looping her arm in mine. “I’m not sure how much Caleb told you or not, but most people have family members act as their guardians. It’s not an official title and is considered a matter of course. However, for children of higher-ranking or notable shifters, someone is chosen from outside the family. That way, in case something were to happen, there’d still be protection for the child.

“My father is the alpha of a pack up in Canada, where I’m from originally,” she continued. “Unfortunately, there was a coup, and…” I heard Daphne’s throat tighten, and the sour taste of grief seeped into the air. “Well, Lucas, my guardian, got sent away with me in tow. That’s how I ended up here.”

“It was a fraught journey,” Lucas said with a nod. “But we made it, and I’ve had the privilege of watching my charge grow up into a leader of her people.”

I didn’t realize how much violence was in the shifter community if Daphne’s entire family had been wiped out and she simply never returned. I couldn’t imagine.

“You big softie,” Daphne said with a laugh before returning her attention to me. “Back when Zach was first courting me, he jumped through so many hoops to prove he was good enough for me.”

“I wanted to be sure,” Lucas said as if it was the most common sense thing in the world. “You know how alphas are. I had to see that he wasn’t a jerk who’d take you for granted, or force you into unhealthy submission.”

“True,” Daphne acknowledged. I met some pretty bone-headed ones in my day who believed their blood gave them the right to terrorize everyone around them.”

“I’ve only ever met two alphas,” I remarked. Honestly, both of them were pretty great. They had their flaws, but all in all, Caleb and Zach just wanted to do right by people.

“That’s true,” Daphne said. “Once things calm down, I hope you get a chance to travel and experience more of our culture. I know some of us come from rough roots, but I promise, on the whole, the shifter community is a wonderful thing to be in.”

I nodded, and the conversation continued at a leisurely pace, with Daphne occasionally talking to Lucas and sometimes to me. I never felt neglected when her attention was elsewhere. Instead, I looked around, observing all I could. The campground wasn’t as big as a city, but there was just so much life in it. I felt like there was so much more to learn, so much more to see.

Eventually, however, I realized we were on a side of Maplewood I hadn’t been on before. It was on the opposite side of both the parking lot and Zach’s place, but we kept walking past the houses, then past the warehouses and utility buildings until we were on a single path into the woods. I could’ve asked where we were going, but I figured I’d find out once we got there, and I was enjoying the conversation too much to interrupt.

What I didn’t expect was that when we parted the trees, we stepped into an old graveyard. I paused until my eyes landed on a trio of stones lined up neatly next to one another. They were clearly older, the passage of two decades having worn at their once-crisp edges, yet kept meticulously clean. All of the stones were, even the ones from centuries earlier.

But I paid no mind to them and went straight for the trio, as if an invisible cord drew me forward. I stopped a few feet in front of them, staring at the graves of my biological parents.

And myself.

It stood there plain as day, carved into the light marble. Kaia Garrick.

Most people never dealt with the experience of seeing their own burial plot, and I just didn’t know what to think of it. I just stared, hardly noticing when Daphne came up beside me while Lucas stayed at the cemetery entrance.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Daphne asked.

“I don’t even know what to say,” I said honestly. “I mean, it’s creepy to be looking at my own tombstone.”

“But it’s not yours,” Daphne said as if it was just a matter of course. “That’s where Kaia rests. You are Emily.”

I turned to the woman in surprise. Everyone here, and I truly meant everyone , treated me as an extension of Kaia. Daphne was the first to recognize us as separate people.

It was a silly thing to get hung up on, but it mattered to me. I recognized that once, I was Kaia, but only physically—nothing of my mind or what made me Emily was fully formed. She was a girl who never got to live, and while I was grateful, I had no desire to try and relive her short life. I was Emily, which was the long and short of it, and Daphne got that.

“Thank you” was all I said as I reached over. She gratefully took my hand, our fingers intertwining, and I recognized then how much I missed having friends—true friends. I’d had my little group in college, but none of them liked me, and I didn’t like them. It was stupid to have spent so much time in their circle being miserable, but I’d thought it was better than being alone.

Who’d have known genuine connection and respect made for a better experience?

“We can go if you want to,” Daphne said after a long moment. “You don’t have to stay here. I just thought it might be good to have some... closure.”

“I think I’d like to stay here a moment.”

“Take as much time as you need. Do you want me to stay here or go with Lucas?”

“You and Lucas talk. I have some stuff to work out.”

“No problem.”

Daphne retreated to the entrance of the cemetery, talking to her guardian in a lowered voice. I did my best to tune them out and focus on the gravestone in front of me.

“Hey, Kaia,” I said, trying hard not to think too hard about how I was talking to myself. But also… not. “I’m sorry things went the way they did. Your parents seemed lovely, and I’m sure you’d have been happy growing up with them. I wish you’d gotten a chance to live the life that you were supposed to. Some part of me will always mourn that for you. But I also love the life I’ve lived. It hasn’t been easy, no, but it’s mine. Your life was stolen, but I promise I’ll live the one I got in full. I will love hard, I will build community, and I won’t let fear rule any decision. Some part of you will always be within me, but only a part. I’m my own person… and… I think I understand that now. I’m Emily, and that’s enough.”

She didn’t say anything back, because of course she didn’t, but I felt a rich sense of contentment come over my soul. I finally no longer felt like an alien amongst humans. I understood fully what I was, where I came from, and who I wanted to be.

Not bad for a college student. I knew some people twice my age who hadn’t gotten that far.

I looked at the markers indicating that here lay the remains of two people I never knew, but were supposed to be the most important figures in my life.

“Mother, Father,” I said, though the monikers still felt so out of place. “I’m sorry for how everything happened. I wish you never had to go through all that pain. You were meant to be parents, and you had that taken away from you—you didn’t deserve that. No one does. But I promise you, I got taken care of. I was loved. I think you’d like my mom and dad. I haven’t had the easiest life, but they’ve always been there for me. Your daughter grew up loved and cherished, I promise.

“I’d like to think that one day, whatever happens at the end, all of us will get to know each other, and though it got long delayed… we can be a family. But until then, I swear I’ll be grateful for what I have. I’m not Kaia, but I’m only here because of you both. I’ll never forget that. Please, rest easy, and we will meet again. Thank you… for everything.”

I wasn’t surprised when I felt tears drip down my cheeks, but I wiped them away and took a long, satisfying breath. The forest air filled me once again, and I felt so inherently real . So connected to the moment, and the earth itself.

“I’m ready to go,” I said, turning back to my companions.

“Then let’s,” Daphne said.

The three of us walked back to Daphne’s house while Lucas excused himself on the porch. Evidently, he lived a couple of houses down with his wife.

“Thank you for coming with me,” Daphne said to me once we were inside.

“Thanks for inviting me. I appreciate it. I never would’ve even known that graveyard was there.”

“No problem, though I have to admit, the walk was also for a separate purpose.”

“Oh?” I hated the suspicious tone creeping into my voice, but no one could blame me, given how hectic my life had become.

“I wanted you to see me interact with my guardian. To understand how that relationship works in most pairings.”

“Uh-huh.” I could feel my walls slowly growing higher and higher, but I tried to push them down. Daphne at least deserved a moment to explain before I locked myself away. After all, she’d confessed this of her own free will. It wasn’t like she’d tricked me.

“Look, I’m not trying to pressure you into admitting anything you’re not ready to. I just wanted you to see that maybe, just maybe, your relationship with Caleb is different from the ones between typical guardians and charges.”

Oh.

“I see.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. “I’d say we’re different, yeah, but, uh, it’s not like we’re actually together.”

At that, Daphne’s eyes went wide, and I could smell her surprise from across the living room. “You’re not?”

“No. Caleb helped me out with a, uh, difficult situation before my first shift, and sometimes, uh, helps me feel better.”

Daphne blinked a few too many times before she spoke. “You have a friends-with-benefits situation with your guardian?”

“Um, yes?” I murmured. When she said it like that , it did sound weird. “Is that completely unheard of?”

“I’m sure it happens. It’s just, uh, unusual. But are you sure you’re just friends with benefits?”

“Well, no. He’s my guardian, too, so… I guess it’s best friends with extra benefits.”

“And that’s all you are?”

Now this one I was certain of. I’d developed feelings for Caleb, but I also knew he’d never strayed beyond his duties or the kindness I’d asked of him. “Yes.”

“Alright, then. I’ll trust your judgment.”

But the way she said it made clear she thought otherwise. Many people would’ve argued further, but I was so embarrassed, I dismissed myself and hurried towards my room.

So much for boredom. I had a lot to think about now.

I was all set to return to my room and dive into contemplation when I heard something strange on the edges of perception. I went back to the door, then I opened it and leaned outside. I was trying to catch the source of that strange keening, only for Daphne to nearly bowl me over.

“Something’s wrong!” She rushed to the garage before punching in the code that opened the door. I followed after, and it was only once the loud door finished lurching its way across the ceiling that I realized exactly what I was hearing.

A distress call.

“Come on,” Daphne said, pulling my attention back to reality. She was already on what looked like an ATV with the keys in her hand. For a pregnant woman, she sure moved fast. “I can’t shift, but you can. Either you come with me or stay here.”

I was far too nervous to shift without Caleb around. I opened my mouth to ask if I could ride with her, but she was already peeling past me. It looked like I either sucked it up or stayed behind.

I chose to suck it up, especially once I heard more voices join the keening wail. Whatever was happening was bad, and as a new member of the pack, I should help in an emergency.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine Caleb right there, instructing me as he’d done in the woods. I could do this. I was meant to be a wolf. I just had to expand my senses and let her take over.

Slowly, bit by bit, I let go. I handed control over to the beast I barely knew, yet had always been a part of me. It wasn’t until I was falling forward, my limbs elongating, that I realized I’d be alone without any supervision. If she wanted to, my wolf could take off towards the city, and none would be the wiser for hours.

Fuck.

But it was too late to stop. An experienced shifter knew how to cease the change, but I couldn’t do it yet. I was locked into my transformation, the humanity slipping away as I let this bestial side overpower me.

When it was done, I stood up and was flooded with the familiar rush of instincts. Run! Hunt! Mate???

I hesitated, wondering if she’d do what I was so afraid of, but then the keening got even louder, and my wolf’s head snapped in that direction.

Danger?

Was… was she talking to me? It was impossible, but I felt she was asking me a question about something she couldn’t understand. I answered, or at least I tried.

Yes. Pack in danger.

Pack? Help!

With that, we were off, my sheer relief only amplified by my wolf’s adrenaline. So much for being a mindless, bloodthirsty creature. My wolf was reckless and hadn’t moved beyond basic impulses, but she knew what pack was, and she cared about them. She knew Caleb was her guardian, and she listened to him. I was actually lucky to have an animal like this.

I managed to catch up with Daphne quickly, though my wolf didn’t appreciate her ATV’s engine roar. I lost the urgent sound of the keening over the noise, and my stomach flipped a little from discomfort, yet I pushed it out of my mind and followed along beside her vehicle.

That wasn’t the only one, either—all around us, people were racing towards the cries for help. I saw men, women, elders, and a whole lot of wolves. Some people shifted as they sprinted, and some raced in different vehicles much like Daphne’s ATV.

Together, we passed the edge of the common campground and converged onto a wide path leading into thick trees. Up ahead, I heard rushing liquid far better than when I’d walked with Caleb near the creek. Either my hearing had improved, or we were racing towards a much larger, faster-flowing body of water.

Dread built inside me as my four paws flew across the earth, and that feeling only increased when a gray wolf bounded down the path to meet us. She was a tiny thing, and the air around her stank of burnt ozone and despair.

Simon! she practically screamed in that same strange, silent way Caleb did. Simon and Keanu!

My wolf and I recognized that Simon was in danger, and that wasn’t allowed. Hormones bursting, we pulled ahead of the ATV and raced forward.

It felt like a lifetime, but half a minute later, the trees tapered off. I saw a clear path to a bridge up ahead, one that happened to sit on top of a rushing river, the sharp black rocks occasionally sticking up with little platforms of ice around them.

Oh no…

Pack?! my inner wolf screeched within my head. Danger? Help! Help Simon! Help pack!

At least we were on the same page. I wasn’t alone as I thundered towards the bridge, looking desperately for the two children in trouble.

That was when I saw them. One was hanging from the bridge, a broken railing stretched above his head. I didn’t recognize his jet-black hair and umber skin, so I assumed that was Keanu. Already, wolves faster than me had reached him.

Where’s Simon?

He fell! the other wolf cried as if she could read my mind, or I’d asked that question aloud somehow without even knowing. He fell! I can’t find him! I can’t swim! I was fishing down the way, and I saw them on the bridge when the railing broke! Oh my God! I don’t ? —

I tuned her out. I understood that she was just as terrified as the rest of us, but she was a distraction. I scanned everywhere while looking for a sign of Simon’s slight frame. I bounded onto the bridge, ignoring the other group pulling Keanu to safety, and hopped onto the railing on the opposite side, which appeared sturdier.

Help. My wolf repeated it like a mantra. We help. We help. We save pack. We… THERE!

My head jerked of its own accord, ears flopping, and sure enough, I saw a small, nearly blue face just above the water, one arm furtively wrapped around a branch lodged between two rocks in the vicious current.

But this time, no one heard me, and I needed to tell them. How could they understand if I couldn’t do the same telepathy everyone else exchanged so naturally? What do I do?! What do I do?

Strangely, it was my wolf’s inner voice that spoke with a calm she’d never possessed before. Your turn. You save.

Wait, what?

Without so much as a hiccup, I was falling out of my wolf body and into my humanity. It hurt —oh, did it hurt. It was by far more excruciating than any other shift I’d had, but as soon as my mouth and vocal cords were human enough to make sounds, I lifted my hand and pointed a furry, claw-tipped finger in the right direction.

“He’s there!” I screamed as loud as I could. “Downstream, between the rocks!”

It was like the entire pack acted as one. Heads jerked in that direction, and wolves erupted out of clouds of steam as people bolted towards Simon. But each second was its own century, and there was no way that little boy could keep holding on. The water was so cold, and he was so young. He didn’t have any of the extra heat, enhanced healing, or strength a full shifter possessed.

None of the pack would reach him in time.

Then there was a roar from the opposite bank, and two massive wolves erupted out of the tree line. One immediately burst into steam while the other leapt straight into the water.

I recognized his coat instantly, and his name tore its way out of my throat. “Caleb!”

But nothing could distract him. He landed in the water with a splash, getting his body under the boy before pushing him upwards. For the moment, Simon was safe, but he wasn’t out of danger. I hadn’t been a wolf for long, yet I knew we weren’t the strongest swimmers, especially not sideways against the current, carrying a child’s dead weight. Caleb couldn’t get traction and land on something solid. It was taking all his effort to keep Simon from being swept off his back.

“I’m coming!”

I looked back to the shore to see Zach, the other wolf, also diving into the water. Others were joining, but they were farther upstream.

Simon’s father reached him first and, with Caleb’s help, managed to pull him up onto the rocks and out of danger. In those moments, no one dared breathe a sound, all of us fearing the worst. I smelled Zach’s horror and adrenaline all the way from where I stood, his cries the only audible words along the river.

“Come on, son. No, no, no, you’re alright. You’re okay. Simon? Simon! Come on, boy, you got this, you got this.”

It broke my heart to hear his rising desperation, and for a moment, I thought I was watching a father retrieve his dead child. But after one mighty slap to the young boy’s back, Simon coughed up a mouthful of water and let out a resounding wail.

He’s alive!

The relief that flooded the entire pack nearly burned my nose, yet I was happy about this sensation. Simon was safe. A little rattled, and sick, but safe.

Inside, I felt my inner wolf’s pride.

Pack safe?

I smiled, giddy, even nauseous from the emotional whiplash of the day. Pack safe.

With that, she slipped into slumber, and I straightened up, now completely human. The two of us had passed an important milestone in our relationship.

Hopefully, the rest of it wouldn’t be quite so dramatic.