Chapter 28
Rilla
“Mr. Thompson has already arrived and is expecting you.”
The elegant hostess takes my coat and leads me through the upscale sushi restaurant. I thought I looked okay in my tights and tunic when I left the apartment but now I’m feeling underdressed on top of wondering why I’m here.
Why am I here?
Bryce’s assistant called me this morning saying that he wanted to meet with me as soon as possible. Naturally, I freaked the fuck out. Why did he want to meet with me now? Has something changed? Have they changed their mind? Did they decide I’m more hassle than I’m worth, so they’ve decided to cut me and the book loose?
I’d called Logan in a total panic to see if he had heard anything. He assured me he hadn’t and that Bryce probably just wanted to discuss the details of the promotional campaign. He’d offered to come with me, but I told him I’d be fine and that I’d update him as soon as the meeting was over.
“There’s my favorite author,” Bryce calls as I approach the table. His eyes scan me head to toe, lingering on some parts more than others. On a scale of one to ten with one being harmless and ten being creepy, it’s a solid seven and a half, rapidly approaching an eight.
Bryce is not bad looking, but there is a prominent air of entitled asshole about him that makes him almost unbearable.
“You look great,” he says appreciatively, as though I was dressing for him and not just to be professional.
“Thank you.”
“Tell me about book two. Are you managing to stay on target for me?”
I’d like to put a target on your forehead and practice my aim.
“It’s been going really well. I don’t think I’ll have any issues meeting my deadlines.”
“Amazing.” His sleazy grin almost makes me nauseated. “I just knew you’d live up to my expectations”.
Gross.
As we wait for our food, Bryce fills the air with anecdotes that I presume are supposed to amuse and impress me. I force myself to smile and nod, waiting for him to get around to why we’re actually here.
When the food arrives, I eat while he continues to talk incessantly.
“How is the sushi?”
“It’s excellent,” I reply. It’s the first time I’ve spoken in more than ten minutes as Bryce is perfectly comfortable carrying the conversation all on his own. To keep myself sane, I play Bryce Bingo in my head. So far we’re at 3 grandfather comments and 2 third-person references.
He finally stops talking long enough to try an avocado roll, but the moment the food is in his mouth, he immediately makes a face. “I can tell that you’ve never eaten it in Japan.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“The last time I traveled to Osaka, I ate at a place that was more than two thousand dollars a plate. Worth every yen. I’ll take you sometime.”
I can’t imagine any possible scenario that would involve me traveling to Japan with Bryce.
“Are you getting excited for the release?”
I swallow the salmon roll I’d been chewing and answer, “Yes?”
He laughs, shaking his head. “Come on, you can do better than that.”
“I am excited. I’m also a tiny bit anxious. I feel like I still have a lot to learn.”
“That’s completely understandable.” He leans forward, placing his hand on my arm. “This is all new to you, but just remember that you’re not doing it alone. Everyone at Thompson And Daye is behind you, one hundred percent. We’re expecting great things from you, and this series.”
I needed to hear that. I needed to know that they still really believe in the book. Maybe Bryce isn’t the worst after all.
“Don’t you worry,” he says with a wink. “I promise I’ll make your first time special.”
Nope. I hate him.
“First things first, we’re going to schedule you for headshots.”
“Oh, I already have headshots.” I got them done two years ago at my agent’s insistence. I was hesitant, at first. Thanks to the fact that I’ve had the same haircut since the seventh grade, they look up to date. I always look like I don’t want to have my picture taken, probably because I don’t. But the photographer my agent, Angie, found was amazing. She made me laugh through the entire process and as a result, the pictures turned out really natural looking.
“Ah, yes. I’ve seen those and they’re not what we’re looking for. A black turtleneck? We’re not going for an arthouse vibe.” He looks me over again, thoroughly. “I’m picturing you in a long dress that shows off all your assets. Maybe some braids in your hair. Like you’re a sorceress, bewitching your readers. We expect your book to do well with our New Adult demographic, including males eighteen to twenty-five. So, let’s give the nerds the total fantasy, right?”
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
“I don’t think I’m comfortable with that, Bryce. I’ll take new headshots, but I don’t think I should have to sexualize myself to sell my book. The work should stand on its own.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” He holds up his hands like I’m holding him at gunpoint. “Who said anything about sexualizing you? That’s not what I meant at all. I’m sorry if it came out that way. It’s just that image is a major part of the publishing business. Do I think people are going to love your book? Absolutely. Do I think it would sell as well as it’s going to if you were a sixty-year-old man? No, I don’t.”
I hate that he might be right. Bryce is a douchebag, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know this business far better than I do.
“Look. This isn’t my first rodeo, Rilla. It’s a cutthroat industry with a lot of competition. The company believes in your book. I believe in it. And because I believe in it so much, I want to use every tool available to us to launch it out of the stratosphere. You’re young and beautiful. These are facts. And I think we’d be stupid not to use that to our advantage. I’ll leave the choice entirely up to you, but do me a favor and think it over.”
I was raised in a very body positive home and I’m comfortable with the way I look. If I feel like wearing something revealing, I do it. No question. No shame. This isn’t even the first time I’ve been asked to use my body to sell something. I’ve quit jobs at bars that wanted me to wear skimpy outfits and be extra “friendly” to the customers. My answer to that was the same as now.
Fuck no.
But I’m not about to tell the man responsible for my book launch to go fuck himself, as much as I would love to.
“I’ll think about it.”
There’s a bad taste in my mouth the entire walk home and it’s not because of the perfectly good sushi. I replay the meeting in my mind like a broken record of a terrible song. I don’t want to be alone with these thoughts. My first instinct is to text Logan, but he’s playing basketball with Josh and Callum.
The next thought I have is to just keep walking. There’s still a chill in the breeze, but there’s no bite to it anymore. The melting snow glistens as the sun’s rays work diligently to make it disappear. Not a bad day to just keep walking and see where my legs take me. But deep down I know no matter how far I go, I can’t outrun this.
So I find myself knocking on the door of the person who can’t fix my problems, but will always make me feel better.
Betty’s look of surprise quickly turns to one of joy. She throws her arms around me for one of her hugs, and today, I find myself returning the embrace and hugging her back.
My friend, knowing me as well as she does, definitely notices. Untangling herself from my arms she asks, “Is everything okay?”
We sit on her couch and I recap everything that happened at lunch, finding it more difficult to speak the words than merely think them. I can’t help but question my own memories. Did I imagine the way he looked at me? Am I making this more than it really is?
“I hate him. The next time you talk to that asshole, I want you to tell him that I hate him.” She is practically foaming at the mouth and her response validates my own.
“You’re supposed to keep me out of trouble, Betts, not get me into it.”
“You’re right.” She plays with the end of her braid. “But we could key his car. I just want you to know it’s an option.”
“As much as he deserves it, I’m going to play it calm and cool, for once in my life. At least until I hear Logan’s take.” He’s known him for years and I trust him to give me his honest take of what happened.
“I really like him, by the way, Rill. I’ve been trying to see you to tell you that, but you haven’t been responding to my texts.”
“I’m sorry.” I have been dodging her since that night at Maggie and Callum’s. “I just figured that I’d save you the pain of having to choose sides, and me the resentment of having you pick Josh if it came to that.”
Her face falls and her shoulders sag as she lets out a deep sigh.
“There are no sides, Rilla. We’re all on the same team and if you and Josh don’t grow up and work your shit out, we all lose. And for your information, I have told him he was in the wrong at Maggie’s. He knows he fucked up. But he’s been trying to apologize for weeks, and by avoiding him, you’re just proving him right. You won’t talk to either of us–”
“Because I miss when I used to be able to talk to either of you without talking to both of you. You two are a unit now. You’re this matching set that can’t be separated. And I don’t want to separate you. I love that you two found each other, I really do. But I used to feel like I could tell you anything, Betty. Now, the rare time I see you without Josh, I worry that whatever I tell you will get back to him. Do I have to preface what I say with ‘don’t tell my brother’? And if I do that, I feel like I’m asking you to violate his trust.”
I can’t even look at her. I know I’m being selfish, but being with Logan has seemed to unlock some sort of honesty floodgate, and now that it’s open, I can’t force it closed.
“Look, I know that things have changed and I’m the one who needs to adjust. I’m just struggling, I guess. I thought moving here would make us all closer, but I feel like we’re further apart.”
She wiggles her way into my viewpoint, making me look at her. “If I showed up at your door and told you that Josh and I had a fight, would you throw up your hands and call yourself Switzerland? No. You would pull me inside, pour me a drink, and let me vent my frustrations. The same rule applies for you and Josh. If he’s pissing you off, you can talk to me about it.”
“But he’s your boyfriend.”
“And you’re my best friend. You can always use me as your sounding board for all things, even Josh. And I won’t go running to tell him what you say. I still haven’t told him you made out with Drew Connolly in junior year.”
I shudder, making a face, “Thanks for that reminder. My brain had blocked that particular traumatic memory and you’ve set it free.”
“I’m just trying to say that I’ll always be here for you, regardless. And maybe we could hang out on our own more?”
“I would love that, really. Thanks. For being here.”
Her clear green eyes shine as she beams at me. “Always.”