Theirs to Love (The Last First Kiss Menage #2)

Travis

Two Months Later

T ravis stooped over the engine of Jamison’s pickup and growled in frustration. His boss had taken fucking up the truck’s engine to new extremes. “I’ll have to take it down to the shop and throw it up on the blocks to take a look at it.”

Jamison’s smirk told him that he was enjoying the little game that they were playing. He thought his bosses would be pissed when he announced that he was buying a garage in town and starting his own business. It was Em’s idea. But, he had to admit that he didn’t hate being his own boss. He worked for Jamison and Ash in the early mornings, helping out around the ranch and keeping up with their equipment maintenance. But the afternoons, evenings, and weekends were spent building his little shop. At first, business was pretty damn slow. The locals seemed hesitant to trust that he was capable of the work based purely on the fact that he was bi. He tried not to let it bother him, but it did. Cash and some of the guys over at manholes had pitched in and sent him their vehicles to work on and he was grateful for the business. After about a month, he could finally say that he was in the black, which was an amazing feeling. He had his friends to thank for helping him to get there and Emily for her brilliant idea that launched the whole project.

“I’ll get you an answer by the afternoon on repairs. What the fuck did you do this time?” Jamison laughed, “I ran over a curb in town taking a little shortcut.”

“Fuck, Jamison. You can’t just go and make your own roads. You have to follow the rules, like everyone else.” Jamison laughed and slapped on the back.

“We don’t follow the rules man, we march to our own drum. You know that better than anyone.” nodded, not quite able to talk around the lump in his throat. Jamison was right he didn’t put much stock into what everyone else told him he should be doing. Since disappeared two months ago, he felt like he and Em were living a complete lie.

After Emily had woken him to tell him about Jack’s letter, saying that he was leaving them, they packed their shit and headed down to the station. Jackson’s partner told them that he had been in before dawn, to hand in his resignation and pack up his desk. Jack left town, not telling anyone where he was going, and it nearly destroyed Emily. Hell, it almost destroyed him.

Emily asked him to move into her townhome and he did. gave up his apartment lease and moved in with her trying to find a new normal, but it felt like a piece of his fucking heart was missing. He and Em hired a private investigator to try to find Jack but that was like trying to track down a ghost. It was as if he had completely disappeared off the face of the earth. decided to give up looking, and although it took some time to convince Emily that they were fighting a losing battle, they eventually called off the PI and tried to settle into a relationship with just the two of them.

“So, I take it you’ve heard nothing from Jackson?” fumbled with the wrench that he was holding not wanting to discuss Jack.

“No,” he barked. He cleaned up his tools and lowered the hood back down on Jamison’s truck. “We called off the PI last week. If Jack doesn’t want to be found then we won’t look for him.” He felt a fresh wave of anger about the whole situation. Having to hold Emily while she sobbed every night was becoming unbearable. Hell, he wanted to do the same, but he needed to be strong for them both.

“I’m sorry man. Maybe he’ll figure his shit out and just come back.” knew that Jamison meant well but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. Wanting Jackson was ripping Emily and him apart. The thought of losing her plagued him daily. At first, he wasn’t sure if she would even want him without Jack. That’s why when she asked him to move into her place, he jumped at the chance. didn’t waste any time moving his stuff over and cementing their relationship. But as time went on, he realized that without Jackson they were just going through the motions, and he was afraid that Emily would decide that he wasn’t enough to make her happy.

jumped into his truck, “I’ll swing by the house and pick up Em, she’s checking on Regan right now. The tow truck will be by soon to pick up your truck. You want a ride back to the main house?” Jamison nodded and got into the passenger side of ’s truck.

Watching Jamison and Ash getting ready to have another baby with the woman that they loved made him long for something that would never happen now for him. Two months ago, he let himself dream that Jack, Em, and he would have what his bosses had—a family with lots of kids. He still wanted that, but the dream felt empty without Jack. Hell, he didn’t even know how Emily felt about the whole subject of marriage or kids. They hadn’t talked about their future since Jack left them. He was afraid to bring it up for fear that Emily would tell him that she didn’t see one with him.

They pulled up to the main house and went in through the back door where he found Regan and Emily playing with little Star. Regan’s belly was growing so fast, reminding him that time marches on despite the pain of each passing day.

“Hey ladies,” Jamison turned on the charm making Em’s cheeks turn pink. Emily had become part of their little group, and he was so thankful for the friendship that had developed between her and Regan. Emily needed friends even more now and he loved the way that Regan had given her so much support these past two months. Mercy tried to join in as much as she could, but she had to pick up extra shifts at the hospital lately, trying to make ends meet. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on with Em’s friend, but he knew that Emily was worried about Mercy.

“You about ready to head out, baby?” wrapped his arms around Emily pulling her into his body. He wanted to touch her, hold her every chance he got.

“Yes.” She nodded and grabbed her bags, handing them to him. They said their goodbyes and both kissed Star’s little head making her giggle and clap.

“You two are so good with her. When are you going to have a little one of your own, Em?” Regan’s question seemed to knock Emily a little off kilter. She smiled at her friend, but could tell that it was forced.

“Maybe someday, who knows?” Emily shrugged, waved over her shoulder to everyone, and headed out of the back door.

shot Regan a “What the hell” look and followed Em out to find her sitting in the passenger seat of his truck. He opened her door when he realized she was crying and pulled her into his arms. “Oh Em, don’t cry baby,” he soothed, rubbing his big hands up and down her back. “It kills me when you cry.” Emily sobbed onto his T-shirt and the sound just about gutted him.

“I’m sorry ,” she said. “I just miss him so terribly. I feel like I’m cheating you out of your happiness by holding onto you. It’s like I’m stuck and can’t find my way forward. No matter how badly I want a future with you it will always feel like a piece of us is missing.” nodded and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

“I know baby, I feel the same way. I’ve been so afraid that you will want more than I can give you and leave me, just the way Jack did,” he whispered. Saying those words out loud to Emily scared the shit out of him. It was almost as if giving a voice to his worries would make them come true.

“Oh , no!” Emily wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. “I would never do that to you. I couldn’t—you’re my whole world now. I don’t know what I would do without you; it would kill me to lose you too. In the beginning, I wasn’t sure if I would want to have a relationship with just one of you. That choice was taken away from us when Jack decided to walk away. I’m so in love with you, , but I still love Jack. I don’t know how to separate my feelings for the two of you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m mad as hell at him but I still want him.”

He sat Emily back into her seat and buckled her in, “I know baby, me too. I love you both and not having Jack here is tearing me apart. We just have to find a way to be happy and hope that someday, he finds his way back to us.” wasn’t sure if he believed his own words. The chances of Jack just strolling back into their lives seemed like a long shot, but he wasn’t ready to give up on that dream yet. And from the tears that were still streaming down Em’s face, neither was she.