& Then They Loved (Ampersand Love #3)

19. Stupid Broken Pussy

19

Stupid Broken Pussy

Vera

V era was of the opinion that she’d experienced enough of life to know herself well.

She was stubborn, hated eating gourd, despised the scent of tobacco and could be abrasive when she was angry. She knew these things were entrenched so deeply in her that it’d become part of her DNA. This also meant that she was fairly confident that nothing could surprise her.

Wrong.

She did not expect that at thirty-one, her body would start breaking, pussy first.

She tried to balance the weight of her luggage, wincing at the ache between her thighs, her still-sensitive nipples protesting being bound within their cotton confines. With an audible heave of breath, she climbed yet another set of stairs, getting closer to her new apartment. Every stretch of her muscle was a reminder of the night of complete and utter debauchery.

Losing her virginity with Vihaan had been an exciting, if slightly daunting step in her youth. The times after that had been a learning curve for a bungling teenager filled with hormones and a need to explore her sexuality. He’d been tender and careful, sweetly waiting till she’d taken their relationship further. Their unexpected encounter in the archives room had been completely different. No gentleness, no thought or finesse. Still, she’d orgasmed fast and hard.

Last night though? It would go down in her sexual history as a night of revelation.

In a bid for control, she’d tried to leave once she thought he was finished. Her legs had still been shaking when she’d needled him about wanting to cuddle. If Vihaan had let her go, she’d have had to re-learn how to walk again in those ten seconds. Flailing like Bambi on his luxurious Berber rug wasn’t quite the exit statement she’d have wanted to make.

Except, he’d enticed her to stay. And she’d all but forgotten the world after that.

She’d had moments where she was certain she was going to die, because there was no way anyone could experience that level of sensory overload and still survive. She’d sleepily drifted off at one point and had awoken to find Vihaan cleaning her with a warm towel, forcing a painkiller and water down her throat. She’d been boneless with exhaustion, too tired to protest when he’d pulled the covers over them and settled his firm body against her back.

It had surprised her that he’d thought to offer aftercare. Must’ve been all the practice he’s had, she hmphed, unable to suppress the spike of jealousy at that reminder. It was the recognition of this fact and sheer stubbornness that had allowed her to resist the lure of sleep, especially when he’d held her cocooned against his warm chest. She’d waited until his breathing had evened out, slipping out before she’d succumbed to temptation and did something stupid. Like fall asleep in his bed and wake up together, as if they were real lovers.

Her stupid, broken pussy quivered again .

“I can’t believe you fucked our boss.”

She spun around mid-step, glaring at the unrepentant man behind her who held yet another one of her boxes. Jay had been a big help through this move but a decided nag.

“Shh,” she scolded him, throwing around panicked glance. “Could you be a little quiet? I don’t want all the neighbours to think that a hussy is moving in next door.”

“Didn’t seem to care about that when you went home with the boss !” he shot back, tilting his chin upwards to tell her to continue climbing.

“We have history, him & I,” she sighed, moving ahead.

“I know. You told me last night and I’m still digesting it. Talk about childhood rivals to lovers. Art certainly does imitate life.”

“Not lovers,” she corrected him, stepping into the hallway of her new apartment. “It was a one-time thing.”

She took her shoes off and headed toward the moderately furnished living room, dropping her box next to a small pile. When she straightened, Jay was looking at her like he didn’t believe a word of what she’d said.

“Seriously,” she insisted. “All that stuff that happened when we were teenagers—we found a resolution for it. Got closure. Like adults.”

Jay snorted. “Like horny adults.”

“Why am I friends with you?”

“Because without my glorious presence, you’d be a dark hole of misery?”

Despite herself, Vera felt her lips tickle at his ready answer. “Smartass.”

“I know I am,” he agreed, dropping heavily onto the couch nearby. “Also, you’ve given me another reason to avoid marriage.”

“I have? ”

A world-weary sigh escaped him. “On the off chance I marry and procreate, I don’t think I’ll survive having a daughter. I already know what it feels like.”

“You do?” she asked, her brows shooting up in incredulity. Vera watched as Jay nodded solemnly.

“Having a female best friend is like having a daughter who doesn’t listen to her father, goes out with inappropriate men, and then calls for a mid-night pick up after a bad decision so that she doesn’t have to perform the walk-of-shame.”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t have called you?”

“Of course you should have! I’d have been livid if you’d been unsafe and used transit to get home. It’s just. . . you slept with the boss.” He scrunched his nose, shuddering like she’d made love to an alien with horns and a spiky tail, though that would have been an interesting experience in itself.

“Sorry, Father,” she said in a sickly-sweet tone, causing him to turn green.

“I wanted to be called ‘Daddy’ and instead, I’m ‘Father’? This friendship is costing me in ways I had not been prepared for,” he whined, his face a picture of misery.

“Shut up,” Vera laughed, shaking her head at her dramatic friend. He was suited to be an actor, it was clear. She took stock of everything around her. Apart from the few boxes they’d left in the living room, the rest of her meagre possessions had been placed in her bedroom already.

“I think that’s all of it,” she breathed out, hands on her hips. “Thanks for your help, JJ.”

“No problem, Veeray,” he winked, ruffling her hair on purpose to annoy her, much like a brother.

“Hey, Vera!”

Both of them turned to see Jay’s cousin, Nina, amble into the living room, followed by another young woman.

Nina waved at her, but it was the friend who had Vera doing a double-take. Brown eyes on a heart-shaped face stared back at her, no longer red and watery. It was her, the girl she’d met at the club—Vihaan’s friend.

“You?” She tilted her head, blinking multiple times to make sure she was seeing right.

“Aditi.” The young woman smiled, coming forward to shake hands with Jay and Vera. “You can call me Adi. What a coincidence!”

“Yeah,” Vera nodded, explaining to the other two how they’d met at Velocity the previous evening.

“Wow, small world,” Jay commented.

“Very,” Aditi agreed. “How do you all know each other?”

“JJ introduced Vera to me when he found out I was going to put out an ad for a roommate,” Nina answered. “Adi, meet my cousin who thinks he has to solve all my problems. Adi works with me at Sanjog General. We’re in the same OB/GYN program.”

“I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere,” Aditi muttered, peering so hard at Jay that he began to pinken. He ran an embarrassed hand through his thick, black mane, shrugging as he admitted, “I’m on TV a lot.”

“Oh, that’s right! You hosted that travel show on Ethos! I loved the episode you did on Sri Lanka. My family booked a holiday there right after.”

The realisation that Aditi had been admiring his work rather than just his looks brought a massive smile to his face. He threw an arm around Vera’s shoulders, nodding towards her with pride. “Thanks. Worked on that with Veeray here behind the scenes.”

“Impressive,” Aditi complimented them both, her genuine sweetness winning them over immediately.

“Alright, I’ll leave you ladies alone. I’ll see you at work,” Jay added, smacking Vera on her head just to be a brat. He strolled backwards with a grin, knowing she wouldn’t dare hit him back with his cousin watching them. Vera’s eyes narrowed, promising retribution at the soonest possible opportunity. “Stay out of trouble! Especially the brooding employer kind,” he teased, heading out the door before her patience broke.

With a fond smile at the one friend she believed she would one day punch in the face, she turned to the two ladies. Both hands shoved in the pocket of her worn shorts, she rocked on the balls of her feet as the silence stretched. She’d never been good with small talk, and it had been a hell of a long time since she’d tried to make friends with anyone.

“Are you ok?” she blurted out, cringing inwardly when she realised it wasn’t the most polite way to start a conversation. “Sorry, I didn’t. . .”

“It’s alright,” Aditi waved off her apology, her smile bright. “Yes, I’m okay. Thank you for being so kind to me at the club.”

A wry sort of laugh escaped Vera.

“What?” Aditi asked immediately.

Vera shrugged. “I’m not usually a kind person, some would say.”

“Sounds like you’d prefer it if people thought you weren’t nice,” Aditi guessed. “How do you know Vihaan?”

“I work in his company. I’m a TV producer at Ethos.”

Aditi’s eyes narrowed, making Vera feel very much like this woman could see into her soul if she wished. “Ok. I get it,” Aditi announced. “You don’t know me well enough yet to trust me with the truth.”

“I’m not lying. I really am a producer.”

“Not that. There’s something more with you and him, but it’s too soon to tell me. You’ve just met me, I understand. But let’s give this a few weeks and we can circle back to it.”

The laugh that sputtered out of Vera was as much a surprise to her as her amusement. “A few weeks?”

“You didn’t think this is the last time we’ll be meeting each other, did you? We’re friends now.”

“Already?” Vera asked, surprised when Aditi groaned .

“There has to be something in Mumbai’s air. Whoever I meet lately is both gorgeous and allergic to friendship.”

“Who?” Nina questioned, confused. “Ooh, Rian! Did you move the situationship train at all?”

Aditi pursed her lips.

“We slept together last night.”

“What?!” Nina jumped in place, her jaw dropping open.

“No, I mean sleep sleep! Like, actually, just sleeping. With our eyes closed. And clothes on. We were watching a movie and fell asleep on the couch. That’s it.”

From the red kissing the tips of Aditi’s ears and the over-explaining babble, Vera was inclined to believe that there was more to it than Aditi was saying.

“And I’m going on a date with someone else tonight,” Aditi triumphantly announced, as if that put an end to any doubts. Vera watched as Nina reacted negatively to this news, making it clear that she was rooting for this Rian, whoever he was.

“Is that the guy who made you cry?” Vera asked, her curiosity piqued at the word ‘situationship’.

The two women turned to look at her like they’d just now remembered that their discussion had an audience as well.

“Yeees,” Aditi drawled. “But he apologised,” she immediately added, defending him in his absence. “And we’re kinda. . . friends again?”

There’s no way Vera would forgive someone as quickly as that if they made her cry, but she bit her tongue, keeping her opinion to herself. Aditi seemed like a nice person. Maybe too nice.

“You’re giving me that same look that Rian gives me,” Aditi complained.

“What look?”

“The one where he’s annoyed by me but likes me too much to scold me. ”

Vera couldn’t help but grin at the resigned manner in which Aditi stated this. Partly because of her own closed personality, and partly luck, she’d never found close female friendships. Nina and Aditi seemed to have no issues with treating her like a long-lost mate. Maybe a friendship with these women wouldn’t be so bad after all.

She spent the next half hour listening to Aditi talk about her dilemma with Rian and why she wanted to continue dating other men, while Nina chimed in with her sometimes silly, sometimes thoughtful comments. When a phone call drew Nina away from their conversation, Aditi turned to Vera.

“So, how long have you known Vihaan?”

Vera’s brows shot up. Apparently, a cat had more patience than Aditi Krishnan did, though they both could still compete for cuteness. With her big brown eyes, radiant smile, and guileless personality, Aditi felt a lot like someone Vera could get used to confiding in.

“I thought you were going to give me a few weeks?” Vera laughed.

“You can’t expect me not to be curious after the way I caught him staring at you.”

Vera’s heart skipped a beat. He’d been staring at her? Made sense, considering he found her easily, even in a crowd. Still, she tried to deflect. “You’re asking me about my boss.”

“I’m asking you about my friend,” came the pert reply.

“Exactly. He’s my boss and your friend. If I say anything, there’s a conflict of interest,” Vera said, pulling herself up to head towards the pile of storage boxes she still needed to sort through.

“There isn’t!” Aditi insisted, following her, one hand up in the air and the other over her heart, as if she was being sworn into candidacy. “I would never tell him what you tell me or vice versa. I’m Switzerland.”

“Sure. ”

“Oh, maybe that’s where you met,” Aditi guessed, a dreamy look in her eyes. “Was he the Raj to your Simran? Did he call you ‘Senorita’? Vihaan does have a charm, just like Shahrukh.”

Princess, his voice rumbled in the recesses of her mind, making her shiver. He’d called her that over and over again last night, in every tone possible. She’d never thought to tell him to stop, wild for him and the pleasure he’d been doling out.

“It was nothing,” she said out loud, needing to convince herself. When she turned, Vera found Aditi watching her with a small smile.

“Ok,” Aditi nodded, surprising Vera at how easily she’d given in. “Should I help you unpack? It’s what friends do for each other.”

Before Vera could blink, Aditi picked up a box and made a beeline for Vera’s new bedroom, rapidly asking questions about her life and childhood, all the while providing information about herself in return.

And as Vera watched this sweetly chaotic woman chatter up a storm, she reminded herself once more that having a broken pussy was one thing, but having a broken heart? She could never do that herself again.

Not for Vihaan. Not for anyone.