Chapter Seven
Allegra
I had to pee.
Why in the world did the doctor advise you to arrive at the appointment with a full bladder if no one was ever going to take you back? I mean, how hard was it to call my name, to put me out of my misery? Allegra Morelli—one name, two words. That was all it would take for me to be able to release the floodgates currently threatening to break right here in the waiting room.
Sorry, Doc, but my bladder did not know the word wait . It was a four-letter word, but it might as well have been that never-ending supercali word because it meant nothing to my bladder, which was officially ready to burst.
Brady was sitting next to me, his legs manspread. It was an important appointment, and he’d said he wanted to be part of it all, so here we were—not a couple, yet showing up to my first prenatal appointment together. I could see why he wanted to come, though, don’t get me wrong. We were going to get confirmation that I was pregnant, have an ultrasound, and we’d get to leave with our first sonogram of the baby. Hence the necessity of urine.
It was a big day for us. Probably not as big as my blown-up bladder right now, but you got the idea.
“I told you not to bring a bottle of water in the car. You’d already drank one before you left the apartment,” Brady commented.
I whipped my head so fast I thought I might get whiplash. On the bright side, that would have diverted my attention from my desire to do the pee-pee dance right here in the ob-gyn’s office. Did that dance really work, by the way? Any time I’d ever tried it, I only had a stronger urge to go when I quit shaking like I was my very own carnival ride.
Meanwhile, I gave Brady the death stare, and he backed his head up, his eyes still on me. “Do you know how difficult it is to pee on command?” I didn’t give him enough time to answer, merely continued—“Very. I don’t want to be here any longer than I need to be, okay?”
I could tell he was sticking his tongue in his cheek. “I can’t say I blame you. This place is jam-packed. Maybe if they didn’t take so long to call people back, the waiting room wouldn’t be like this.”
Before I could answer, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I leaned toward Brady so that I could have better access to retrieve it.
Maria: Did you jot down all the prenatal classes we found online to ask the doctor about?
Allegra: Yes, Mom.
Maria: Okay, that was wicked.
Allegra: *angel emoji*
Maria: Check your email. I sent you a list of other questions to ask the doctor. Don’t leave until you get the answers to those. They may not seem important now, but they will be.
Allegra: You didn’t have to do that.
Maria: Of course I did. You’re my sister, and you’re having a baby!
Allegra: Aren’t I too old for you to be making me lists like this? I can take care of myself.
Maria: Sure, but if Mom were here, she’d make sure you didn’t go there without a list, and since she’s not here, I’m doing it. Check your email!
“Maria can be so bossy,” I said aloud, scrolling to my email app and opening it.
Brady nudged my arm. “What’s the matter?”
I clicked into her email and immediately regretted it. There was a laundry list of questions. She couldn’t possibly think I was going to ask all of these, could she? If I did, the doctor wouldn’t have time for any other patient today, and I’d probably drive him to drink at the end of the day. No way. “This,” I replied, rolling my eyes as I handed Brady my phone so he could see for himself how intense Maria was with her list.
I watched as his eyes scanned the forever-long email.
He let out a low whistle.
Yeah, my sentiments exactly.
To give you an idea, there were thirty questions, and some of them had sub-questions.
“We’ll be here all day,” he said what I had been thinking.
“Exactly!” I exclaimed. “Let’s pick the most important ones and just ask those.”
“Sounds fair to me. Do you want to do the honors?” he asked, passing the phone back to me.
I shrugged. “I guess.” I looked at the screen and brought my hand to the bottom of my chin, suddenly feeling too lazy to hold up my own head. Seriously, when would we be called into a room? “Never mind,” I was quick to say. “How about we do this? I’ll read them aloud and bold the ones we think are good.”
“Well, they’re all good. I just don’t know if you want to look for a new doctor after this,” Brady said, bringing up a valid point. Wouldn’t want to piss off the man who’d control the drugs during my delivery.
If I asked all these questions, there was no doubt the doctor would probably ban me from being his patient. What was my sister thinking? In her defense, though, she did have a great pregnancy with Isabella. That had to count for something.
Getting back to the task at hand, I asked the first question—“Are there any dietary restrictions or recommendations you have?”
Brady swayed his head back and forth. “Seems important. You should know what to eat and what not to.”
“I feel like I can just look that up,” I answered earnestly. There were medical articles that cited doctors on this stuff, right? One quick search and I’d be good to go.
“It’s not the same.” Okay, clearly, we didn’t see eye-to-eye on this. “You need a professional to tell you. The Internet is unreliable.”
If it wasn’t already obvious, Brady and I were so incompatible it wasn’t even funny. Just listen to him. I wasn’t going to argue with him, though. It seemed pointless. I’d just ask the question to appease him. “All right. Next one. Is exercise okay?”
“Seems obvious. Walking is always okay. We can even get you a walking pad for your office.”
“Um, no.”
“Um, no?” he returned, looking confused.
“Yeah, no. I don’t want that.”
“And why the hell not?”
“Because—”
“Allegra Morelli.” The nurse’s voice startled me.
Was I hearing things, or did I finally hear my name called? Thank the heavens, it was officially my turn. Technically, it was twenty minutes after my appointment time, but I couldn’t fault her for that. Maybe some other patient came in with an obnoxious list like Maria’s and made the terrible decision to ask them all.
* * *
Brady
This prenatal appointment was as non-invasive as a prostate biopsy, and by that, I meant it couldn’t get any more invasive. Honestly, the myriad of crap Allegra was having done to her during this appointment was surprising.
After she emptied her bladder, she was happy as a pig in shit, but then they drew her blood and we went through each of our family’s medical histories, and examined her. But none of that was a big deal. No, the big deal came when her doctor (a man, might I add) gloved up, grabbed a long swab thing from his station, and wheeled over to Allegra in his stupid chair. “I’m just going to take a quick pap smear and send it off to the lab.”
“Sure,” Allegra said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Although, to her, it probably was.
I couldn’t stop myself, though. “Wait a minute. That’s it?” All she was going to say was “sure”? And the doctor didn’t have anything else to add?
The doctor smirked, his bald head practically shining from the glare in the office. He obviously couldn’t grow hair on his head, but the big, black mountain man beard on his face was no trouble at all. “Well, I was going to ask if you’ve had intercourse in the last two days,” he said, ignoring me and looking at Allegra over the paper draped over her knees.
How the hell was that relevant? See, this was exactly why I didn’t want Allegra to have a male doctor. Ladies, you’d never hear a man say this, so listen carefully because I’d only say it once—men had zero boundaries. There were some good men, of course, who were the exception to this rule. Like me, obviously. But then that was it.
Weaving her fingers together over her stomach, she answered casually, “No intercourse. Not since this one knocked me up.”
I squared my shoulders and puffed my chest. How’d you like that, you sleazy doctor? I was the one who impregnated her. Woah, why was I bragging about that? I’d also made myself a soon-to-be dad. If being a jackass was a sport, I’d take home gold.
“Okay,” Dr. Invasive (that was right, I was referring to him as Dr. Invasive from now on) responded coolly and went under the paper drape.
I didn’t like the way this man just went for it. Did he have no manners? “Care to tell us what you’re doing down there, Doc?”
Allegra shot me a look. “He said he’s taking a pap smear. What’s your problem?”
I swore, if she could’ve hissed at me, she would’ve. I hadn’t seen this side of her before. Couldn’t say I hated it.
Dr. Invasive said nothing, just lifted his head seconds later, dropped the swab in a metal pan, and slipped his gloves off. “It’s all routine to check the cervix,” he finally said. “It causes her nothing more than slight discomfort. And we’re all done now.”
Felt like too little, too late, but what did I know?
“Someone will be in in a few minutes to do your ultrasound. You can get dressed if you want.” He walked out and took his shadow of a nurse with him. It was mildly creepy; she didn’t say anything, just stood behind the doctor and followed him around like a puppy dog.
Allegra took her feet out of the stirrups. “Pass me my underwear, please.”
I turned around to where her purse was sitting on a chair and found the string she called underwear balled up in the side pocket. “Shouldn’t you wear real underwear here? Or anywhere, now that you’re carrying our child?” I held them in my hand, fingering the small piece of satin in the front. There was nothing to finger in the back, it was thinner than the floss I used for my teeth. Shit, I wondered if my hand would smell like her now. Why had I insisted on coming to this appointment?
She yanked them from my hand. “What is with you?” she asked, bewilderment coloring her expression.
“I’m just thinking you might cause our baby to catch a cold with all the air that goes up those skirts of yours and that,” I explained and pointed to her thong as she slipped it up. Don’t get me wrong, I was a warm-blooded man—I was a big fan of skirts and dresses because they allowed easy access for a quickie in an elevator, bathroom stall, or, frankly, anywhere sex wasn’t intended but happened anyway.
“Sure, I’ll wear long johns just for you.” She rolled her eyes dramatically, and I honestly feared they might roll in the back of her head and never reappear. “You know, you’ve lost your mind. Maybe when I’m getting the ultrasound you can let them do their job.”
Let them do their job . . . . As though I hadn’t let Dr. Invasive do his job earlier. I hadn’t been a fan of what he’d been doing, but that was neither here nor there. It wasn’t like I had sucker punched him and demanded he get out of there.
I passed her the skirt that was folded on the chair beside her purse next. Usually, I helped women take off their clothes, and look at me, I’d found out I was going to be a father and I was helping Allegra—the girl of my goddamn dreams—put her clothes back on . Yeah, there was definitely something wrong with this picture. Beginning and ending with the fact that I had been in this office for way too long.
“Will the technician be a man?” I asked pointedly.
She rolled her eyes and slipped up her skirt. “I don’t know. This is my first ultrasound.”
“Will they be going to the promised land?”
Exhaling deeply, she looked away from me, diverting her attention to a wall of pamphlets. So I supposed I was going to be ignored. Great.
“Don’t you think it’s a bit strange to have a male doctor?” I asked, unable to resist and just keep my mouth shut. Which I should’ve done, but I just couldn’t.
She turned to eye me again and parted her perfectly shaped, plump, red-painted lips. Before we’d kissed, I’d always wondered what those lips tasted like, jealous of every man who’d had the pleasure of knowing. Now I knew what they tasted like, and it was arguably worse. Finally, she smacked her lips and shook her head. “Because he’s looking at my vagina?”
“No.” I rolled on my heels and shrugged. She made it sound so blasé. “I don’t know. I mean, what’s with that? Don’t you find that weird? Plus, I don’t like the way he was looking at you when he held your knee. He just kept staring at you.”
“He was waiting for me to be ready for him.”
“Shit, Allegra. Don’t say that.”
“Come on, Brady. It wasn’t like he was saying now on your back and spread your legs for me like a good girl . You’re reading way too much into this. He’s married, you’re ridiculous, and this conversation is over.”
I didn’t think I was ridiculous. And if I was, then I thought she wasn’t being ridiculous enough. She had to have known that even doctors could be creepers, right? But clearly, I wasn’t going to get anywhere with her on this one, so I finally shut my mouth.
“Pass me that one,” she said and pointed a pink-painted fingernail at the wall of pamphlets.
My gaze followed her finger, and I did as asked, then perused the others for myself when she was quietly reviewing it.
After a few seconds of silence, she gasped and shoved it back at me. “Damn it, Brady. Take this back. Everything in here is absolutely appalling,” Allegra said, her face looking both disgusted and perplexed. Her mouth formed an O as she leaned forward ever so slightly on the table she was sitting on again. “My vagina is going to be stretched out for a watermelon to shoot through it. Do you know what that means?”
“That it’ll hurt less when you take a big one inside you?” Not that I wanted to think about that. Unless it was me she was taking, then it was fine. Better than fine. Okay, the point was. . . “As for the horrified look on your face, you’re the one who told me to pass it to you. I just did as I was asked.” Not that I understood why Allegra wanted to read any of the pamphlets they had in this office on what might happen to her body during childbirth. I mean, that was months from now, and everyone’s body was different, right? Plus, all this stuff made it look gross. I thought childbirth was supposed to be a beautiful miracle.
“Ugh,” she groaned, disgusted again, as she rolled her eyes. “I’m going to choose to be optimistic and say that this baby is only going to make my life better. And any changes to my body will only be a reflection of the beauty of my body going through this.”
“That’s the spirit.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t be passive-aggressive with me. Maybe it’s not beautiful, but you know what is? Stronger orgasms, which happens to many women who have sex during pregnancy. That could be me.” She hitched a brow and looked at me intently.
Oh, I didn’t like the thought of that one bit. I mean, sure, again, if it was with me. But anyone else? No way. I didn’t want some other man violating my baby like that, but I was a smart enough man to know now wasn’t the time to broach that subject. “Point made.” I leaned over and swiped a strand of hair out of her face. As I did, her eyes met mine and it was like I couldn’t look away, didn’t want to. I cleared my throat and forced myself to do so, though, as I simultaneously stuffed my hands in my pockets. Meanwhile, the ultrasound tech walked in.
“Momma Morelli. I understand we’re doing your first ultrasound today. Are you ready? How about you? Are you ready to see your baby, Papa?”
I nodded. At least the tech was a woman, and she had acknowledged me. Things were looking up for this part of the appointment. Then she put away the stirrups and extended the table for Allegra to lie back.
* * *
Allegra
“We should get it framed,” I suggested, clutching the sonogram with both my hands.
I stared down at it and felt tears sting the back of my eyes. Was this how all women felt when they had a tangible thing to hold onto of their yet-to-be-born baby?
I couldn’t believe it. I was going to be a mom. To this little one. This little miracle.
I still didn’t know how this happened. Okay, not technically. I mean, I knew how it happened—thank you crap condom.
But if you had asked me a year ago if this was where I’d be today, staring at a sonogram of my baby, I would have said no. Not that I didn’t want kids but not now. It wasn’t planned. I wasn’t with the love of my life.
No, but you’re having a child with Brady, so take the win and bite your tongue.
I loosened my grip on the sonogram, not wanting to ruin it. This was the first thing I had of our baby and I didn’t want to let it out of my sight, let alone ruin it. I wanted to hold on to it forever. Was that strange?
Brady peered over my shoulder, and I looked back at him before eyeing the two other people in the elevator with us. “Better yet, I think we should frame them all and make a wall for them so we can commemorate the growth of the baby.”
Woah. Had that idea just come out of Brady’s mouth? I was shocked when he’d actually wanted to be part of all of this. And I was shocked again now. He just kept on surprising me. “I love that idea,” I practically gushed, my voice hitting a new octave. When all eyes fell on me in the cramped space, I shrunk and grinned. “Sorry,” I whispered.
I felt Brady’s breath on the shell of my ear as he whispered, “You don’t ever have to apologize to me for being enthusiastic.”
I didn’t need a mirror to know my cheeks were stained a dark pink because they were burning. Scratch that, they were on fire. Brady had a way with words. “Something tells me you’re not talking about this anymore,” I replied, spinning around to face him while looking at the picture out of the corner of my eye.
He winked at me and, for the first time in my life, I sympathized with women who’d said their ovaries fluttered. Mine did at that wink. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish we had this elevator to ourselves so that we could have a little fun. But no. I shook my head, trying to think clearly. That wouldn’t be a good idea. It was a one-time thing. Never to happen again. Well, duh, Allegra, that is what one time means. See, this was what Brady did to me. I lost sense of all rational thought.
“Ding, ding, ding. You’re right, Allegra. I wasn’t talking about that baby x-ray.”
“Sonogram,” I corrected him.
Just then, the elevator doors opened. Brady and I let everyone else leave first since we were in the back. I stopped walking when we got outside and opened my purse. “Hold on a second,” I instructed Brady.
He listened, coming to a stop and turning on his heel to face me where I stood a couple steps behind him.
I took out my wallet and placed the picture inside. “I want to make sure I don’t lose it.”
“And you couldn’t do this in the car?”
A warmth spread throughout my body. I didn’t know what it was. It wasn’t like Brady had said anything in particular. Frankly, he hadn’t said anything at all. But I stopped fussing with my wallet and purse and stared up at him, my heart beating so fast I could hear it in my ears. I stared into his intense brown eyes and didn’t look away. Brady and I were talking like we were a couple, which was so unimaginable I couldn’t even fathom it.
Brady and me.
A couple.
Ha! It was laughable.
“What?” Brady questioned, furrowing his brows. “What’s that look for?”
The corners of my lips turned upward and I shrugged. Brady and I couldn’t be together because I didn’t want him to wake up one day and regret settling down with someone like me—someone who didn’t fit the mold. But I wasn’t mad that he was the father of my baby. Honestly, I thought I might’ve made out like a bandit.
I couldn’t exactly express my thoughts, so instead, I lied, telling him, “I’m just glad this appointment is over. Now I can get back to work.”
As though the air had been deflated from him like a balloon, he nodded passively. “Sure. I can only imagine how much work you have with the next issue coming out soon.”
I cleared my throat and started walking again. Brady did the same, falling in step with me. “You could say that. I’m planning an event. So not necessarily about the next issue but still lots to do.”
He looked crestfallen and my heart broke as he asked, “Are you sure it can’t wait, though? I thought maybe we could grab a bite to eat and—”
Together? I shook my head, and he must have noticed because he stopped talking. “I wish I could, but there’s so much to be done. You don’t mind, do you?”
He walked around to the driver’s side and unlocked the car. He peered at me from above the hood. “Not at all. Another time.”
“Yeah, another time.” But in reality, there wouldn’t be another time because while we had been great fuck buddies the one time, we couldn’t ever be more than that, and I genuinely believed it’d be for the best if we could keep clear heads about this whole thing.