There Are No Words (The Morelli Sisters #3)

Chapter Thirteen

Allegra

“I can’t believe we’re back here seeing Dr. Intrusive.”

I was pulling my hoodie over my head and stopped in my tracks at Brady’s words, my hands still at the hem. “Please don’t tell me this is going to be a repeat of last time.”

Brady crossed his arms, his muscles bulging, which had me looking away. Lately I’d been having a stronger urge to lick every part of him until I had my fill and sit on his face while he ate me out. Honestly, I’d always been game for a good sexual experience, but this was just extra. I was not usually this horny.

“Is he going to look at you the way he did last time?” Brady countered.

I rolled my eyes at his sheer ridiculousness. If he meant like I was his pregnant patient, and he had a job to do, then yes, Brady, yes he was going to look at me the same way.

It seemed like I wouldn’t need to clear away the intense desire I had for Brady because this weird thing he had with my doctor was doing that for me.

I pulled the hoodie up and over my head. “It’s freezing outside, but in here I’m roasting.”

“It’s called heat for a reason.”

“Yeah, well, since when did a little winter weather bother anyone?” Okay, so even I knew there were a hundred things wrong with what I’d just said, but I was tired of being hot. And cold. And hot again. If this was what menopause was going to be like, then spare me, please.

Brady’s mouth opened like he was about to say something, but no words came out. His eyes roamed over my stomach, which was bare because my shirt had been pulled up with the hoodie.

I covered my skin and tucked loose hair behind my ear, trying to not look like such a mess. It didn’t change anything, though, because he didn’t avert his attention. “You can stop staring now,” I said, sincerely hoping he would.

Brady closed his mouth, wet his lips, and finally spoke—“When did that happen?”

I shrugged. “I’m not sure, honestly. I guess it just did. Does that make sense?” I looked down and saw what he saw. What I’d noticed this morning when I looked in the mirror—I had a hint of a baby bump. It was nothing, really, but Brady seemed to be making a big deal out of it just the same.

He walked over and extended his arm but then stopped just before reaching my belly. “May I?” he asked.

I looked from his hand to his eyes. They were searching mine for consent. I nodded my agreement. Technically, it was my body, but it was his baby in there, too, so it seemed only right.

His warm hand rested gently, his fingers delicately following the curve of my stomach. This was the first time he’d expressed interest in touching my belly, and, if I was being honest, I didn’t think I’d care that much that he did. But his hand felt good, like it belonged there. I wanted to place my hand over his and fully be in the moment. It felt like giving myself a false sense of reality, though, so I didn’t do that. I didn’t move an inch.

He surprised me by bringing his other hand to my chin and lifting it up with the side of his thumb to urge me to look him straight in the eye. I did, and what I saw in his eyes scared me a little—desire I’d never seen from him before. “You’re beautiful,” Brady whispered in the quiet room.

What else was he going to say? Of course he had to say that. I was carrying his child and he couldn’t very well say oh, hey, you’re growing round because of our baby. Good for you.

Feeling awkward, I cleared my throat and looked around, trying to peel my attention from him and this moment. “Is someone coming soon or did they forget about us?” I’d never hoped more than I did now that a door would open the door so I’d be put out of my misery.

The less time I’d spend alone with this man, the better off I would be.

Brady backed up, his hand falling from my belly, and I immediately wished I could go back in time and make a different decision. Geez, if I was smart at all, I would have grabbed him by the back of his neck and pushed his lips to mine. I wanted to touch him, to feel him, to be under him again.

But that was never going to happen because our situation wasn’t about love. It was what it was—an accidental pregnancy. Me making it out to be anything more would just be preposterous. And I would end up crushed. It wasn’t worth it.

“So we never actually talked about it,” Brady started, placing his hands in his pockets. “Do you want to find out the sex of the baby?”

I arched a brow and volleyed the question back to him—“Do you?”

He shrugged. “I never thought about it before, but yeah, I’d like to know. The book said there’s a remote possibility we could find out at this appointment.”

I cringed at the mention of that godforsaken book again, but decided to let it go. “I always imagined I’d want to be surprised. You know, have like a huge gender reveal party with my family and friends.”

“But now?”

“Now I think I’d like to know whether it’s a boy or girl.”

Just then, the technician came in and she must have overheard that last part because she asked, “Did I hear you two want to find out the sex?”

I peered over at Brady, and we both nodded. “Yes,” I answered on behalf of both of us.

“Perfect,” she replied as she got set up. “I’m just going to have you lie down for me and pull up your shirt so I can do the ultrasound. There’s no guarantee I’ll be able to predict it today, but I’ll try. Also, it’s important to remember it might not be accurate.”

I nodded and did as she asked, passing my hoodie to Brady. “Do you mind holding this?”

Brady nodded and took it from me, tossing it over his ripped arm.

Once I was all set, she brought the wand over to me and warned, “This might be a little cold.” I could use all the cold I could get, I thought to myself.

My body shuddered slightly at the touch and Brady reached down and grabbed my hand, holding it in his. The room was silent and I turned my head away from Brady to the monitor. No sound until lub-dub, lub-dub .

“That’s the sound of your baby’s heartbeat,” the woman explained to us. We had learned that last time, but hearing that sound never got old. I could listen to it all day long.

“Is everything okay?” Brady asked when she said nothing more.

She nodded. “Your baby looks perfectly healthy. And good news—the baby is in a good position to see which way the genital nub is pointing, so I’m going to have the doctor come in and let you know the sex.”

I shook my head and sat up a little when she removed the wand.

“Usually the doctor reads that. He’ll just be one moment, okay?” she furthered, getting up and passing me a tissue. “I’ll give you some privacy to clean up before he comes in.”

“Thank you.” I took the tissue from her, and with a smile, she was gone, the door closing behind her again.

I looked to Brady and groaned. “Why do they make us wait so long?” I asked, annoyed with all these medical protocols.

He shrugged. “It’s not all bad. We got to hear the heartbeat again.”

“That was nice.” I smiled, remembering the sound as I went to bring the tissue to my belly and clean myself.

“Let me,” he said, but didn’t wait for me to give him the tissue, just took it and began wiping the gel off my belly. He took his time, his eyes connecting with mine the entire time.

“I could have done that myself,” I told him, slightly breathless. I was pathetic. The slightest touch from this man and I was putty in his hands.

“You’re never going to ask for help, so I’m not going to ask if you want it. From now on, I’m going to help you, and you’re going to just deal with it. Do you understand?”

I swallowed at the deep, sexy tone of his voice. Note to self: the more demanding he got, the more turned on I got. I wished we weren’t in this room, weren’t at a doctor’s office, so I could take care of the throbbing in between my legs.

“You like that, don’t you?” he asked, a smirk on his lips. “You like it when I tell you what to do.”

Shit! He could read me like a book. How obvious was I? What, did I have it written on my forehead? I want you, Brady Moore .

Not that I would ever admit that. “You’re bonkers.” I rolled my eyes, making him out to be delusional. In all actuality, I was the delusional one because I was driving myself wild with my desire for Brady paired with my need to keep him at arm’s length. Someone tell me again why I thought it would be a good idea to have a one-night stand. People had them every day without getting a positive symbol, but I had a one-night stand and bam , knocked up.

He shook his head and grabbed the hem of my shirt, bringing it down to cover me. “You know, under any other circumstance, I’d be taking these clothes off you.”

“Too bad we don’t have that kind of relationship.”

“And what kind of relationship would that be?”

“The kind where you and I have feelings for one another.”

“Oh, I have feelings for you, all right.”

“Sexual ones don’t count.”

He didn’t get to respond because the doctor came in. Walking back around to stand at the side of me, Brady whispered in my ear, “If I had it my way, that wouldn’t have been gel on you.”

I shifted uncomfortably and greeted the doctor, inching forward to dangle my feet over the edge. “How have you been doing?” the doctor asked, but all I could think about was what Brady had said to me.

His mouth and the dirty things that came from it were going to be the death of me.

“Um,” I tried to find the words to answer my doctor.

With a cocky grin on his smug-ass face, Brady answered, “What Allegra’s trying to say is we’re good, just want to find out the gender of our baby.”

I nodded slowly. “Right, yep, what he said.” Real good, Allegra, lose the ability to speak. That was all Brady needed, to know that I was flustered by his words.

“Good, I’m glad to hear it,” the doctor responded. “So, let’s pull it up here, shall we?”

I mindlessly began fussing, wringing my hands together in my lap. The anticipation was killing me, but I wasn’t entirely sure why. I mean, all that mattered was that the baby was healthy, which they were. The technician had just confirmed that. So, at this point, whether it was a girl or boy was neither here nor there.

I supposed part of me hoped it was a girl. I knew more about them, for one. Having a boy, well, I would be totally out of my element. I wouldn’t know the first thing about what they were interested in or what to expect as they were growing up. I could do research and learn as I was going, but I felt like I’d always be at a disadvantage. I’d have Brady, and he’d know, obviously, but what about me?

Even if we did have a girl, I doubted she would even be able to connect with me. It was one thing to be close with my niece, but my own daughter? She would grow up to hate me and how different I was, just like her father would. See, this was exactly what I didn’t want. Would I have to hide myself from my own kid? I wouldn’t know how to tell them Mommy has a psychic. Would you like to meet her one day? Or better yet don’t worry about never having met your grandmother because you can talk to her. She’ll still be part of your life, my medium will introduce you. I didn’t think it was weird. I thought it all made sense and I wanted to share that with my child, but would they want to hear it? Would they believe in the same things I did? Not that it was a necessity. The only necessity was not hating me.

Brady didn’t even want to hear his daily horoscope. I’d always offered to be kind, but he probably thought I was ridiculous. He had the hots for me, and we were roommates, so there was a reason he stuck around. But it wasn’t like he’d signed up to wake up every morning, turn over, and find out what his sign predicted the day was going to be like.

Not that I didn’t read his horoscope, anyway, after he’d finally told me his birthdate recently. Because I did. I’d also checked to see if we were compatible—romantically, of course. We weren’t. Not even a little. No surprise there.

The doctor made a move to circle something on the monitor, but I turned my head toward Brady. “Brady,” I started, slightly unsure I wanted to know anymore. Would it change anything? Maybe we should wait.

“Hmm?” he questioned, confusion coloring his expression. “What’s wrong?” He grabbed my hand like he had before, only this time he gave it a gentle reassuring squeeze. “Did you change your mind?”

I nodded but then shook my head. “Yes. I mean, no. I mean, oh, I don’t know.”

“What are you worried about?” His tone and expression told me everything his words didn’t— whether it’s a boy or girl isn’t going to change anything, but if you really don’t want to wait to find out, then we’ll wait .

I licked my lips and took a deep breath in and exhaled. “Nothing. I’m okay.” I turned back toward the doctor and gave him a smile. “Ignore me. Let’s find out the sex of our baby.”

I placed my other hand on top of his and relished in the way it felt, like his confidence was radiating through my body from his touch. I never realized just how much I needed him at these appointments.

“All right,” the doctor finally said, a grin coming across his face. “You’re having a girl.”

“A girl,” I repeated, the words coming out in a hushed whisper. It was as though I could hardly believe it. I covered my mouth with my hand, and tears pooled in my eyes, making it difficult to see clearly.

“It’s a girl,” Brady parroted, his voice hoarse, like he was also feeling emotional.

I peered up at him and nodded, letting the tears fall down my face. I laughed and cried all at once, so excited and happy for everything that was to come.

He wrapped his arms around me, and I sucked in, loving the way he smelled like aftershave today. “I’m going to protect the fuck out of our daughter,” he whispered in my hair.

I chuckled against his body, gripping his shirt with my hands, never wanting to let go. “Is she not going to be allowed to date until she’s thirty?” It was such a dad thing to think.

He pulled back and scowled. “Try fifty.”

“I hope she’s a daddy’s girl.”

He tapped the tip of my nose. “Something tells me she’s going to be glued at the hip to her mommy.”

* * *

Ever since the appointment, I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to have a girl. A daughter. Should her nursery be pink with butterflies like Mom had done for Perla (hers was the only nursery I remembered)? Would she look cute with those headbands or bows in her hair? Of course she would. Every girl looked adorable with accessories.

And then I couldn’t help but let my mind wander to Mom. She was going to miss all of it. Not that I hadn’t already figured that one out. It was just, now it was more real, you know? She would never be able to meet her granddaughter in person or give me advice on raising a strong, independent girl like she’d raised my sisters and I to be. Since Mom’s death, things just hit differently, and this would be one of those things.

I twisted and turned in bed, unable to find a comfortable position. Why did all these thoughts have to flood my mind at night? And why was my bed suddenly so uncomfortable? Oh, that was right, because I preferred to sleep on my stomach and being pregnant sort of stopped that from happening. Then Brady had to go and tell me sleeping on my back was also not advisable as I got further into the pregnancy. Apparently, he’d read something in that stupid book of his about that not being good for me or Baby. Annoying book. Annoying Brady. Why did he have to be all-knowing?

I’d swear he might have been the only man in the history of the world who knew this much about a woman’s body during pregnancy. If he thought it was earning him points, he’d be wrong.

Okay, fine, so he would be right. I was impressed.

And slightly turned on.

But that would have also been chalked up to the heightened libido shit I had going on.

Pregnancy—the only good thing about it was that I was getting a lifelong friend out of it.

My daughter and I would be friends, right?

Oh, yeah. We were going to be great friends. I pushed all my anxieties from earlier out of my mind and focused on how she’d confide in me about everything. We’d talk hair and makeup and all the gossip from school. And then I’d have to tell her not to stay out too late and never ride on the back of a motorcycle even if she really wanted to.

Naturally, I’d have to give her the sex talk.

Ugh. I was never going to be friends with her, was I? She was going to villainize me. I already had so much working against me.

I rolled over for the nine-hundredth time tonight and stared at the clock on my nightstand. Stupid clock was probably mocking me. I’d been up for the past hour and couldn’t fall asleep. There was something about the two o’clock hour. It was like the witching hour or something because once I woke up at that time, I was hardly ever able to get back to sleep.

“You know what I want,” I spoke softly to myself in the dark, quiet room, “a pickle. I want a juicy pickle.”

I grunted and covered my eyes with the back of my arm. Pickles? I wanted pickles in the middle of the night? Or early in the morning, depending on the way you looked at it. Great, I was having a craving.

Oooh, I was having a craving! That was exciting, right?

Too bad we didn’t have pickles in the apartment. But that wasn’t the point, the point was I’d hit a pregnancy milestone—cravings.

I had to tell Brady. He wanted to be part of every little thing and this warranted knowing. Even if it was still dark outside.

I got up—a little too fast because I got dizzy—and put on my fuzzy slippers. I grabbed my blue satin robe before leaving my room in pursuit of his.

I knocked on his bedroom door and called his name softly.

Nothing.

I tried again, waiting for him to hear me.

When he didn’t, I knocked again and hollered, “Brady, are you up?” Stupid question, but it was worth a shot.

Still nothing.

“Ohmigod, Brady! I have news!” I called, rapping on his door with a vengeance. Maybe he was dead. At this rate, who could be sure?

Honestly, waking him was as bad as trying to wake Perla. Let’s just say that even on her birthday I had to coax her out of bed. A good breakfast was the only way to do it, by the way.

Jerking his door open, I heard him yawn. “What? Is everything okay?” Brady asked in his velvety voice as he stood opposite me. How did he not sound like he’d swallowed a frog at this time of night?

And what was that smell? I sniffed the air. Sandalwood. Maybe a hint of amber, too. Must have been the soap he used, but I’d be damned if my thighs didn’t clench at the intoxicating smell. I wanted to inhale it all night.

Thankfully, he was wearing a shirt and pants, or I’d be caught drooling over his incredible physique. Although, I didn’t need to see his naked body to know that it was pure perfection. Plus, a man like Brady oozed sex appeal.

But that wasn’t why I’d knocked on his door.

Clearing away the fog, I shook my head. “I want a pickle.”

One side of his mouth curved up, and it looked like he was about to feel very smug, not that I had any idea why.

“You know if you want my cock, you can come right out and ask. We both know you have no problem being blunt.”

I gave him a dumbfounded look. Did he really just make this about that? “What?”

He crossed his muscular arms—seriously, it looked like he was a pro bench-presser. “A pickle?” He hissed air through his teeth. “I don’t mind my cock being referred to as that, but it turns me on much more when your sweet mouth comes out and says the word, Allegra. Cock. ”

The mouth on this man. It was going to be my undoing.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I paused when he pointed at my lips. “Come on, Allegra, you’re going to need to open your mouth a whole lot more than that to fit me.” He winked. “You know that.”

I did know that. But I didn’t want to talk about that. I mean, I wasn’t talking about that. I blinked, trying to regain my composure and come out with what it was I was trying to say when I first came to his room. “No, I mean I actually want a pickle.”

“Oh,” he said, frowning. “Why are you telling me?”

I rolled my lips. “It’s my first craving.”

But he didn’t react. He only uncrossed his arms. “So you need a pickle. It’s no good to deny your cravings. The book—”

I eyed him and angled my head.

“Never mind. But seriously, let’s get you a pickle. Come with me to the kitchen.” He moved toward me, but I shook my head.

“That’s okay. I just wanted to tell you.”

“Why not?”

I shrugged. “We don’t have any. Oddly enough, they’re on my grocery list this week. Although, Baby didn’t get the memo we were out.”

“There’s a gas station and food mart that’s open twenty-four hours.”

“How do you know that?”

He shrugged. “I own a pub. I usually get home pretty late and sometimes need to stop in for things.”

“Okayyy.” I placed a finger on my lip and shook my head.

Then he nudged his head toward the inside of his room. “Let me just get dressed, and I’ll head out.”

I crossed my arms. “You don’t have to, really.”

“If you’re craving it, I do,” he insisted.

Leaving the door open, he went inside. I followed him in, but still stayed close to the door. My eyes fell on his bed and I swallowed. It wasn’t like we’d even had sex on his bed, and yet, just looking at it, my mind kept wandering to a vision of Brady’s body over mine as I laid on it.

I cleared my throat as he opened a drawer to get clothes. “So, are you okay?” He shook his head. “I mean, other than the craving.”

I nodded, flipping my hair to one side. “Yeah. I’ve been thinking, though. I don’t want to tell anyone the gender of the baby. Not yet anyway.”

He got his clothes out and tossed them on the bed. “Really? Why? It’s not like we don’t already know it. So why keep it a secret?”

I swayed my head back and forth, a smile forming on my lips. “Since we’re not going to be surprised, I want to make it a fun surprise for everyone else. I was thinking we can tell everyone at once at the baby shower.”

He brought his hand to the hem of his shirt and began pulling it over his head. Coughing, I turned on my heel and tried not to look his way, letting my attention fall to just about anything and everything else. Oh, hey, look at his closet door. It took all of my willpower, just so you know.

“Do men usually go to baby showers?”

I raked my teeth over my bottom lip. “They can be co-ed. That way you, my dad, Dom, and the guys can come.”

“All right. If that’s what you want.”

“It is.”

“Allegra.” The way he said my name made my heart melt.

“Mmhmm,” I answered, waiting to hear what he had to say.

I felt hot breath on my neck and didn’t need to turn around to know that he was standing right behind me, his mouth mere inches from my skin. If I moved, even a little, I knew his mouth would be on mine. Was that what I wanted, though? I thought it was, but then I had to go and remember all the reasons we were a bad idea.

“You can turn around, Allegra. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, praying for strength. Because I knew if I turned around, then I would do something we’d both regret later. He may have thought he wanted me, but he wasn’t thinking clearly, not really. After a while, he’d see why us being together wasn’t a good idea. Being with someone like me may have been interesting at first, but it would wear on him eventually. I didn’t want to see that happen. So this was for the best.

I stepped away from him, so I could think clearly. “Which is why I don’t need to see it again. Once was enough,” I lied.

He snickered. “You lie to yourself too often.”

He knew me so damn well. “Thanks for sharing this moment with me. You really don’t have to go out, but if you do, I appreciate it.” And with that, I left his room and didn’t look back. I couldn’t.