Chapter Twenty-Three
Allegra
“Oh, holy hell!” Bianca shouted. “You and Brady had steamy sex last night.” She splayed her hands on the kitchen counter and smacked her lips.
She’d come by to drop off fresh ham and rolls she’d picked up from a bakery on her way here, which I was thankful for. But I placed a finger in front of my lips as I peered toward the hallway. “Shhh!” I warned her. “Brady’s in the bathroom, but he might hear you.”
Bianca giggled. “Sweetie, I think he knows the two of you did the nasty. He was there.” Then she gasped. “Wait a second! Does that mean—”
She stopped talking abruptly, and I knew exactly what she was saying without actually saying i t — does that mean you and Brady are a couple now?
See, we weren’t just sisters, but best friends, too. I knew what she was thinking ninety-nine percent of the time.
I swayed my head back and forth and gave her a lopsided smile. “I’m not sure. It’s complicated. He didn’t want to sleep with me again unless I was all in.”
“Oooh, that’s hot. Were those his exact words?” She crossed her legs and got even more comfortable on my kitchen counter.
I groaned and blew bubbles, slouching as I leaned beside her. “More or less. And I want to. I want to be all in. I want to be with Brady.”
“But you’re afraid?” Bianca asked, and I nodded.
“How did you do it? How did you let go of your fear of losing Knox and let yourself be happy with him?”
Bianca hopped off the counter and rubbed a hand up and down her arm. “That wasn’t easy.” She eyed me and raised a brow. “But you know what? I just knew that I had to because if I let my fear get in the way, I would be turning my fear into a reality because I would’ve lost him.”
“You’re stronger than I am.”
Bianca chuckled and shook her head. “No, I’m not. Trust me, I know I’m not. Knox always says I‘m strong, too, but I don’t see it that way.”
“It’s funny, but I get what you’re saying. I feel like Brady sees me one way, too, but I don’t see myself that way.”
“Maybe you should.” She shrugged. “Try to see yourself the way he sees you.”
I rolled my eyes. “He looks at me like I’m God’s gift to the world or something.”
She laughed. “I think he sees you as his gift, like someone he wants to be with.”
Shaking my head, I walked toward the couch, trying to make sense of it all. “What if he changes his mind?”
Bianca waved me off. “You’re worrying too much. Brady doesn’t strike me as the fickle type. You have to believe him. Let him in and believe him. The rest will fall into place.”
Tears welled in my eyes, and I blinked them away, not wanting to cry. “I want to.”
“I know you do.”
I sniffled and looked at the clock on the oven. “Do you have to get to work?” Technically, I had to, as well, but I was taking a leisurely morning to myself. In my role, I could work from anywhere, anyway, so I was never too concerned about getting to the office on time.
She waved a hand in the air and tried to pass it off as nothing. “I work too hard as it is. I wanted to spend some time with my sister. Family comes first.”
I smiled. “Always.” Then I politely tried to kick her out so she could get on with her day. “Now get out of here so I can devour those rolls in private.”
The corners of her lips curled upward, and she shook her head, grabbing her purse off the couch and placing it on her shoulder. “Enjoy them. I had one myself, and they’re fabulous.”
“They always are,” I agreed, waving to her as she opened the door. “See you later, sis.”
“Bye, girlie,” she returned with a small wave before closing the door behind her.
I sighed and glared down the hallway again, arching a brow. I really wanted to dive into those rolls, add some soft butter, the fresh ham and. . . oof my mouth was watering already.
Maybe I’d share with Brady.
What was taking him so long, though?
I gazed down again and rubbed my belly. “Come on, let’s see what’s taking Daddy so long.”
I walked to the bathroom and knocked when I heard the shower running. “Brady? You about done in there? I have to get to work soon but wanted to have breakfast with you.” I wanted to mentally slap myself when I realized he’d probably heard about a quarter of that.
Shaking my head, I turned the knob and opened the door. The change in temperature was extreme, and it became obvious very quickly that he was taking a hot shower. Frankly, I couldn’t blame him. I, myself, enjoyed a hot shower every now and again, and with the back pain I’d been having recently, I loved the heat on my muscles.
I opened my mouth to speak but was at a loss for words when I took in the sight of Brady’s sculpted body behind the wet glass door. His head was down, so all I could see was the top of that beautiful head of hair, not that I was complaining. But then my gaze followed the path of his strong arm, and I saw something much, much bigger.
I clamped my mouth shut and swallowed, willing myself to look away. I should look away, right?
As my mind was at odds with itself, my eyes remained transfixed on Brady and his hand as it worked his cock, speeding up his strokes. He was going faster and faster and faster.
Maybe he didn’t know I was in here. So I could leave. Yeah, I could leave, and I should. Although I wouldn’t lie, a part of me was torn. I wanted to join him. I wanted to stop him before he exploded to make sure the only place that happened was inside me, whether it be in my mouth or pussy. I wanted him any way I could get him.
And there you go, Allegra. Proof right there that you should get over your bullshit!
“Allegra?” Brady asked, lifting his head. Geez, the way this man says my name.
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, sorry. I was actually just—”
I hadn’t noticed, but even as he saw me standing there, he didn’t stop. He just kept stroking himself. And then—
Brady let out a guttural groan that filled and echoed in the small bathroom.
All the while staring at me.
He was staring at me as he jacked off in the shower.
I was staring at him, watching him as he jacked off in the shower.
And I was this close—seriously, this close—to stripping down and hopping in there with him. But I really wanted a roll.
Brady’s cock.
A kaiser roll.
Brady’s cock.
A kaiser roll with fresh ham.
The war waging in my head was real.
And intense.
Very intense.
Especially since I couldn’t peel my eyes from his cock or his hand that was now covered in his arousal.
He didn’t stick his hand under the spray of water, though.
No. Instead he opened the shower door and gestured for me to come over with his index finger.
I walked over to him. “I’m hungry,” I said, trying to get the conversation back on track, to explain why I’d come in here—to see if Brady was almost done so I could eat with him.
“I know,” he replied. Although those two little words sounded a lot more sensual coming from his mouth. And then I realized what he was doing. He placed his hand in front of me and nudged it closer. “Go ahead, Allegra. Lick it. Then swallow. Swallow all of it.”
Whoever said you couldn’t have the best of both worlds clearly hadn’t met Brady. Maybe I didn’t get his cock, but sucking his arousal off his fingers was a treat. And then I could go in the kitchen and have my other treat.
I looked up at him and grabbed his wrist, guiding his hand to my mouth. I watched as some of his arousal dripped on the bathroom floor. Not wanting to waste another drop, I opened wide and tried my best to take as many fingers as possible in my mouth. I could only fit three, but I took them deep, making sure to lick his fingers clean. My pulse skipped as I sucked, my eyes floating to the back of my head at how ridiculously satisfied I was.
“Fuck,” he hissed. “If I had it my way, I would have woken you up with my cock deep inside you.”
That would have been some good morning . I let his fingers go with a loud pop and made sure to do as he instructed, swallowing every last bit I took from him. Let’s be honest, even if he hadn’t told me to I would have. Gladly. “Why didn’t you?” I asked, staring at him like I wanted to devour him whole. Because I did. I did want to devour him whole.
He shook his head, rubbing his thumb that was still covered with his arousal over my upper lip, coating me with it. Man, I wish he’d coat my whole body in it. “You needed your sleep.”
My tongue darted out and I licked him off me.
He smirked. “And our baby needs you to be well-rested.” He closed the door and went back to showering. “Give me five, and I’ll be out.”
I ran a hand through my hair, trying to regain my composure. “Yeah, I actually came in here to tell you Bianca brought rolls and ham. They’re fresh. I thought maybe we could have a nice breakfast together.”
He laughed, a deep, throaty laugh that practically bounced off the walls. “That’s what you meant when you said you were hungry.”
I brought a finger to my lips, trailing the area where his arousal had just been. “Yes, actually, but we’ll call that dessert.”
He squirted shampoo in his hand. “Have I told you how perfect you are? I’m pretty sure you were made for me.”
My heart skipped a beat. I didn’t think I’d ever tire of hearing him say that. I smiled and turned on my heel, not wanting to ruin the moment. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”
* * *
Brady
Breakfast with Allegra. This was the first breakfast we were having since I’d claimed her as mine. So screw what I’d just said and erase it from your mind because I was having breakfast with my girl . After she’d just licked my fingers clean in the bathroom, I’d say she was my good girl.
I rolled up my shirtsleeves as I made my way down the hallway and into the kitchen. I stopped in my tracks, though, when I heard Allegra talking. At first, I thought she was on the phone, but her voice was low, almost whisper-like, and she spoke with such joy and happiness. “If you’re anything like your mommy, you’re going to love carbs. Mmm,” she moaned before continuing. “And I’ll introduce you to all the best ones. Like French baguettes. There’s nothing in this whole world like them.
“Actually, my mom, your nonna. . .” She paused again before explaining, “That’s grandma, by the way. I’ll teach you some Italian so you know the basics and can understand your nonno when he curses in Italian under his breath. Which he does a lot, by the way. Usually when your Aunt Bibi does something naughty. You won’t do anything naughty, though. Well, you might, but let’s try to keep it to a minimum, okay?
“Anyway, I was saying, my mom loved carbs, too. She worked out like a warrior because of it, but she loved them just the same.”
And she went on. . . .
I didn’t want to interrupt her, though, so I just stayed there, listening to Allegra as she spoke to our daughter. My heart swelled every time I thought about her actually being here, after we brought her home from the hospital. It was true, I hadn’t been sure I was cut out to be a father. Seriously, where the hell was the guidebook? But lately, I’d been beginning to think that as long as I had Allegra and our daughter, it didn’t matter. They’d teach me everything I needed to know. I just needed to pay attention.
When Allegra finally stopped talking, I cleared my throat to announce myself, then walked the rest of the way into the kitchen. I was grinning like a goddamn fool. I didn’t think it was possible to care about two people more than I cared about Allegra and our unborn child.
She looked up and took a bite of her roll, peeling it from her mouth when she saw me, her eyes widening. “Okay, I know we were technically supposed to eat together, but—”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I would’ve done the same. Fresh ham is a serious temptation.”
She smiled. “No. You’re a serious temptation.”
“You’re as hungry for my cock as I am for those tits of yours.” I pointed to her chest, loving the way her cheeks grew pink from my openness. “Which are getting bigger, by the way.”
She looked down and smiled. “It’s because I’m having a girl. They say you carry more baby weight when you’re pregnant with a girl. I don’t know why that is, but I read it somewhere.”
I shook my head and took the seat opposite her. “I don’t care why it is. All I care about is that I get to hold them in my hands the way I did last night.”
Pushing the plate of rolls toward me, she cleared her throat and pushed a strand of hair out of her face. “I think we should talk.”
She wanted to talk? We talked all the time, but when someone said they wanted to talk, now that was when you went on high alert. Which was exactly the case with me. My back went rigid and my jaw twitched. Why did she want to talk? What was so important that she needed to preface with that?
But I didn’t get to respond because she opened her mouth to start talking again and I didn’t want to cut her off before she even got a word out. It was probably a good thing, though, because I wasn’t sure what to say other than what the hell do we have to talk about?
Then, she said, “I think we should get charted.”
Charted?
Racking my brain. . . .
Still thinking. . . .
Yeah, no. I came up empty-handed. I didn’t have the slightest clue what she was talking about.
I rested my elbow on the table and clasped my hands together. “Come again,” I finally said.
She giggled. Clearly she found my lack of knowledge on “getting charted” (whatever that meant) funny. Noted. “It’s a synastry chart that couples get done to show their compatibility and gain insights. An astrologer does it.”
“And you want us to get one?” I furrowed my brows. I didn’t hate the idea. Honestly, I didn’t care one way or another. If she wanted some chart to tell us what I already knew, then I’d get it done. “I already know we’re compatible, but if you want some piece of paper to tell you what the planets say about us, then I’m game.”
She perked up, her brows practically shooting up to her hairline. “Really?”
I nodded. Why was she shocked by this? I thought the way Allegra approached things and her unique outlook on life was interesting. Quite frankly, I thought more people should be like her. Did that mean I was going to go out and buy a star or subscribe to a horoscope newsletter or some shit? No. But I’d be down to learn and understand those things if it made her happy. Did you see where I was going with this? Basically, I just wanted to see Allegra’s glowing smile. It wasn’t that complicated.
Happy Allegra = happy Brady.
“The fact that you’re shocked by my willing participation is borderline concerning. Why the skepticism?” I questioned.
She played with her fingers, her eyes darting off to the side. Shrugging, she answered, “I know it’s weird. I mean, I know you probably think it’s weird. Everyone else I’ve ever spoken to about it, especially men I’ve dated, has thought it’s bizarre. In case you haven’t noticed, I can be a little. . .” She paused as though trying to search for the right word.
She should have just asked me for help, though. I knew exactly how to fill in that blank. She could be a little. . .
Amazing.
Captivating.
Perfect.
Yeah, I liked that one best—perfect. Allegra was perfect. Sorry to those of you who didn’t believe anyone could be perfect because Allegra achieved perfection as far as I was concerned. And, frankly, mine was the only opinion that mattered.
The sun rose and set with Allegra Morelli. Period. End of story.
“Freaky,” Allegra said, finally.
Wrong. I shook my head, unwilling to hear another second of her degrading herself. I leaned forward and grabbed her hands in mine, bringing them to my lips and kissing her knuckles. “I’d match your freaky any day of the week.”
She cocked a brow.
Damn it, Allegra, what aren’t you understanding?
“If that’s not enough, then know this: you’re not like anyone I’ve ever met, and thank God for that because normal is common and common is boring.”
The corners of her lips itched to curl upward, I could tell, but she was stopping herself. I didn’t know what it was going to take to get it through her thick skull that I didn’t give a shit about her love for astrology or spiritual crap. I wanted to be with her. Her beliefs were sort of a package deal, and that was what happened when you liked someone, when you wanted to be with them, right? You got all of it, the good, the bad, and everything in between. I wanted all of that with her.
* * *
Allegra
Ugh! I was frustrating myself at this point. How was it Brady didn’t want to pull his hair out?
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t swallow my fears and hope for the best.
I wished I could. Trust me.
I wanted to.
But I was headstrong, like the rest of my sisters. We’d gotten it from our mother. Still to this day Dad said that she had been as gabadost as they came.
And it wasn’t like my heart hadn’t practically melted when Brady had said what he had about me. It was really nice to hear, actually. But unfortunately, words were just that—words.
That didn’t mean Brady didn’t have all of me, because he did. At this point, he had ingratiated himself into every aspect of my life, and I’d welcomed him with open arms because I cared about him. A lot.
I just couldn’t let all my walls down. Then I’d be my most vulnerable, and he’d have an opportunity to shatter my heart into a million tiny pieces that could never be made whole again.
I sniffled and pointed to the door. “Well, I should probably be getting to work,” I said, being the first one to break the silence that filled (read: clouded) the air.
He brought his hand to his chin and scratched. “Yeah. I’ll clean up here.”
I wanted to kick myself. I was an idiot. Again. It felt like that was all I was around this man.
The problem was, I was slightly broken. I’d been beaten down by the unfortunate realities of the world—different wasn’t accepted, and it probably never would be.
I rolled my lips and got up, placing a hand on my lower back as I did. Before I left the room, Brady said, “You’re glowing, by the way.”
I closed my eyes and willed myself not to look his way, not to see the compassion in his eyes. Maybe I should have, but I didn’t. “I’m waiting for the baby to kick,” I responded.
“I hope I’m around for that. I want to feel her kick, too.”
I nodded. “I’ve only felt a flutter so far, but, Brady—” I turned around, our eyes connecting. I was right—I saw the care he had for me in them. “I’d want to share her first kick with you. I’d like to share that moment with you.” Really, I wanted to share all the moments with him. Although, I couldn’t seem to bring myself to say those words aloud.
Tears stung my eyes and I prayed none fell. He didn’t need to feel bad for me. I felt bad for him because I knew what he wanted, and didn’t know if I could give it to him.