4. Bridget
CHAPTER 4
brIDGET
W hen I suggested we get married, I was only half-serious, assuming he would scoff at the ridiculous idea, and that would be the end of it. In a matter of a few short hours, he somehow convinced me to not only marry him, but to throw all of the rules out the fucking window. I can’t blame it on drinking; I only had two pints. The fantasy of Lucas and I being together was always just that, a fantasy, an indulgence I used for inspiration while touching myself. Lucas is flirtatious, but it’s always been harmless banter. I had no reason to believe he felt anything real for me. I’m certain it’s a dream and I’ll wake up at any moment.
On the drive over to Ronan’s, my stomach is in knots. Are we really going to do this? Get married? We agreed to not say anything to our friends and family until we’ve told Gavin everything. It doesn’t calm my nerves any. If anything, keeping a secret from Ronan makes it worse.
Lucas parks next to Ronan’s car and gets out to open my door. He offers his hand, which I stupidly take. Of course he won’t let go of it and my heart skips a beat. “Luc, we can’t go in there looking like we’re dating.”
“We’re not dating; we’re engaged,” he corrects. His wide grin meets his eyes and it’s a sin how beautiful his smile is. “Who will be the wiser if I hold your hand until I knock on the door?”
“Are you sure about this?”
“About you and me? Absolutely. We’re not getting married for the right reasons, but I don’t have a single reservation about being with you. We’ll take this slow, no matter how much I want to jump in with two feet.” He releases my hand to knock on Ronan’s door, then stuffs his hands in his trouser pockets. “But it doesn’t mean I’m any less yours.”
“Lucas, I?—”
The door opens and Nora’s beaming. “Bridge, Luc!” She opens it wider for us to come inside.
I begin struggling off my jacket, and Lucas helps me out of it the rest of the way, whispering beside my ear, “We aren’t going to hide like Ronan and Nora did.”
Nora clears her throat and I hope with all of my being she didn’t hear him. “Gavin and Leo are outside playing football, everyone should be here within the hour.”
Gavin adores Lucas and will probably be over the moon the moment we tell him, but he deserves to be the first to know Lucas and I are engaged. Fucking hell, I’m engaged? I never thought I would remarry, and certainly not someone like Lucas.
We make our way out to the small pitch Ronan had put in when he bought the property. The boys are laughing as they play with Ronan. Lucas slings his arm around my shoulder, a gesture he’s done in the past and I never thought much of it—he’s always friendly and affectionate. We’re spotted by Leo who yells for Lucas to join them. Squeezing once before releasing me, Lucas whispers, “Are you going to cheer me on, pup?” He doesn’t wait for my reply as he jogs over to the boys. They greet him with open arms and my heart is caught in my throat.
“Pup? You’re in so much trouble.” Nora chuckles and I’m unable to keep my eyes off Lucas laughing at something Gavin said to him.
“What are you talking about?” I ask, guilt seeping in.
“Don’t play stupid with me, Bridge. I’ve been saying it for ages: that man is in love with you.”
I blow out a long breath. “If I tell you something, do you promise to not tell Ronan?”
“No,” she laughs. “I don’t keep anything from your brother, but if you’ve been secretly shagging Lucas for months, I’m sure Ronan already knows, or at least suspects it.”
“What?” My squeaky question comes out a bit too loud, getting Lucas’ attention. When he resumes playing, I lower my voice and grit out, “I’m not sleeping with Lucas.”
“Are you serious? Not once?”
“I think I would remember having sex, Nor,” I grumble. “It’s much worse. His agent and lawyers fucked up his visa, and he has to leave Ireland.”
She gasps, hand flying to her mouth. “No!”
“Unfortunately, he’s exhausted all of his options but citizenship.”
“Don’t you have to live and work here for a year?” I don’t reply and she sucks in a breath. “He doesn’t have family here, they are all in Brisbane, aren’t they? Unless he marries… Bridget! Are you going to?—”
“Hush! What is it with everyone loudly sharing incredibly personal information today? Yes, we’re going to have a contract marriage so he can stay, but we’re going to talk to Gavin about it first. I warned Lucas if Gav isn’t on board, I’m out.”
“That beast of a man is okay with marrying you for rugby? There has to be more to it.” Nora may not be buying my explanation, but I’m not ready to share the full truth.
I look out onto the pitch, my heart full of love for all four of them playing. Lucas towers above Ronan and the boys, but height is the least of it. He’s a wall of muscle with his broad shoulders, thick neck, and even thicker thighs. I can’t help wondering if his cock follows the same physical aesthetic.
“He may or may not have heard me fucking myself a few times,” I admit.
“So?” She gestures vaguely in his direction. “It wasn’t as if you were thinking about him while you touched yourself… Oh. You totally were, weren’t you?”
I wince. “Yes.”
“Bloody hell, Bridge. Don’t tell me he heard you moan his name.”
“He did,” I groan. “He thought I needed something and came into the bathroom to check on me.”
“He hears you mid-orgasm, then asks you to marry him? I’m missing something here. According to Ronan, Lucas had several girlfriends and boyfriends, and a few… they friends, I guess you could call them? I’m not sure how he referred to them—you’d have to ask Lucas—but he was always in a relationship or dating someone. He came here and hasn’t been on a single date. You don’t find that strange? Then, all of a sudden, he’s proposing? It doesn’t add up, especially with how that beautiful man looks at you.”
“Yes, okay, fine, I’m in love with Lucas. I have been for a long fucking time, and apparently he feels the same. Is that what you wanted to hear?” Her smile grows wider at my admission. “It’s complicated. While the marriage will be for his citizenship, it’s more than that. I don’t want him to leave. Getting caught mid-orgasm and the marriage aren’t in any way related, except he said some things I’m definitely saving for later when the boys aren’t home.”
Nora laughs and asks, “If you get married, shouldn’t one of the perks be that you get to climb him like a tree? No vibrator required.”
Before I can answer, Gav calls to me, “Mum, come be my goalie!”
“What about Nor?” I yell back.
Ronan answers, “She’ll be mine!”
Nora groans, playfully rolling her eyes. “Come on. They’re not going to stop asking until we join in.”
Nora and I only have to play for a few minutes before a few of the boys’ football friends arrive and we’re able to sneak away. I’ve hardly been focused, unable to stop thinking about Nora’s suggestion. I couldn’t have meaningless sex, my heart couldn’t take it. Lucas is undoubtedly one of the most wonderful men I’ve ever known, and I trust him when he says he loves me, but we’ve never been on a real date. If this is going to work, I need to insist we truly take things slow.
With the boys preoccupied with the birthday celebration, we don’t have a chance to talk to Gavin. Still, Lucas finds subtle ways to touch me in ways an outsider wouldn’t be suspicious. Except Nora, who can’t wipe the stupid smile off her face. I’m able to convince her to wait until tomorrow to tell Ronan and breathe a sigh of relief we won’t be there for him to become a protective big brother.
Once we’re home and dressed for bed, Lucas and I sit with Gavin on the couch for the conversation I’m now dreading to have. I finally ask Gav, “What would you think if Lucas had to leave?”
“Why does this sound like my friends’ divorced parents?” Gavin crosses his arms and sits further into the sofa.
I hate how he’s being defensive, but he could see this as someone abandoning him. A deflection. I try again. “Something has come up, but what if we had a way Lucas wouldn’t have to leave?” He perks up and I continue, “Luc had an issue with renewing his visa, meaning he can’t stay in Ireland unless he’s a citizen. I don’t want him to go back to Australia, unless he wants to.”
“And I don’t,” Lucas chimes in. “You and your mum are family to me.” Glancing to me, he tells Gav, “Which is why I’ve asked your mum to marry me.” He quickly dips his gaze back to Gavin and insists, “But you are our priority. If you’re not comfortable with it, we’ll table the idea.”
Gavin’s eyes have been wide since Lucas uttered the M word. “But you have to be in love to get married,” he utters almost as a question as his eyes dart between me and Lucas.
Before I can answer, Lucas admits, “I love you and your mum so much. Even if I don’t marry her, I’ll still love you. I’ve lived here with you both for so long because I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. I told her tonight now I felt, and I also told her about me having to leave. In the end, I’ll only stay if you want me to.”
As excited as Lucas is about this, I’m worried about Gavin and him possibly feeling as if all of this is on him. “While all of that is beautiful,” I say cautiously, “there is no pressure, Gav. It was merely something we were discussing today and wanted your opinion.”
“Do you love him?” Gavin asks me. I nod and smile. “And if you get married, he’ll stay?”
I glance over to Lucas and his eyes are so full of love and light. My heart beats a little faster as I reply, “Yes, he’ll stay.”
Gavin’s voice pulls me from Lucas as he asks, “If you don’t get married, what happens?”
“I’ll have to go back to Australia,” Luc explains. My stomach drops at the thought. “I love your mum, and even if I didn’t have to leave, I would ask her to marry me.” He lets out a light chuckle. “Maybe not so soon, but I can’t imagine my life without the two of you in it. What do you say, mate? Are you up for it?”
Gavin wraps his arms around Luc’s middle and tells him quietly, “I don’t want you to go.” I hold back tears watching them. While they share no blood, the love between them is just as real, and maybe even stronger.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Lucas assures him, wrapping his arms tighter around my son. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here.”