These Wicked Desires (Fates #3)

1. Ellis

Ellis

“Spread your legs more,” Kai says, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. His gray eyes closely watch me and Cade.

“More? Pretty soon I’m going to be doing the splits,” I grumble, but comply.

“The wider your legs the more stable your base of support. With those wings, you need a bigger base of support for balance.” Kai tilts his head to the side, raising one pierced brow. He knows I already know this.

My hands fall to my sides, fists loosening. “Can we take a break?”

“We just started,” Cade says.

My head falls back and I groan. He’s right. We’ve only been outside for five minutes, but learning how to fight, how to move, with these godsforsaken wings is too much. For the past three days these stupid things have been ruining my life. I’ve knocked paintings off the walls, all the lamps are broken, Cade had to heal Kai’s broken nose from where one of my wings smacked him in the face, sleeping has been impossible. And forget about sex.

I just want to have sex again. The one time we tried was when I broke Kai’s nose. I haven’t had the energy or mind set to try again after that. Every time I do, I catch a flutter of white in my peripheral and instantly go into pissy mode.

I raise my head and grimace as some of my hair gets tangled in feathers. “Son of a bitch!” I yank my hair free and scream, stomping my foot like a child. It feels good. For a second. Then I just feel exhausted. Deep in my bones, the ache of needing a break causes my shoulders to slump, and I hang my head forward, taking deep breaths to try and calm myself.

Sterling steps in front of me. I know it's him by the scent. Pine and winter nights. He gently lifts my chin with his fingers, and I stare into those glacial blue eyes, my mate’s eyes. “Hey, let’s try something. I think you could use a break from those things.”

I snort. “You think? I’ve tried Sterling. I can’t make them go away.” I know I’m whining, but seriously, I just want to catch my breath. I want a moment of normalcy. No wings, no threats, no drama. Just me and my guys.

“I’ve been thinking,” Sterling says, ignoring my petulance. “You have Kai’s supernatural abilities and Cade’s magic. What if the wings are part of my shifting ability?”

I blink. “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

“Maybe I can help walk you through shifting to make them go away.” His thumb rubs my cheek and I lean into the gesture. I’ll never get sick of his affection after going so long without it.

“Okay, let’s try it.” I nod and take a deep breath as he walks around behind me. I try to not get my hopes up. I know if I do and this fails—which it’s likely to—I’ll just be even more overwhelmed and ready to give up.

“Close your eyes and try to empty your mind.” His voice is gentle and soothing, and I let it flow over me. His presence behind me, safety and comfort, eases the tension in my muscles. The heat from his body soaks into my back, and I have to refrain from leaning against him. “Remember what it’s like to not have wings.” His finger trails between my shoulder blades, right where the wings sprout from my spine. It’s hard to imagine that when little shivers overcome me at his touch. It’s so sensitive. “Remember what it’s like to lay in bed on your back with nothing in the way. Remember being able to turn around without knocking something over.” There is definitely laughter hidden in his voice, and I’m tempted to turn around just to knock him over. “Now feel your wings. Feel their presence behind you.” This time his finger brushes through the downy soft feathers near my spine, and I can’t control the flutter in my stomach. I need to get laid so badly. “Now, imagine shedding them like a second skin. Picture them falling away.”

In my mind, I see my wings shivering, the feathers fluttering wildly. Then, as if a blanket covers them, they disappear. Hands run down my back. My back devoid of wings.

My eyes snap open. “Did it work?” I’m barely breathing, scared it’s just my imagination making me think the wings are gone.

In response, Sterling wraps his arms around me from behind and presses a kiss to my mating mark. “It did. Good job, kitten.” Pride rings in his voice, and I arch my back against him at the praise.

“Thank you!” I squeal and turn around, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” My words are muffled, buried in his naked chest. Always freaking naked.

Kai grunts, and I turn around to see him push off the wall. “I think I miss them already,” he says.

“Well, too bad. I need a break.” I shimmy and twist, enjoying the freedom of no wings dragging behind me.

“I think to get them back, you’d just repeat that process. That’s what I do with my wolf, at least.”

“I’ll try that later. Much later.” I don’t plan on bringing those babies back out for a while. I glance at Cade. He’s been quiet through this entire thing, and now he’s watching me with a furrowed brow. “What’s wrong?” I ask, stepping up to him.

He frames my face in his hands, brushing back loose curls. “I know there is so much we need to do, and so much we have to worry about, but I think we need to take a step back and just do something fun.”

I can’t help the little spark that lights up inside me. “Really?”

“I’m worried about you. You’ve been through so much, Ellis, and you haven’t had a chance to just … live. Between Sam, and finding out you’re a harpy, and Sterling’s capture. It’s a lot for one person to deal with.” His hands travel down to squeeze my upper arms. “There’s so much pressure and stress on you. So much on your mind. We need to remember we can’t keep pushing you harder and harder without giving you some time to decompress.”

I know Cade isn’t an empath, but sometimes I swear he reads me better than Kai does. And even though his words are true and I desperately need some time to unwind, I hesitate. What about my sister? What about Sam and his experiments? What about Cade’s and Sterling’s families? We can’t afford to take a break right now. Can we?

“I think that’s a great idea,” Kai says, stepping up next to Cade. “What about you Sterling?”

I glance behind me and find Sterling looking at me, indecision in his gaze. Of the three of them, he’s the most serious. The one who would say we have to stay focused. Besides me, he’s the only one who has experienced Sam first hand. He’s the one who saw my sister get tortured.

Sterling searches my face before sighing. “I can’t say no to you, Ellis.”

Excitement swoops through me at the prospect of doing something normal for a change. “So, what are we going to do?”

“I have an idea,” Cade says, slowly. “But it will take a few days to organize. In the meantime, we’ll keep working on fighting and magic lessons.”

I slump backward against Sterling and grumble. More lessons. More magic. More wings. I could cry.

Cade chuckles and leans forward to kiss me. “Soon, love. It will give you something to look forward to.”

Three days later I’m sitting on the couch in the cabin, enjoying the book about the witch with all of her men—which by the way, she has even more men now—when Cade enters the cabin, arms loaded down with bags. He and Kai had gone off to do something top secret, and they wouldn’t tell me what. Sterling kept his mouth shut all evening, only smiling at me when I asked what they were planning.

“What’s all of that?” I ask, setting my phone in my lap.

He grins at me. “A surprise for tonight.” The bags and boxes thump onto the kitchen table and he digs through them, pulling out a garment bag. He holds it up by the hanger and gives me a wink. “Go take a shower, get ready, and put this on. Meet us down here in two hours.”

“Cryptic,” I drawl, but snag the bag. It’s heavy, and a sneaking suspicion worms through me. His gaze burns into my back as I head upstairs, and I make sure to sway my hips a little extra just for him.

In the bedroom I hang the bag over the bathroom door. My fingers shake slightly as I gather the bottom and slowly lift it up, revealing red satin fabric. My breath catches as I remove the bag completely, unveiling a stunning evening gown.

Biting my lip, I dart into the bathroom and turn on the shower. This seems like the appropriate time to actually wash and fix my hair, so I spend the next hour doing that. The guys have made sure to buy things to make me comfortable here in the cabin. I haven’t really had the chance to leave and do any shopping, besides online shopping, because it’s not safe. The lavender shampoo isn’t something I’d typically use on my curls, but they tried. Same with the make-up. I forgo the concealer Kai bought that is two shades too light, and go with a dramatic eye.

When I’m finished with my hair and makeup, I return to the bedroom and stare at the dress. I wore plenty of evening gowns during my time as Thomas’s daughter. All of the stuffy parties and events he’d dragged me to, and then again on Sam’s arm as his girlfriend and fiancé. But none of them compare to the dress before me.

I let the towel drop to the floor and take the dress off the hanger. I realize it’s not one piece, but rather two. A skirt and bustier. Black lace forms the bustier top, with boning lining the sides and under the breasts. By the time I get the dang thing hooked, my breasts are sufficiently pushed up and on display. The pattern of the lace is thick, but a hint of nipple still peeks through, and I hope wherever we’re going it’s either really dark or private. It’s quite possibly the most revealing thing I’ve ever worn, and I love it.

The skirt is heavy. The red satin is full and thick, and the fabric glides over my freshly shaved legs making me shiver. It sits high on my waist, over the bustier, and a slit opens almost to my hip. Grinning wickedly, I toss the underwear I had planned to put on. I know where this evening is headed, so why bother with more clothing the guys will have to remove.

I walk to the full-length mirror, the skirts swishing with every step. I feel like a princess as I run my fingers over the smooth fabric. In the mirror I gasp. It’s been a long time since I actually looked at myself. I had gotten so used to seeing broken Ellis, this version of myself shocks me.

My amber eyes are practically glowing. There is no overwhelming despair in the depths of my irises. My skin is smooth and unblemished, aside from a few light freckles across my nose. No bruises, no cuts. No dark circles. I’ve been gaining back the weight I lost, and my cheeks are no longer sunken in. I look happy and healthy. For the first time in years, I look like myself. Powerful. Sexy. Confident.

I blink back the tears that burn the corners of my eyes and take a step back. The dress is stunning, and I look—and feel— incredibly sexy in it. I can’t wait for the guys to see me.

“Ellis, love, are you ready?” Cade hollers from downstairs.

I take one last glance in the mirror, fixing a curl that’s laying the wrong way, and head for the door. For some reason butterflies erupt in my stomach as I reach for the handle. This is as close to a real date as I’ve ever had. Growing up with Thomas, he always vetted my boyfriends and I always had a chaperone go on every date with me. Then there was Sam. I guess things started off normal enough, but those memories are tainted now. This will be the first time I’m with my guys, just the four of us, nothing to worry about, nothing to think about. I’m not even sure how to act in this situation.

Taking a deep breath I step through the door and make my way down the stairs, the heavy skirt trailing behind me. Half way down, I stop. All three of my guys are standing at the bottom of the steps, and I don’t know who to look at first.

Kai is dressed in black jeans with holes ripped in the knees, black boots, a black shirt, and his black leather jacket. As always, his hair lays in artfully messy waves across his forehead. My beautiful, dark vampire.

Cade is wearing a nice pair of jeans, white sneakers, and a gray long-sleeved Henley. His brown hair is styled to perfection, swept to the side away from his face. My sweet, adorable mage.

And Sterling. My mate. He’s wearing a pair of worn jeans, boots, and a black and red flannel shirt, unbuttoned over a white t-shirt. I barely refrain from making a comment at the fact he’s not naked for once. His silver hair has been brushed and it gleams as it lays over his shoulders.

My breath catches as I take in each of them. I am, by far, overdressed compared to them, but they look distinctly themselves. And I love it. I swallow as I take the final few steps down, and I notice their expressions. They range from straight up desire from Kai, to awe from Cade, to joy from Sterling. None of them say anything, and I suddenly have this fear I’ve done something wrong.

“Um, I didn’t have any shoes?” I nervously run my hands down my stomach and over the sides of my skirts, looking back and forth between them.

Kai starts and steps forward. He’s holding a pair of strappy black heels, and he kneels on the ground in front of me. I lift my skirts and raise my foot, noticing Kai’s gaze traveling the length of my leg, up and up to the top of the slit. His eyes are the darkest gray imaginable, and for a second, I get lost in them. Then he runs his hand down the back of my calf, and his touch draws me out of the hold he had on me.

He slips my foot into the first heel, making sure to let his fingers brush my skin at every opportunity. When he’s done, he places a soft kiss above my knee and stands. “You are so fucking beautiful,” he says, his voice rough.

I expect him to kiss me, but he doesn’t. Instead he backs away and heads for the front door, keys jingling in his hand. I blink, thrown off and left wanting. Where is my kiss?

Cade smirks. “Are you ready, love?”

“Where are we going?” I ask, taking his outstretched hand.

He leans in to whisper in my ear, “It’s a surprise.” His breath tickles my neck and I wait for him to kiss it, but again, he pulls away.

I bite my lip in agitation and look at Sterling. He’s grinning from ear to ear like he knows exactly what they’re doing and planned it from the beginning. Swallowing my frustration, I let Cade lead me outside into the warm night air. Kai’s already in the driver's seat of the hummer, and Sterling hops into the front with him.

“After you, love,” Cade says, holding the back door open for me.

I climb in, and get situated. Looking between my three guys, I wait for one of them to say something, but they don’t. Cade doesn’t even hold my hand as the car descends the mountain. What kind of new torture is this? I think I’d rather be training than sit so close to my guys and not touch them.

“A little hint would be nice. And seriously, why the fuck aren’t any of you touching me?”

“Patience, love. Patience,” Cade croons.