Thirteen Years (Finding Freedom #1)

Prologue

This isn’t it.

This isn’t the happily ever after that I always dreamed about.

Feeling something wet, my eyes swing down, widening at the red liquid oozing along my arm. Taking an unsteady breath, I shake my hand out, feeling it tingle. I had been clenching my right hand so tightly that my nails were embedded into the palm. Pain hadn’t even registered to my brain. Just the baser sensation, of something wet, had alerted my body that it was injured.

Fuck.

The test was digital. It couldn’t be wrong. What did the doctor in the Emergency Room say?

“The tests today are 99.9% accurate. We run the same tests you can pick up in the drug store. Save yourself some money and go get one of those.”

Thanks for the help, asshole.

Like I wasn’t already dealing with a man who thinks he knows better than me on a daily basis. Snapping out of it, I began pulling toilet paper off the roll, mindlessly wrapping it around the damning piece of plastic.

“You need to hide it, Becks,” I whisper shakily to myself. I couldn’t let him see it. It would just be another claim on me and a way for him to rule over me like he had the last two years.

My heart rate picked up and cold sweat started beading along my hairline.

This cannot be happening right now. This is not how I always pictured my life turning out.

I couldn’t go there right now. Shoving the excessive wad of toilet paper covering the pregnancy test into the waistband of my leggings and pulling my oversized shirt down over it, I took a deep breath. I would just tell him I needed to take the kitchen trash out. It was probably overflowing with his usual beer cans and junk food wrappers anyway.

Even if he watched me from the doorway he wouldn’t be able to see me toss in a small wad of paper along with the full trash bag. Would he? Why was he always watching me? How did I get into this situation?

I turned on the ice cold water and placed my hand under it to wash the blood away. I barely even recognized my reflection in the mirror. I had definitely never been this pale. My hair was hanging limp in its messy bun and the bags under my eyes were startling in the lighting.

You can do this, Becks. You used to be such a strong, confident, and independent woman.

“Sneaking a damn pregnancy test out of the apartment shouldn’t be too hard, bitch,” I said out loud to myself this time.

Opening the bathroom door and stepping into our small bedroom that had turned into my prison cell, I took another several deep breaths to collect myself. The door to the hallway creaked and I cringed, waiting for the sound of his footsteps. This needed to be done without him knowing. Walking down the short distance of the hallway, I peered over the couch to where he lay. My eyes trailed over him, my lip curing in disgust, and wondering how I ever thought I had been in love with him. How he had tricked me.

Shirtless, and in a pair of grungy basketball shorts, he hadn’t shaved or showered in days. It wasn’t the cute scruffy look of some men who may go one day without maintenance. This was the devil himself coming down off a bender, and he stunk worse than the overflowing trash in the next room. I counted my lucky stars and headed into the kitchen that rested right off the living area.

Fuck open floor plans.

Grabbing the trash and closing it quickly I tiptoed back into the living room and past the blaring television where he slept. My sore hand closed around the doorknob and opened it as I held my breath. Glancing over my shoulder, I watched his chest rise and fall as he slept. I said a silent prayer and stepped outside into the balmy summer night, not even bothering to shut the door behind me.

I sprinted across the apartment complex parking lot, and to the communal dumpster with my heart pounding in my chest. I was definitely going to end up vomiting, and it wasn’t due to morning sickness. Yanking the toilet paper covered test out of my waistband and tossing it into the dumpster, I quickly swung the trash bag in after it. For just a moment I finally felt like I could breathe.

I had done it!

Taking my time to walk back to the tiny, dank apartment, where I had damned my soul to die, I sighed. I could at least breathe now until I figured something out. Because now more than ever, I needed an escape plan. It wasn’t just my life on the line anymore.