This Blood that Bonds Us (This Blood that Binds Us #4)

5. Five

Five

Aaron

I wished I could’ve enjoyed it a little longer, but it was agony lying in bed with her all night. The first hour or two was fine, but the gnawing thirst came back with a vengeance. Like lead in my stomach, it pulled at my skin and brought me to my feet. The need to feed rolled around in my skull until I had to get the feeling to stop.

I couldn’t keep feeding every other day. We would never make it to our destination, and I would end up killing someone.

Drink. Kill. Drink. Kill.

The voice. The voice. The voice.

It was louder now. Always in my head. Was I going crazy? No. The queen’s blood was making me crazy.

My head was a tornado as we packed the car I’d gone out to steal early in the morning. I’d needed something physical to distract me. It had been tempting too, to go off on my own and wait for someone outside. There were so many unexpecting people around who went out at night to do things like smoke a cigarette . . .

Because of that, I spent most of my time out in the empty frozen wilderness. I felt like less of a danger sitting on a tree stump and watching the stars overhead.

I’d made it through the night without killing anyone, and that had to count for something. I just had to get in the car again and start driving. It would stop. It had to stop.

The sounds of the cars roared by. More people were getting out now that the blizzard was over. The snow crunched beneath every step I took, and I tried to focus on it while I organized the trunk of the car. It didn’t need organizing. It’s not like we had that much stuff. But I couldn’t get out of my head. Nothing brought my attention away from the emptiness in my stomach.

Maybe being with the queen is the only solution . . .

My heart jolted with fear at the thought. That’s exactly how She’d want me to feel.

Kimberly appeared beside me and maneuvered the last bag into the trunk of an old 4Runner. My chest ached with guilt. I should’ve been there to hold her. I should’ve been coming up with answers on how to find my brothers, but I needed blood and was about to be trapped in another car.

“Are you okay?”

“I . . .” I wanted to lie, but I promised not to. I’d have done anything to go back before I drank Akira’s blood, and everything in me felt ravenous. Her blood was poison.

What could I say? “I know you just changed and left everything you’ve ever known and you’re counting on me to protect you, but I feel like I’m going to murder someone in the next few seconds.”

I was at the crossroads to hell. Suddenly, all I could think about was what the queen’s blood would feel like in my veins and the want. The heat of it. The taste.

“Aaron.” Kimberly’s voice was stern, and without another word, she grabbed my arm and shoved me into the back seat of the SUV with her.

The car door slammed, and we sat with our knees touching in the back seat. We were close. Almost too close. I moved toward the door, and she stopped me with a hand on my leg.

“Tell me. Whatever it is. We can deal with it together.”

“I don’t know how.”

“Try.”

With my head spinning, I couldn’t gather the words. Blood. I needed blood.

“Aaron, you disappeared at 3 a.m., and you haven’t said a word. Where did you go? Besides to get the car.”

“The woods. I was in the woods.”

“Why?”

“Because . . . Because I . . .”

“I know a lot is going on right now—”

“I need to get out of the car.”

“No you don’t.” There was fire in her eyes. “We can fix this.”

“We can’t! There is something wrong with me. Hunting isn’t helping. I’m starting to wonder if it’s making it worse. I can’t think straight. Ever. I can’t do anything without thinking about blood.”

That was Akira’s plan, after all. To make us want Her. To make us so insane we’d have no other choice but to seek Her out.

“You want more . . .” she whispered, averting her eyes. “You want Her.”

The threat of her words stilled me. My sudden urge to bolt disappeared. She was jealous. There was no way I could let her think the queen had any hold on me. Even if She did, it was just blood. It was nothing compared to what I felt for Kimberly.

“Kim.” I grabbed her face with urgency. “No. You’re the only person I want. You don’t understand how badly I need you, and I don’t know how to even begin to tell you.”

Her cheeks flushed with warmth, making my mouth water.

“You are everything.” I looked into the cool blue of her eyes. “It’s just . . . I’m making everything worse. I don’t know how to fix this, and all I’m doing right now is holding you and Presley back from getting to where we need to go. Maybe we should split up. You both keep going and—”

“How could you say that?” I didn’t like the deep frown set on her face. I was worrying her. Hurting her more.

“But I’m ruining everything.”

“We don’t do things alone. You know that.”

“I know, but—”

“Hush. Let me think.” She grabbed my hand, probably to keep me from bolting.

I tried to train my attention on her. Her new black hair was pulled into a bun with pieces framing her face. I could tell she didn’t like it, but she was breathtaking no matter what color her hair was. She was still my Kimberly, and nothing would ever change that. Vampire or not. She couldn’t be more out of her element, yet she was navigating it gracefully in her baggy blue jeans and flannel. I moved my hand up to her cheek to pull her out of the thought spiral she was undoubtedly falling into. She’d try to fix this, and I wasn’t sure it could be.

She gasped as my fingers grazed her jaw.

“I have an idea.” She wrapped her fingers around my hand. “What if you . . . bit me?”

“Huh?”

“I know that sounds strange, and. . . I don’t have much to go on other than it’s really our only option to try. If human blood is making it worse, and if it’s really Her blood that you want. Her blood is technically in my veins now too.”

I shook my head, feeling sick all over again. “Barely, Kim. I’m not biting you.”

“And I’m not letting you run off and live in the woods like some feral animal. We have to try every possible solution.”

“It’s too dangerous.”

“Not really. Not anymore. I’m not human, Aaron. Your brothers literally battled in their own blood. I think I can donate to you and be just fine.”

I covered my face with my hands. What the hell was happening? There shouldn’t have been anything appealing about her proposition, yet her invitation made the hair on my arm stand up. I always wanted her, and now she was offering me her blood. Considering the night we’d met, I’d never let myself think about it for more than a few seconds because it was wrong, but I did think about it. Going into her room, crawling my way into her bed, and biting her everywhere she’d let me.

“Will it help?” I asked.

As much as I loved to torture myself, she was right. We had no other options, and I couldn’t imagine leaving the car without something to take the edge off the thirst boiling me alive. It was that or running into the woods until the blood lust turned me insane.

Her heart skipped. “I don’t know. It’s possible it could make it worse, but I don’t think so. My blood should be diluted enough. I think it’s our best option.”

“It can’t get worse.” My mouth watered as I tuned into the sound of her heartbeat.

She held up her wrist. My unnecessary breathing was already unsteady, and her skin was cool against mine. Everything in me was burning, aching, and ravenous.

She guided her other hand through my hair. “Let’s try.”

Everything in me shifted like a caged beast hitting the edge of its prison. “I don’t want to hurt you . . .”

The yearning knotted in my stomach as I moved a hand over her thigh to pull her closer. Maybe it would make it worse. Her blood was technically connected to the queen’s blood. I was in the middle of the most complicated blood system I knew almost nothing about, and nothing was helping. Nothing was okay. My brothers were gone and—

“You can’t hurt me. I’m not made of glass anymore.”

It all swirled together. Lust. Thirst. Want. Fear.

“What if it’s a bad idea and we can’t go back?”

“It will be okay. We’ll figure it out together.”

Her cheeks flushed, and she looked up at me through her lashes. Coy. Anticipating. Her chest heaved like a cornered animal’s, and I was overly aware of how it felt to trap her there with me. Nowhere to run. My fingers wrapped around her wrist, and I savored her pulse beneath my fingertips.

“You gotta stop looking at me like that.” It was a plea that came from deep within as I used one arm to pull her toward me till she was sitting on top of me. My fingertips dug into her thigh.

There was something so beautiful and right about how warm she was and how it felt to have her body interlocking with mine. I wanted to be closer. So much closer.

“Like what?” She blinked.

I used my finger to trace her jaw. “Like you want me to bite you.”

“I-I . . .” I grazed her inner thigh.

“Do you want me to bite you, Burns?”

She let me bring her wrist toward my lips with silent permission, and the world stilled. Her pulse. God, that sound.

My fangs slowly descended, and the venom coated my teeth. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

I savored the moment of surprise in her eyes when I let her wrist fall and threaded my fingers at the base of her neck. In a blink, my lips had found the rushing pulse at her neck, and I sank my teeth into her skin.

The taste of her blood was like ice water on a fire. Her human blood had fanned the inferno of longing of the thing inside my head, but this. This was like a cool breeze in the heat of summer. Different than the queen’s blood had been. That had only left me wanting. Her blood was poison, and once it was gone, it left the aftereffects of a bad hangover.

I wasn’t sure how long I drank. Seconds? Minutes? Long enough for all the muscles in my body to relax. It was better than everything else. It was . . . satiating.

When I pulled away and rested my forehead against hers, I stared into her eyes. A different kind of longing lingered. I needed her under me, clawing at my back, saying my name. There was still something wild breaking through, only now it was directed at her.

“How do you feel?” she asked, breaths uneven.

In one motion, I pulled her under me and spread her knees apart, pinning her beneath me until her hips dug into mine and the pressure hurt. She let out a soft, breathy cry, and I placed my hand over her heart to soothe her. Her breath deepened as I kissed her neck.

The scent of her skin was intoxicating.

“So good, Burns. You taste so good.” My lips lingered at her pulse hammering below her ear.

Her panting. Her skin. Everything. I needed everything. Nipping at her skin, I needed more. More. More. More

“I need more,” I demanded as I peeled off her flannel, savoring the catch in her breath. Then her bra came off too.

“Aaron.” There wasn’t any fear in her voice. Only longing for me as she clutched at my hips, drawing me closer.

She was so beautiful beneath me I couldn’t stand it. I bit her shoulder, then her arm. Not enough to break the skin, but I wanted to sink into her in every way possible and never let go. I couldn’t stop touching her. There were no thoughts left in my head. Presley would be down any minute, but I just didn’t care.

She deserved way more than our first time to be in the back of a dirty, cold—not to mention stolen—car, but the unquenchable need to give her more of me was consuming, and every stuttering breath and whimper started a frenzy I wasn’t sure I could stop.

Licking her neck was a mistake. I bit her, and she gasped as I sank into her again. Her fingers tightened in my hair. Every beat of her heart sent fresh flowing blood into my mouth. It was so good.

A crack sounded, and the window buckled under my hand. It brought me back into my own head, and panic rushed through me in one heated flush.

“It’s okay.” She held my face, stilling me. “You’re safe. I’m safe.”

“Are you okay?” Her blood was still fresh on my fingers as I surveyed her neck, but it was already closing.

She smiled with a blush on her cheeks. “More than okay. I’ll be even better if it actually worked. Do you feel better?”

“Yeah, I think so . . .”

I did feel better. The racing thoughts had stopped, and all I felt was her under me. Warm and perfect.

“I’m messing this up, aren’t I?”

“No, not at all. We’re just navigating this a day at a time.”

“I hate not feeling like myself.”

Now that I wasn’t thinking of blood, I was thinking of everything else. My brothers were gone, and I didn’t know how to find them. I was wasting so much time. My little brother was annoyed with me, and I didn’t know how to make it better. And . . . I’d bitten Kimberly.

“You look like you.” She ran her hands through my hair.

And Kimberly was freshly changed and doing everything on her own because I had been too busy walking around in the woods.

“This should be about you, and as usual, I’m making everything about me. Taking up everyone’s time . . .”

I just wanted to have normal vampire problems. Why did it have to be so hard for me?

“You can always take up my time.”

I smiled and went to pull her in for a kiss when I spotted my brother coming through the parking lot.

“Oh, shit. He’s coming.”

We made a mad dash to get Kimberly dressed, then crawled into the front seat.

The back door opened, then closed.

“Kim, your hair . . .”

She sucked in a breath, smoothing down the frizzy and out-of-place pieces.

“It looks so badass. Why didn’t you tell me you were going to dye it? I would have done mine too.”

She sighed. “I’m glad you like it. I’m not sure how I feel about it yet.”

“Don’t worry. It will grow on you. Style it a little and . . .”

There was brief silence.

“Uh, Kim, I think this is yours.” He held her bra up by the straps. “I specifically got another hotel so you guys could have alone time. Do you guys need me to go take a lap?” Presley was joking again, and even if it was annoying, I was happy to hear it.

“No.” I smiled, putting the car in drive. “Do you have everything you need?”

They both nodded.

“Hey, why is there a crack in my window? Never mind, I don’t want to know.”