This Blood that Bonds Us (This Blood that Binds Us #4)

46. Forty-Six

Forty-Six

Aaron

The eclipse was coming, and things were changing again, but some things never changed, like Mom sitting on the porch sipping her coffee. It was the only time she’d ever looked relaxed back in Brooklyn.

When I was home for the evenings, I made sure to spend my mom’s last hour awake with her. Sometimes, it was hanging out and watching TV or her watching me play the only video game we had available—a Nintendo Wii given to her by a friend—but at night when it wasn’t too windy, she’d light a fire in the furnace on the porch and we’d swing together. Sometimes, it was all three of us and sometimes, just us two, but on this night, it was just Mom and me sitting in the silence.

“You look tired,” she said, eyeing me while sipping her coffee. She moved a salt-and-pepper strand behind her ear and laid her head back to watch me.

I tried to soak it in and make up for all the time we’d lost, but time always slipped away from me in Alaska. The faster I tried to grab it, the faster it fled. The daylight was brief, and the moon was more of a companion than it had ever been.

I hated when the days went quickly, but I also knew it meant I was one day closer to seeing my brothers again.

“It was a long day. Things are progressing. I think we’re going to leave soon. Kilian says next month there’s a solar eclipse happening, and it means something important.”

We looked up at the sky. The moon sat between us like a lingering reminder of my brothers and their absence but also the thing that separated us. The queen and Her power lingered in the atmosphere.

“I know you’re working hard.” She took another sip, no longer looking at me.

It was hard to talk to her about it. Even though I told her most of what we did at Kilian’s, I never told her everything. Especially not the part where Kimberly foresaw my death. Even though I didn’t believe it, the last thing Mom needed was the additional fear that more of her sons wouldn’t return home.

Every minute, I understood more and more of how my older brothers felt, yet I also realized I would never fully understand the pain and the secrets they held. They’d shielded me from more than I’d ever know. The years they spent talking with Ezra and hanging around with The Family in the city, I’d probably never get those stories. Like I’d never know how it felt to know Sarah was missing and find out they’d been there for her murder, only to be accused of being the one to end her life. Some things would stay buried forever.

My fingers dug into the wood of the chair.

“We’ll get them back,” I said.

She smiled at that. “You really don’t see how much you’ve grown? I’m just so proud of you. Sometimes, I feel like I missed more than just a year of your life.”

I cringed thinking of the Aaron she once knew. The one who’d had his brothers do everything for him. The one whose hardest thing he’d ever experienced before Blackheart was high-school drama.

“I like this version of me better. He’s there for people who need him.”

“You’ve always been that person. You boys have amazed me with your love for each other. Even when you were younger, I realized I wasn’t always enough . . . you boys needed each other. You have a bond that I frankly don’t think I could understand if I tried.”

It didn’t surprise me. Mom was an only child.

“I’m thankful we’ve had you as our mom.”

She rubbed my hand and let out a sigh, signaling she had more to say, but she let it go into the brisk cold air. What more could we say that hadn’t already been said?

I knew it all. Everything was up in the air, and she wanted us to stay. As if someone else would magically go and save my brothers, but no one was coming to save our family. We needed to win. It was at the forefront of my mind every day, and every good moment there, was tainted with one thought. Losing isn’t an option.

There was a brief silence, and I used it to build my courage for the next thing I needed to say. It was easier to push forward than to look back at all my fear and uncertainty.

“Mom . . . I want to ask Kimberly to marry me. And I was wondering if you had a ring. Maybe one of grandma’s.”

I didn’t remember my grandma much, but I didn’t have to. I saw how much my mom loved her mother, and that was enough for me to love her just as much. She told me all the stories of how my grandmother had loved her until her last breath.

When she turned, her eyes were sparkling with tears.

“Oh, Mom. Don’t cry.”

“I’m not. I’m not. I’m just so happy for you.” She wiped a singular tear and beamed at me. “I was waiting for it, but you caught me off guard tonight.”

“You were waiting?”

“I knew when I first saw you two together . . .You stayed with her and waited to see how she felt about everything before you even let yourself feel anything . . . you were so calm. And I knew then you’d found someone you were serious about.” She grabbed my face and kissed my cheek. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

I waited. Was I excited? Absolutely. Giddy even. I couldn’t afford a ring, and Kimberly would rather have something I didn’t buy anyway. In the darkness far in the distance, a faint green glow illuminated the night sky.

The door opened again, and the porch creaked beneath Mom’s boots. In her hand laid a worn small velvet box.

“What do you think of this?”

Inside was a rose gold ring that appeared to be hand forged with little branch-like tendrils encasing a raw stone. It was different hues of blue and green with little bits of pink. I held it up to the faint northern lights in the sky and marveled at it in the porch light.

“It’s raw opal. This was your grandmother’s favorite ring. She didn’t like to wear it because it was so precious to her. I think it would make her smile to see someone else wear it. Do you think Kimberly will like it?”

I held the thin band in my hand. Not able to hide my excitement at the thought of all those daydreams becoming my reality. A few months ago, I was sure Kimberly would marry someone else. Now I was sure it would be me.

“She’ll love it,” I said.

Mom pulled me in for a hug that warmed me in the same way my brothers’ had. Of all the people I wanted to talk to about the moment, Zach and Luke were first on that list.

It was bittersweet, but it only made my resolve that much stronger. I stared up at the moon as I rested my head on her shoulder.

I would come for them very soon.