63. Sixty-Three
Sixty-Three
Aaron
Holy hell. I’d forgotten about the color green. Thick fields of green peppered with little dots of white passed by in the distance.
I was thankful for the information Kilian didn’t erase from my memory. The map of the castle was still there. I knew what to expect when the plane landed in Dublin, then we took another smaller plane to the far end of the island. It was all long rolling hills and farmhouses. We passed a town with colorful buildings and followed the road until the iron gate came into view.
Around it were trucks with their trailers filled with dirt and rock. There was a brief conversation with the man at the gate before the driver drove on. I caught a glimpse of a sign:
CLOSED – Attention Visitors and Residents: In order to maintain the island’s natural landscape, a coastal erosion control and land preservation project is underway.
All of a sudden, I really hated being alone.
My heartbeat thrummed in my ears as the car winded up the drive and a castle came into view. The gray of the stone matched the sky, and the only color, other than the hills, were the stained-glass windows.
“They know I’m coming, right?” I asked the driver as the door opened for me.
As soon as I said it, I saw him.
Zach strolled across the yard from a large set of burned hedges. His head hung low with a cropped haircut I didn’t recognize, but I’d know my brother anywhere.
“Zach.” His name caught in my throat.
I smiled. The relief ran over me in waves. He was alive. I’d made my way back to them. All those months of wondering and wishing were done.
He stopped in his tracks.
Our eyes met across the courtyard, and I swallowed. There was no way he knew I was coming because the anger in his eyes made me feel like I was five years old again. Oh, he’s so pissed .
He stalked toward me, and I had the strangest urge to run and hide. I was unbelievably happy to see my brother, but it didn’t matter because he was going to kick my ass.
The men around me bowed as he approached.
“Move,” he said, and they all scattered.
“Hi.”
He yanked the collar of my shirt and pulled me to walk with him. “Move your fuckin’ ass.”
“Miss me?”
“Don’t talk.”
He led me through a large set of doors already propped open and waiting, then down a few halls of ornate wallpaper and lit candles before shoving me into a room that looked to be a small office. And judging by the amount of dust, it wasn’t a room they used often.
I opened my mouth to speak, and Zach shoved me into the wall, the plaster cracked beneath.
“Ow.”
The pain ran up my spine, and the force drew the breath out of my lungs. When Zach shoved me, it was rarely that hard.
“Why the hell are you here?”
“I thought that was obvious. I came for you.”
He scoffed, his eyes boring a hole into me like he wanted to set me on fire. “I should kill you myself for being such a worthless little brother.”
I held my hands up while Zach’s fingers curled around the edges of my collared shirt, and he shoved me again. Pain ran up my spine, but I said nothing.
He continued, “I should have known you would fuck this up. I mean, what the fuck? How could you let Presley come here?”
“How is he?” I asked, a little too desperately.
“He’s fucking fine. No thanks to you!” He pressed his thumb into my arm until I cried out in pain. “He’s with Luke.”
Luke’s name sent a shiver up my spine. “Where are they? I want to see them.”
“I’m not done with you yet.”
“You going to torture me?”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
Zach lowered his brow into a deadpan expression, and he got inches from my face. My brother was serious. Kilian was right. That place was changing them, but nothing my brother would say could hurt me. I’d missed my annoying, hotheaded older brother. Even the rage I couldn’t stand, I loved as it was being directed at me. I’d missed it so much I wanted him to keep talking.
“Does it make you feel better?” I asked calmly.
“Does what make me feel better?”
“Using me as your punching bag.”
He grunted, pulling my shirt tighter.
“You can be mean to me all you want. It doesn’t change anything. I came here to save you.”
Something in his gaze shifted; his brow softened, and I was dropped to the floor.
“You really piss me off. You know that?”
“You’ve definitely told me that before, I’m pretty sure.”
He shook his head and stared out the window to a charred lawn. “You shouldn’t have come. And Pres, why the fuck is he here?”
There was a desperation in his voice, like he was pleading with me to give him a good solid answer beyond the one I had.
“He ran away. He came here for you . . . to be with you.”
“Fuck.” He rubbed his hands over his eyes and rested his head in his hands.
I’d seen him tired before, but not like this. The castle had been their reality for months. While I’d rested every night in safety with my head on a pillow, what had Zach and Luke done? I’d thought about it every day, but suddenly, I wanted to know even more. Something told me they weren’t allowed the same safety I had. The walls weren’t warm and inviting. Everything was cold like my brother’s expression when he turned to face me again.
“I’m sorry it took so long. But I’m here now and I’m not leaving without you.”
“No one ever leaves this place.”
This time I smiled. “You underestimate me.”
He shook his head. “Stay here. Do. Not. Leave.”
“Where am I going to go?”
“I know you. I swear if I come back and you’re gone—”
“I’ll stay.” I looked up at the tall ceilings of the library. “Seems cool in here anyway.”
Once he was gone, I moved quickly throughout the room, logging it into my memory.
The walls were white plaster, and at the far end had three glass windows that almost reached the ceilings. A chandelier with faux candles hung overhead.
I was alone in the castle, and I might not be again. I needed to use it to my advantage.
The books lining the shelves were old and worn, much like the books Kilian made us sort through. Only, this library was neater, dusty but well kept, and no books crowded the floor like the ones I’d had to dodge in Kilian’s office.
I was used to looking at old books. To the untrained eye, all the books were the same, but there were tells. Foiled lettering on the spine. Deckled edges. The most important books with texts Kilian found interesting were falling apart. Some of them were quickly scribbled notes with ink and bound like the world might crumble if the thoughts weren’t put to page in a matter of seconds.
I asked myself where I’d keep the most important books, first scaling the ladder to the second story, but most of those books were too caked with dust, left untouched and likely unimportant.
I sifted through the shelves on the lower end until one caught my eye on a bottom shelf, and the spine was black. No lettering but not a speck of dust. When I pulled it, I stopped to feel the etching in the bottom right of the leather.
Eros.
The pages were plenty worn, like they’d been turned many times over and over. It was a diary. I could tell by the dates barely visible at the top. No year listed. Just little symbols of the moon scrawled in ink on each page. I grabbed it and brought it by the light of the window. I imagined Eros jotting down his thoughts and gazing out a window at the moon.
I flipped the pages for anything useful. Like all of Kilian’s books, it was hard to read, but I landed on a page worn above all the others.
For in death, there is also life. To rid the world of the scourge would be to die encased in ice. But to die would be at the loss of My Love. But to gain My Love is to lose one’s lifeblood. My Love will persevere evermore. But my life’s blood will die in vain.
My heartbeat was in my ears. There was that word again. Lifeblood.
Darkness cleaves on every side. Bonds forged with blood must be put to rest.
The dagger. Where is the dagger?
The end was scrawled out with rips in the paper.
It wasn’t all poems. Some of it was confusing accounts of events that mentioned no names I understood. Times with Her, mostly in Her room, then a garden. He was angry about something. Sometimes he’s scribbled at the edge of the page, and he used a lot of exclamations.
Today, I care only of slicing through the heart of My Love.
Hatred taints my soul. She leaves me vacant.
My lifeblood is my only existence left.
Only the next day, it was different.
She called me long before life. She will call to me in death, and I will answer Her every time.
Born to be Her love, but not the lover. I am Her Guardian.
Footsteps were coming down the hall. I flipped in one desperate last attempt until I landed on one of the last entries.
During a New Moon:
Sirius, my lifeblood, remember us—
As the door opened, I’d already placed the book back on the shelf.
Luke entered. The weight of seeing him again almost brought me to the floor. I rushed to pull him into a hug. After imagining it so many times, I expected it to bring me relief, for all that pain I’d felt for months to melt away, but he didn’t hug back.
He held me by the shoulders to look at me. “Tell me right now. Why are you here?”
“Hi, brother!” Presley came in and shut the door behind him.
I was trying to take it all in at once. The style of Luke’s hair made him almost unrecognizable, along with the gaunt, colorless look of his skin. He wasn’t shiny anymore, and that was just Luke. Presley’s clothes had changed too. I knew who it reminded me of, and I was too afraid to think of his name.
“Pres.” He let me wrap him in a hug, but it was brief. “Tell me you’re okay.”
A little more than a day, but it was torture not knowing for sure.
“I’m great! Seriously, this place is awesome.”
There was something different about him too. Presley was normally fidgety, but he was pulling at the skin of his nails and shifting from one foot to the next.
“Wait. What happened to you?” I knew the answer.
“I went to a church and drank some blood. Lots of it.”
It took a beat for me to register it.
“You drank Her blood? When? How?”
“You haven’t?” Luke asked.
I ignored him. “Pres, answer me.”
“I had another clue.”
“They lured you.”
“No! They guided me. Akira knew that I would follow the notes. He was right. This whole time, they knew Kilian was trying to get in the way of our destiny. This is fate. She told me so. She said that we’re late. That we could have been happier a lot earlier, and She’d seen it so many times, but we never showed up when we were supposed to. We kept Her waiting, but it doesn’t matter now because we’re all going to be together.”
“Do you hear yourself?”
Presley nudged Luke. “He might need to be mind wiped. Kilian’s got his claws in deep.”
“Pres.” I huffed. It was naive of me not to consider the possibility of him having access to more of Her blood, but I hadn’t, and he was already so different. I let out a breath to calm the anxiety building in my chest.
“Don’t be mad,” Presley said.
“I’m not . . . I’m mad at myself.”
He shook his head. “You don’t get it. You couldn’t prevent this. It’s our destiny.”
“Both of you, be quiet. Answer Luke’s question.” Zach nudged me again.
“I just explained it.”
“Explain it again.” Luke pushed me too. There was a lot more pushing than I’d anticipated.
I knew what this looked like to them. Their little brother who didn’t understand what we were up against came with no plan. To them, I was still too young to understand anything, but that boy was long gone. I understood the darkness. Even if I hadn’t experienced all they’d witnessed, I could sense their protectiveness and see it in the fear in their eyes. They were afraid, but they didn’t have to protect me anymore. I had more than a half-baked Calem plan.
“He said he came for us,” Zach said.
Luke looked at me with a mixture of fear and anger swirling. He was calculating it in his head of a way to get us out of this, crafting another plan, but he had changed too. He looked like he’d had the flu for weeks. Thin in the cheeks, even though I wasn’t sure that was possible for us.
“You don’t have to protect me anymore. I’m here to save you. We’re going to leave together.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I do! It’s just like you’ve always said. We don’t give up. There’s always a way to turn things around. And now you don’t have to do it alone. I can help you now like I wasn’t able to before. We can fix this.”
“You were supposed to stay home and enjoy your life with Kimberly and Pres and Mom. Everything was fine until Presley and you showed up.”
Presley interjected. “Hey.”
“No talking,” Zach said.
“Liar,” I said. Bile built in my throat. Luke wasn’t a liar, and the fact he said the words led me to believe he thought it was true. “We felt your pain every day. You left, and everything got worse. We missed you so much. Like it or not, because we drank Akira’s blood, we could feel everything you felt. We were connected the whole time.”
Luke spoke to Zach with his twin telepathy. I’d missed how annoying it was.
Luke’s once warm irises were dark. “This is the prophecy coming true. It’s all true. Everything She said.”
I expected Zach to protest, but he, too, had that same look of fear.
What had happened to my brothers? I remembered Presley’s sobbing on the floor of Mom’s cabin and how badly he’d hurt. That pain came from Zach and Luke. I felt guilty for not shouldering the weight, but now I knew why. Because of the bond I had with Kimberly, we had an opening. “I was the opening. And you were the key.”
“We have to get out of here. Do it for our family. Do it for yourself. For Sarah.”
Luke flinched like I’d hit him, then looked at Zach. Zach’s harder exterior cracked for a moment and anguish flashed on his face.
“What?”
“Nothing. He . . . he doesn’t remember.”
“You don’t remember Sarah . . . How?”
“Long story,” Zach said, averting his eyes.
She’d taken his memory of Sarah. No wonder he was acting so strange. Something had happened. Something terrible.
Luke closed his eyes and shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. We aren’t going anywhere.”
“We can fix this. Kilian is coming, and there’s going to be a fight.”
“We know,” Zach growled.
“Teach me how to sound all scary like that,” Presley said.
Luke’s head shot up. “They’ll kill you for siding with him. You’re making this worse. Nothing is safe here. I can’t protect you from everything.”
“And I’m telling you, you don’t need to. All I need you to do is follow me. Believe in me.”
“I can’t,” Luke said through gritted teeth.
Okay, things weren’t going well, but Kilian had prepared me for that. Sure, I’d hoped they could be convinced with a simple conversation, but that was wishful thinking. It wouldn’t be that easy, but I had plenty of time to change their minds.
Presley watched me with a smirk. “Aaron, you don’t understand anything. You haven’t felt the bond with Her yet. You’re gonna flip. There’s nothing like it.”
“He’s right . . . you didn’t drink yet. You came on your own, which further proves that this was fate,” Luke said.
“No. I came because I wanted to get you so we could get out of here.”
“You’ve always been such a rule follower.” Presley snickered.
“Luke?” Zach set his jaw, awaiting Luke’s decision on something.
Luke looked down briefly at his hands, then nodded.
“Take him to Her. She’ll make him drink.”
“What?! Luke!?” I backed up, but Zach and Presley grabbed my arms.
“I know. It won’t force the bond, but it will make it easier for you to accept eventually. It will make this entire place easier for you to accept. And She’ll be merciful to you.”
“What are you talking about? I don’t want to accept it! We have to get out.”
“I know. I’m sorry, Aaron. But we can’t leave. It’s impossible. And you’re just going to get hurt trying. She’ll punish you and . . . it’s easier this way. I promise. I’ll make sure you and Presley don’t struggle like Zach and I did. I’m protecting you. I know it doesn’t feel that way—”
“No, it really doesn’t!”
They were already dragging me out of the door and into the hallway. I tried to grab the doorframe but three against one was unfair.
“This is for your own good. He’s right. I never feel sad here. It’s great.” Presley was remarkably stronger than I’d remembered.
Even if I could weasel away from his grip, there was nothing breaking Zach’s death grip on my arm.
“It doesn’t have to be this way.” I tried to get my footing, but it was useless.
“It really does. You won’t last five seconds here. We’re doing you a huge favor,” Zach said.
“You’ll love Her, Aaron. I’ll make sure everything goes smoothly. You won’t get hurt. It will be okay.” Luke looked back to me with somber eyes.
He was grasping at straws and actually believed he was doing the right thing. I had to keep calm. Even if I drank Her blood, nothing would happen. We expected this. It was all part of the plan.
I felt sick to my stomach, and not just because I was being dragged by my brothers to a demon queen. That wasn’t nearly as terrifying as knowing my older brothers had been so traumatized by what had happened they couldn’t imagine a better future. I let it fuel me. I would have to lie convincingly.
“I’m sorry, Aaron.” Luke swallowed and looked away. “This place will break you. I won’t let that happen.”
“It’s okay, Luke.”
I was going to convince my brothers to fight even if it was the last thing I’d ever do.