Chapter 21
CHAPTER 21
KAREN
I collapsed on the bed. The sleepless night and then the wild morning had left me spent. I closed my eyes, and it was Cassidy’s face I saw behind my eyelids.
I was back in the barn, only this time it wasn’t morning, and we weren’t rushing to help an injured animal or boy. There was a mystical quality about the barn. It was cozy and warm without the smell of horse.
Cassidy reached for me, pulling me against his body. His hands were warm against my skin, sliding my shirt over my head with an ease that felt very familiar. His fingers traced a devastating path down my spine, sending shivers cascading through me. And then his lips were on mine. I tasted the unmistakable flavor of whiskey. I smelled his aftershave that was uniquely him.
“Karen,” he whispered into the crook of my neck as he unclasped my bra. His callused hands were gentle as he slid one over my breast. His mouth was hot on my skin, trailing a line of fiery kisses down my stomach. The heat from his touch seared through me.
He pushed me backward onto the pile of hay. I ignored the pokey feeling against my back. He kissed down my stomach. His tongue swirled around my navel while his hand stretched up and massaged my breasts.
He moved slowly, unbuttoning my jeans and sliding them off along with my panties, leaving me bare in front of him. The hay felt like lying on a cloud. He pulled off his shirt, revealing his sculpted chest. He was magnificent. An absolute sight to behold. I couldn’t stop staring at him.
He joined me on the hay pile, his body hovering over mine. His rough hands explored every inch of me, then slipped between my legs.
My back arched as his fingers slid over my sensitive core. Lips and teeth danced along my collarbone, sending shivers down my spine.
He ran his fingertip over my clit, making slow circles before dipping it inside me. I moaned, gasping for air. I was already wet, hot, and ready for him.
“Cassidy,” I breathed out.
“I got you, baby,” he said against my ear.
His fingers pushed inside me with the pad of his thumb rubbing my clit.
My head was swimming. I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t breathe. All I could focus on was the feel of his fingers inside me, teasing me closer and closer to the edge.
“Oh, God,” I moaned. “Fuck me. Please.”
His lips moved back to my ear. “You like that?”
I groaned. “Yes. Please.”
“Not yet.” His voice was gruff as he worked his fingers in and out of me.
“I can’t take it anymore,” I whined.
“You’re so hot and wet for me, baby.” He slid a second finger inside me, and that was it. My climax was barreling toward me like a freight train. My entire body tensed as the orgasm crashed over me in waves. A deep-throated moan escaped my lips.
Cassidy’s fingers didn’t let up. I felt another orgasm building inside me. “Oh, God, Cassidy, don’t stop.”
He chuckled against my ear. “You like that?”
“Yes,” I panted out between moans.
He picked up the pace, curling his fingers inside me in just the right spot. It sent me careening over the edge again. My toes curled into the hay beneath me as I rode out the aftershocks of my orgasm.
He quickly climbed over me. He was sheathed and sliding into me in a flash.
“God, you feel so good,” he groaned.
He filled me to the hilt with one hard thrust. Cassidy’s hands gripped my hips, keeping me in place as he pumped into me. He kissed me passionately, his tongue plunging into my mouth mimicking his cock sliding in and out of me.
I could feel another climax coming. “Don’t stop,” I begged. “I’m so close.”
He pounded into me. The more he pounded, the further the orgasm got away from me. I bucked my hips, taking him deeper. I was so close, but the orgasm just refused to come.
I woke up in a sweat, tangled in the sheets, heart racing like I’d just run a marathon.
“Shit.”
It was just a dream. A damn good one. It had been too vivid, too real to be just a dream. My whole body felt like it was still wrapped up in the fantasy.
God. Why did my brain do this to me?
I pressed my hands to my face, trying to cool the flush in my cheeks. The dream started out so innocent—just a casual summer drive down a never-ending backroad. I could practically feel the sun on my skin, the wind in my hair, and the freedom of not having anywhere to be. It had just been me and an endless road. Then Cassidy had shown up, sitting in the driver’s seat like it was the most natural thing in the world and I was riding shotgun. We didn’t speak, just hanging out like we had been taking these long drives all of our lives.
And then things had taken a turn. Suddenly, we weren’t just driving. We were back in the barn on the bed of hay.
I sat up with a groan, burying my face in my hands. What is wrong with me?
The thing with Cassidy was supposed to be a momentary lapse in judgment. Sure, he was hot in that rugged, brooding way. But I didn’t come to the ranch for this. I didn’t come to catch feelings for a moody cowboy with more issues than I could count. Yet, here I was, sweating through my thin nightie after an afternoon nap because my subconscious decided to make him the star of my most inappropriate dream to date.
“Get a grip, Karen,” I muttered to myself, rolling out of bed and padding across the room to the window. I pushed the curtains aside, my eyes automatically drifting toward the bunkhouse in the distance. Cassidy was most likely showering off the dirt and sweat from the day’s work. My stomach did a little flip at the thought of him standing under the water, steam rising around him, muscles tense, and… Nope. Stop that right now.
I pressed my forehead against the cool glass and closed my eyes. The real problem wasn’t the dream. It was the fact that reality had been so much better. The quickie in the heat of the moment had been fast and furious. It had been intense and amazing. Yeah, things were a little awkward, but I liked that we didn’t have to talk about it.
I didn’t even know what I’d been thinking, chasing after him like that the way I did. But when I saw him, knuckles split open, anger radiating off him in waves, I couldn’t just leave him there. I really felt like he needed me.
Back when it was just me and the girls in the Big House, I felt needed. Then they all started getting boyfriends and husbands. No one needed me. Yes, I knew they loved me, but they had their own lives. I was adrift.
When I saw Cassidy lost in his own pain, it called to me. His pain was raw, open, and vulnerable. I could feel it like it was my own at that moment. Instead of his raw anger scaring me away, it had drawn me in. I wanted to save him from all of it.
I should have been scared when he was throwing punches at that two-by-four. But I wasn’t. I saw through the anger to the man beneath, the one who was trying so hard to keep it together for Carson’s sake. And that moment when his eyes met mine, when I felt him really see me, it was like a dam breaking.
That kiss? Oh, God, that kiss.
I’d melted into him, like I hadn’t been kissed in a thousand years. His touch wasn’t gentle, it was needy . Like he would burn to the ground without me. I had felt the same damn way.
I should’ve stopped there. I should’ve pulled away, taken a breath, and walked back to the lodge like a sensible person. But the feel of him against me, his rough hands sliding over my skin, had sent every rational thought out the window. Next thing I knew, we were doing way more than kissing, and I was too far gone to care.
Why did I have to go and catch feelings for Cassidy?
That was not part of the plan. The plan had been to come here, clear my head, figure out what I wanted in life, and then go back to Dallas with some new sense of direction. What wasn’t in the plan was falling into bed with a guy like Cassidy. A guy with a chip on his shoulder and anger issues as big as the ranch itself.
But despite all that, I wanted him.
I bit my lip, my eyes trailing back to the bunkhouse in the distance. What am I doing?
My curiosity about him should have been satisfied. The itch should’ve been scratched. It should have been enough to get him out of my system. But it wasn’t. If anything, I felt more tangled up in him than before.
I sighed and turned away from the window. Maybe this was just some sort of ranch fever, like cabin fever, but with more cowboy fantasies thrown into the mix. Maybe it was the isolation, the cold air, and the fact he was really the only eligible bachelor. I supposed Kenny was an option but that was a hard no.
Even as I tried to rationalize it, I knew it wasn’t that simple. Cassidy wasn’t just some brooding cowboy who happened to cross my path at the right time. He was more. There was something about him, something under the surface, that I couldn’t shake. I’d seen it in his eyes this morning, right before he kissed me. That flicker of vulnerability. The same vulnerability he tried so hard to hide behind his rough exterior.
Damn it.
I flopped back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to fall for the damaged cowboy with all his unresolved issues. And yet, here I was, lying in bed, replaying every single second of that kiss, every brush of his hands, every second of what it felt like to have him inside me.
I groaned, covering my face with my hands.
Cassidy wasn’t just some fantasy. He was real. I had no idea what to do next. I needed some clarity. But I had a feeling no matter how much distance and clarity I got, I was always going to come back to the same conclusion.
I was in deep.