Chapter 37
CHAPTER 37
KAREN
I gave them the grand tour, pointing out the chicken coop and the “mean girls.” After, we wound our way back to the barn. As expected, my friends were not thrilled with the horse smell. Part of me hoped to catch a glimpse of Cassidy but he was out in the pasture according to one of the other hands.
We walked back to the lodge and I was suddenly feeling the pressure. I didn’t know what to do with them. My days were spent working, not having fun. I never got the chance to be bored. Now that organizing the books and my chores were off my plate, I was at a loss for ideas.
“Do you guys want to check out the town?” I asked.
“Do you feel up to it?” Mary Ellen asked with concern.
“Absolutely. I haven’t done any real shopping yet. I’ve been to the grocery store and the party store, but that’s about it. Things have been so busy.”
“And you’ve been getting busy,” Rylee said with a grin.
Mary Ellen’s mouth fell open. “Rylee, stop.”
“It’s been mostly actual work,” I said, hating the flush in my cheeks.
Rylee held her hands up innocently. “I’m just saying, why waste time shopping when you can tumble in the hay with a cowboy? Quick question: did you do it horse style?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know what that means.”
Rylee grinned. “Well, that’s when you get a saddle involved and maybe a riding crop.”
“Let’s go,” Jenny said, not engaging with Rylee. “I rented a Tahoe, so we’ll have plenty of room.”
We piled into the SUV. I caught a glimpse of Cassidy out in the pasture with one of the other guys. Would he let me put a saddle on him? Or was I supposed to wear the saddle? Rylee hadn’t been clear on that.
As I watched the ranch slipping out of sight behind us, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt for leaving all my work to Uncle Don and Cassidy. I shook my head, reminding myself that it wasn’t actually my work. I wasn’t getting paid for it. I was just trying to be a team player.
Still, I couldn’t help but feel like I was shirking my duties.
Wind Ridge was the definition of small-town charm. The streets were lined with stores in old buildings that looked to be at least a hundred years old. There were a few restaurants and even a small movie theater. It might not have been the big city life my friends and I were used to, but it felt inviting in ways the city never did.
Jenny parked outside a little boutique that caught her eye. It was really about the only clothing store in the area. As soon as we entered the little shop, my friends scattered in all directions, each of them making a beeline for different corners of the store. Rylee was the first to reach the hat section, plucking a wide-brimmed cowboy hat off the wall and plopping it onto her head with a wink.
“How do I look, little ladies?” she asked, puffing out her chest and giving us her best cowgirl impression. “I’m ready to rope some steers and drink some beers.”
Jenny grabbed another hat from the wall, a tan one with a dark leather band around it. “How is it that you look like the Marlboro Man, and I look like I’m heading to a costume party?”
Rylee twirled around, striking a few over-the-top poses. “It’s all about confidence,” she teased. “I’m wearing this hat but your hat is wearing you .”
Lauren grabbed a black Stetson and pulled it low over her eyes, trying to look fierce but dissolving into giggles as soon as we all noticed her.
“Do I look like Karen’s cowboy?” she asked.
“He’s not my cowboy and Cassidy makes the cowboy hat look natural,” I said. “You look like you stole your daddy’s hat.”
Lauren plopped the Stetson onto my head. “Then show us how it’s done, cowgirl.”
I shot her a glare and adjusted the hat on my head. I turned to the full-length mirror by the dressing rooms. I had to admit, the hat did make me feel a little more like I belonged on the ranch. I gave them a nod and a tip of my brim, trying my best Cassidy impression.
Jenny laughed. “You look surprisingly good in that. I think the ranch is rubbing off on you.”
“Or Cassidy is rubbing on you,” Rylee said, waggling her brows.
“Oh, please,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“I’m just saying you chose well,” Rylee said with a shrug. “I know things have gotten complicated but you found a good guy to get complicated with.”
“Hey, I think I’m going to buy this hat,” Lauren said. “I like it. I want to see Jameson in it. And only the hat.”
I understood the appeal.
Jenny and Rylee selected their own hats as well. Mary Ellen went for something a little more her style. She fell in love with a delicate floral shawl. She picked up a pair of cuff links shaped like tiny cowboy boots which surprised all of us.
“I swear, Archer’s going to look at those things and roll his eyes,” Jenny teased, nudging her playfully.
Mary Ellen grinned. “He’ll wear them at least once. I mean, he’s like a cowboy. He just rides a motorcycle instead of a horse.”
“What about you?” Jenny asked me. “A cute pair of baby boots is one way to tell Cassidy.”
My stomach dropped at the idea. “No. This is not one of those cute little situations. He’s not going to want baby boots.”
“It might soften the blow,” Jenny said.
“Are you kidding?” I laughed nervously. “That would be like dropping a wrecking ball covered in cotton candy. It’s still going to do damage. Boots are not going to soften the blow.”
“If Cassidy gets mad about the baby, what will you do? Do you have a plan?” Rylee asked. “I can help you hide the body.”
“Thank you, you’re a good friend but we’re not killing anyone.” I sighed and shook my head slowly. “As for telling him, I don’t know what I’m doing yet. I don’t want to think about that right now. I’m going to buy that sweater.”
“Denial is one way to approach the situation,” Rylee said.
“Yes it is,” I retorted. “And it’s the best I can do right now.”
We took our bags to the SUV and made our way to a café next door to the boutique. They sat us at a table by the window. The scent of fresh coffee and baked bread surrounded us. It was a smell the baby seemed to appreciate. It seemed like every other smell nauseated me but not the yeasty dough smell.
A server brought us menus. I scanned the options and decided to keep things light. I didn’t want to ruin the day by puking my brains out. Chicken noodle soup was the biggest risk I was willing to take.
“How is the tummy holding up?” Mary Ellen asked.
“Not bad today. It actually smells good in here.”
“So what’s on your mind?” Lauren asked. “I feel like you have a very specific worry right now, aside from the obvious.”
I groaned and shook my head. “Well, my situation might be a bit more complicated than I said.”
“You don’t know if Cassidy is the baby daddy?” Rylee asked.
I rolled my eyes. “No. Stop. I know he’s the father.”
“What is it?” Lauren asked.
“You guys met Ginny last night,” I said.
“I know she’s not the father,” Jenny said.
“No of course not,” I said.
Mary Ellen frowned. “The one with the broken leg.”
“Yes. She’s best friends with Cassidy. They’re like brother and sister. She knows about the baby. I have to tell him before the dance or she’s going to tell him.”
“She’s blackmailing you?” Rylee asked. “Does she want a second broken leg?”
“I don’t think it’s blackmailing,” I said, feeling a little defensive of Ginny. “No need to go after her.”
“I think we all agree you have to tell him,” Jenny said.
“But she shouldn’t be forced to do it on someone else’s timeline,” Rylee said. “It’s no one’s business but Karen’s.”
“I want to tell him,” I said. “But at the same time, I feel a little selfish because I want to go to that dance with him, just as we are now. As soon as I tell him, things will change. We can never go back to what we are right now.”
“Look, if that’s what you want, you’re not wrong for it,” Lauren said. “Just because you have a big truth to share doesn’t mean you’re obligated to do it on anyone’s schedule but your own. I agree with Rylee.”
“See,” Rylee said with a satisfied smile.
“But, Karen, Cassidy deserves to know,” Lauren said. “And maybe, just maybe, he’ll surprise you. Don’t assume you know what his reaction will be before you’ve even given him a chance to react.”
“I know. But I also know becoming a father is his worst nightmare. It makes sense. His parents let him down so horribly. I’m scared I’ll be forcing him into something he doesn’t want.”
“There’s a way to avoid a pregnancy,” Rylee said dryly.
“And we did use a condom. It was faulty.”
“So, what if Cassidy reacts badly?” Mary Ellen said. “We’re here for you. Ward, Jameson, Archer, and Simon are here for you. You’ve got family, Karen. Cassidy is going to be missing out if he chooses to be a little bitch about this.”
All of us looked at her with shocked expressions.
“Mary Ellen!” Lauren chided. “Language.”
She laughed. “I’ve been around bad influences.”
“Not us,” Jenny said. “We’re sweet and innocent.”
“Fuck yeah,” Rylee said.
Mary Ellen smiled. “But I mean it. You can’t make him be happy about the pregnancy. That’s his loss. But we got you, whatever happens.”
I smiled appreciating their support. “I know, but soon, you’ll all be parents yourselves, and I’ll just be the odd one out. You guys all did it right. I’m the one that’s going to be a single mom.”
“That’s not your fault,” Lauren said. “You didn’t cause the condom to fail. Things happen. You can’t control everything.”
“Life isn’t some neatly organized checklist of accomplishments,” Rylee said. “Everyone has their own path. This might be yours.”
I rolled my eyes. “This is not my path.”
“None of us are guaranteed a smooth ride, not even with a ring on our finger,” Jenny said.
Our meals were delivered a second later. I looked at Lauren’s salad and Rylee’s greasy burger. My soup suddenly looked very lame.
“Do you want some fries or something?” Lauren asked. “You look like you’re starving.”
I thought about it, but suddenly my soup, however lame it seemed next to Lauren’s salad or Rylee’s burger, was all I could stomach.
“Tempting,” I said. “But I don’t think I want to risk it. This morning sickness is no joke. I can’t believe how powerful it is.”
“Some women never experience it,” Rylee said.
I wrinkled my nose. “Those women can kindly go fuck themselves.”
They all laughed.
“No offense,” Lauren said. “But you look terrible.”
“Thanks, Lauren. I feel terrible.”
“Moodiness is also a common symptom,” Mary Ellen pointed out helpfully.
“Fantastic. So, I’m nauseated, moody, and alone. Can this get any better?”
“You’re not alone, Karen,” Jenny said firmly. “You’ve got us.”
I smiled weakly. “Thank you, guys.”
I took a tentative taste of the soup, actually hoping it wasn’t flavorful. Wish granted. It was fairly bland, which was a good thing in this situation.
“What do you normally do all day?” Mary Ellen asked.
“Well, before, I was only working on the books. Then Ginny broke her ankle and I kind of volunteered to help out. It was a lot of work, but it was kind of fun. I never knew I liked horses but I do.”
“Maybe you were born to be a cowgirl and never knew it,” Rylee teased.
“Yeah, I’m not going to go that far. It was a change from the boring day to day sitting in an office. I guess that’s why I came out here. I wanted to switch things up.”
Mary Ellen burst into laughter. “Well, you certainly did that.”
“Yeah.” I chuckled, the sound more bitter than I intended. “Switched it up and flipped it all upside down.”
“If you’re going to do something, do it big,” Rylee said. “That’s my girl.”
“I think a baby is big enough,” I said.
Just then, someone appeared at the side of our table. I glanced up, nearly groaning when I saw who it was. Earl Hoyt stood there, dressed in a gray suit with a crooked smile plastered across his face. He lowered his aviator sunglasses and gave us a onceover.
“Well, well, well. What’s a good-looking group of ladies like you doing in a place like this?”
He was aiming for suave, but it landed somewhere between cheesy and downright creepy. Why did it feel like the man was always everywhere? He was worse than a bad penny.
Suddenly, I had lost my appetite completely.