This Is Love (Evermore University #2)

25. Logan

25

LOGAN

My heart slams around in my chest as I hold completely still. Motherfucking fuck. Jaxon and I are really doing this. Mere minutes ago, I would have said I sure as hell wanted to bury myself deep inside his body, but I didn’t have a clue tonight was the night it was actually going to happen.

The look in his eyes is a mixture of shock and wonder… and outright rapture. His cheeks are flushed pink, and his full lips are gently parted. Each breath he takes has his chest heaving. There’s something so fucking hot about seeing that wash of color on a guy’s face, especially when it’s someone like Jaxon, who I never would have thought in a million years would be with me in this way. That heady pink speaks to the vulnerability of this moment and the trust he’s showing he has in me. Fuck, I’m not even sure if he’s aware of all that, but it means something to me. It’s nothing I ever thought I’d have, and it’s so fucking sexy that he’s allowing me to see him like this.

The carefully constructed barricade he’s built to keep me out is crumbling around this bed. To be fair, it’d been showing cracks for weeks now. It did its job almost too well, keeping me far away from him for far too long. And because of it, I didn’t have a clue what my stepbrother was really like… much less that I could ever fucking care for the person who antagonized me at every turn.

Somehow, I manage to unlock my jaw long enough to rasp, “You okay?” I wait several seconds while sweat pops out on my back. My brain buzzes as his ass intermittently clenches the head of my cock. Dear sweet Jesus, all I want to do is plunge my dick farther inside him, but he needs a moment. I can tell. I slide my hands over the backs of his thighs, then prompt him for an answer with a gentle squeeze as I murmur his name. “Jax.”

He blinks. Deep, dark eyes focus on me. His voice is raw when he grits out, “I’m really fucking good. More.”

I take him at his word, though I still move slowly. Pushing forward, my dick sinks inside him, inch by inch. “Goddamn,” I groan, breath sputtering unevenly from my lips. I watch every nuance of his expression but see nothing more than heat and the same desperate need to experience this with me as I feel within myself. His hands clutch at the sheets on either side of him as I draw back before sliding into his body again, testing him.

“Fuck. Oh my god,” he heaves out, then as I begin to repeat the motion, pulling almost all the way out, he grabs hold of my hips and pulls me roughly to him. “Fuuuck,” he practically whimpers as my cock fills him. His eyes lock on mine, and I can’t quite tell whether he’s surprised the fuck out of himself or what, but it feels way too fucking good to be balls deep inside him.

“Your ass. So good.” I can hardly manage to speak; my throat has gone so completely dry. We stare at each other, this undeniable need flowing between us. It shouldn’t be, yet it’s there.

His lips twitch, and he huffs out, “Guess we’re going to have to see about getting you a T-shirt like mine.” Chest jerking with a laugh, he covers part of his face with one hand.

It takes me a second to remember what he’s even referring to, but when it hits me, I can’t help the laugh that rolls off my lips. That night after Rya puked while he was taking care of her, he’d let her borrow his Balls Deep. We don’t stop at third base shirt .

I grunt, easing back before I give him every inch of me. “Balls deep, indeed.” I thrust again. “Sure as fuck”—I heave out a breath as I plunge back into him—“didn’t stop at third base tonight.”

Jaxon, who’d been all laughs a few seconds ago, is clearly about to lose it. “Fucking hell,” he bites out, throwing his head back. “Fuck you and your fat cock.” His lip might be trembling, but his dark eyes blaze with molten heat. “Come on, then. Fuck me.”

And from there, it’s on, his demand gets inside my head, and all I can do is deliver, fucking him like a man possessed. Which… maybe I am. I feel the need to be with him in every way I can. I look down at where our bodies are joined, unable to stop watching his greedy ass take my cock. It’s mesmerizing, watching it disappear over and over again. “You take my dick so fucking good.”

He grunts in answer, a dazed expression on his face. Shifting, I move forward so I can taste his skin, collecting the salty, masculine flavor of him on my tongue. I make my way up his torso, teasing him as I put my mouth on every dip and ridge of muscle. His nipples stand at attention, and he grips my shoulders as I suck one into my mouth, playing with the taut peak. “Oh my fuck,” he moans out, grasping at the back of my head with both hands, and holds me to his chest.

I nip at him once more before settling fully on top of him. And oh my fucking god, when he uses his legs to pull me into him it makes my brain short-circuit. We writhe together, his dick trapped between us. My head is so fucking hazy with sight and taste and touch, I can’t concentrate on a damn thing but how good it feels to be with him like this.

We paw at each other, touching each other everywhere as we kiss, dirty and wild. Every breathy moan, the slap of skin on skin, the way we are together—it’s almost too much for me to wrap my head around. The feel of him surrounding me sends me to another place, ignites a fire inside me. And it’s not just the act itself. It’s him. I don’t know when I went from wishing he’d just fucking leave me alone to wishing for him.

The war between us… it’s over. But he and I? We’ve only just begun.

On a choked gasp, my movements slow. I’m getting close. I disentangle myself, pushing back up to kneeling. Taking his cock in my hand, I jerk him as I slowly fuck him. His eyes flick from his dick to mine before seeking out my gaze.

“Fuuuck. You’re gonna make me?—”

“Come? Yeah.” The look I shoot him is full of fire. Need. Want. “I’m going to pump your ass full of my cum at the same time I make you unload all over yourself.” I wet my lip. “And when I’m all done, you’ll be begging me to do it again.”

“Fucking dirty talking, cocky asshole in bed.”

I smirk. “Yeah. You fucking love it.” I increase my speed, and Jaxon can’t even respond. He pants, his breath labored as his legs shake and his stomach trembles. And then, the orgasm knocks him sideways, thick jets of cum spurting from his dick, painting him from abs to just under his goddamn chin.

“Logan,” he gasps out. The astonishment on his face is priceless.

“I love the sound of my name falling from your lips.” I lean forward, bracing myself over him. Pausing for only the briefest of moments, I dip my head to his chest, then swipe a meandering path over his skin with my tongue. I lift my head, smirking at him as I stare into his eyes at close range. Fucker doesn’t look away, not even once as I continue to pound into his body, seeking my release. No. Instead, he grasps me by my neck and yanks me down on top of him, his jizz between us a slick, fucking amazing mess. I groan because I can’t handle holding back another second, then gather him close before desperately licking into his mouth, needing us to be connected in every way.

He lets loose a feral noise as he tastes himself on me, his tongue plunging into my mouth. Rubbing it against mine, he writhes under me.

“Good fucking boy,” I growl as I hit the point of no return. I desperately snap my hips against his ass cheeks, then slowly rock as I begin to explode inside him. Fuck . Oh my sweet fucking god. On a raspy exhale, I collapse on top of him, letting him feel the full weight of me.

It takes several minutes before our breathing regulates. I like feeling his chest rise and fall. Like burrowing my face against his neck. I like everything we just did so much I am half afraid to get up and look him in the eye. There’s no reason for me to think he doesn’t want this, except maybe he conditioned me to be on edge with him. It might take a little while to get used to this Jaxon—the one who actually wants something to do with me instead of nothing, which is what I was to him for so damn long.

“What are you thinking about?” He shifts, almost as if he’s trying to peer down into my face and get some insight as to what’s in my head.

I angle even more toward his neck and mumble, “Whaddaya mean?”

His fingertips drift down my back from the top of my spine to just above my ass before making the return trip. Repeat. Finally, he murmurs, “You got all tense for a minute.”

Exhaling hard, I lift my head from his chest, then slowly push up to where I can ease my softening cock from his body. “It’s nothing. I’m gonna shower.” I climb from the bed, only looking at him from the corner of my eye. He’s fucking magnificent lying there, all long limbs and toned muscle. Fuck . His darkly fringed eyes observe me as I move across the room. I drag in a breath, knowing he’s watching me, even though my back is to him.

In the bathroom, I turn on the water, testing the temperature, then get in, immediately turning my face upward into the spray of the waterfall showerhead. After holding my breath for several seconds, I finally let it go, reaching for the wall of the shower in front of me.

“Joining you.” Jaxon’s voice is rough, his presence catching me by surprise. I didn’t hear him come into the room.

I nod, incapable of speaking. My chest burns with everything that’s plaguing me.

“Hey. Turn the fuck around, would you?” comes his gritted demand.

Wetting my lips, I do, facing him while the water beats down on both of us. I study the rivulets one by one as they track down his face, over high cheekbones and dripping from his strong jaw. I stare at his chin but can tell his arms are moving. His palms meet my chest, sliding upward until his fingers hook over my shoulders, thumbs drifting to the sides of my neck. He tugs me closer, his mouth meeting mine in a fierce kiss that has my heart thudding harder in my chest with every second it continues. With each swipe of his tongue—every rub of it against mine, every lick, every taste—my body relaxes a fraction, until my arms wrap around him, and I’m finally able to push aside my earlier panic and fully give in to how he makes me feel.

After several minutes, he tears his mouth from mine, and we stare at each other as water cascades over us. “Tell me what that was about. Right the fuck now.”

“I freaked out.”

He gives me a confused look. “What the fuck did you have to freak out about? Last I checked, it was me who was getting dicked down. And you’re the one comfortable in your skin. It’s me who never thought I’d be into exploring any of this.” He leans in, taking my lower lip between his teeth before sucking on it and letting it go with a wet pop. “But here we are. And that was definitely something we’ll be doing again. Unless you’re telling me you don’t want to.”

I blink water from my eyes, trying to find an inoffensive way to say what I need to. Lifting a hand, I cup his head, sliding my thumb over his cheekbone. “I think I got in my head. Almost like things were too good. And I got a little nervous that maybe you didn’t like what we did.”

“What gave you that impression? The way you had my entire body quaking? The moans I was making while you were inside me? Orrrr”—he tips his head to the side with raised brows—“fuck, was it the way I came so fucking hard with your hand on my dick that my eyes practically rolled back in my fucking head?”

I sputter, laughing as I look into his eyes. This is the Jaxon I’ve come to know these last few weeks. A sigh of relief bursts from me. “I think somewhere in my head, I felt like maybe I’d been imagining that we could possibly be getting along. That you could—” My breath hitches, the words get caught in my throat.

His eyes narrow. “I’ll be honest and say I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing and don’t know what exactly we are… but I don’t regret this.” He hesitates, searching my eyes. “Can’t regret you.” Glancing down for a second, he looks up at me with a cautious quirk to his lips.

I exhale hard at the meaning behind his words and lean in, brushing my mouth over his. For the first time, I feel like we might have a fighting chance.

“Are you asleep?” Jaxon breathes out, his voice low.

“No.”

“Can I ask you a question?” He rolls onto his side, facing me while propping himself up on his elbow.

I nod. “Yeah. Of course.” My brow furrows. His tone is strange, and it instantly has me paying attention. After a good thirty seconds of silence, I reach out, nudging his shoulder.

He exhales unsteadily. “Sorry. Um. Did you ever tell my dad when you found me?”

I rack my brain for what he’s referring to, but I’m not following. “What?”

Clearing his throat, he amends his initial question. “About that day you caught me in his office going through his safe.”

“Oh. That.” I find his eyes in the dark as they search mine. Shaking my head, I murmur, “No. I didn’t.”

“Why not?”

“I guess somewhere in the back of my head, I sorta knew why you were doing it.”

There’s a very obvious pause while he waits for me to elaborate, and when I don’t, he prods me for the information. “And what the hell did you think I was doing it for?”

I can make out one brow arching on his forehead, and I shrug. “Your mom. I didn’t think it was my business what went on with your mom and dad, but I got the sense things weren’t right. They had divorced, obviously, so there was that. But I dunno. I thought something was off. I don’t know what exactly gave me that impression. Whether it was just a gut feeling or something, I have no idea.”

“Well, you were right.”

“Jax, I didn’t want to stick my nose in your business.” I huff out a pained laugh. “You’d probably have bitten my head off if I had. But it doesn’t make sense to me that your mom is having financial difficulties. Eric must be paying alimony, right?”

“I wish I knew the specifics. I really do. Because she hardly gets anything. Asshole no doubt had one of his lawyer friends advise him on how to hide money so it wasn’t a factor in the divorce. We were able to make do for a while with what he sent for child support. But the second I was eighteen, that stopped, obviously.”

“And you’ve been trying to keep your heads above water ever since.”

“No.” Jaxon drags in an audible breath. “We’ve been drowning. Plain and simple. The money thing is bad enough, but Mom being devastated and drinking to hide from her pain is… nothing short of brutal. Then the alcohol fucks with diabetes. Some months, it’s all we can do to afford the treatment she needs. And because she’s not taking care of herself, she keeps landing in the hospital. We definitely don’t have the money for her to keep doing this.”

“It’s a vicious cycle.” I wince, feeling awful for the part my mother has unwittingly played in this. “I get it. And I’m so fucking sorry.”