Epilogue
EPILOGUE
RYA
I’m elated to be on stage again. It’s the final set of performances for the year, and earlier, we had a big ensemble I was involved in. Right now, though, it’s just me and the spotlight and my pointe shoes.
I never doubted that Millie would allow each of us who were affected by Hazel’s trip to Psychoville the chance to perform, I simply didn’t think it would fill me with such joy.
Drawing in a deep breath, I pirouette, jeté, chassé, and arabesque. It’s all muscle memory at this point. I thought when I was finally allowed to begin practicing that I wouldn’t want to dance this choreography ever again, but I was wrong. It’d called out to me, and I couldn’t help but slip right back into the gorgeousness that I’d first put together and auditioned with so many months ago.
Really, I need to follow through with it. Prove to myself that I was always worthy. That Millie chose me for a reason. So now, I’m back on stage, right where I was always meant to be, dancing with all my heart, and feeling so incredibly light.
I wonder, though, if Hazel hadn’t succeeded in sending me down the stairs that night how long she was planning to keep jabbing her jealousy at me. I’ll probably never know. She’s got so much trouble coming her way these days, it’s not even funny. There were a lot of witnesses to her crazy, and she hurt me in full view of a security camera. It caught everything.
I breathe steadily as I work my way through the final steps of the choreography, feeling the music as if it’s moving through my veins, dancing like my heart is soaring. Because it is. Thanks to the two guys in the audience who have shown me so much love and tenderness as I struggled to recover from the attack, not to mention while I sought out therapy for myself. I already had issues, but what Hazel put me through made them worse. That’s okay. Because I’m coming back, stronger than ever.
I strike my final pose, then wait as the spotlight shuts off for a moment before I straighten, standing in first position at the center of the stage. When the lights come up in the house, mild shock rolls through me. The entire audience is on its feet, the applause, deafening. I stare out into the crowd, my lips trembling as I fight back the tears that have sprung to my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I find Jaxon and Logan in their seats down front and give them a bright smile before dropping into a curtsy.
A few minutes later, we’re allowed to find our loved ones in the auditorium. My parents get to me first. Since that day in the hospital, they’ve admitted that maybe they were quick to judge. My mother gathers me close. “That was beautiful, Rya. Then again, you always are. The dancing was simply immaculate.”
“How’s the arm, baby girl?” my father asks gruffly as he pulls me to his chest for a hug of his own. “Doing okay?” He releases me, and I take a step back, nodding, still a little teary-eyed.
“Yes. I’m good. It felt good to be up there. I feel strong.”
His gaze shifts, and it’s then I realize Logan and Jaxon have joined us. He clears his throat. “Okay. Your mother and I have our weekly date to get to, so I’ll trust that the young men with the flowers are going to celebrate with you in an appropriate manner.”
And then he freaking winks at them. He puts an arm around my mother and leads her from the auditorium without another word.
“What the hell was that?” I whirl around, staring at them.
Jaxon shrugs. “We made it clear we’re not going anywhere.”
“He’s still worried about his little girl. But I think he understands now that we’re here because we love you.”
I wet my lips, smiling as I go up on pointe first to kiss Logan, then repeat the process with Jaxon. “Are these for me?”
Jaxon nods. “They are. But”—he exhales hard—“we have something else here, too.”
My eyes flick from him to Logan and back. I frown. “What’s going on?”
Logan shakes his head. “We will totally throw this in the trash if you want because if it’s going to ruin your night to have a look, we don’t want that.”
Apprehension flows through me. “What are we talking about?”
“Hazel. She sent you a note.” Jaxon grits his teeth when he sees my mouth drop open. “I know. That was our first reaction, too.”
“But you haven’t read it?”
“No.” Logan swiftly jerks his head. “We wanted your permission to have a look first.”
“And we do think we should do that because fucked if we’re letting her get at you again when we could have prevented it. But on the off chance that something she has to say could help you…”
“You think we should read it.” At their nods, I breathe carefully, trying to control the internal panic. “Okay. Open it, then. I’m trusting you to know what I can handle.”
Jaxon adds the bouquet of flowers Logan had been holding to the ones in his hand, then tugs me to him. “Go ahead, Logan.”
With swift movements, he opens the flap and peers inside, then pulls out a single sheet of paper. He glances at me for a second before he begins to scan through it. It only takes him a minute. Working his jaw to the side, he sucks in a breath. “I think it might help you to read this. At least you might have some understanding of what was in her head.”
“Does she seem sane?” Jaxon grits out, running his hand over my bicep where goose bumps have erupted all over my skin.
“Yeah. Sorta.” He shrugs, staring into my eyes. “But it’s okay if you tell me to throw it in the trash, too. It’s up to you.”
I wet my lips, my heart thrumming hard behind my rib cage. I hold out my hand.
Then read.
Rya,
I know you’ll probably never forgive me for what I’ve done to you. And that’s okay. I don’t deserve it. But I would like a chance to explain myself.
My grasp on reality hasn’t always been the best. I’ve been creating stories in my head all my life, scenarios where I got everything I ever wanted.
Then, at the beginning of college, I met you. And I met Logan.
I wanted him because he was the first guy who’d ever been nice to me. At the same time, I was jealous of the friendship the two of you had. In my head, I manufactured this elaborate story that he was mine. I didn’t care that you were close, even though it was clear to me that there was more to your relationship than either of you were willing to admit. You simply didn’t factor into the fantasy I was creating in my head.
There were times when I felt like shit about myself and tried to do the right thing, like offering to trade places with you at the frat party. But the funny thing with that is I knew Trip wouldn’t allow it. So, I knew I could safely make that offer without sacrificing what I really wanted, which was to keep Logan for myself.
Please understand that I was often confused and sometimes I did shit that made sense to me. Other times I struck out just because I could.
The trouble really began when I saw you dating Jaxon but getting closer and closer to Logan. You had them both.
I had nothing. I got confused. And I snapped.
I’m so sorry.
I understand now that Logan was never mine. He was always yours.
And I promise, I’m getting help.
You’re lucky to have both Logan and Jaxon, but more so, you deserve them. I understand why they’d both be in love with you. Because you’re really a good person. I wish you the best.
Hazel
When I’m done reading, for a moment all I can do is stand there, my body trembling.
“Damn. That’s… wow. I have no words.” Jaxon’s breath feathers over my ear as he speaks. “Rya? What do you think?”
Tears spring to my eyes, and a ragged exhale skitters from between my lips.
Logan takes my chin with his fingers, steering my face to his. “You okay? Did I make the wrong decision?”
I shake my head, meeting his worried gaze. “No,” I murmur. “I’m okay. I’m glad I read it, but I mostly just feel bad for her. But she’s right. I am incredibly lucky. I’ll admit, for a while there, I didn’t think so, with everything that was happening.” I angle my head to one side and take in Jaxon’s dark gaze, then swivel back to find Logan’s pale blues on mine. “With the two of you, I have more than I dreamed was possible… I have everything .”