This is Me Trying (Evergreen Ridge)

Chapter 23

Finn

A month ago, I would have never thought I’d be making life decisions based on others and not just myself. Yet, here I am, getting off the phone with the developer that I met with in Seattle to respectfully decline the job offer. It would have been a huge opportunity, but after what happened with Riley, I just don’t feel right taking it. I still don’t know what will happen with us, but she’s letting me into her world little by little, day by day, encounter by encounter, and this last encounter is burned into my brain like a house fire. I don’t know where life will lead me or us, but I want to have the flexibility to follow the road that leads to Riley. I don’t need the cash, so it’s a no brainer. She’s more important.

The bell over the door to the Pore Over has my mouth salivating like Pavlov’s dog. I’m exhausted from everything I’ve been processing lately. The brunch with my brother and that revelation. Also, figuring out whether to take that job. Mostly, my mind has been stuck on the afternoon in my apartment with Riley. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to step into my place again without the image of her in my mind, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Morning, Finn,” Chloe says, startling me out of my thoughts.

“Oh, hey, Chloe. How’s it going?”

“It’s going okay, you know, the usual.”

The circles under her eyes are darker than the last time I saw her, but I know better than to point something like that out to a woman. I wonder what’s going on with her to cause the haunted look in her eyes. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I could definitely use a vacation after this project is over.” Now she’s grinning at me like the Cheshire cat, and I have a feeling it means she’s about to bring up her sweet and sour best friend, but I don’t quite know what brought that on.

“A vacation, huh? Any chance it would be a vacation with my beautiful, wonderful, smart best friend?”

Ah, that’s where this is going. “Honestly, if I thought she would go on vacation with me, I would say screw the project and take her out of the country tomorrow.” Her eyes widen. Oh, crap, did that sound creepy? “Not in like a taken kind of way, in an I’m really into your best friend and would like to spend as much one-on-one time with her as she will let me kind of way.”

“I know, Finn. I can see how much you care about her, and I can see how good you are for her, too. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I really wanted to thank you.”

“Thank me?”

“Yeah, for whatever it is that you’re doing with her. She seems like a whole different person lately. She’s letting me into her head more, and it has always been locked up tight with the key hidden where no one but her could find it. I feel like I’m getting the best friend back I used to have before, you know, everything happened. Her designing is also giving her a new sense of joy I don’t know I’ve ever seen. I know she’s working herself into the ground working both jobs, which I wish would change, but the joy she has is undeniable, and you gave that to her. So, thank you.”

Man, I feel like someone has punched me in the chest. “Thanks for saying all that, but she really has done it all herself. I may have helped get her the interview, but her and her skill is what got her the job. As far as her opening up more, that takes all of her courage to want to open up to the people she cares about. I think you have something to do with that, too, Chloe. You’re her best friend, and you’ve always been there for her. I think she’s starting to see that and trust that more. So, I really don’t think I have much to do with it at all.”

She gives me a smile I can’t quite decipher. “I think you have more to do with it than you think, but anyway, what can I get for ya? Americano?”

“You know me so well.”

“Well, it is the number one drink of the mafia.”

“Not you, too!” I exclaim, aghast.

She throws her head back and laughs as I just walk away, shaking my head after throwing a twenty on the counter. I know she’s a struggling student and tips make all the difference. She works hard, just like Riley, and she deserves not to struggle so much.

***

“So, how did it go in Seattle?” Mason asks, giving me a grin not too dissimilar to the one Chloe gave me a few minutes ago. I know he’s referring to more than just the meeting I had with the developer over there, but I’m trying my best not to take the bait.

“It was great. The developer seemed competent, like most city-based developers. Knew exactly the kind of style he wanted.”

This made Mason perk up a bit. “Are Seattle developers somehow better than your average lil’ ole small town developer?”

Mason takes a lot of pride in his work, and he has always had a chip on his shoulder about big city developers and how they ruin the charm and character of everything they touch. Turning everything into a modern monstrosity, as he would say.

“Oh yeah, you know, he wants to build an office building not far from the Space Needle. We would have to tear down an older building, of course, but you know, it’s old, so it’s in need of an update, anyway.”

His eyes widen, and his face is turning red. I better abort mission before he makes a scene in the middle of this coffee shop. He can get rather passionate about this subject. So I continue before he can explode. “Relax, I’m just busting your balls. No buildings will be harmed in the making of this new one. Yes, it is a modern monstrosity, but it’s on a block that already has some space for the build.”

He lets out a breath. “Thank God, I was about to tear you a new one. So, does that mean that’s where you’re headed when this is over? Back home to the big city? Can’t cut the small town life?”

“I told them no.”

His eyes widen, and now he’s smiling like the Cheshire cat behind the register a few feet away. “You told them no, huh? Figured you would miss me too much and couldn’t stand to be away from me?”

“Yup, that’s exactly why I told them no. Wanna move in together so we never have to be apart?”

“We can get bunk beds, so there’s lots of room for activities.”

“I’m down if you are.”

His gaze turns serious. “For real though, man, you turned it down for Riley, didn’t you?”

“I don’t know that I’d say I turned it down for her, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t wonder where this could go, but it can’t go anywhere if I’m three hours away with hardly any time to come back to visit. You know how it is on a project like that.”

He nods his head in understanding.

“Also, something may or may not have happened this past weekend when we were in Seattle.” He’s grinning again, and I know he is going to ask for details, but I’m not going to give him details about me and Riley in that way. Call me possessive, but I don’t want anyone thinking about her like that ever, even if it is in the context of the two of us together. “I’m not giving you any details that’s between me and her, but after this weekend I have even more hope that this may turn into something and that can’t happen if I leave now.”

“Wow, man, you really must be down bad if you’re willing to give up a job for her.”

“It’s not just for her, it’s for me, too. I think small town life is starting to grow on me, and I don’t need the money.” He raises his eyebrows in surprise because he knows that, while I don’t talk about the kind of money I make, I typically only take the highest paying jobs. “I know. It’s a crazy concept, but I really don’t. I have more money than I know what to do with, and I no longer feel like I have something to prove. I like my vacation rental, and I like the slow pace of Evergreen Ridge. I like that people just live their lives and no one is trying to keep up with the Jones’. I don’t need much, so I’m going to stop working myself into the ground to prove something to people who will never care about me in the way they should.”

“Good for you, man. You know I always want you here, and there is a lot more vision I have for this town, and a few towns right outside of Evergreen, so you always have a job with me.”

That means more to me than he knows, and besides Riley, he knows the most about me. “I’ll definitely keep that in mind. Now let’s stop being all sentimental and talk about work.”

“Sure thing.”

You would think I felt silly rearranging my entire life for a woman who isn’t even my girlfriend, but it doesn’t feel that crazy to me. After this past weekend, I know that our connection is bone deep. She has burrowed herself into the marrow, and I’m not letting her go anywhere. She may try to push me away from time to time, but I will do my best to make her see that I’m not going anywhere, because I really think that’s what she’s most scared of, being left. If she doesn’t commit, she can’t be left, but I’m going to show her that she has nothing to be afraid of with me because I’m not going anywhere. Ever.