This is Me Trying (Evergreen Ridge)

Chapter 30

Finn

I t’s been four weeks since Riley and I had the talk where we defined our relationship, and I am so incredibly happy that I get to call her mine. We’ve fallen into our own comfortable routine these past weeks, and the fact that our time working on this project is coming to an end is daunting. The way I could see the fear in her eyes at the thought of me leaving was like a knife through the chest. I don’t ever want to see that look on her face again. So now, here I am, driving around and calling my little brother for advice.

It rings a couple times, and my palms are sweaty on the steering wheel. I don’t know why I feel so nervous after our conversation in Seattle went so well, but I guess it’s just going to take time for this to feel more comfortable. It’s never really been a normal thing for us to talk at all, let alone about things that are more than surface level, but he is actually going against the grain and quitting his job after he worked so hard, so maybe he will have some insight about what I should do.

“Hey, big brother of mine. Is everything okay? Should I be worried that you’re calling me?”

“Shut up, you know that’s the exact reaction that I had last month when you called and wanted to meet up. It’s just been a while, and I wanted to check in, you know, be a big brother.”

“Uh huh, sure, what’s really going on?”

“Can’t a guy just call and see how his little brother’s doing?”

“Yeah, but we’re not those guys, or at least, we haven’t been for a long time. Is this you trying to get there?”

I know we’re messing with each other, but I’m a little sad that we have all of this time lost, but at the same time, I’m hopeful we can make it better. “Well, even if I was, you don’t have to get all emotional on me. Listen, I really did want to check in and see how you’re doing after you told me you were going to quit the job you worked all those years in high school, then undergrad, then law school to get. Also, I may have a tiny issue that I’m dealing with involving the woman you met when we were in Seattle.”

“The interior designer that works with you, whom it would be completely unprofessional if you dated because you work together?”

“Yes, jerk, that’s the one. But she doesn’t work for me. We barely work together, really. I like to think of it as working adjacent. But, yes, that’s who I’m talking about. She is kind of sort of my girlfriend now.”

“Wow, man, I need to process this for a moment. This is information that I would have never seen coming from a mile away. What, with the way you looked at her like she hung the moon and the way she was your guard dog when we met up.”

“She was not my guard dog.”

“Yeah, okay, I thought laser beams were going to come out of her eyes and she was going to fry my backside if I looked at you wrong. She’s tiny, but a bit scary.”

That’s my girl. “I know, right?” I say with a smile in my voice. “But yes, all that to say, she is my girlfriend, my totally appropriate non-subordinate girlfriend, who I’ve fallen madly in love with, and now I don’t know what to do because my life is in Seattle. I obviously can’t ask her to move because she has already been through so much and her home is here in Evergreen. I also can’t leave her because, like I said, I’m totally head over heels for her, but there’s not a lot of work out here on the construction front, so yeah.” I blow out a long breath, and my brother is silent for a moment. I almost think he’s no longer there before he responds.

“Damn, bro, you got it bad. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you word vomit like that before. You’re usually so level-headed, and granted, we haven’t really been in each other’s lives these past years, but the brother I knew would not be this flustered over some chick, so she must be the one, yeah?”

“Yeah, man, I really think she is.”

“Okay, so what’s the problem?”

“I just told you what the problem is! Were you listening at all? You just commented on my tangent.”

“Okay, let me rephrase because your brain is doing some crazy things right now and I feel like I need to bring you back down to Earth. What are you really thinking the problem is, because you do realize you’re rich, right?”

“Huh?” I didn’t think my brother had any idea what kind of money I made as a contractor. My heart tugs a bit, because he must have been keeping better tabs on me than I thought for him to know that. He must know some of the projects I’ve worked on in the city.

“Besides the small trust fund I know you have,” I roll my eyes, because I invested that, but I don’t like to touch it, knowing that I didn’t work for it and it came from my parents, “I know that you do very well for yourself as a contractor. I know Mom and Dad put that crap in your head that you wouldn’t amount to anything doing manual labor, but you have an amazing mind for business and you should be proud of what you’ve built.”

I didn’t know until this moment how much I needed to hear something like that from him. I always felt like a failure because of my parents, and I was always a bit embarrassed that my little brother was seemingly so much more successful than me. I don’t ever want to compete with him, but there’s something in me that felt like, as his big brother, I needed to lead in that way, and I haven’t felt like I did. So, hearing those words of affirmation from him means a lot.

“Okay, so even if you’re right, what’s your point? It still doesn’t fix the fact that there isn’t much work here, and I can’t just not work.”

“Says who?”

“Uh, what?”

“Who says you can’t not work? I don’t mean forever, but if this girl really means as much to you as I think she does, why not just take some time off and get your bearings? Maybe you’ll find that you don’t need that much to live on in Evergreen and still be completely content. Maybe you’ll find that you only need to take on one small job a year to live comfortably, and then you can, I don’t know, what do people there do? Hunt and fish?”

“Jackson, just because it’s a small town doesn’t mean everyone is hunting and fishing.”

“Okay, okay, but you know what I mean. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. You may have removed yourself from under Mom and Dad’s thumbs, but you’re still somewhat living by the messed up principles that they ingrained in us.”

“How did you get to be so wise, little brother? I’m supposed to be the one with all the good advice.”

“How about we both just have each other’s backs from now on and call it even. Which, speaking of, what is this opening party I’m hearing about from Mom and how did Mom score an invite and I didn’t?”

I tilt my face to the sky and groan. “It kind of just came out in conversation by accident and I couldn’t reel it back in. I wasn’t going to invite her, but now that’s happening. You should come, though. Have you told them yet about your grand plan to quit the job you’ve worked your whole life for?”

“No, but want to be there when I do?”

“Absolutely. Why don’t you come to the party and you can tell them then, and you can stay for a while afterward with me in my vacation rental and explore Evergreen? See if you want to spend some time here while you figure out what you want to do. Maybe we can both go on a soul searching journey together.”

“Aww, can we get matching friendship bracelets, too?”

“I’m sure we can make that work.” I laugh. “What do you say?”

“You’re sure you don’t mind us having this conversation at your party? I don’t want to cause any trouble.”

“You know Mom is way too prim and proper to have a public altercation, so this might actually be the best option.”

“Okay, as long as you’re sure, I’m in.”

“Am I sure I want to see their golden child crush their dreams? Yes, Jackson, I am. I’ll send over all the information, and I’ll see you this weekend?”

“Can’t wait, man, and I can’t wait to get to know this girl who has you all out of sorts.”

“Later, Jackson.” He just laughs and hangs up the phone.

This is going to be very interesting. I’m excited to have my brother here. I just hope our plan doesn’t blow up in our faces. I’m glad that now we have each other if things go south.