Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
Just before Juniper’s meeting
KIT
Ez reached out to steady me as I walked through the door.
“Easy, there,” he said, slipping his arm around me.
I could still feel Juniper faintly in the bond, a ball of discomfort.
“Kit?” Adrian had come out, looking concerned. I realized I was just standing by the door, staring into space, looking miserable. Smelling like her.
“Is Jhin here?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Adrian said, and stepped back to knock on my bedroom door.
I blinked as Jhin stepped out, dressed in a suit. He was typing something on his phone.
“You going somewhere?” asked Vander.
Jhin looked up, about to speak, but his eyes found mine, and he stopped.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, and I bit my lip.
“I can’t do this,” I said.
“Do…?” Jhin’s eyes snapped to mine.
“This.” I waved at all of them. “I… can’t join your pack. Can’t be your omega.”
Jhin walked toward me, and I couldn't read his expression. I froze as he pulled me into a hug. His hand wound through my hair, pulling my head up to his chest, and his other arm tight around my back. He held me for a second, then pressed a gentle kiss to the top of my head.
I burst into tears.
* * *
It was a while before I was settled enough to talk, and Jhin had moved me to the love seat. He was sitting next to me, gently rubbing my back while I sobbed. My glasses were covered in salty smudges, and I kept trying to clean them on my shirt, but it was just making the smudges worse.
Ez had grabbed the tissues, Adrian had passed me one of my fluffy blankets, and Vander had brought me my vape.
“Kit,” Jhin finally said. “We’ll leave if you want us to. Perhaps, I shouldn’t have hugged you like I did. You just seemed so—miserable.”
“Y—yeah. Juni probably would have punched you,” I said, grabbing another tissue and blowing my nose again. “Hey asshole, I’m trying to break up with you here.”
Jhin gave a sad chuckle, and I added the tissue to the mini mountain on the floor.
“So shall we go?” he asked, his dark eyes boring into mine. His smooth, gentle voice contrasted so starkly with the intensity of his eyes, with the weight of his attention and aura.
I hiccuped. “No, I should…explain. You guys have been amazing. Really,” I started. “But today, I was dropping off Juniper downtown?—”
Jhin’s eyes flashed for a second.
“Oh fuck,” he said, jumping to his feet with a panicked look on his face. “I’m late—shit—I’m so sorry, Kit, but I need to go. I’ll be back as soon as I can?—
He bolted out of the door without another word, and I blinked after him. Vander rolled his eyes and took his place next to me on the couch.
“I guess we’ll catch him up later.” He nodded at me.
“Right,” I said, a bit thrown off, “Well, you know Juni kind of messed up her whole heat cycle. She’s supposed to be done, but for whatever reason, she’s not. She was having a really bad heat spike, so I took her back to the car, and—well?—”
“You boned?” Ez asked sympathetically.
I nodded, another tear dripping down my cheek.
“And, after, she told me she’s going to stay at the Safe House. That she should leave and give me some space. And it made me realize how much—I—I think I love her.”
Vander spluttered, and started to choke on something. Ez slapped him on the back with far too much enthusiasm.
“God, I had this whole plan where we’d find her a pack that she could be sure of—you know, that she could trust. And then I’d tell her how I felt, and if she didn’t feel the same way, she’d have them, right? And if she did, then maybe we’d be able to both join together. But then I got the scent match—and she said no—and I guess I was still hoping, you know, with us all here, that maybe it would work out.” I scrubbed my face. “But she’s leaving. And… I can’t do this without her. I can’t move on and know she’s alone. Without her, I’m not me , you know?”
Vander ran his fingers through his bleached hair, looking pained
“Well, this is a fucking mess,” he said. “She’s head over heels for you, Kit.”
There was a pause. My blood went cold, pins and needles prickling over my hands and feet.
“What?” asked Adrian, echoing my thoughts. Everyone was staring at Vander.
“Well, you saw her rush out last night,” Vander said. “And I told you I’d go and talk to her because you were all worried, but it’s because I figured what she was upset about. She was crying her pretty eyes out over you , Kit. She told me she had to leave. She couldn’t bear to stay and watch you fall in love with someone else.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head.
This was some kind of joke.
Had to be.
Vander shrugged. “I reckon if you tell her what you just told me, she’d say it all back. And you should, because we want her in the pack too. It’s been torture to think we might lose her.”
Ah.
Shit.
JUNIPER
I hadn’t been able to sleep properly last night. I’d dozed off a bit in my closet-nest, but woke with gritty eyes and a slight headache. Still, I dragged myself up to brush my teeth and get dressed. I hadn’t brought much, and it wasn’t really date-worthy but I didn’t really care.
Kit’s bond had faded, just glimmers of his worry and anxiety leaked through now and again. It was easy to push it away completely as I tiptoed past Luna and climbed into another car-share to meet my scent matches.
They hadn’t brought flowers.
That was the first thing I noticed, though it didn’t matter. Nothing would ever match Jhin’s tall, lean form and the serious expression on his face as he held that bouquet out to me.
I could feel their power, the tug of them as I caught their scent.
Mine.
It was intoxicating, drawing all my attention to them. Valerie was tall, and her heels made her tower a good head above me. Her skin was tan, and she was obviously some kind of athlete, her frame thick with muscle. She still boasted generous curves, and her yoga pants showed off thick hips that I couldn’t look away from as she swayed toward me.
“Oh, just look at you, sweetheart!” Valerie held my shoulders and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Just gorgeous .”
I found myself being pulled into a warm amber and grapefruit hug. My cheeks were resting against her ample breasts, and she smelled absolutely divine. I focused on that, on sinking into the way it was obliterating every other thought except her.
“I mean, it’s just so perfect, right? Like our own poor little gold pack darling. ”
She stepped back, and Rick was suddenly there instead. His hair was cut in an expensive-looking fade, the black tips hanging over his honey-brown eyes. He wound his arm around me, burying his nose in my hair and inhaling deeply. I swallowed.
“Mm,” he said, his nose rubbing against my neck. “God, you smell divine. Our little cherry tart.”
Jake tugged him away. He looked like Rick, only leaner and his hair was buzzed. Same honey brown eyes, and Ez and Adrian had the same eyes, too?—
“Hi, love,” Jake said, thankfully cutting off my thought as he stepped in front of me. He tilted my chin up, a smile on his face.
“ Share , boys,” said Valerie, rolling her eyes. “ Animals , I tell you, but you gotta love them.”
I took a deep breath, taking in their scents, trying to push away the discomfort. I was reverting to my interaction strategy I’d had anytime I met alphas with Kit—just be quiet.
“Welcome to your new life, Juniper, we’re going to just spoil you. Get you all new clothes and stuff.”
Valerie’s aura was tugging at me, sweeping me away in a river as I found myself nodding before I could think.
“Oh, that’s okay. I don’t need much,” I said, pulling out of the odd feeling, and Valerie gave a little laugh.
“No, darling, we’ll make sure you have anything you want. How could we say no to those huge, sad eyes? Jake, doesn’t she look just like a doll? So cute!”
For a second, I imagined what Vander’s face would look like if he was here—probably a mix between incredulous and disgusted at the fact I was just letting this happen.
I buried the pain by nestling closer to Rick, seeking his cedary smell.
His hand circled my waist.
“Well? I’m sure you have questions for us?" she said, and shook her hair back over her shoulder.
“Sorry,” I said, blinking up at her. “I’ve had a rough week. Need some rest.”
“Oh, how insensitive of us, darling. Of course, I can’t imagine what it’s like for you, living in the Gritch.” She shuddered. “You know what will cheer you up? A shopping date!”
I didn’t like them, I realized, as they led me to their fancy car.
But I’d found comfort in the scent of an omega who wasn’t my match, so maybe scents just didn’t work right for me.
Perhaps this wa s how it was meant to be. My justice, the match of a broken omega.
Their scent made it all go away.
I stared numbly at Valerie’s blonde ponytail, watching it swing back and forth as she animatedly chatted about nothing in the front seat.
KIT
I stood at the door of the Safe House, rocking on my feet, excitement and nerves making me jittery.
Juniper had told me not to come, but I’d tried the proper way, and she wasn’t responding to any of my messages. I had to see her. I took a breath. It was going to be okay. I was going to tell her this was all just a huge misunderstanding, and I was in love with her and that I wanted her back, and then pray Vander wasn’t some psychotic liar when he said she felt the same.
I knocked.
A sleepy-looking Luna opened the door, her thick black hair all mussed.
“Kit?" she said with a yawn.
“Is Juniper here?” I asked. Luna blinked at me.
“Sure, she’s in the spare room,” she said, waving me inside. “Last door on the left.”
I walked down the corridor and knocked on the door.
“Juni?” I called out, but there was no response. I opened the door a crack, but something was wrong. Her scent was here, but not as strong as it should be. She wasn’t here. The bubbly excitement that had been swelling inside me popped, leaving me with a steadily growing, clawing fear. I checked the bond I had with her, sensing nothing but a resigned sorrow.
I stepped inside, hoping I was wrong, but there was no sign of her in the bedroom. I hurried back to the living room.
“She’s not there,” I told Luna, whose brows furrowed in confusion.
“What? That’s not right. She was there. She was in a really bad way. I think she nested in the closet?”
Luna went to the bedroom, and I started searching the rest of the house, seeking out any sign of her.
“Shit,” Luna said, looking fully awake now. “She’s gone.”
“No.” I shook my head numbly. This must be a mistake. “No, because the doctor said she was going into heat again. So she’d be here. She has to be here.”
“Fuck.” Luna moved back, pulling out her phone. “Come in. Maybe Daisy knows something?”
Why would she go anywhere else? This was the safest place for a gold pack in heat.
What was she thinking?
Luna started speaking to Daisy on the phone, her voice low and worried.
I walked down the hall, opening the door to check again. Luna was right. There were blankets and pillows shoved in the closet. Closet nesting was never a good sign.
I raked my fingers through my hair, searching more thoroughly now, looking through her things. Anything to indicate that she was coming back, but there was nothing here. I got to the garbage can in the bathroom and stared at it for a minute. When I realized what I was looking at, I took my phone out with fumbling fingers.
I called Jhin, trying not to cry. “Juniper’s missing.”
* * *
I sat—huddled in Juniper’s makeshift nest-closet when they all arrived. They looked around, confused as I squeezed myself out of the closet and just looked at them.
Adrian pulled me into a hug, and I had to work hard not to burst into tears.
“We’ll find her,” he assured me firmly.
“She left nothing?” Vander asked suspiciously, starting to look around.
“Just that.” I pointed at the garbage can. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to look through it after I scented what was in there.
“What the fuck?" He picked it up, finding a bunch of fabric inside.
“Oh, nice, that’s where my pink pair went,” Ez said, snatching a pair of underwear out from the remnants of Juni’s nesting.
Vander dumped the rest of it on the counter. It was pairs of their underwear and the remains of my favorite cushion cover.
“She left them,” I said, reaching over to claim my pillow case. She’d gone to the trouble of bringing them here, probably to nest with, and then thrown them in the garbage. There was no way she was okay.
I frowned as I felt something that had been shoved inside the tattered remains. I pulled out a stack of papers, with a heavy-duty staple in the corner.
My blood went cold as I saw the logo on the front.
Vander was staring at it too, anger darkening his expression, and Ez grabbed it out of his hands.
“Valentine Division?" he choked out, looking at us frantically. “She… she matched a pack?”
“No way,” I said, reaching over and flipping the pages. The first was the agreement, with signed consent forms. And the next was the pack information.
I opened it to the first page. Valerie Carlisle . Pack lead .
The name sent a flicker of unease through me, and I peered at the picture attached to her page.
Blonde, pretty. Female alpha. And those eyes…
A memory stirred as I looked at her eyes.
Back at the academy, I’d been on a date with one of the packs. It had been a double date, and I’d made note of the other pack lead because I’d never met a female alpha before.
I took another nervous sip of my drink, trying to ignore the fact she was staring at me again. Her pack’s omega date wasn’t from the academy, and her pack had been very handsy with her all evening. All except Valerie. All her attention had been focused on me. It was super awkward, and even the pack I was with had noticed.
I got up to go to the bathroom, trying to escape some of the tension, but stopped short when I came back out. Valerie was waiting for me just outside the doors. For a second, I considered just running back inside.
“Don’t be shy. Come on over, Kit,” she’d said, and I’d obeyed before I even clocked that she’d compelled me. Not a bark, not like a male alpha, but something more insidious.
Usually, I could feel the moment the pull began, sinking its claws in deep, and if you lived in the Gritch, you learned how to resist a bark early on. I’d experienced enough that I was familiar with the brief flash that burned in your brain when it hit; but hers had been so small. Almost unnoticeable. Her claws had sunk in the moment I saw her, and I hadn’t felt a thing.
She tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. She was a good head taller than me.
“God, you are so adorable. I just want to eat you up,” she said, giving me a wide smile. I very much did not want to be eaten by her.
“Your dates are so, like, tense. They’ve been so boring. You should come home with us,” she said, blinking her pretty eyes with sympathy. I caught myself mid-nod. My pack had been tense and boring, and I should…
No. I didn’t want to go home with her.
Fear curdled in my stomach.
Was that another bark? It was nothing like anything I’d ever experienced before. I panicked and covered my ears, running back into the bathroom. She called something after me, but it was muffled. I hid in the stall for an hour until one of my dates came looking for me. Thankfully, she was gone by then.
“Oh shit,” I said, putting the paper down on the bed like it had burned me.
“You know her?” asked Adrian.
“I met her once, when I was at the academy,” I said with a shudder. “She was… awful.”
“You’re sure it was her?” Jhin asked, his eyes intent on mine. I nodded.
“I’d never met a female alpha before. But besides that… she was terrifying. She was eyeing me like I was meat.”
“Phew,” said Vander. “Thought I was going to have to convince you guys we should ignore Juniper’s wishes, but this makes it easy.”
Jhin frowned, and Vander raised a finger at him. “Hey. Let’s not waste time. I had a really long speech planned.” Vander continued.
“Let’s go. Now,” I said. Maybe it was a bit crazy. But no one argued as we raced out to the minivan.