Thots and Prayers: A Slash or Pass novella

Rule 8 - Constantine

Icouldn’t sleep. My mind kept wandering to that god-fucking awful church. It was decent in and of itself. A mid-sized, two-story building. It was clear the town put money into it to upkeep it, but still...

I fucking hated organized religion.

The memories of Eisley taking my cock deep down her throat while I took a man’s confession rattled around in my brain, stirring my cock all night. I eventually got out of bed and sat down at the table to look over the files I’d taken from the former priest’s office. I needed to come up with something better than my first sermon. That was pure luck they didn’t catch on to the fact that I had no idea what I was saying. The town of Ricefield was so desperate for ministry, they didn’t care what I was spewing out of my mouth, so long as the words Lord, Sin, and Pray were thrown in every couple of sentences.

I was growing bored with it all until Kansas and Eisley made their appearance. They’d sat in the back and I watched as Eisley calmed down a panicking Kansas by jerking him off in public. Anyone could have seen, but as I was leading the congregation, ordering them to look ahead and not back, I was the only one to watch. I was hard the entire time.

Light peeked through the curtains, and I looked up from my papers and at the alarm clock near the bed. I stood and stretched, wondering if the creepy motel owner or his mother put out coffee in the lobby. I left the room quietly, letting Kansas and Eisley sleep, to hunt for a donut or a banana.

The office was open, and Mitch was inside, smiling and whistling, as if he’d been up for hours. “Good morning, Father Duvall! It’s early.”

“Do you have coffee?” I asked.

“Coffee?” His brow furrowed. “I didn’t know priests could have caffeine.”

I rolled my eyes. “We can indulge a little, Mitch. Now please, may I have a cup? I smell it coming from somewhere.”

He didn’t seem happy about it, but he nodded, and left the room, returning a moment later with a ceramic mug. “Mother doesn’t like Styrofoam.”

I thanked him and looked around. Off to the side was a small lounge area, with a TV and couch. It was playing the local news. I went to it and sat down to sip my coffee. Mitch, uninvited, joined me.

“You look tired. Did you not sleep well, Father?” He sat on the arm of the couch and folded his hands in his lap.

“I have to plan daily mass for you guys while I’m here. It’s a bit hard to focus. I stayed up last night to do so.”

“Hmm...” Mitch thought for a moment. “Would it make it easier if you had your own room? I saw your friends, and they are a bit loud. Plus, you could have your own bed. Or is sleeping on the floor a penance?”

I blinked. It was far too early for this shit.

“It’s… I don’t need my own room, Mitch.”

He stood quickly, ignoring me. “No, I insist. Especially after last night’s sermon. I wish to be more caring to those who need help.” He hurried behind his desk and pulled a key off the wall. “You can have the room that adjoins theirs. That way, you can rest in peace and still watch over them to make sure they don’t get into trouble.”

“Trouble?” I smirked. It wasn’t Eisley and Kansas they had to worry about. Both of them could control themselves most of the time. Other than our monthly blood lust, they didn’t need to kill like I did. And right now, I had the strongest urge to kill Mitch. He handed me the second key and sat with a smile beside me.

“Yes, I heard that you were taking them on your travels in hopes that they’d repent from their wickedness and become children of god. If you need any help, I’m more than happy to step in. Mother can handle the motel.”

I sipped my coffee and focused on the TV. Could I use him for anything? “Mitch, where is all the communion wine?” I’d noticed that all they had was sparkling grape juice.

“Oh, we don’t use alcohol. Most places don’t even sell it here, well, except for the liquor store, but no one really goes there.”

I fought back a laugh. Everyone in this town was full of themselves.

“Well, I’ve always used wine. I think I might pick some up. Have you ever had wine, Mitch?”

Mitch’s face grew flushed. “Well, I mean, once or twice. Sometimes, Mother likes it with dinner. But never to a point where I can’t handle myself.”

“Maybe you should sometimes,” I observed. “There’s nothing wrong with having a little fun.”

“Fun? Like what?”

“Well, there are some pretty girls at church. Have you dated any of them?”

“Mother says?—”

“Your mother needs to relax and let you date. Mitch, have you had sex?” I finished my coffee and leaned back, putting my arm up around the couch.

“I’m not married,” he answered curtly.

“Does your priest that has fallen ill teach you to stay a virgin until marriage?”

“Don’t you?” he shot back, defensively.

I shook my head. “The idea of a person being pure simply because of human desire is absurd to me. As long as you and your partner are consenting, sex is a healthy part of adult life. You should be having sex,” I said, making it clear where I stood. At least, in this role. A little consensual non consent, or even dubious consent, was fun every once in a while.

“What about you? Aren’t you sworn to celibacy?”

I frowned. “I am. But that was my choice. I... promised god,” I hesitated, trying to remember if that was correct. Was that what Catholic priests did? He nodded, so I must have gotten it right. “You made no such promise. Mitch, I want to help you in this.”

“Help me...” He looked around, eyes wide with fear, and leaned in to whisper. “Have sex?”

“Oh yes. I want this whole town to embrace a lifestyle less like Sodom, don’t you think? No more judgment, more compassion, and understanding our human urges.”

“Yes.” Mitch’s eyes grew glossy. “I would like a town less like Sodom.” He stood and went around to his desk. “I can help you get some wine, Father.”

“Good, thank you, child,” I said softly. I stood and took him my empty cup. “And once the wine is secured, we can work on the next thing.”

Mitch’s face went stark and he began to stutter.

“The… the—you mean...”

“Sex. I want to help you find someone to have sex with. Is there a woman who was at church last night you might be interested in? I can talk to her today.”

Mitch chuckled and looked down at the floor. “I mean, I guess, but I doubt she’s a virgin.”

“I thought we talked about this.” I clicked my tongue. “Virginity is just a construct created by Sodomites.” Fuck, if there was a hell, I was definitely going to it. Not for all the murders I’d committed in Shelley Vale or the other places, but for what I was about to do to this town.

“It was?” Mitch’s eyes lit up with hope. Sure, buddy. If that helped you sleep better.

“Yes, child. Now, which woman do you want to have intercourse with?”

“Well, uh—” He reached around and rubbed his neck. “If I get to just choose, I mean, I don’t even know if she’s available. She sure is pretty though, I just don’t know if?—”

“Who is it?” I demanded, startling him.

“Domino!”