12. Ivy
CHAPTER 12
Ivy
Liam kisses like a dream.
That’s the only thought in my head as I give myself over to him, pouring all of the love I’ve always felt for him into our unhurried, yet passionate, embrace.
The way his hands cup my cheeks is strong, sexy, and oh-so-Liam. Confident, quiet, commanding. Yet worshipful at the same time. We kiss again and again, a yearning, questing, completion of what’s been simmering under the surface for years.
He’s in love with me.
That’s what he said.
I suppose on some level I’ve always known that. Or at least sensed it. I’ve felt it too, a secret understanding that what we are—what we could be—is more than friends.
There are actual tears in my eyes when he finally releases me, soulful blue eyes sweeping over me, seeking a confirmation of our connection.
“I’m in love with you too,” I whisper.
“You’re crying,” he murmurs, stroking up the length of my cheeks to gently brush across the moisture that is clinging to my lashes, but not falling. “Why are you crying, my precious?”
That makes me give a watery laugh. Liam has a definite nerdy side and one time he told me that when he finds the love of his life, he’ll call her or him ‘my precious’ in a nod to Gollum. It had been a joke, and he’s using it now because he doesn’t know if my tears are good or bad. Liam doesn’t like it when he can’t interpret a person or a situation.
Which is why Harrison makes him crazy. He can’t figure out why Harrison does the things he does.
But I won’t keep him guessing with me. It’s time I tell him the truth.
“I’m crying because I’ve always loved you, but I love our friendship so much too, and I’ve never wanted to risk losing it.”
He’s tracing my eyebrows, down my temples, and across my lips. “Why would you lose our friendship?”
“If I told you how I feel and you didn’t feel the same way, that would ruin what we have. So, instead, I just ignored my feelings. I’d rather have your friendship than not have you at all.”
He studies me, lowering his hands to my shoulders. “But if you could have all of me, you’d want that?”
I nod. “Yes,” I say simply.
Liam understands me completely, on every level. We had a bond from the very first time we met and it’s only grown deeper and deeper over the years as our lives have shifted and grown and moved around each other. Through relationships and moves and career changes, he’s been my constant.
“Then you have me,” Liam says. “All of me. I’m yours.”
A shiver rolls through me. I throw my arms around Liam and give him a hug. He kisses the side of my head. I feel giddy and excited. “I love you.”
Liam squeezes me tight. “I love you too. Now I guess we should go back. You’ve seen Harrison without coffee. It’s not pretty.”
I give a soft laugh as he bends over and picks up the bag he set down with the breakfast burritos. I bite my lip, a little nervous over having to face Ford in the light of day. I don’t know what I feel for him. I like what I know of Ford—he’s kind and caring and has been a safe haven for me since that disastrous moment when I walked in on him texting Brad.
Last night he made me feel incredible…but I have no idea what he’s thinking. I feel a little guilty for pushing him away two nights ago, then pulling him back in last night.
There’s an attraction between us, chemistry. We like each other.
But does that mean anything beyond a few days on the road?
I have no idea where his head is at or where mine is surrounding Ford, to be honest.
Now there’s Liam.
This is a different level entirely.
Liam predates even Brad. He’s my best friend. My go-to. My rational, steadfast, honest, and solid-as-a-rock ride or die.
“How do we do this?” I ask nervously.
Liam opens the car door for me, something he doesn’t normally do. He grins. “I have no idea.”
“I feel like they’re going to know.”
“How would they know?” He shuts the door and goes around the car. Once he’s in the driver’s seat, he says, “We have to tell them, anyway. It’s the only fair thing to do. There’s a lot for all of us to unpack.”
I nod. We all need to figure out what we’re doing together, if anything.
I know what I want with Liam.
Now that he’s kissed me, I want more. As soon as possible. I’m already envisioning Liam touching every inch of me, sliding his hands down my body in the same worshipful way he cupped my face. “If we’re in love with each other, we’re going to have sex, right?”
Liam turns to me quickly. “Uh, fuck, yes , we’re having sex. That’s what was in my head, anyway. Tell me you’re on the same page.”
His very Liam horrified reaction makes me laugh. “Yes, we’re on the same page. I was just checking.” I reach over and touch his knee. “I want you.”
“God, I fucking want you. I’ve wanted you every day for over three years.”
I can’t stop smiling. It’s ear to ear. “You actually hid it very well. We’re going to have to have a chat about that later.”
“Can we be naked when that happens?”
I pretend to give him a stern look. “I want to know everything , Liam. If you remember what I was wearing the first time we met?—
“Black pants and a sleeveless beige shirt with a gold necklace.”
Interesting. And delightful. “And what you thought of the guys I dated?—
“Idiots. All of them. Not good enough for you.”
“Are you saying I have bad taste?”
“Until today, yes, I could argue that. Of course, Ford seems like a decent guy.”
That makes me feel weird all over again. “He does. Are you jealous?”
“A little. Are you jealous of Harrison?”
“A little. But at the same time, because we’ve been friends for so long and dated other people, it doesn’t feel as maddening as it should, if that makes sense.”
“I totally agree with that.”
Though what that means for the future, I have no clue.
Maybe Ford isn’t interested in anything beyond last night. Maybe he was comforting me. With an orgasm. My nipples harden at that memory.
We get out of the car at the motel and walk up to the room. I’m carrying the paper bag and Liam has the drink holder in one hand. He takes my hand with his free one right before we reach our room. “Hey.”
“Hmm?” I turn toward him.
“I love you. I just wanted to say that one more time.”
“I had no idea you were so adorable when you’re in love.”
He leans in and kisses me, softly, briefly.
But then a fire sparks inside us and we’re suddenly on top of each other, pressed up tightly chest to chest, kissing with sizzling heat and tangled tongues. I moan low, wanting more. His hand traces over my lower back and onto my ass, cupping one cheek to rock me against his hard cock.
The door opening behind us barely registers in my sex-soaked brain.
“Ivy.”
I break away from Liam and turn to see Ford standing in the doorway in a towel, his hair damp from the shower. He looks stunned.
“Ford, I…” I have no idea what to say.
This is not how I wanted to bring this subject up and I fumble around for words and don’t find any.
Harrison is behind him, fully dressed in shorts and a polo shirt, his arms crossed over his chest. He’s wearing a grin, but it looks strained. “William. I hope you at least brought coffee.”
“We did,” Liam says, lifting the drink holder, seemingly fully composed. “Let’s go in the room and talk about this.”
“I don’t really see what there is to say.” Ford turns on his heel and heads straight to the bathroom, grabbing his overnight bag on his way.
I hear the lock on the bathroom door click.
My heart sinks. This mixture of emotions is confusing as hell and I hate the idea that I’ve hurt Ford in any way. It has me frozen in place.
With his hand on the small of my back, Liam gently pushes me into the room, edging me past Harrison, who steps out of the way. Liam pushes the coffee at Harrison, who takes the cardboard tray. I drop the bag with the burritos on the small dining table.
“So you’re friends with benefits?” Harrison opens the bag and peers inside. His words are casual, but there is some hurt in his tone. “Did Brad know about that?”
Liam bristles. “Not that it’s actually any of your fucking business, but there was nothing for Brad to know. This just happened.”
“You went for coffee and decided to make out?”
This feels like a Liam-Harrison private conversation, so I walk over to the bathroom door and knock. I need to explain. “Ford, can we talk?”
The door opens, and he’s fully dressed. He’s on his phone, swiping. I can see he has a car service app open.
I frown. “What are you doing?”
He finally looks up at me. His gaze drills into me. “I’m going to the airport and flying to South Carolina. I don’t really think I’m needed on this road trip after all and this all feels very…messy.”
My jaw drops. “I…”
I don’t actually know what to say. I feel awkward and guilty and yet, at the same time, I don’t feel like I did anything wrong. We’re all adults. Hell, we were four feet away from Liam and Harrison in bed last night, and that wasn’t a problem. This hasn’t exactly been a straight-forward friends-only road trip.
And yet…there was a spark between me and Ford. I don’t intend to deny that, but it looks like he does.
“Ford. This was unexpected with Liam. Just like between us was unexpected.”
“But you’re in love with Liam,” he says flatly.
“Yes. But?—
Ford throws his hand up. “I don’t need to hear the rest. Seriously. It’s fine. This was a crazy fucking week. You don’t have to explain yourself.”
“But—
“Stop. Seriously.”
Frustration creeps in that he won’t let me speak. So I just decide to let him do what he needs to do. He looks very determined to leave. “Okay. Thank you for your help, Ford. I appreciate it.”
He scoffs. “You’re welcome.”
He sounds hurt, which hurts me, I have to admit.
“You got an Uber?” Harrison asks, even as he starts shoving his clothes in his bag. “I guess they’re everywhere now. Even the middle of nowhere.”
“Are you leaving too?” Liam asks him, sounding as astonished as I feel.
“Uh, yes. I’m Ford’s wingman. He goes, I go. That’s the best friend code.” Harrison takes a bite of his burrito and shoves his feet into his sandals as he zips up his bag. “Good luck selling the house, Ivy.”
This is happening so fast, my head is spinning.
“Well, that’s just ridiculous,” Liam declares. “We can all have an actual conversation, you know. We are adults. Or at least three of us are.”
Harrison’s eyebrows shoot up. “So me, Ivy, and Ford?” Then he reaches over and kisses me on the cheek. “Don’t let William boss you around or pull his grumpy bullshit.”
I wait for Liam to try harder to stop them both, but he looks as astonished as I feel.
I just nod. “Thank you, Harrison. For everything.” Ford is already at the motel room door. “We can drive you guys to the airport if you want,” I tell them. At least that would give us time to talk.
“No, thanks.” Ford waves his phone. “Uber is already on its way.”
“Oh. Sure.” I bit my lip and watch them both step out as a car pulls up almost immediately.
Harrison gives us a wave. Ford climbs in the vehicle without a glance back.
A minute later, Liam and I are just standing there, staring at each other.
“I don’t know how I saw that going, but that wasn’t it,” I admit.
“Me either.” Liam frowns at the closed door.
“Are you okay?” I ask, worried that he might be feeling rejected by Harrison for the second time.
Liam smiles, but this time it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He glances at the car pulling out of the motel parking lot. But then he says, “Yes. I’m not surprised by Harrison, though I’m sorry that was so awkward with Ford.”
“Me too,” I murmur. “But he made it clear he doesn’t want to talk about it.”
“Well.” He glances around the room and heads for his bag. “Should we hit the road?”
“Yes. This room has bad vibes now.” I make an effort to just shake off feeling suddenly and summarily abandoned by Ford. That’s not fair. He didn’t even have to come on this road trip. I’m still a little disappointed though, which also isn’t fair. He saw me kissing Liam. “What a week.”
Liam actually chuckles. He sets his bag on the bed and comes over to me. He pulls me into his arms. “Best week of my life so far.”
That makes my heart full again, in spite of my convoluted feelings about Ford.
I snuggle into Liam’s chest, grateful for him, as always. Even more so now that we’ve admitted our love for each other. “It’s going to be even better tonight.”
“I guarantee it.”