Chapter Nine
“ F or you, Lisa.”
I startled at the beautiful and delightfully colorful paper rose thrust in my direction.
“Ah, thank you, Kevin,” I said politely, taking the flower. “Some leftovers from your last stage play?”
Kevin was a theater kid and often added to the visual interest of the school plays with his handmade creations.
“No, the next scene change is in a week,” he said, then stared at me.
“He gave you flowers!” Claudia, my classmate, hissed in a not at all discreet voice.
Oh.
Oh.
“Technically Kevin has given me a flower,” I shoot back then turned back to the waiting man. “…would you like to give me more?”
Kevin nodded resolutely. “And take you on a date,” he added.
I ignored the reactions of my nosy classmates and studied my perspective date. He was nice. Kinda mild. Nothing special, but if I took a chance to know him better… He wasn’t one of my neighbors who I was immediately attracted to, but maybe that was a good thing.
I would take three good friends over one boyfriend any day.
“Yeah, sure,” I smiled. “Going to take me to a play?”
Kevin gasped, his usual deadpan expression not leaving his face.
“That’s a third date activity!”
I laughed.
“Then how about we do a classic dinner date?”
“Acceptable,” Kevin agreed, adapting a haughty personality, his actor training shining through. “Shall I have my carriage pick you up, my lady?”
“That would be great. My car is giving me trouble lately, and I didn’t have time to see the mechanic yet.”
We discussed the details and agreed on a time and place. The following Friday, I looked at the time on the clock on the wall, fidgeting in my pretty dress. Kevin was only a few minutes late, but it still made me nervous.
When the knock came, I jumped to my feet and swung the door open only to freeze.
“What happened to you?” I blurted out.
Kevin looked like someone who experienced all the Friday 13ths at the same time. His smart shirt was stained with something unidentifiable and the flowers in his hand (real roses this time) looked rumpled. Was that one stalk broken?
“I have been cursed today, Lisa, that’s what happened,” he sighed. “A black cat crossed my path, and I had to keep changing my route because it kept showing up in front of me. Then I tripped over a fucking white cat that ran between my legs and it made me scatter the roses all around. And if that wasn’t enough, a psycho orange cat attacked my shirt and ripped it!” he gestured at his destroyed shirt wildly.
I had to school my expression into one of commiseration even if this deluge of accidents involving cats, cats I had a feeling I knew, was hilarious. Kevin didn’t seem to see anything funny in it because he scowled and said the words that changed everything.
“God, I hate cats.”
Being wary of those animals after what happened would be understandable, but he said those words with such feeling I knew his hatred for cats wasn’t a recent development. And if anything was a red flag for me, it was hatred for cats or dogs, or any animals really. I should have known when he started talking about black cats bringing bad luck that he wasn’t a good match for me.
Now I didn’t really want to go on a date with this man and his wrong opinions.
“But what kept me going was the idea of seeing you,” Kevin said with a smile and offered me the flowers.
Well, this was awkward. How does one say that you aren’t interested anymore?
I was saved by my neighbors coming up the stairs.
“Hey Lisa, we fixed your car!” Chester said and threw a bundle of keys in my direction.
I caught them automatically, my mind still processing the fact that they apparently stole my car keys… to fix my car for me?!
“…thanks?” I said,
“And who’s this?” Elijah asked politely, eying the man in front of my door.
“This is Kevin, Kevin my neighbors,” I introduced, not going into the names of the three men as Kevin was already narrowing his eyes at them.
“Kevin, right. Lisa never mentioned you,” Elijah smiled.
Kevin spluttered, his fingers tightening on the still not accepted bouquet.
Rowan chose the moment to squeeze past me into my flat and sprawl on the couch.
“How about we take out the car for a test ride and you take us somewhere nice, darling?” Chester suggested, throwing his arm around my shoulders, forcing Kevin to take a step back as he didn’tslink past like Rowan, but bulldozed his way to me.
“What is this farce?” Kevin hissed, his cheeks growing red with fury.
“Maybe you just have bad luck today,” Elijah smiled at him, then shifted his attention to me. “I got the almond coffee syrup you liked for you,” the man presented me with the small bottle and I took it.
Kevin threw his roses onto the floor.
“Fuck this,” was all he said as he turned on his heel and stomped out of the building.
With a sigh, I stepped back into my flat, not at all surprised when I ended up with all three of my neighbors in my space.
“Are you done pissing all over your territory?” I asked bluntly.
“Ew, pissing is such a vile term. We were just… scent marking,” Chester grinned.
“You scared my date away, you villains,” I scoffed.
“Not villains. Vigilantes,” Rowan piped up.
“Right, we were mean for a good reason,” Elijah nodded. “You looked awfully uncomfortable in that doorway.”
My shoulders slumped.
“You could tell?”
“We have come to know you,” Elijah said gently. “And you should never look like you did when someone is offering you flowers. You seemed to be in need of an excuse to call this date off so we only filled the required roles.”
“Well, I, for one, still enjoyed taunting that fucker.”
“Chester!” I scolded but had to do it through a bout of giggles.
The situation felt surreal. Here I was trying to run from them, only for them to run towards me.
“Food,” Rowan said, staring at me.
“Jeez, yes, I get it.” I rolled my eyes. “Gentlemen, would you accompany me to a restaurant? My treat, as thanks for fixing my car.”
We piled into my car and to my surprise it really ran smoothly, without the scary clanking noise it had produced before. Guess I had to forgive them for helping themselves to my keys if that was the effect. I brought the three men to a tapas place I was salivating to try.
“Do you want to make me go bankrupt?” I mock-complained as Rowan inhaled a whole plate of empanadas.
“It’s hard to believe all of that food fits in his thin body,” Chester nodded his head sagely.
Rowan glared and pointedly showed his biceps. He was pretty tall and slender but his body was one of an athlete.
“Yes, yes, you are perfect. You don’t have to show off,” I muttered.
Rowan leaned forward intently.
“I think he is waiting for you to praise him some more,” Elijah chuckled.
“I’m not doing that!” I spluttered.
Rowan looked so disappointed as he leaned back and slumped in his chair I hesitated.
“Fine,” I groaned. “I maaay have been calling you ‘tall, dark, and handsome’ in my head.”
“Do me next! Me! Me!” Chester nearly climbed onto the table as he waved his hand in the air.
“I would not be opposed to receiving words of praise as well,” Elijah said quietly, his words nearly drowned under Chester’s enthusiasm.
“You’re not the worst,” I deadpanned at Chester. My gaze softened when I turned my attention to Elijah. “You make me want to commit only arson and not homicide, when I work on the school assignments by your side.”
“Heh, high praise indeed!” Chester clapped Elijah on the shoulder.
I was joking but, at the same time, I was unbearably serious. The work dates with Elijah have been a godsend and I enjoyed our quiet talks when we pushed our work to the side for a moment of reprieve or when Elijah told me about his books.
“What about me?” I tossed my hair over my shoulder. “What praise do I get?”
“You are my duck,” Elijah blurted out, then looked as if he wanted to spring out of the restaurant.
“…thanks? I guess?” I said, baffled.
“It’s this concept guys in IT use, right? Talking to a yellow duckie?” Chester asked.
“Yes,” Elijah said, fighting his blush. “What I meant to say is you help me gather my thoughts and come up with new ideas when I’m stuck and have to talk about a particular stubborn plot point. Programmers have this tradition of talking to a rubber duck to solve their problems because sometimes you just have to talk about something out loud to discover a new approach or find an obvious solution or… I just mean you are amazing, Lisa.”
I was struck speechless by such an explanation.
“I’m your duckie?” I beamed at the man. “Even if it has a logical explanation, this is still the sweetest thing anyone ever said to me.”
“Elijah, man, did you have to set the bar so high?” Chester groaned, sprawling onto the table and pushing his dishes away in his dramatic tiff.
Rowan shook his head at his antics and pulled out his phone. His fingers flew over the screen and not long after my phone pinged with a new message.
That was a lot of emojis.
There were sparkles and stars and sun and moon. My screen was covered in flowers, and fire, and an emoji of a cat with hearts in its eyes. A dancing woman, a crown, a bird, a unicorn, a doughnut, spicy pepper… I laughed when I saw the cheese emoji.
“Why cheese?” I asked and turned the screen away to prevent Chester from peeking at the message.
A second later I got an image of an old book proclaiming ‘You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese’.
That was… apparently correct. Damn it, it did work! The hooded stare Rowan sent me told me he knew it as well.
“Whatever Rowan sent you seems to meet your approval,” Elijah grinned. “So now we have only our resident redhead left.”
“I’m not good with words,” Chester mumbled.
We all stared.
The resident chatterbox didn’t think he was good with words?
“I can spew words all day, but that doesn’t mean they matter!” he exclaimed, frustration evident in his voice.
“Then don’t say it with words,” I said gently. “Rowan found his own way to show me what he meant…”
The redhead looked at the ceiling in despair before he blinked once, twice, and that wide smile returned to his face.
“I can draw you!”
The declaration was immediately followed by Chester rummaging in his back and giving a triumphant cry as he found a sketching pad and a pencil, the two things he always had at hand, as the muse could strike at any time.
I amused myself with the food and conversation with Elijah and Rowan while Chester was possessed by his inspiration. The pencil flew across the page, and he looked up occasionally to study me intently for a minute before he went back to the furious scribbling.
Whatever the final result was, I knew it was going to be full of passion.
The sky outside turned completely dark by the time he was done.
“Rowan, my man, switch with me,” Chester requested, and they swapped seats so that the redhead was next to me for the great reveal.
I was excited to discover how Chester saw me.
When the sketchpad was turned towards me, my breath caught in my lungs.
My visage was captured in a profile, with my lips parted, and my hair cascading around my shoulders like a waterfall. The flowing lines, thicker contours, and the pose of my figure draped in a fabric twisting around my body paid homage to one of my favorite artists, Alphonse Mucha. His signature style was complemented by a rosette in the background with the Art Nouveau decorations.
I looked ethereal, pulchritudinous, beauteous. What other fancy word for beautiful was there? I needed them all to describe the sketch in my hand. I took in every detail, my eyes tracing the folds of the dress, the curling strands of hair, the…
“Is that a taco in the background?!”
“Well, I was inspired by what I saw before me!” Chester exclaimed.
“You made me into a taco goddess?” I looked at him in disbelief.
“I can take it back if you don’t want it! I will make you a goddess of… of… of lettuce next time!”
“Don’t you dare. As a taco goddess, I demand a sacrifice! Minions, bring me more tacos!”
“Shouldn’t you be giving us tacos?” Elijah asked teasingly.
“I’m already paying for them. That is the blessing of the taco goddess,” I said sagely.
By those three men’s designation, I was a taco goddess in the shape of a duck, who was fascinated by cheese.
My life certainly won’t be boring with those three around , I thought with a smile.