Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
M y lungs burn as I sprint the final distance along the path that leads up to the side gate. Every breath feels like I’m inhaling shards of glass, but I keep pushing myself. I have to make it. Please, Mabona, I have to make it.
Just dashing through the city like this has taken almost all of the energy I had. I have no idea how I’m supposed to make the climb up to the balcony. My gaze drifts down to the gloves and the other strange pieces of equipment that I’m still holding. Hopefully, these will be enough to get me through it.
At last, the side gate becomes visible before me. With a sob of desperation, I reach for my magic even though my energy is already draining fast. But before I can use it on the guard, he leaps into motion on his own.
While still running towards him, I blink in surprise as he unlocks the door and opens it for me.
When I get closer, I realize that it’s the same guard from before. Conflicting emotions twist in my chest. Apparently, I managed to manipulate his emotions so strongly the first time that I permanently altered his perception of me. On the one hand, that makes me feel incredibly powerful. But at the same time, sharp guilt and rolling nausea hit me straight in the gut.
All my life, people have kept me at arm’s length because they were afraid that I might do something like this to them. And I have been angry at them for that assumption. But now, I’m becoming the person that they always feared I was. The person I swore I wouldn’t be.
Anger burns through me, and I shove the guilt aside. What’s the point of having magic if I can’t use it to help people? It’s not like I make a habit of manipulating people’s emotions. Today was just an exception. A necessity. I needed to make the guard let me out and I needed to make the humans in the resistance group trust me. It was a one-time thing. It’s not like it’s going to happen again. Right?
As I reach the gate, I slow to a walk so that the guard won’t get too suspicious. But it appears to be an unnecessary precaution, because there is only fear in his eyes when he looks at me.
“Please, don’t tell Commander Ryat about earlier,” he whispers as I stalk through the open gate.
I cut him a sharp look and make my voice hard. “As long as I never have to wait for you to open the gate again, your failure stays a secret.”
“You won’t.” He nods vigorously. “I promise.”
An intoxicating burst of satisfaction pulses through me, making me feel invincible. I have to resist the urge to grin as I stride away from the gate and back to the secluded section where Draven’s balcony is.
Once I reach it, I finally come to a complete stop for the first time since leaving The Black Emerald. Dragging in a deep breath to refill my lungs and slow my racing heart, I at last unfold the items in my hands.
The gloves I was given are lined with a strange material across the entire palm section as well as the fingers. I have never seen something like it before. It looks like it should be sticky, but when I poke at it with my finger, it doesn’t get stuck to it.
Shaking my head, I place the gloves on the ground while I fold up the map to the drop-off location and hide it inside my shirt. Then I shake out the final two pieces of equipment. I frown. It looks like two small pouches that are shaped roughly like low shoes. Except they’re stretchy, and the bottom is covered in the same odd material as the gloves.
Since I don’t have time to second-guess this, I just pull them over my boots and then yank on the gloves as well. Then I reach for the closest chunk of ice that sticks out of the wall and begin climbing.
Shock pulses through me.
My hands and feet… it’s like they’re sticking to the ice until I pull them back off. It gives me an incredible grip. I can even just press the bottom of my shoes against the flat wall while only using my hands to grip chunks of ice, eliminating the need to find proper footholds. I doubt the material is strong enough to allow me to just walk up the side of the building, but with the help of the handholds, my shoes stick firmly. As do my hands. They only come off when I deliberately pull them away. It’s almost impossible to slip.
Hope and excitement surge through me. With these, I will be able to climb in and out of the room at will. I could even use it to sneak into other windows in the castle so that I can help the resistance find a way to the treasury without Draven knowing. This is going to be perfect.
I grin as a strong gust of wind whirls around the castle, tugging at my cloak and my hair, while I remain firmly on the ice wall.
For the first time since I began my sprint back, I don’t regret my decision. I will be able to leave any time I want. So I’m not really trapped here.
A massive weight lifts from my chest at just the thought of it.
This is going to work. I’m going to help the resistance find a way to the treasury, they’re going to rob it, and then I’m going to leave this castle for good. The Iceheart Dynasty will be financially crippled. I will be free, and I will have gotten revenge.
My muscles tremble when I at last reach Draven’s balcony again. Despite the help of the gloves and the shoe covers, scaling the side of a building still requires physical strength. Which I don’t exactly have in spades right now.
With a soft groan of exertion, I drag myself over the railing and drop down on the balcony. The door is still slightly open. I stare at it, estimating how large the gap is, while I suck more air into my lungs. The gap looks to be exactly the same as the one I left. Which should hopefully mean that Draven hasn’t been here and noticed it.
After taking off the gloves and the shoe covers, I send a desperate prayer to Mabona that I’m right.
And then I slink back in through the balcony door and close it behind me.
I barely dare to breathe as I straighten inside the living room.
But no angry dragon shifter storms out of the shadows.
Blowing out a long breath of relief, I hurry into my bedroom and yank open one of the drawers. I need to hide the climbing equipment. I bundle them, along with the map, into some other pieces of clothing that I doubt Draven will ever touch.
Right after I have closed the drawer and walked back into the living room, a click comes from the front door.
My heart lurches.
By Mabona, my cheeks are red after the lengthy run and my hair is windblown after the climb and I haven’t even had one single second to just take a breath and compose myself. If Draven sees me like this, he’s going to know that I have done something that I shouldn’t.
Making a split-second decision, I sprint towards the door right across from me.
If he’s going to see me looking this suspicious, I need to give him something else that he can catch me doing.
Right before the front door is pulled open, I yank open the door to Draven’s bedroom and sprint inside.
My heart slams as I skid to a halt on the dark wooden floorboards inside. I draw in a deep breath. And immediately regret it. Because this entire room smells like him. And that scent reminds me of the time when he gave me his shirt. And the time when he kissed every inch of my body and wrung every drop of pleasure from my soul.
“Snooping, huh?”
I whirl around to find Draven standing in the doorway. Or standing isn’t exactly the right word. He has his arms crossed over his muscular chest and one ankle crossed over the other while he leans one shoulder against the doorframe. His body blocks my way out of his bedroom entirely.
Draven tuts and shakes his head, but there is a mischievous glint in his eyes as he holds my gaze. “Though I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. If I remember correctly, sneaking around castles is a favorite pastime of yours.”
And just like that, it feels as if we’re back in the Seelie Court, throwing easy banter back and forth. It makes me want to smile. But it also confuses me. First, I hated him for trying to sabotage me during the Atonement Trials. Then, the more time we spent together, I started to have feelings for him. Then, I hated him again when he put the collar on me and made me his slave. But then he removed my collar the first chance he got and is doing what he can to protect me. And now, I don’t know where we stand anymore.
I know that, logically, I should probably still hate him. But I also can’t just erase all the other feelings that I have for him. Can’t erase how it felt to kiss him. To fuck him solely because I wanted to. Can’t erase how he makes me feel free and strong and makes me feel as if I don’t have to make myself less. Can’t erase how much I enjoyed our banter back in the Seelie Court. How I still feel drawn to him.
Realizing that I still haven’t answered him, I give my head a quick shake and try to compose myself again.
“I wasn’t snooping,” I manage to press out at last.
“No?” Draven arches an eyebrow. “Then why are you blushing furiously?”
Because I just ran through the entire city and then scaled the wall of the palace , I reply silently, and rather smugly, in my mind. But I don’t say that out loud. Instead, I let him think that I’m blushing from embarrassment by just answering with a huff.
His smirk widens. “Were you imagining me in bed?”
My heart stutters.
He chuckles. “If I remember correctly, you’ve done that before too.”
This time, both the blush and the self-conscious huff are real as I remember my embarrassing blabbering when he surprised me back in his room in the Seelie Court. “That’s not what I meant back then, and you know it.”
Pushing off from the doorframe, he straightens and then saunters towards me with that devilish smile still on his lips. “Wasn’t it? I distinctly remember how… wet you were.”
My cheeks feel like they’re on fire.
Draven comes to a halt in front of me and slides two fingers along my jaw. Lightning crackles over my skin at his soft touch. He places his fingers underneath my chin and then pushes upwards, tilting my head back further so that he can lock eyes with me.
“What?” He flashes me a grin. “No clever comebacks?”
“I will escape, you know.”
Leaning closer, he lets out a contemplative hum. It’s a low and dark sound that almost vibrates against my lips. My heart skips a beat at the feeling of it.
“Because that went so well the last time I locked you in my bedroom,” Draven baits.
“I could always just handcuff you to your desk again.”
His eyes glitter. “You’re welcome to try, little rebel. But you and I both know that you look a lot hotter in handcuffs than I do.”
My heart jerks and then beats hard to make up for it. And a jolt a fire shoots through my core.
It’s immediately followed by a flash of panic. I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t be feeling this. And I most certainly shouldn’t enjoy this bantering and the feeling of his fingers against my skin.
Draven might have shown me a scrap of mercy by taking the collar off when I’m in his quarters, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is the Commander of the Dread Legion. A loyal servant to the Icehearts. He might not be draining my magic, but I am still his prisoner. I can’t trust him and he can’t trust me.
Blocking out all the tangled feelings I now have for Draven, I abruptly take a step back so that I can put some distance between us. It makes his hand fall away from my chin.
For one single second, he almost looks confused. As if he can’t understand why I would suddenly pull back like that. Then his gaze drops down to my neck, where the collar should be, and all traces of emotion are wiped straight off his features.
With that mask of only ruthless authority on his face, he takes a step back as well and then jerks his chin towards the door. “Get some rest and then get ready. We’re eating with my clan tonight.”
There is nothing left of the teasing notes that laced his voice only seconds ago. Now, it’s filled with unflinching command. This was not a suggestion. It was an order. From the master to his slave.
I grind my teeth and clench my fist but say nothing. After all, I’m the one who destroyed our little moment in the first place. So instead of refusing out of pointless pride, I just stalk out of his bedroom in silence.
But my treacherous heart squeezes painfully in my chest.
Everything would have been so much easier if I could just flip a switch and forget everything that has happened between me and Draven. Forget everything he made me feel during our time together in the Atonement Trials. But as I, more than anyone, already know, emotions are a lot more complicated than that. And a lot more dangerous.