Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
M y heart aches as I stand there awkwardly on Draven’s bedroom floor, watching him strip out of his armor. The beautiful black and gold dress that I wore tonight is already back in his closet. I brush my hand down the short silk nightgown I’m now wearing again.
This somehow feels like the beginning of the end. We have all the information we need for the heist and our escape. Now, all that is left is carrying it out.
Back in that ballroom, I made the decision to cut ties with Draven. To leave him to his fate and return to my own people. To my own side in this war. But making the decision still doesn’t make the actual act any easier. Especially when my feelings for Draven are already tangled and complicated as it is due to this Goddess damned mate bond.
“Is none of it real?” I find myself asking, my voice coming out much more confused and desperate than I had intended.
Draven drops the final piece of his armor onto the stand with a thud and then turns to face me, now only wearing a pair of black underwear. His brows are furrowed in genuine confusion as he meets my gaze.
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“The… emotions,” I begin uncertainly. “That you have for me. Are they real or just the product of the mate bond? And how do you know the difference? How do you know which ones are real and which ones are forced? Fake? Or is all of it fake?”
The words just tumble out of my mouth one after the other. But once I started, I couldn’t stop. My heart aches, for multiple different reasons, and I just want someone to hold me and tell me that everything will be okay. But not even my own mother has done that for me, not once, since the day she found out about my magic. The only one who has ever come to save me is Draven. He has saved my life three times already. And the thought that he only did it because of this mate bond, and not because he truly cared about me, threatens to crack something fragile inside my chest.
Because if all of his feelings are artificial, something forced upon him by the universe, then that will mean that I have been right all along. That I am on my own. And I always have been.
Draven’s expression softens, and he closes the distance between us.
Tilting my head back, I draw in an unsteady breath and meet his gaze. “Is it all fake?”
Pain flickers in his eyes. Then he slides his hands over my cheeks and into my hair as he holds me steady while his eyes sear into mine. I barely dare to breathe.
His serious eyes burn through my soul. “Does this feel fake to you?”
And then he kisses me.
Slowly and deeply and achingly passionately.
A broken noise comes from the back of my throat. Sliding my hands up his bare chest, I lock them behind his neck and yank him closer. A moan rips from his chest as I kiss him back furiously.
He drops his hands from my hair and instead grabs the hem of my nightgown. With a firm pull, he yanks it upwards. I gasp in a breath as he breaks the kiss while pulling the fabric over my head. His eyes are wild with lust as he tosses the black silken garment to the floor and then closes the distance between us again.
Fire licks through my veins as he slips one hand around the back of my neck and the other around my waist and then yanks me back to him. My tits press against his bare chest as he holds me tight while his lips ravage mine. I moan into his mouth and rake my fingers down his muscular back.
His wings flare wider. I smile against his lips and move my hands up to his wings, gently tracing my fingers over the soft membrane.
A shudder rolls through his entire body, and he slides his hand up from the back of my neck and into my hair, taking it in a commanding grip and tilting my head back further. My heart flutters as he tangles his tongue with mine, completely dominating my mouth, while I trace my fingers across his wings. The most delicious moans rip from his lungs when my fingers brush the soft surface.
He releases my hair and waist and pulls back from the furious kiss. The sudden loss of his mouth against mine leaves me disoriented for a second. Then a jolt shoots through my body as his fingers curl over the top of my panties.
A devilish glint appears in his eyes as he takes the thin fabric of my panties in a firm grip.
Then he rips them open.
My heart flips and heat shoots straight through my core as my torn panties fall to the floor around my ankles.
Locking eyes with Draven, I grab the top of his underwear and try to do the same to him. But apparently, it’s not as easy as he made it look.
A dark laugh rumbles from his chest, and he grips the back of my neck and yanks me into a possessive kiss. Still laughing against my mouth, he slides his other hand underneath his underwear and then just pushes them down his legs instead. Once he has stepped out of them and kicked them aside, I immediately wrap my hand around his thick cock and slide it up and down before teasing his tip with my thumb in retaliation.
To my satisfaction, it draws another one of those delicious moans from his throat.
He bites my bottom lip in revenge while growling, “Such a fucking troublesome little menace, aren’t you?”
I laugh against his lips and slide my hand up and down his cock again at the same time as I use my other hand to caress his wing. His knees buckle for a moment. He forces out a long, steadying breath through his nose as he straightens.
“Now you’ve done it,” he threatens against my mouth.
Grabbing the back of my thighs, he lifts me up from the floor and guides my legs around his hips. I’m forced to release his cock and instead lock my fingers behind the back of his neck. His mouth dominates mine with savage kisses as he carries me towards his bed.
He tries to throw me down on it, but I keep my legs wrapped firmly around his waist. A curse that is half exasperation, half approval rumbles from his chest. After slipping one arm around my back, he climbs onto the bed and then leans forward to lay me down on it instead.
Once my back is resting against the soft mattress, he slides his arm out from underneath me and straightens so that he is sitting on his knees. Then he grabs my ankles, which I still kept locked behind his back, and forces my legs away from his waist.
With a firm grip on my ankles, he spreads my legs wide before pressing them down against the bed. Then he slides his confident hands up my calves and towards my thighs instead. Lightning skitters across my skin at his possessive touch, and my clit aches with need.
I try to close my legs so that I can press my thighs together to help ease the throbbing in my clit, but Draven places his hands on the inside of my thighs and forces my legs to remain spread wide.
Then he leans down and drags his tongue along my pussy.
A jolt shoots up my spine, and I gasp as I arch up from the bed.
Draven’s fingers dig into my thighs as he holds me trapped while he swirls his tongue around my aching clit. Pleasure spears through me, and a moan rips from my lips. I slide my hands through his hair, gripping it hard.
He tortures my clit with slow and luxurious strokes of his tongue until I’m squirming and panting on his sheets.
“Draven,” I gasp.
His teeth scrape against my throbbing clit. Lightning shoots up my spine. Gripping his hair harder, I squirm and wiggle my hips.
“Draven.” His name drips from my mouth like a moan. “Draven, please.”
He lets out a dark chuckle that vibrates against my sensitive clit. “Oh I do so love hearing you beg.”
Straightening, he releases my thighs and instead grips my wrists. After forcing my hands away from his hair, he pins them to the mattress above my head as he leans down over me.
The tip of his cock brushes against my entrance.
Another moan escapes me. My body is so tightly wound that it feels like my very soul is vibrating. Draven claims my lips with a possessive kiss, stealing that moan and the very air from my lungs.
Then he thrusts into me.
I gasp into his mouth as he sheaths himself inside me fully with that one powerful thrust. Pleasure pulses through me at the feeling of him filling me completely.
While still stealing my breath with demanding kisses, he draws his cock out and then slams back in again. My body jolts on the soft sheets. I groan in pleasure and curl my fingers. Draven tightens his grip on my wrists and then thrusts into me again.
I drag in a shuddering breath at the incredible friction it creates. Tension builds inside me as Draven starts up a commanding pace. I adjust my hips, creating an even better angle.
Pleasure crackles through me, making lights flicker in my brain.
I yank against Draven’s grip on my wrists.
“Please,” I moan. “Please let me touch you.”
He keeps pounding into me for another few seconds, denying my request. Then he whispers against my mouth, “Fuck, you’re so pretty when you beg.”
His strong hands disappear from my wrists as he releases me and instead braces himself on the mattress. I slide one hand up his throat and take a firm grip right underneath his jaw.
Lust flares up in his eyes like fire.
“I will make you regret that,” I promise, a wicked smile on my lips.
He lets out a dark chuckle.
“Don’t think for one second, oh Shadow of Death, that I won’t—” My words are cut off by a gasp as Draven’s cock hits a spot deep inside me.
Pleasure shoots up my spine, and I have to move my hand from his throat to his shoulder so that I can dig my fingers into it hard in an effort to hold myself together as Draven thrusts into me, hitting that spot over and over again. A smirk shines on his lips. But I can’t even spare the effort to glare at the smug bastard, because pleasure thrums inside my whole body, making my brain feel like it’s melting.
My body jerks back and forth on the smooth sheets, and I careen towards an orgasm as the pent-up tension inside me soars.
Draven takes one hand from the mattress and slides it along the curve of my breast. Then he rolls my nipple between his fingers. A desperate moan spills from my lips. I gasp air into my lungs and squirm furiously underneath him as the mounting pleasure becomes almost unbearable.
He keeps fucking me hard and dominantly and completely without mercy. Exactly the way I want him to. As if I am, and always has been, his.
His cock hits that perfect spot inside me again at the same time as he pinches my hard and aching nipple.
Release explodes through me.
I gasp as pleasure sweeps through my veins, intense enough to make my legs shake. I dig my fingers into Draven’s muscular shoulder as he continues fucking me through the orgasm. Black spots dance before my eyes. I feel like my heart is going to give out.
Draven watches it all. Drinking it in. His eyes sear through me as he studies every emotion on my face, as if he is burning it into his mind forever.
With great effort, I manage to raise my free hand while my brain continues flickering with pleasure. I drag in a ragged breath and then slide my hand over Draven’s wing.
Pleasure pulses across his face, and a groan rips from deep within his chest, as he comes.
I continue caressing his wing while release crashes through his body as well. Desperate groans spill from his mouth. I stare at his face, completely transfixed.
I still can’t truly believe that I can manage to draw these moans and shudders and these raw emotions from him. It’s intoxicating. It makes me feel drunk with power.
When the final waves of pleasure have at last faded from our bodies, we just remain like that for another few seconds. My hand unmoving against his wing. His cock still buried deep inside me. His eyes on mine and mine on his. Our chests heave.
Then he leans down and kisses me so gently that my heart almost breaks all over again.
Pulling out, he twists sideways and then lies down on the bed next to me. But he doesn’t move to his side of the bed. And neither do I. Lying there beside him in the middle of the bed, I drag in deep breaths and try to convince myself that this didn’t mean anything. That I shouldn’t have done this. That we shouldn’t have done this.
Draven drapes his arm over my body and pulls me closer, holding me tightly against his warm body.
A small and broken whimper escapes my lips.
He rests his chin on the top of my head while he holds me close, as if he fears that I will disappear if he lets me go. Oh if he only knew how right he is. It’s only a matter of days now. Then I will be gone.
“I am a selfish person, Selena.” He lets out a long breath that ruffles my hair. “And as much as I wanted to make sure that you never won the Atonement Trials, I’m secretly glad that you were stubborn and brilliant enough to win it despite all my sabotaging.”
My heart slams against my ribs.
He draws in a deep breath, breathing me in, and tightens his arms around me. “Because it allowed me to have this time with you.”
Something very fragile inside my chest just cracks wide open, and I have to bite my bottom lip hard to stop the sound that almost makes it out of my mouth.
And all the while, I force my mind to keep repeating one sentence over and over again.
We are enemies.
We are enemies.
We are enemies.