40. Lilly
Chapter 40
Lilly
A dull throb pulses throughout my body, and it takes me a minute to figure out why.
Memories of what happened begin flashing in my brain.
Finding Tony in my house, getting tied to that chair, and watching my house burn down around me.
Vivid images that are refusing to go away.
I'm not sure how I'm alive right now, and by the steady beeping noise coming from my right, I'm guessing I'm in a hospital.
I don't want to open my eyes, even if I could.
I don't want to know the extent of the damage done by a man desperate for money.
I'm not ready to face reality.
“Bumblebee, are you awake?” The soft voice is followed by a squeeze of my hand.
I squeeze him back, letting him know that I can hear him. But I'm not ready to wake up yet.
“Fuck, baby,” Noah whispers, emotions threading through every letter.
Pressure on my arm makes me wonder if he's put his head down on the bed.
I want to comfort him. I want to be there to help him through this moment.
I want him to know that I'm okay, all things considered.
But I think I’d be lying to him.
I have no idea how I’m doing.
I'm pretty sure I’m swimming through a morphine-induced fog, which without, I'd likely be in a world of pain.
And dammit, I deserve to be selfish in this moment. A man terrorized me, threatened me, and tried to kill me.
I think I'm allowed to put off reality for a little bit longer.
Instead of trying to open my eyes, I just fall back into deep unconsciousness, giving myself permission to rest.
The darkness swallows me, and I welcome it.
The next time I wake up, I'm feeling a little more aware.
Voices in my hospital room surround me, having a conversation I can't quite understand.
My mouth feels as dry as the Sahara, and without the constant throbbing of pain, my eyes flicker open to take in the room.
Noah is in a chair beside me, his head laid over his hands on the bed. He looks as if he's asleep, but I highly doubt he's out.
Natalie and Christine are sitting off to the side of my hospital room. Seeing the two of them together and talking as if they're old friends makes me smile. I hope this means some good can come out of the attack.
I go to move my hand, belatedly realizing that Noah's got it in his grasp.
The movement has him shooting up, his eyes bearing down on me. “Bumblebee, you're awake.” Dark circles ring his blue eyes, and his hair is a mess on top of his head.
How long have I been here?
How long have I been completely out of it?
I'm not sure I'm ready to know the answers to that question, so instead, I just ask for a glass of water.
Noah jumps up and reaches over to the tray behind him, where a cream-colored pitcher sits. He quickly pours a cup, sticks a paper straw in it, and brings it back over to me.
My cracked lips wrap around the straw, but the water feels cool and calming on my throat. I suck down what's in the cup quickly and lay my head back down.
Natalie and Christine step over to the bed with matching soft smiles.
Christine runs a hand across my hair. “It's good to see you awake.”
"Where's Nellie?" I ask.
“Tucker took her down to the cafeteria to get something to eat,” Natalie answers.
I look down at my blanket-covered body, wondering what my injuries are. I'm honestly surprised to even be alive, so whatever they are, I'll take them.
Noah must see the question in my eye, and he begins to list off everything that has happened. “You had severe smoke damage and needed to be intubated for a couple of days. You have mostly second-degree burns on your right arm. The doctors say they should heal fully in a few months, but there are a couple of spots where they may scar. All in all, you’re in the clear, but they want to keep you here to make sure you’re breathing okay and that your burns don’t get infected.”
It's hard to take in the words that Noah is saying. I'm lucky to only have been burned on my arm. The memory of being right next to the table as it went up in flames tries to take over my brain.
I push it away, unable to deal with those memories just yet.
"Mommy!" Nellie cries as she bursts into the room.
Happiness takes over all the bad news. My smile is wide as Nellie clambers up onto the bed. Noah tries to hold her back, but there is no stopping the force that is Nellie.
The jostling doesn't feel great, but after everything that’s happened, I’ll take a painful hug from my daughter any day.
Knowing she was in danger, and still is to some degree, has me squeezing her tight to my chest. Damn the consequences.
I'll never let anything happen to her , I vow. No matter what I have to do.
“I found this guy out in the hallway before we came in here,” Tucker says, turning towards Cooper, who's hovering behind him.
"Hey, kiddo," Cooper says, softly. "I wasn't sure if you'd be awake today."
Nellie snuggles into my left side, laying her head on my chest. These types of cuddles are few and far between with her now, as her body is typically too antsy to stay still like this for very long.
I soak up every moment of it.
"I'm not sure how long I'm gonna last," I tell Cooper. "I'm apparently on some good drugs. They're making me sleepy."
"Well, I won't keep you awake for too long. If you're up for some questions, I'd like to ask you about the other night."
"Okay," I say softly. I'm not sure I am up for it, but I'd rather do it now and get it out of the way than put it off for later.
"Are you okay with everybody staying in the room?" Cooper asks.
I just nod. I know they're all wondering what happened, too, so I might as well tell the story once and be done with it.
"Do you know who attacked you?" Cooper asks.
“He said his name was Tony. He came to my parents' funeral and introduced himself. And last week, he stopped me in the store and tried to have a conversation with me. I don't know his last name, but I know his face, so I could pick that out of a lineup if needed.”
Cooper nods. “Walk me through what you remember from that night.”
“I went home to pack some things to spend the night at Natalie and Tucker's house. When I walked in the door, I turned the alarm off and realized I heard somebody shuffling papers.” I continue the story from there, telling them everything that happened between then and the fire. “I passed out at some point, and then I woke up here. I'm not sure what happened in between.”
Noah grabs my hand. "We were alerted about the panic button being triggered by the security company, and we made it in time to put the fire out before it got out of hand. One of the guys carried you out of the house. He said you were passed out, tied to a chair. The kitchen and dining room are basically destroyed, but the rest of the house seems to have been saved."
"Thank God for the security company, then, huh?" My attempt to lighten the mood falls flat.
"It was your quick thinking that did the trick," Cooper says. “I’m going to get with Dan, the US Marshal from your case, and see if we can put together a photo array for you to pick out who did this to you.”
I nod my head, sleep starting to pull me under. My throat feels raw after all the talking, and I'm ready to check out again.
With Nellie's body tucked up against mine and Noah's hand squeezing my fingers, I feel settled for the first time since I woke up.
I don't know what happens next.
I'm not even confident that they're going to find the man who did this to me.
But what I do know is that I'm surrounded by family who would do anything to protect me.
No matter what may come.